Final Fantasy Tactics Point 5
by ker-plop
Summary: Final Fantasy Tactics.5 The Zeratul Chronicles. When Ramza and company flee Ivalice, a new adventure begins... NOW MODIFIED FOR READABILITY!
1. Prologue

_In Ivalice, the church states that a young man named Delita Hyral ended the 'Lion War' and became king..._

_The church also writes of a heretic and ruffian, Ramza Beoulve, and they condemn him._

_Professor Alazlam Durai discovered about a year ago that the personalities of these two individuals were misshaped by church records, and Ramza is the true hero, while Delita was a manipulative tyrant._

_The church covered up Ramza's deeds in Ivalice, but when he was forced to flee to another continent, things changed for Ramza and his friends..._

_Join Professor Alazlam and his assistant, Watson, as they research..._

FINAL FANTASY TACTICS.5

The Zeratul Chronicles

written by ker-plop

**CHAPTER 1**

**PROLOGUE**

Professor Alazlam Durai inhaled deeply as he got off the boat that had carried him far away from his University study in Igros, Ivalice. He had been at sea for almost three weeks before the ship had docked in Porta Vista, the local port in the northern area of the new country he was in. This country was called Zeratul, and it was much more technologically advanced than Ivalice was.

Professor Durai was a history buff. He wanted to know as much about it as possible. In fact, it was this interest that had led him to research Ivalice's infamous 'Lion War,' and publish a new report that pretty much reversed the church's written records.

The church had written the history like this; a young man named Delita Hyral appeared during the Lion War and ended it on his own, then became a powerful king. However, Durai, with the help of his friend and trusted assistant, Watson, had researched enough to come to a different conclusion; Delita was not the kind grandfather-like figure the church made him out to be.

First of all, Delita had a friend; Ramza Beoulve. The church merely blows him off as a heretic and a blasphemer. Durai and Watson found that this was because Ramza kept a monstrous entity from conquering the world by keeping the legendary Zodiac Stones out of the church's reach. Also, Delita was a twisted and manipulative person, who tricked people into doing his dirty work for him. And the last and final thing was that Delita had killed his wife, Ovelia, and assumed total control of the country. These are the reports that Durai and Watson had found in Olan Durai's book, The Durai Report.

"Ahh, this is a real nice place!" Durai's assistant, Regis Watson, said as he walked off the boat and stood next to his friend. "I will enjoy our stay here."

"Remember, old friend," Durai said. "We're here on a mission."

A mission, indeed. Alazlam had received word from a friend of his that lived in Zeratul that a few documents of interest had been found in a previously undiscovered chamber of the capital's library, which was over 500 years old. The documents had something to do with a subject that Durai was familiar with, his friend had said. Durai had decided to use his sabbatical to come and see these documents.

As the scholars rode the bullet train- a fantastic new device- Durai's mind drifted back to the story of Ramza and his companions. Ramza may have been hated by the church, but he had a lot of people that traveled with him and cared for him...

Agrias, Princess Ovelia's bodyguard, who Ramza rescued after she had failed in her duties to protect the princess...

Alicia and Lavian, Agrias's two aides, who were as devoted to Agrias as any knight could be...

Mustadio, the genius engineer who helped Ramza find new things all the time...

Rad, the apprentice of the Dark Knight Gafgarion, who Ramza had to defeat, and Rad had decided to travel with Ramza and learn from him instead...

Rafa, an exotic Heaven Knight who Ramza had rescued. She seemed to be very devoted to protecting him and the others...

Malak, Rafa's brother, who cherished his sister more than himself...

Orlandu, a skilled swordsman who had earned the nickname "Thunder God Cid" among his peers...

Meliadoul, a mighty swordswoman who had joined Ramza to find out what happened to her father...

Beowulf, a Temple Knight with a taste for adventure...

Reis, a Dragoner, who Beowulf protected with all his muster...

Worker No.8, the Steel Giant that Ramza and Mustadio had revived, who did everything it could to please its masters...

Cloud, the mysterious time traveler that no one really could make heads or tails of...

And Alma, Ramza's devoted sister, who was the only other surviving member of his family.

"They couldn't have just vanished where Olan's report ends," Durai said. "There had to be something else that they did..."

"We're here, Alazlam," Watson said, getting up. "I should think we'll go to the library and meet your friend."

Durai and Watson walked into the massive library of Berkana, Zeratul's capital. Books and scrolls were stacked up from floor to ceiling on all four sides. Even Durai was surprised.

"Alazlam! Regis! You guys came!"

Durai turned and saw one of his best friends, Atremis Katrea, walking towards them. "Atremis, how are you, you old salt?" Durai asked, the two shaking hands warmly.

"Never been better!" Katrea laughed. "It is so good to see you get out of the old university once in a while!"

"Well, I was very busy," Durai said. "Remember my report on the Lion War?"

"Indeed!" Katrea said. "I read that over five times. Magnificent work, you two. In fact, your report is the reason I sent for you."

"Really?" Watson asked. "What is it?"

"I'm a historian at this library," Katrea said. "But I'm also kind of an archaeologist. I discovered a hidden chamber beneath this library where the most sacred and renowned texts lie, and I found a book..."

Katrea leaned in very close, so that only Durai and Watson could hear him. "...A book about the young Beoulve and what happened after the Lion War!"

"Surely you must be joking!" Durai exclaimed. "No one wrote any more about Ramza after Olan was eliminated."

"No one in Ivalice, you mean," Katrea said. "Apparently, Ramza had quite a few adventures after he fled your country. Please, come with me."

Katrea pulled out a flashlight and motioned the other two scholars to follow him down a long flight of stairs.

"I'm not as interested in Ivalice's history as yourself, Alazlam, but I knew that you'd think this is a gold mine," Katrea said as he motioned the others into a room about 7 floors below the regular library.

"Why do you keep it down here, out of reach of the common folk?" Durai asked.

"The Zeratulians are very... emotional about lying and wrongdoing," Katrea explained. "If they found out about this, they'd be practically swimming over to Ivalice to give Ivalice's branch of the church an earful."

"Well, when you put it THAT way," Watson chuckled.

Katrea plucked a rather large, dictionary-sized volume off a shelf and blew the dust off the cover, which everyone reacted to in a wave of coughs. "Here it is," Katrea said, handing Durai the book.

Durai wiped some of the more stubborn dust off the cover with his sleeve. The gold-leaf letters on the cover read:

_RAMZA BEOULVE, NOBLE WARRIOR_

_As told by Cinna Garnomm_

_Written by Cress Woodrow_

"Cinna Garnomm?" Durai asked.

"A renowned Zeratul bard," Katrea explained. "He wrote and sung ballads to honor things and people. Well, I'm sure you'll be wanting to check in to your hotel, so go ahead and take the book with you. We're closing soon, anyway."

"Thank you, old friend," Durai said. "I hope this is as huge a discovery as you put made it sound in your letter."


	2. The Exiled

**CHAPTER 2**

**THE EXILED**

_(The opening theme for the PBS "Chronicles of Narnia" show begins to play)_

It has been 3 weeks since Ovelia perished at the hands of Delita and little has changed. Delita has decided to dispatch his troops to locate Ramza Beoulve and destroy him, for fear his dark deeds be exposed. Using intelligence, the troops have traced Ramza and his companions to an abandoned dock near Gariland Magic City. There they hope to wipe out Ramza and his rebel friends.

Little do they know that the real war is just beginning...

"Hey Cid, give us a hand here!" Ramza Beoulve shouted to Orlandu (also known as "Thunder God Cid") as he and his friend Mustadio struggled to shove Worker No.8 aboard the ship they had found and restored. Queen Ovelia was dead, King Delita had total control over everything and Ramza and his friends were on the run from the church and Delita's troops. They had built a ship so that they could sail away to Steronn, a country where the church had no influence at all. In fact, it was mostly jungle and wasteland, with few habitable biomes.

"Are you sure that Steronn is where we should go?" Agrias Oaks, who until recently had been Ovelia's bodyguard, asked Ramza. "We're just running away from the problem? Is that it?"

"What can we do?" Cloud Strife asked as he lugged a huge suitcase onto the ship. "This country's going to pot, and we're all wanted heretics. You wanna just stay here and let them gut us?"

"I never said that!" Agrias growled at the time traveler. "But it just seems like we're taking the coward's way out... Hey, Alicia! Lavian! Be careful with my weapons chest over there!"

"Sometimes the coward's way is the best way," Mustadio argued. He and Agrias had really been snapping at each other a lot lately. Nobody knew why, not even themselves.

"I will go where the master goes," Worker No.8 said as he slowly walked onto the boat and sat down in the middle to maintain balance.

"And we don't have a home anymore anyway," Rafa sighed as she helped Malak load a crate of fruits on board. "Besides, I want to see the rest of the world."

"I agree with Rafa," Beowulf, a renowned hunter, said as he practiced slashing with his sword. "I'm just itching for some adventure."

Reis and Meliadoul said nothing, but boarded the ship and sat down. They both agreed that staying quiet on this one would be the wisest decision.

"OK, is that everything?" Ramza asked. He turned around and looked. All he saw that was left was his sister, Alma. She was standing at the edge of the enclosure they were building their boat in, watching the eternally green pine trees shift in the gentle wind on the turf outside.

"Alma?" Ramza asked as he walked up behind her.

"I can't believe she's gone..." Alma sighed. "She was my best friend in the world."

"I'm sorry too," Ramza said. "Circumstances surrounding the whole thing are pretty darn shady, if you ask me, but..."

Alma sniffled a bit. "Look," Ramza finally said. "When things cool down here, we might come back and do some detective work and find out what really happened. In the meantime, however-"

Ramza's words were cut short by an arrow embedding itself in the wall next to Ramza. "Crap!" he shouted, shoving Alma inside. "Get on the boat! I'll catch up!"

"So, we finally meet, Ramza Beoulve!"

Ramza turned around to see about 20 knights and archers standing in front of him. One of the Archers, apparently the leader, cleared his throat. "By order of his supreme excellency Delita Hyral, you and your heretic band will be executed immediately!"

"What?! Not while I'm around!" Ramza said, turning around and heading for the boat.

"Kill him!" the captain roared, verbally unleashing the knights and the archers' barrages of arrows at Ramza. Ramza turned around and saw he'd have to slow the onslaught down while Mustadio got the ship moving.

"Get it moving, Mustadio!" Ramza shouted. "I'll keep 'em busy!"

"Right!" Mustadio shouted as he opened the sails and cranked up the motor- a new invention he had made- and the ship began to move out to sea.

"Kill them! Kill all of them!" the captain yelled.

"Not today you won't," Ramza growled. "Earth Slash!!!"

Ramza slammed his fist into the ground, blowing the knights and archers everywhere. Then he turned and ran to the ship and jumped on just as the dock vanished below him.

"Archers, fire! Kill the heretics!" the captain shouted as he armed his own bow. Arrows started falling everywhere.

"Why can't those shmoes just leave us alone?!" Rad, Ramza's apprentice, growled. He threw a few Lightning Balls over the side of the ship and the arrows stopped. Rad sighed with relief.

"Well gang, we're off!" Ramza said. "Off to a place where the church isn't. Somewhere where we won't be attacked and persecuted for stuff we didn't do."

"Sounds good to me," Rafa said, looking over the ship's bow. Her dark brown hair blew gently in the ocean breeze and the salt air tickled her caramel-tinted skin.

"Urgh. I'm getting seasick..." Alicia, one of Agrias's apprentice knights, groaned. She ran to the side of the boat and... well... you know.

"You'll get used to it eventually," Lavian, Agrias's other apprentice, said as she watched Alicia regurgitate with sluggish curiosity before turning back to her book.

"We'll finally get away from that pig, Delita," Agrias grumbled as she looked back at the mainland. "Good riddance, I say! May fate make him infertile!"

Malak shuddered. "Oi, that's a wicked curse," he muttered. "Remind me not to tick you off."

"Amazing, this ship!" Mustadio said as he steered the craft across the waves. "It's almost like we're flying."

"I've lived in Ivalice all my life," Orlandu said. "...And now they want my head on a stick there. I wonder if I'll be able to handle this change?"

"I know this is tough for all of you," Ramza addressed his friends. "It's hard for me, too. But remember, we're all in this together. We'll get through this and start a new life elsewhere."

There was a respectful silence.

"...Ovelia, one of these days, I shall avenge you!" Agrias solemnly vowed between clenched teeth.

"I'll see my dad again one day," Mustadio said. "Until then, I'll follow you wherever you go, Ramza."

"Maybe I'll find a way to get back to my own time overseas," Cloud said. "I'm not exactly enjoying this, but you guys are great friends."

"We'll all find something, I'm sure," Rafa said.

"Well," Rad said. "Anyone for a chorus of 'Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle of Rum?'"


	3. The Maelstrom

**CHAPTER 3**

**THE MAELSTROM**

King Delita sat back in his throne, content with the feel of its padding. A while ago he decided that he actually enjoyed being the only person in power in Ivalice. With Ovelia out of the way, he could do whatever he wanted... and enjoy the company of whoever he wanted.

"I think I'm gonna like this," Delita chuckled, his eyes losing that glimmer that they had possessed for a long time. Of course he missed having Ovelia around for comfort and love, but absolute power wasn't anything to sneeze at.

He finally rose up. "I wonder how my soldiers did? Ramza ought to be gone like a hangover at noon by now. Ah, well. That's what you get for going up against the master," he chuckled darkly as he shrugged.

"Sir!"

Delita looked up suddenly as a page rushed in and fell at his feet. "Captain Ehrhart has returned, sir. He was unable to capture Ramza Beoulve or any of his friends. They got on a ship and sailed off..."

Delita's eyes darkened further. "Where did they go?" he asked coldly.

"Unknown at the present time, sir."

Delita walked around behind the page, observing the lad's form. "Go and tell Captain Flite, my strongest officer, to get his finest spies out to the other countries and locate Ramza. I shan't rest until he's long gone. He knows too much."

"Knows too much, sir?"

"...Never mind. Just tell him that."

"Yes, sir." The page rose up and courteously backed towards the door.

"One more thing," Delita said, freezing the page in his tracks.

The page turned around. "Y-yes, sir?"

"Go and fetch me that new Mediator we recruited last week."

"Ms. Rachel Gem, sir?"

"Yes... I want to have... a discussion."

"Err... Yes, sir."

The page vanished, and Delita smirked to himself. "I'm REALLY going to enjoy this," he sneered. "Chairman Mao was a great role model. I'll follow what he did."

"Excuse me," said the network censor as she appeared. "I would like to point out the many inaccuracies in this scene. First of all, the opinion that Chairman Mao Zedong of the People's Republic of China was a great role model is merely an opinion and was not intended to offend anyone that thinks that Chairman Mao Zedong of the People's Republic of China was NOT a great role model. Secondly, Chairman Mao Zedong of the People's Republic of China is not even born yet during the period in history that this story takes place. Furthermore-"

The censor looked around. Everyone had left. A cricket was chirping.

"Well, I'm just trying to ensure that this is a QUALITY story, not some offensive bombshell that would destroy family values and-"

An anvil fell on her.

* * *

Night rested over the calm ocean. The ship rocked gently in the current, and the wind gently pushed the sails along at a moderate pace (the motor was turned off at night). The moon glistened on the salty water. The world was at peace.

Ramza sat up on the bow of the ship and looked out over the ocean. He thought of everything he'd gone through up until now... The friends he'd made and the ones who'd betrayed him... The people he didn't want to fight but had to anyway... All sorts of things.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he cast his gaze back down at the water. "The ocean doesn't discriminate," he said aloud. "It doesn't care who you are; it denies passage to no one, and it will take anyone in a sudden storm or whirlpool. It's one of the fairest things in this world... How I wish life could be more like that... so calm and passive..."

"Can't sleep?"

Ramza turned around and saw Rafa behind him. "Oh, it's you, Rafa," Ramza said, turning to her.

"I thought I heard you come up about half an hour ago," Rafa said. "I just came to check on you."

"That's really nice of you," Ramza said. "I'm just thinking..."

"About this whole mess with Delita and Ovelia and the church?" Rafa asked.

"Yeah," Ramza sighed. "I never expected that my life would end up like this."

Rafa's eyelids fluttered. "What were you hoping for?" she asked.

"Ahh, it's not important," Ramza said. "What matters is that now I can do as I please and won't have to answer to any churches or kings. It's an open road, Rafa, and I hope to walk along it as long as I can."

"Hmmm..." Rafa murmured.

"Something up, guys?"

Ramza and Rafa whipped around to see Mustadio coming up onto the deck with a few scientific instruments. "Nice night, isn't it? Not a cloud in sight."

"Well, except for the one sleeping in the bunk above Orlandu," Ramza joked.

"Ha ha. Hmm..." Mustadio returned to his machines. He started turning wires here, adjusting bolts there... It was interesting to watch him work.

"What are you doing, Mustadio?" Rafa asked.

"I'm setting up my homemade telescope," Mustadio said. "I like looking at the stars and planets at night, but there was too much smog in Goug Machine City, so it's a real treat to see a sky this clear."

"Mustadio," Ramza said. "What amazes me about you is that you can be on the run from the church, fight evil demons and monsters, and yet you still set aside time for your hobbies and you're never depressed. It takes someone with a lot of heart to be like that."

"Uh, thanks," Mustadio chuckled. "Hmmm... Hey, there's Jupiter!"

Ramza and Rafa spent about an hour watching Mustadio point out the various constellations and planets that he could see with his telescope. It was getting to be a pretty enjoyable time, when Agrias popped up though the deck. She looked quite upset.

"Hey, techno-geek boy!" she huffed at Mustadio. "Some of us are trying to sleep down there and we'd really appreciate it if you'd quit it with the stomping around and talking!"

"Hey, this is an important hobby for me," Mustadio growled. "Just because you don't have any hobbies doesn't mean you can trash talk mine."

"Hey Mustadio," Rafa said as she pulled away from the telescope. "What's the big, slimy, dragon-like thing?"

"What?" Mustadio asked, walking over and looking into the telescope. "Whoo! What the heck IS that?! Looks like a pretty big..."

"Err, Mustadio..." Ramza said, pointing straight ahead. Everyone looked up. There was a gigantic sea beast right in front of them!

"We're gonna hit it!" Agrias yelled.

"I'll try to steer us away," Mustadio said, running up and seizing the wheel, but it was too late. The front of the ship bumped into the serpent. It screeched a horrible yell and turned to face them, primordial rage in its eyes.

"That's Tsunami, the Water Demon!" Rafa exclaimed. "I thought she was just a myth, but..."

"I'm terribly sorry we crashed into you," Mustadio shouted up at the beast. "We really mean you no harm. Would you please let us go?"

Tsunami roared a horrible, screaming sound, much like one could hear from a very angry balooga whale.

"If it won't let us go willingly..." Agrias growled, drawing her treasured Rune Blade. "Lightning Stab!"

Agrias's electric attack stunned the monster for a second, and then it got really angry. It started to swim around in a circle, whirling faster and faster.

"Oh, no..." Rafa cried.

"Nice going, Agrias," Mustadio yelled. "Is attacking stuff all you can do?!"

"Better than being a wuss like you!" Agrias shouted back.

"Will you two shut up?!" Ramza yelled. "We're in trouble!"

"TIDAL CYCLONE!!!!" Tsunami roared and unleashed a horrible tornado of water at the ship. The boat tossed and turned like a twig caught in a tempest. Everyone was pretty much awake now.

"What's happening?!" Meliadoul asked.

"We're stuck in a tornado!" Alicia shouted as she and Lavian looked out the window.

"How'd we get in here?" Lavian asked.

"Ramza!" Alma shouted.

"Rafa!" Malak yelled.

"Auntie Em!" Rad yelled.

"Stop the ride!" Meliadoul yelled. "I wanna get off!"

The boat was suddenly airborne. For about 5 seconds, they hovered 100 meters above the ocean. Then...

"Heads up, we're gonna fall!!" Ramza yelled. He then grabbed onto the mast as Rafa grabbed hold of his midsection.

"Save the telescope!" Mustadio yelled, kicking the instrument down the boat's stairs quickly before grabbing the wheel and holding on for dear life.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Agrias yelled as the boat plummeted, and she was lifted up off the deck and rose high up into the air. No one could see what was happening because they all either had their eyes shut or were looking at the rapidly-growing ocean.

SPLASHHHHHHHH!!!!!

"Ramza? Ramza, wake up..."

Ramza's eyes fluttered open and he sat up. It was morning, and Alma and Rafa were watching him closely as he brushed himself off and looked around. "Woah..." he finally said. "Have we got the devil's luck or what?"

The boat had managed to survive the whole ordeal. Everyone was up on deck, safe and sound, except...

"Where's Agrias?" Ramza asked. Rafa shook her head.

"We don't know," Alma said. "We looked everywhere. She isn't on the ship, so..."

"HEY!!!"

"I know that voice," Rafa said, looking upwards, just like everyone else.

Agrias was clinging to the mast about 5 meters up, holding on tight like a cat up a tree. "Someone get me down! I HATE heights!"

"So, THERE you are!" Mustadio laughed. "You must like climbing! Well, how do you feel about sliding down?"

A well-placed Lightning Stab made Mustadio jump backwards. "HEY! Watch where you're aiming!" he yelled angrily.

"Then watch your mouth, geek!" Agrias yelled. "GET ME DOWN!!!"

"I think I can help with that," Meliadoul said. "I'll use some Time Magic. Worker No.8?"

"Ready, Mistress Meliadoul," Worker No.8 said, standing in front of Meliadoul.

"Good. Float!"

A few flashes and Worker No.8 rose up into the air. He grabbed Agrias and floated back down, setting her down on the deck and then landing himself. The impact rocked the ship a bit.

"Are you OK, Agrias?" Ramza asked.

"I'm fine," Agrias huffed sarcastically as she brushed herself off. "Never better."

"I didn't know Captain Agrias was afraid of heights," Lavian whispered to Alicia.

"You learn something new every day," Alicia giggled.

"It's a good thing we're all OK. Where are we?" Malak asked.

"Good question..." Ramza said, looking out over the water. "Hey, I see land!"

Everyone rushed to the front of the ship to look. There, looming before them was a huge continent. On this continent there were huge, tall structures built of metal and glass. They stretched upwards, almost to the clouds. They glittered from the light almost as much as the ocean did.

"Where... are we?..." Rafa asked quietly.


	4. Porta Vista

**CHAPTER 4**

**PORTA VISTA**

"It looks like Tsunami blew us WAY off course," Mustadio said as he observed the peculiar structures on the shore. "I've never seen anything in Ivalice that was as advanced as this."

"Still, we don't know if the locals are friendly," Malak warned. "It wouldn't be wise to just sail into the harbor. Perhaps it would be better if we came ashore at a more remote area."

Mustadio piloted the boat about 3 kilometers south of the area and fired a torpedo anchor (another patented Mustadio gizmo) into the shore to secure the boat in case they needed to come back to it.

"I'll go on in and scout it out," Ramza said, hopping off the boat and onto the sandy beach. "Does anyone want to come with me?"

"You bet I will," Mustadio said, climbing down the ship and landing next to Ramza. "This place looks interesting."

"I'll come, too," Agrias said. "If we run into trouble, I'll give it back to 'em twofold."

"Not very good at rhyming, are we?" Mustadio chuckled.

"Oh, shut up," Agrias huffed.

"I'd like to come along," Rafa said. "I didn't really get to do much when we were in Ivalice."

"If you go, I'll go too," Malak said, accompanying his sister off the boat.

"OK, we'll go scout it out," Ramza said up to the others on the ship. "You guys stay here. We'll come back and tell you what it's like, OK?"

"Got it!" Rad signaled back. Ramza and company turned and walked towards the strange area.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a dark, dreary void, twelve shiny, strange-looking characters observed Ramza with a magic mirror.

"That's their leader," one said. "His name is Ramza Beoulve."

"Those who once underestimated him are now nothing but a memory," a second one said.

"We won't make that mistake," a third hissed. "He may be powerful, but he is blind to what is happening around him."

"Plus he's in trouble, I heard," a fourth growled. "On the run from the church and the leader of Ivalice."

"We'll keep him busy until the master is ready," the first said.

"Yes," the second added. "How is the plan proceeding, anyway?"

"Our mages have begun the chant to open the portal," the first reported. "However, some of them are stumbling over the ancient words and need more practice... Plus, we still need a habitable corpse."

"We haven't much time," the third snapped. "We must revive the master on schedule. We must hurry..."

* * *

"Wow," Mustadio said as the five adventurers walked into the town. A large sign on two poles read WELCOME TO PORTA VISTA.

"Porta Vista?" Malak asked. "Hmm... Where are we, anyway? Let me check my map..."

The others turned and waited for Malak to fish out his map. He looked over it carefully. "Hmm... It says here that Porta Vista is a coastal town in the country of Zeratul, a land not well known to Ivalice. Having said that, I can't give much more information."

"Well, at least we know that we were blown WAY off course," Agrias said. "Steronn's to the far east of Ivalice; Zeratul is to the far west."

"Has the church any influence here?" Rafa asked.

"A little, I suppose," Malak said. "The country's a democracy, ruled by a president and two houses of congress, the Parliament and the Duma." Malak stopped talking and looked around. "And they obviously have a different way of constructing their buildings."

Yes, the buildings were large and mostly metallic, but there were some familiar sights; Chocobo-drawn carriages plodded through the street, and there were vendors on corners selling odds and ends, just like in Ivalice.

"We'd better get some information," Ramza said. "Let's find a bar. They always have good information."

As they walked through the busy hub of commerce, Rafa walked up and tried to keep pace with Ramza. "Are you hoping we'll be able to find someone to fix our boat?" she asked.

"Maybe," Ramza said. "But this country is new to me, and it intrigues me. Perhaps we'll spend a little time here seeing sights before we leave."

"Sounds like a plan," Rafa said, smiling. "I like going on adventures with you guys."

Ramza smiled at Rafa. He couldn't help but enjoy her company. Even though she was the second youngest member of the team (she was 19, and the youngest was Rad, who was 18), she always managed to be bright and cheery, which kept everyone else optimistic.

"Mustadio, would you please stop gawking at every little thing like some dumb tourist?" Agrias asked the engineer angrily.

"But there's so much to see!" Mustadio said, his neck straining from looking upwards. "It's so interesting, and-OOF!"

Mustadio had collided with a robed figure. Both of them fell on the bottoms and were stunned for a second. Mustadio got up first.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, holding out his hand in an attempt to help the person up. The hooded guy looked up at Mustadio. His eyes got big, and he slapped Mustadio's hand away and took off down the street. They soon lost him in the crowd.

"Well, that was weird," Malak said. "What do you suppose that was all about?"

"Maybe these folks in Zeratul are shy," Agrias suggested.

"...Or maybe some of them are just squealers," Ramza said, as he spied the hooded man coming back through the cloud, leading a church cardinal and a few monks.

"Let's get outta here!" Mustadio panicked.

"You!" the cardinal shouted. "You're that heretic from Ivalice! You made a mistake coming here, sinful dog!"

"I guess the church DOES have some influence here," Malak said, drawing his staff.

"I don't want to fight," Ramza said, backing up. "We'll leave..."

"Not alive, you won't!" the cardinal said. "Monks!"

Three monks appeared behind the group, and 3 more appeared in front. "We're here, Cardinal Zerrus," the lead one said.

"There heretics are dangerous! Eliminate them!" Cardinal Zerrus shouted, pointing at the five friends.

"You want a fight? Fine. Bring it on..." Agrias growled, her Rune Blade glistening in the morning light.

Mustadio cocked his Blast Gun and spun it around like a wild west hero. "Don't mess with us, or you'll really be sorry," he warned.

"Why must I always battle?" Ramza asked. "I don't want to fight any more..."

"Then die and remove yourself from this world!" Zerrus yelled. "ATTACK!"

The monks charged at the group, their fists flailing.

"Stasis Sword!" Agrias yelled, stunning two of the monks with one blow.

"Asura!" Rafa shouted, knocking a monk off her feet with a holy blast.

"Asura Back!" Malak added, sending a dark burst of energy at another monk.

"Leg Aim!" Mustadio yelled, stunning a monk's legs so he fell on his face.

"Hyeeeaaaaahhhhh!!!" Ramza yelled, charging through the monks and tackling the cardinal with a devastating Dash attack.

When the dust cleared, all the monks were either out cold or stunned. "Curses!" Zerrus yelled. "You shan't get away with this! I may have lost, but the church shall always triumph! Retreat!"

Zerrus took off, with the monks trailing after him. Ramza sheathed his sword and sighed. "Every time I try to get out, they just pull me back in again," he sighed.

"We showed them!" Agrias said, pumping her fist. "Agrias's still got it!"

"For all we know, Zerrus is calling for reinforcements," Mustadio said. "Maybe we'd better get out of here."

"I don't think he'll be calling for reinforcements anytime soon," Rafa giggled, pointing ahead. "Look!"

Everyone watched as two cops grabbed the cardinal and chucked him in the backseat of a wagon.

"I'm telling you, they're heretics!" Zerrus yelled. "They stink in God's nostrils and must be destroyed!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge," one cop said. "Wait and see what he says about your assault charges."

"Sorry he caused you trouble, fellas," the second cop said, addressing Ramza and company as he munched a donut. "This country isn't as tied in with the church as other places, but we've certainly got our share of right-wing fanatics that take orders from the main church in Ivalice. Have a nice day."

"Ivalice?" Rafa asked. "But we're so far away from Ivalice. How did that cardinal know who we were?"

"I bet the church has spies out looking for us all over the place," Malak grumbled. "It's not a pleasant feeling, being hunted..."

"Whatever," Agrias said. "If they come, I'll stomp them all out! They're gonna pay for what they did to me and..."

"Agrias, calm down," Ramza said. "We know how upset you are about Ovelia. We all are."

"Argh..." Agrias growled, sheathing her sword crossly. "It just makes my blood boil to think that she trusted that snake more than her real friends like you and me, Ramza. I just wanna..."

"There they are! Over there!"

"Now what?!" Mustadio asked as an arrow whizzed past his face. Everyone whipped around to see the remaining monks standing behind them, backed up by some church knights and archers that had just appeared.

"Get 'em, boys!" the lead monk ordered.

"Uh-oh," Ramza said quickly, and the five adventurers took off down the street.

"Where can we run?" Rafa yelled. "They know this city better than any of us!"

"Psst!"

Ramza looked ahead and saw a hand sticking out from behind a building. It motioned for him to follow it into a dark alley. "Guys, this way!" he yelled, pretty much turning on a dime and leaping into wherever the hand was.

"Wait up, Ramza!" Rafa shouted as she and Malak hopped in as well.

"Come on, nerd boy!" Agrias shouted, yanking Mustadio by the arm and leaping in. The church troops stopped where they had jumped and looked in. The alley was deserted.

"Where'd they go?!" one asked.

"I dunno," another said. "Let's try this way!"

The troops took off down the alley, unaware that Ramza and company had escaped to the second story window of someone's flat.

"Are you all OK?" Ramza asked as he watched his friends gasp and wheeze on the floor.

"I'm... OK..." Rafa panted.

"Never better..." Malak grumbled.

"That was great!" Agrias laughed. "What a workout."

"Remind me not to have you as an exercise coach," Mustadio muttered as he got up.

Ramza then turned to the person who had helped them. "Thanks a lot. Who are you?"

The young man had long, blonde hair and he wore a strange disc-shaped, puffy, feathered hat that didn't go with his green and purple robes. He carried a wooden lute with three strings. His eyes were expressive and friendly, as was his smile. "Glad I could help you guys out," he said. "I'm Cinna Garnomm, Zeratul's most persistent bard. I saw you guys pound on those church dudes like it was nobody's business!"

"'Dudes?'..." Agrias asked.

"It's new-age lingo," Cinna laughed. "I'll try not to overuse it. Anyway, I heard you guys were in the neighborhood, so I came to check out Ivalice's premier unsung heroes!"

"Woah, woah, woah, woah," Mustadio said, putting his hand up. "Back up. You 'heard' about us? Who from?"

"Ah ha ha," Cinna laughed. "Listen, my friends. I was on a trip to Ivalice a while ago, and I saw you dudes go into that monastery... what was it called again? Orbonne? Ah, whatever. Anyway, I heard some folks speak real highly of ya and so I thought you guys would be real heroes some day." He looked around at them. "Apparently today isn't that day."

"Apparently," Malak agreed coldly.

"Anyway, I came back to Zeratul after whatsisname got crowned to write a ballad for you guys, but I lost my inspiration when they said you were all dead. Then I overheard some soldiers talking just a while ago that you were here, so I came to meet ya! Now I can write my ballads again!"

"Soldiers?" Ramza asked. "What kind of soldiers?"

"I dunno, but they weren't talkin' too nicely," Cinna said. "Frankly, I'd never seen their kind of uniforms before."

"Hmm..." Agrias muttered.

"Anyway, it looks like you've kinda worn out your welcome here in Porta Vista," Cinna said. "Why don't you and your merry band come along with me to my town, Berkana? We can set you up real nice there."

"You're too kind, Cinna," Rafa said. "But we really weren't looking to stay here."

"Yeah, I heard you were supposed to be in Steronn," Cinna said. "Well, if you don't want to see the huge airships that can take people anywhere they want really fast..."

"What?" Mustadio asked, his ears perking up.

"Oh, didn't I mention that? There's a huge airship plant there. They design airships; steam-powered ships that fly through the air really fast. It would get you guys to Steronn faster than a boat."

"Maybe we should go with him," Mustadio said to Ramza, an excited gleam in his eyes.

"Just so you can look at some new toys?" Agrias huffed. "No way. Let's just get outta here, fix the boat and be on our way."

"Leave?" Mustadio asked. "Sheesh. Who's taking the coward's way out now?"

"Grrrgh," Agrias growled, hating to admit that Mustadio had a point.

"Before we do anything, why don't we head back to the ship for the night?" Ramza asked. "It's getting late."

"Mind if I tag along?" Cinna asked. "I can entertain you folks with my music."

"Did anyone ask you to come?!" Agrias asked. "You're so rude."

"Well, he DID just save our lives," Rafa said. "I'm sure one night wouldn't hurt."

"Sure you can come," Ramza said. "You can meet the rest of my friends."

"Fabuloso!" Cinna laughed, plucking a few strings on his lute. "Lead on, dudes!"

"Oh, boy..." Malak sighed.

Later that night, the group built a campfire on the beach and sat out to enjoy the night sky. "Ahh, I've never felt so free in my life!" Meliadoul sighed as she leaned far back and let her hooded head lay in the sand.

"This is a great beach," Lavian agreed. "Very fine sand that doesn't get in your boots."

"Hey, I'm not seasick anymore!" Alicia said. "It's a miracle!"

"So Cinna," Ramza asked the bard as he played a few chords on his lute. "What do you do around here?"

"Well, I'm a traveling bard," Cinna said. "I wander the country looking for songs to write and play for people. Sometimes I get paid in money, other times in food or shelter. I'm a free-spirited fellow. You seem to be too, and that's why I thought it would be cool to hang out with you."

"'Cool?...'" Malak asked.

"Whoops, am I going too fast again?" Cinna chuckled. "Sorry, bud."

"'Bud?!...'" Malak asked again.

"Careful," Agrias chuckled. "Malak's head may explode."

"You play that instrument?" Alma asked as she sat down next to him.

"Sure do," Cinna laughed, striking up a hearty melody and playing it for about 30 seconds. When he was done, everyone applauded.

"I don't know if he can fight, but this fellow would be fun to have around," Orlandu said as he clapped. "A good boost for morale."

"Nobody in my time can play like that," Cloud said. "He's really good."

"So anyway," Ramza said, addressing his friends. "Cinna wants us to accompany him to Berkana, where he says he can get us an airship that can take us to Steronn. Should we accept his offer?"

"I dunno," Meliadoul said, sitting up. "I mean, how long have we known the guy? I've never met him before. Have any of you?"

"How do we know he isn't working for the church or Delita or Ajora or some other bad guy?" Rad asked.

"Well, he DID save our lives from some church cronies just now," Mustadio said. "I, for one, think he's trustworthy."

"Ahh, you just wanna get a look at those 'airships' he was talking about," Agrias growled.

"Oh, SHUT UP!" Mustadio huffed. "I really DO think he's trustworthy!"

"I agree with Mustadio," Rafa said. "Besides, we owe him a debt of gratitude."

"If he comes with us, will he favor us with more music?" Reis asked. "I simply adore his playing."

"You bet I'll play," Cinna said. "I'll play whenever you want!"

"He sure is an energetic fellow," Beowulf said. "Well, sure. Why not?"

"I guess it's settled, then," Ramza said. "Cinna, welcome to the group."

"It's a pleasure, baby!" Cinna chuckled, shaking Ramza's hand warmly.

"'Baby?'" Malak asked.

"It's OK, brother," Rafa said warmly. Malak's face became even more confused.

And so, the fire was put out and everyone turned in for the night.

"Are you gonna stay up any longer, Worker?" Cloud asked as he sat down next to Worker No.8.

"No," Worker No.8 said. "I shall recharge my systems as you do, master." His eyes dulled down, and he slumped over a bit, and mechanical grinding could be heard.

"...He snores," Cloud muttered. "Great. He snores. Cait Sith never snored. Sheesh."

"Airships... Ooh, this sounds like fun!" Mustadio chuckled to himself.

"Shut up and go to bed," Agrias growled from her sleeping bag.

"Hmph," Mustadio grumbled and turned to the other direction. "Don't let the bag bugs bite."

* * *

Ramza couldn't exactly sleep soundly. Sure he felt safe, with his sister on one hand and his friends on the other, but he kept having the strangest dream...

Ramza stood in a rather large chamber. He could hear the sound of rushing water nearby, but he couldn't see it. The chamber was eerily lit by candles that glowed with blue and purple flames. In the center of the room there was a large drawing engraved into the stone floor. The drawing showed 12 animals...

A tiger...

A snake...

A rooster...

A rat...

A dog...

A pig...

A monkey...

A sheep...

A horse...

An ox...

A rabbit...

And a dragon.

After he had walked around the circle, Ramza looked up and saw that he was not alone in the room. A figure sat in the center of the drawing, crouched and in a praying position. By the clothing it wore, Ramza could tell it was a girl. She had long, blonde hair done up in a long tail, and a flowing red cape. Ramza knew who this was.

"...Ovelia?" he asked.

The person seemed to hear him. She whirled around and instantly Ramza's wonderment turned to fear and disgust. Ovelia's body was a rotting corpse with the yellow bones visible and the flesh peeling. One of the eyes dangled from the socket. The stench of mold and death filled the room.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Ramza yelled as the creature gave a horrendous shriek like that of a harpy. She then charged at him with horrible, mutant-like claws, and...

Ramza's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. He was still on the beach, with Alma on his left, Rafa on his right and his other friends all around him.

"What did that mean?..." Ramza asked himself. He had a very hard time getting back to sleep.


	5. The Legend of the Stones

**CHAPTER 5**

**THE LEGEND OF THE STONES**

"Good morning, Ramza!" Mustadio said a he emerged from the boat's quarters and noticed Ramza boiling some water on a campfire. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not exactly," Ramza said. "I had a dream."

"Well, so did Martin Luther King," Mustadio said. "So, what was it about?"

"Excuse me," the network censor said as she appeared. "I would like to point out that the dream that Ramza has had and the dream that Dr. King had are quite different, considering that Martin Luther King's dream was not about a zombie, but rather of a world of racial unity. Furthermore, Dr. King was not even born when this sequence of events took place. Also, I'd like to add-"

Suddenly, Worker No.8 fell on her.

"Thank goodness," Mustadio muttered. "Hey, what was he doing up in that tree, anyway?"

"I sent him up there to get some fruits for breakfast," Ramza said. "He's got good timing. He squashed the censor and the water's ready."

"I have pineapples, master," Worker No.8 beeped.

"Morning, guys,"Alma said as she came out from the boat. She looked like a wreck. Her hair was messed up, and she had some deep circles under her eyes.

"Man, you look like you got kicked in the head by a six-legged centaur," Ramza noted. "What happened?"

"I had a real awful dream," Alma said, cringing at the thought. "Ugh! I can't get that image out of my head!"

"Image?" Ramza asked.

"Some kind of temple with purple and blue candles and a creepy zombie girl in the middle of it,"Alma said. "Yeesh! It still makes me shudder."

"...That's the same dream I had!" Ramza exclaimed. "Tell me, did the zombie have a red robe on?"

"Yes," Alma said. "I felt an air of extreme sorrow and regret in that chamber..."

"That wasn't any ordinary zombie," Ramza said, his eyes narrowing. "It was-"

"Urrrgh..."

Alma, Mustadio, Ramza and Worker No.8 looked up as Agrias stumbled out of the boat, pretty much in the same condition as Alma. "I had a nasty dream," she groaned.

"...A zombie in a creepy temple?" Ramza asked. Agrias was a bit surprised, but she nodded.

"Amazing," Alma said. "Sounds like all three of us had the same dream."

"Err," Mustadio grumbled. "I didn't wanna wreck everyone's appetites, but I had the same dream, too..."

"Man," Ramza said. "This can't just be a coincidence. I wonder if anyone else had the same dream..."

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Everyone turned around and looked as Rafa sprang awake from her place on the beach, shooting sand every which way during her fit. "Zombie! Horrible, horrible zombie! Get it away!!! HELP!!!" she yelled.

"Hey, hey, Rafa," Ramza said, going over and trying to calm her down by putting his hands on her shoulders and shaking her lightly. "Calm down! It was just a dream."

"What... Huh... Ramza?" Rafa asked, snapping out of her terror and looking up at him with waif eyes.

"You had the zombie dream, too?" Ramza asked. Rafa nodded quietly.

"Man, you would not believe the dream I had last night," Cloud said as he walked out of the boat.

"Try us," Agrias growled.

After everyone woke up screaming or messed up or whatnot, it was obvious that everyone but Worker No.8 and Cinna had had a similar dream. "Now I'm certain this isn't coincidental," Ramza said. "I think it was a message or a vision or something."

"What kind of message?" Meliadoul asked crossly. "That we shouldn't read so many horror books?"

"Didn't anyone recognize that zombie besides me?" Ramza asked.

"Well, she sort of looked familiar," Alma agreed. "But I didn't really get a good look at her, considering she was coming right at me and I was trying to run for dear life."

"The robe did look quite similar to another I've seen..." Mustadio said.

"Don't you get it yet, you moron?" Agrias asked Mustadio angrily. "That was Queen Ovelia!"

"WHAT?!" everyone yelled (except for Ramza and Agrias).

"I'm sure it was Ovelia," Ramza said. "The question is, what does it mean and where is that temple, if it even exists?"

"Does anyone remember seeing some weird symbols on the floor of that place?" Alma asked. "I remember seeing a pig."

"I saw a dog," Mustadio said.

"A snake," Cloud added.

"A rabbit," Agrias said.

"A monkey," Meliadoul said.

"An ox," Rafa said.

"A tiger," Malak said.

"A rooster," Rad said.

"A sheep," Beowulf said.

"A horse," Reis added.

"A rat," Orlandu said.

"...And a dragon," Ramza finished. "Strange array of animals, huh?"

"Actually," Cinna said as he stood up. "Those are all twelve beasts of the Zodiac."

"They are NOT!" Agrias said. "There's no horses in the Zodiac. And where's the lion and the scorpion?"

"No, no, not that Zodiac," Cinna said. "The CHINESE Zodiac. It's different. Those are all twelve animals from the Chinese Zodiac."

"So?" Alicia asked.

"Is that important, Mr. Cinna?" Lavian asked.

"Yes," Cinna said. "I remember readin' once about an old, old temple hidden somewhere in this country. It's built around a huge waterfall, and it's called the Phantom Waterfall Temple."

"It sounds like the guy that named it didn't have much imagination," Malak said.

"What's so special about it?" Mustadio asked. "What does this temple have to do with the Chinese Zodiac?"

"I'll tell you," Cinna said. "A long, long time ago, some entity scattered twelve mystical Zodiac stones all over this country-"

"Hold on a minute," Agrias stopped Cinna. "That happened in Ivalice. Oh, wait. You mean the Chinese Zodiac again, right?"

"Yeah," Cinna said. "Anyway, that's about the time that the temple was constructed... at least in theory. No one's ever seen the temple."

"Well, it would be like that, considering it's kind of legendary," Cloud muttered.

"The twelve Chinese Zodiac stones then transformed into huge, mechanical beasts," Cinna continued. "No one knows if they're good or bad, but they are the guardians of that temple. If they are defeated, the stones can be reclaimed."

"And what do these stones do?" Meliadoul asked. "Tell me they don't turn people into monsters."

"No," Cinna said as he shook his head. "Each stone has a special power, but the most amazing power can only be unleashed once all 12 are together and inside the Phantom Waterfall Temple."

"What would that power be, exactly?" Alma asked. "I don't mean to offend you, but you're very vague sometimes."

"The stones have the power..." Cinna breathed. "...To resurrect the dead."

"What?!" Mustadio asked. "Impossible! You can't revive a dead person once the count goes down to 0."

"The stones can," Cinna said. "...Or so they say. The stones will revive the person that the gatherers of the stones wish for, but before the stones will revive that person, one of the gatherers must defeat a horrific, living corpse of the person they want resurrected!"

"Ewww," Rafa groaned, sticking out her little pink tongue.

"The stones obviously have a sick sense of humor," Malak groused.

"Perhaps this dream has more significance than I thought," Ramza said.

"Spirits have been known to communicate through dreams," Orlandu said. "Perhaps this dream was a message from Ovelia."

"What kind of message?" Rad asked. "Does she want to play tic-tac-toe on our chests with those nasty claws of hers?!"

"I don't know, but perhaps we should find out," Ramza said, standing up. "Let's find that temple and check it out, even if it's just a legend about the whole 'revive the dead' story."

"Well, if there's any chance we can get her majesty back," Agrias said as she stood up and patted her sword. "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Ramza!"

"As will I," Rafa said. "Lead the way, Ramza."

"We're all behind you," Mustadio added.

"You're gonna need a guide for this country," Cinna said, spinning around and striking a pose. "Stick with me and you won't get lost, baby!"

"Riiight," Alma muttered. "Let's go, Ramza. Let's find that temple."

"If the legends are true..." Malak said. "We can give Ovelia a second chance."

"At life AND at love," Agrias said. "Let's hope she remembers what happened. Then she can fill us in."

"You guys are getting a bit too hopeful," Meliadoul said. "This could be nothing more than a legend cooked up by some crazy guy."

"What? Don't you believe in magic?" Cinna asked Meliadoul jokingly. She snorted and turned away from him. Cinna shrugged and walked back to Ramza.

"Everyone thought Ajora's powers were a legend, too," Alicia suggested.

"...And we all know how that turned out," Lavian added.

"Whatever we find, I'm itching for an adventure," Beowulf said. "Let's go for it, Ramza!"

"If you're going, I'm going too," Reis said, locking arms with Beowulf.

"Don't even THINK of leaving me behind," Cloud chuckled. "I've still got to find a way back home, ya know."

"All right, I think it's settled," Orlandu laughed heartily. "We're all going to the Phantom Waterfall Temple!"

"YEAH!!!" everyone shouted, their fists all rising into the air in a sign of pure teamwork.

"Err, one question..." Rad asked. "Where IS the temple?"

Everyone fell over and sweatdropped.

* * *

Captain Flite marched through the hall towards King Delita's room. He had some very good news, indeed. King Delita was sure to be pleased.

"Sir, I have good news," Flite announced as he flung the door open. His eyes quickly lowered and a red tinge highlighted his stony face. "I beg your pardon, sir."

"Ummm, Delita, who's he?..."

"Never mind, Karen. Just stay here. I'll be back in a minute." Delita quickly added some underpants and a dressing gown to his exterior and got out of the bed. "What is it, captain?" he asked, very crossly.

"Our spies have found Ramza. He's in Zeratul."

Delita's frown went upside down. "Zeratul? Excellent!" he laughed. "Well, we've no time to lose, have we? Captain, get my army together. We're going on a little trip."

"At once, sir!" Flite said, and took off down the hallway.

Delita glanced back at the bed. "That means you too, Knight Karen," he said.

"Err, yes sir!" Karen said, grabbing her brassiere and other articles of clothing and dressing quickly.

Delita turned back to the door and grinned cruelly. "So Ramza, you think you can get away from me?" he asked quietly. "We may have been friends once, but now you're just an eyesore... You're going down."


	6. Concordia Plains

**CHAPTER 6**

**CONCORDIA PLAINS**

"So, where do we go first?" Ramza asked Cinna. "You're our guide."

"Well, I'd think we should go to Nazdrubia and inquire about the Chinese Zodiac stones at the local jeweler's," Cinna said. "Old Cress Woodrow is a friend of mine, and he's quite learned in folklore."

"I guess that's our first stop, then," Mustadio said. "Let's go!"

"Hold on," Agrias said. "Nazdrubia can't be so close. It's not door-to-door with Porta Vista, is it?"

"No," Cinna said. "We have to cross the vast Concordia Plains to get to it. Of course, if we follow the road it'll only take two days' time."

"We'd better get moving, then," Meliadoul said, looking upwards and trying to tell where the sun was in the sky. "It's about... 10 in the morning, so we'd better hustle."

"One other thing," Cinna said. "There've been a lot of reports of bandits and murderers out there, so keep on your toes."

"Of course," Orlandu said, fingering his Excalibur sword, which he'd held for years.

"I just hope we can get there sooner than two days," Rad said. "I want to see more of those interesting towns and their structures."

"I'm afraid some of our cities in Zeratul aren't as flashy as Porta Vista," Cinna said. "Nazdrubia is actually more closer to one of Ivalice's cities."

"Then we'll have some familiarity," Ramza said. "Come on, guys!"

And so, the 16 friends set out through Porta Vista and out its western gate onto the huge grassland expanse known as the Concordia Plains. The field stretched out as far as the eye can see, the mildly fresh scent of dew and toadstools hanging in the air. There was a light morning mist around it that gave the plains an air of mystery.

"Suddenly, I wish cars had been invented," Cloud groaned.

"What?" Ramza asked.

"Oh, never mind..." Cloud grumbled. "Let's just keep up a good pace."

The party began to walk at a steady pace. Ramza walked in front, followed by Agrias, Alma, Rafa and the rest of the party. Cinna lingered a bit until he caught up with Meliadoul

"Say, I don't think I got your name," Cinna said.

"..." Meliadoul said, eying Cinna with a cold gaze.

"Oh, come on!" Cinna chuckled. "I'm sure you have a name!"

"...It's Meliadoul Tingel," Meliadoul muttered, hoping that disclosing the information would get Cinna to leave her alone.

"Meliadoul?" Cinna asked. "Weird name. Hey, you know what you need? A nickname, that's what!"

"(Go away...)" Meliadoul thought.

"How about Mel? Mel works, right?" Cinna asked.

"Listen," Meliadoul said, trying to contain her annoyance. "I really like to walk quietly and organize my thoughts, so if you don't mind..."

"Oh, sorry," Cinna said. "I'll leave you alone, Mel." He walked a little faster and struck up a conversation with Beowulf.

Meliadoul sighed with relief. "(Alone at last...)" she sighed. "(Man, he's a pain... Why did Ramza let him come along?...)"

* * *

"How is the military training going?" Delita asked as he walked in on Captain Flite as he drilled a band of new recruits.

"Well, the soldiers we have are well-disciplined and totally loyal," Flite said. "However, I must say I have some reservations about your plans, sir..."

"I'm all ears," Delita growled, not enjoying the thought of someone disagreeing with his ideas.

"Zeratul is far more advanced than our country," Flite said. "They have weapons that we might not even comprehend. It's kind of dangerous to take the entire Ivalice army down there. We don't know HOW strong they are."

"You have a point," Delita said, grinning coldly. "That's why I have another batch of soldiers being trained..."

"I was not informed of this," Flite said, his left eyebrow raising. "Where did you find them?"

"Oh... around," Delita chuckled. "Would you care to see them, captain?"

"I guess I could, sir," Flite said. "Everyone, ten minute rest break!"

"Oh, and have Archer Penelope come to my quarters this evening," Delita called back to the soldiers as he and Flite left. Archer Penelope blushed deeply.

Flite grumbled to himself. It was true that he was grateful to have such a mighty position- commanding the king's personal army was nothing to shake a stick at- but he was disgusted with the way Delita treated the troops. He always looked down upon the male recruits, and what he did with the girls... It was too vile to mention. Flite believed that all soldiers should be treated with respect, and he found Delita's morals questionable, especially when he went down to the prison cell and heard young Olan Durai's ranting about how Delita became king and then eliminated Ovelia after letting Ramza Beoulve do all the dirty work for him. Flite was absolutely loyal to Delita, but he did have his beliefs that all was not well in paradise.

Captain Flite had began his military training at the Gariland Academy, and was a classmate of Agrias Oaks. The two of them trained together for quite some time until Agrias graduated and was sent to protect Ovelia. Flite graduated a year later and enlisted in the Nanten army. He showed excellent strength and valor as a common soldier, so he was quickly promoted to a lieutenant. After Delita assumed control of the Nanten, Flite battled even harder to protect Ovelia and the realm. Delita was impressed with Flite and promoted him to the esteemed rank of Captain of the Nanten, which was similar to a five-star general. Flite worked hard to keep this position and to never let his leader down. However, this turn of events sparked questions in his mind.

"Here we are," Delita said, opening a door. A wave of heat and the stench of unknown chemicals washed over both of them as they entered the room. When Flite saw what was before him, a heavy feeling of disgust engulfed his stomach.

They were in a primitive genetics lab, with all sorts of pots and vials of liquids and goos hanging from wooden shelves placed in several areas. Near the end of the room there was a gigantic tub filled to the brim with brown slop. It was buried in the ground so that the top could be seen from eye level. A cranky-looking doctor with wild, white hair came hobbling out from another room. "Ah, your majesty," he said, stooping into a sort of bow. "Your presence honors me."

"Likewise, Dr. Furkkes," Delita said. "Are they done yet?"

"The first specimen should be emerging soon," Furkkes said, motioning to the brown glop. "Just wait... Ah! See it yet?"

Delita, Flite and Furkkes watched as bubbles started to appear on the surface of the gunk. Then a HUGE claw shot up out of it, followed by a large, hairy head with horrible fangs and a ferocious roar.

"What..." Flite gasped. "What are those?!..."

"My new army," Delita said, a look of insane glee appearing on his face.

* * *

"Whew, the mist has finally lifted," Ramza said as the group trudged along the plains. "Now at least we can see where we're going."

"Ughhhh..." Mustadio groaned as he dragged himself along, struggling to keep up. "I hate hiking."

"You should exercise more," Agrias huffed. "That way you wouldn't be such a pushover."

"My brain is more important than my body," Mustadio growled. "As long as I have that, I am still useful."

"Tchh. Riiight," Agrias muttered.

"You know, I've heard lots of strange things appear on plains all over the world," Alicia said.

"Like those crop circles at Mandalia last month, I know..." Lavian said. "It's creepy."

"Give it a rest," Meliadoul muttered. "There's no such things as aliens."

"Oh, really?" Cinna asked Meliadoul, who rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. The minstrel was really getting on her nerves.

"Anything's possible in this world," Beowulf said. "I've seen plenty of strange things in my time."

_(Flashback)_

"Ahh, time for a nice, relaxing lunch," Beowulf said as he sat down for a picnic with Reis.

"Yum, this sandwich is great!" Reis said as she happily munched her lunch. "How do you cook so great?"

"It's all in the wrist," Beowulf said. Suddenly, he grew very quiet. "...There's something odd about this swamp," he said. "I feel like-"

"Feel like what?"

Beowulf whirled around, his sword drawn. A creepy little shriveled green puppet thing was standing behind him. "...Like I'm being watched," Beowulf finished.

"Away put your weapon! I mean you no harm," the little thing said. "I am wondering... Why are you here?"

"Oh, boy..." Beowulf muttered. Suddenly, the little green guy hopped into his lunch bag. "HEY!!!" Beowulf yelled.

"This is weird," Reis said. The little guy came out and chewed on a sandwich he had snatched. He spit it out.

"Uchh!" he said. "How you get so big eating food of this kind?!"

_(End Flashback)_

"...Beowulf, you scare me sometimes," Cloud muttered.

"We're gonna get letters," the network censor reprimanded.

"Oh, who asked you?" Beowulf asked. "Cow Drop!"

A cow dropped out of the sky and squashed the censor.

Ramza just rolled his eyes.

The group continued to hike for a while until night fell. "We may as well bed down for the night," Cinna said. "Those bandits usually only show up at night."

"I'll go look for some firewood," Alma said, getting up and walking off up a hill.

"I wonder what it's like to have an ancient deity posses your body?" Malak asked.

"Not a good feeling, I'd assume," Orlandu muttered as he gnawed on a slab of beef he had.

"Poor Alma..." Ramza said. "Losing her best friend to... well..."

"Ramza, don't tell me you've got sympathy for that jerk, too?!" Agrias asked. "He's trying to kill you! He tried to knock off Orlandu, and then Ovelia died mysteriously after he married her!"

"Are you suggesting..." Rafa started to ask.

"Of COURSE I'm suggesting it!" Agrias huffed. She then turned back to Ramza. "How can you be soft on him, Ramza?!"

"He's been my best friend for years," Ramza said. "That isn't something that's easy to forget."

'I just don't understand you sometimes, Ramza," Agrias muttered, crossing her arms and sitting down.

"Hey, if it was Ovelia leading the charge against you, what would you do?" Mustadio asked.

"That's different," Agrias snapped. "Ovelia wasn't a lying, cheating, manipulative jerk."

"Nope, she was just stupid," Meliadoul said.

"I believe the word you're looking for is 'ill-informed,'" Rad said.

"Whatever," Meliadoul retorted.

"Boy, you have a way with words, don't you, Mel?" Cinna asked.

"Shut up," Meliadoul snorted.

"Can we have one night where we don't talk about royal dead people?" Cloud asked. "It's depressing."

"OK, we'll talk about something else..." Ramza said. "...Anyone read any good books lately?"

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!"

"That was your sister," Rafa said, standing up. "She's in trouble!"

"Alma!!!" Ramza yelled as he charged up the hill from where the scream was coming.

"He may need help if there are bandits involved," Orlandu said, drawing his sword and following Ramza.

"Wait up!" Rad shouted as he chased after the two.

"I ought to help, too," Cloud said as he drew his Materia Blade and went after them.

Alma was surrounded by 3 thieves and 2 chemists. "C'mon, sweetie, just fork over your Gil," the lead chemist said as he encased Alma in a head lock.

"No way!" Alma retorted. "You picked the wrong helpless little girl to mess with!... Ewww, you need to use deodorant!"

"She's right on both counts," Ramza said as he appeared on the hill, his sword drawn. "Leave my sister alone."

"Oh, gee, big bro comin' to the rescue?" the leader laughed. "Right. We can still squish you both!"

Orlandu, Rad and Cloud then appeared, their weapons drawn. "Charrrrge!" Ramza yelled.

The four battlers threw themselves at the thieves and started clashing swords with them.

"C'mon, spikey-head! C'mon!" one thief taunted Cloud. "Like you can hit me when I'm way over here! NYAH NYAH!"

"You've never seen this before, have you?" Cloud asked. "BLADE BEAM!!!" Cloud shot a blast of energy over the ground, which sent the bandit flying.

"Hey old-timer," a second thief mocked Orlandu. "Come and get me! Try an' hit me with your cane!"

"Fine," Orlandu shrugged. "Of course, you probably don't know my cane is Excalibur! HELLCRY PUNCH!!!" Orlandu's blast blew the thief sky high, and all his equipment flew off in the process.

The third thief clashed with Rad, who was being driven backwards. "Ha! You're just a rookie, kid. What can you do to me?"

"Plenty!" Rad said, picking up a medium-sized stone and hurling it. It smacked the bandit in the sweet spot and he crumpled over, cussing in a higher octave than his usual voice.

"Keep away from my sister!" Ramza shouted. He slashed the gun away from a chemist and then used a nasty Dash attack. The chemist rolled off down the hill.

The leader pulled out his gun and held it next to Alma's head. "You want me to pull this?" he growled. "I'll do it if I have to!"

"Oh, you won't have to. Trust me!" Alma huffed as she flipped the chemist over her shoulder. He went crashing down into the grass. She stood over him, smacking him over and over with her Gold Staff.

"Ow! OW! That hurts! RETREAT!" the leader shouted, and the five ruffians ran off into the darkness.

"Good riddance!" Alma huffed, slapping her palms together. "Ah, well. I got firewood! Let's cook something!"

And so, the group had a nice dinner cooked up, courtesy of Beowulf and Lavian. "You did good, Rad," Ramza said. "I never thought of such an effective strategy as what you did."

"Some people throw rocks to kill," Rad said. "I throw 'em to really, really hurt bad."

"Remind me not to insult you in a quarry," Mustadio chuckled.

"Whatever. It wouldn't work against me," Agrias muttered.

"Ahh, I have a better strategy for dealing with girls," Rad chuckled. "I won't go into detail."

"Please don't," Meliadoul grumbled.

"Let's just eat now, OK?" Cinna laughed. "You guys are all pretty cool."

"Again with the 'cool' stuff?" Malak asked. "You really are confusing me."

"Sorry," Cinna apologized as he bit into his meal.

"Sorry we didn't get there sooner, Alma," Ramza said. "But you fought a lot better than I thought you would."

Alma giggled. "Thanks, big brother," she chuckled.

"Mmm, this rabbit is good," Reis said as she gnawed on the meat. "Where'd you find such delicious rabbit, Beowulf?"

"Snowball, time for dinner!" the little girl said as she approached her rabbit's cage with a carrot. The cage was empty. "...Snowball?" the girl asked, looking around.


	7. Nazdrubia Mines

**CHAPTER 7**

**NAZDRUBIA MINES**

"Here we are," Cinna announced as the party walked over the last hill. "Nazdrubia!"

"Ummm..." Alma said as she looked at the place. "Are you sure this is an inhabited town, Cinna?"

The place certainly did look like a ghost town from the old west. Empty Chocobo stalls were positioned outside the town saloon, and all the doors were the small kind that you push in as you enter. The windows in most of the houses were broken, and dust blew about in the slightest breeze.

"Say, what gives?" Cinna asked. "Usually this place is bustling with all sorts of folks, but today, everyone's inside..."

"Aaahhh!!!"

Everyone turned to see a man running through the street, being chased by a fanged tumbleweed.

"What the?!" Ramza asked aloud.

"Maybe that's the reason everyone's inside," Rafa noted.

"Let's go to the inn and see if we can get any information," Agrias suggested.

The inn was also the bar, so they paid for rooms and then sat down to have some drinks. No one else was in the bar.

"So, what's the deal with this town?" Mustadio asked. "There's no one outside."

"Ain't no one brave enough to venture outside, pardner," the barkeep said. "This town's under attack from weird monsters comin' outta the mines t' th' south. Monster tumbleweeds an' huge horney toads an'..."

"The mines, huh?" Beowulf asked. "I'll go and check it out."

"Hey, you can't just leave on your own," Reis objected. "You're going to need help."

"She's right, Beowulf," Ramza said. "I'll come along with you."

"Don't even THINK of leaving without me, Beowulf!" Reis admonished Beowulf.

"Sorry, sweetie," Beowulf chuckled embarrassedly.

"I've been in those mines before," Cinna said. "I'll tag along."

"I shall accompany the master," Worker No.8 said.

"That was a pretty quick party assessment," Mustadio remarked.

"We'll wait for you guys here," Agrias said. "Just don't bite off more than you can chew."

"Be careful, Ramza," Rafa cautioned. "Who knows what's down there."

"You bet," Ramza said. "Let's go!"

* * *

After about half an hour of walking (and several encounters with evil tumbleweeds and horney toads) the party reached the gaping entrance to the mines.

"Man, those tumbleweeds were pretty vicious," Beowulf said. "I must have been bitten about 12 times.

"And those horney toads were..." Ramza said, motioning to the goo that covered his right leg. "Well, what can I say?"

"Ick," Reis groaned.

"Huh," Cinna remarked. "I've been here before, but it feels kinda different in there right now... Something just doesn't feel right."

"Then we'll just have to MAKE it feel right!" Beowulf chuckled, drawing his blade. "Come on!"

"I hate it when he gets all charged up like this," Reis muttered. "Oh, well."

The five entered the gaping mines. All was very quiet. The mines were lit by small lanterns on a line on the ceiling. The gave off an eerie glow.

"Kind of reminds me of Murond Death City," Ramza muttered. "It's so creepy, I might think Balk could jump out from behind the wall any second..."

"Stop it," Reis squeaked. "You're making me nervous!"

"I'm sure this place isn't as bad as that city," Beowulf said. "I mean, how could things go-"

"Master!"

Worker No.8 grabbed Beowulf just before he walked into a bottomless pit. "...Wrong?" Beowulf finished as he sweatdropped.

"How're we gonna get across this hole?" Ramza asked.

"Relax," Cinna said. "I've got an idea. Worker No.8, punch the wall."

"Yes, sir," Worker No.8 said as he planted his fist into the rock with a huge CRUSH. The whole mine shook, and a huge slab of ceiling fell down and covered the hole.

"Piece of cake!" Cinna chuckled, walking over the hole.

"This guy's pretty resourceful," Reis noted.

"It pays to know physics," Cinna chuckled.

A few more meters into the mine, they came across a rather large room. It was just a regular mine shaft. but someone had recently altered it a bit. Candles that glowed with blue and purple flame were planted on either side of the room, and a huge circle was in the center. It had a picture of some animal on it, but no one could make it out presently because the lighting was so weak. "Oh, boy..." Ramza said.

"Could this be that Phantom Waterfall Temple you were talking about?" Beowulf asked Cinna.

"No way!" Cinna said. "First of all, where's the waterfall?"

Suddenly, the group heard coarse laughter coming from the other side of the room.

"So, you're all here... Good... (SNORT)..."

"Who goes there?" Worker No.8 said, readying himself to battle.

Mechanical gears could be heard starting to move. A shadowy figure appeared on the circle. Its eyes glowed red.

"Nice to meet you, Ramza Beoulve... (SNORT)... I'll enjoy crushing you."

"Who are you?" Ramza asked. The candles suddenly began to glow brighter. Everyone could now see that the creature drawn into the circle design on the floor was a pig, and standing in the middle of the room was a large, muscular, biped, pig-like monster. He was all shiny, and parts of him whirred and clicked when he moved.

"I am one of the twelve Mechannites that guard the Phantom Waterfall Temple," the figure said. "I carry the Chinese Zodiac Stone of the Pig within me... You may address me as Hell Hog... (SNORT)... But the time for talk has passed. Prepare to die!"

Hell Hog suddenly grabbed a huge axe out of thin air and charged at the group.

"Watch out!!!" Reis yelled as everyone jumped out of the way.

"Dude, that is one whacked-out oinker!" Cinna said.

"Your language never ceases to befuddle me, Cinna," Reis muttered.

"I guess we'll have to fight," Ramza said. "He's got one of the twelve stones we need."

"BOAR CARVER!!!" Hell Hog roared as his axe flew straight towards Beowulf's head.

"Ice Bracelet!!" Reis shouted, hitting the axe and deflecting it with a cold blast of ice from her mouth.

"Somebody had a Denteine Ice today," Beowulf chuckled.

"Take this!" Ramza shouted as he sank his sword into Hell Hog's back. A lot of sparks flew out, and Hell Hog roared in pain.

"Foolish mortal! (SNORT!)" he roared. "How DARE you attack me!"

Ramza just barely dodged the slash of Hell Hog's axe when he fell backwards onto the ground and rolled out of the way.

"Don't Move Sword!" Beowulf shouted as he cast a spell on Hell Hog to prevent him from moving. Hell Hog just shrugged it off and charged again.

"He's crazy!" Reis shouted as she leaped out of the way.

"You'll all die here in there mines!" Hell Hog yelled.

"Attack Mode Alpha!"

Hell Hog was surprised when Worker No.8 appeared and grabbed him by the waist and lifted him up. "Hey, let me go! (SQUEEEEAL!!!) That's not fair! (SQUEEEEAL!!!)" he cried.

"I have him, master," Worker No.8 announced. "Please dispose of him now!"

"I'll handle this," Cinna said. He cracked his fingers and started strumming on his lute. "Rumba!"

"What good will that do?" Beowulf asked.

After about 5 seconds of playing a strange tune, A barrage of rainbow-colored notes appeared and flew straight into Hell Hog.

"SQUEEEEEEAAAALLLLL!!!!" Hell Hog squealed. "You little pests! Well, it doesn't matter... You'll never get to the temple! SQEEEEEEALLLL!!!"

Worker No.8 let go and moved away as Hell Hog exploded into tiny bits. Shrapnel flew everywhere. After a few moments, the smoke cleared, and a pink orb was sitting in the place that Hell Hog used to be. Ramza went over and picked it up.

"This is a Chinese Zodiac stone?" he asked.

"Yep," Cinna said. "That's the Pig Stone. That stone has the power to let the user create massive earthquakes just by stomping the ground."

"You seem to know a lot about this, Cinna," Ramza said.

"It's all in this book," Cinna said. "Magical Rocks of Zeratul. Wanna read it?"

"Err, not right now," Ramza said.

Suddenly, the candles went out, the room shimmered, and the group was back in the regular mine shaft.

"I guess that room was just an illusion," Beowulf said.

"Let's go back to Nazdrubia now," Reis said.

"No problem," Cinna said, pointing to an unused mine cart. "We'll take the express route."

Pretty soon, the whole gang was whizzing through the tunnel in the mine cart. "WHEEEEE!!!!" Reis shouted gleefully.

"Now THIS is what I call a ride," Ramza said. "Mustadio's gonna be so jealous that he missed this!"

"We'll have to fill him in when we get back!" Cinna said. "Come on! I see a light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Isn't that a bad thing?" Beowulf asked.

Just then the car became disconnected from the track and it flipped over, sending all its occupants flying into the desert sky. They all came down pretty hard.

"Owww..." Ramza groaned. "I've got sand in my eyes, and I'm not even asleep..."

"Thanks for breaking my fall," Reis said to Beowulf.

"Thanks for breaking my spine," Beowulf muttered to Reis.

"I'm OK," Cinna said, brushing himself off. "Where's Worker No.8?"

"Geronimooooo!!!"

Everyone looked up as Worker No.8 crashed into a cactus. "Warning," it said. "Small, spiny objects have penetrated rump shields. Activating pain program. Ow. Ow."

Everyone threw their heads back and laughed.


	8. Nazdrubia

**CHAPTER 8**

**NAZDRUBIA**

"So, one of those guardians Cinna told of was causing the trouble," Agrias said as she looked at the pink stone Ramza had placed on the table.

"That's one of the twelve components to unlocking the secrets of that temple?" Mustadio asked.

"We ought to be on the lookout for the others," Orlandu cautioned. "If they can sense that one of their own has been defeated, they'll surely come after us."

"Oh, yeah," Cinna said. "Yo Ramza, can I see that rock for a while? Come with me to the jeweler's. Old Man Cress can tell you a lot more about it and the legend than I can."

"All right," Ramza said.

"We'll wait for you," Rafa said. "We'll just stroll around town or something."

"(Oh, come on,)" Malak muttered in Rafa's ear. "(I know where you wanna be. Go ahead.)"

"All right, the rest of us will be hanging around town," Agrias said. "If you'll excuse me, I have to find someplace quiet to practice my sword play."

Cinna, Ramza and Rafa headed out the door for the jewelers. "Why're you coming with us again?" Ramza asked.

"What difference does it make?" Rafa asked in a defensive tone. "I'd like to see the pretty jewels."

"All right..." Ramza said, his right eyebrow raised.

* * *

Delita grinned cruelly as he observed this horrible new mutated creature that Dr. Furkkes had brought to life. "What a fascinating creature," he said.

"I thought you'd like it, master," Furkkes said. "I just took blood samples from the battlegrounds where that young man fought the Lucavi demons and combined it with some lava rock from the Bervenia Volcano and let it grow on its own. They can take more punishment and live longer than any human beings. This new army- let's call them 'Lucavites'- is totally loyal to you."

"Really?" Delita asked, walking around the creature that stood before him, snarling and eying him ferociously. "Tell me," Delita said. "Whom do you serve?"

"De...li...ta..." the creature growled in almost animalistic tones. Delita smiled.

"Excellent work, Dr. Furkkes," he said. "Keep it up. These will be my backup for my standard army."

"Of course, master..." Furkkes chuckled and turned back to his test tubes.

* * *

"Ah, here we are," Cinna said as he stopped in front of a small building with the words NAZDRUBIA JEWELERS stamped on its window. "Cress is a bit eccentric, but harmless."

"I'm sure he's really nice," Rafa said.

"Cress was in the 50 Year war in Ivalice," Cinna explained. "He was an Oracle under Balbanes's command. Unfortunately, some Monk knocked him in the head pretty bad and he started claiming he saw demons and devils and weird things, so they discharged him and sent him home. He's been like a second father to me."

"I see..." Ramza said.

Cinna opened the door, which made a bell ring. "Cress?..." Cinna asked.

Suddenly, a wiry man leaped out from the back room of the store, wearing a witch-doctor mask and shaking maracas at them. "Booga booga!" he yelled. "Get ye back, demons! There's too much good juju for you to enter without boiling your brains!"

"Well, you got the eccentric part right," Rafa gulped.

"Chill, Cress," Cinna said. "It's just me and some friends."

"Cinna?..." Cress looked at him for a second. "Oh, CINNA!" He took off the mask and revealed his bushy white hair and moustache. "How long's it been, boy?"

"Three years, bubba," Cinna said as the two slapped palms. "How ya doin'?"

"Well, business has been kinda slow," Cress admitted. "Only demons're coming in here nowadays, but I've scared them all off so far! Eh heh heh!"

Ramza and Rafa looked at each other with expressions of confusion and humor.

"Anyway, Cress," Cinna said. "My friends and I are at a crossroads as to which we need to solicit your expertise in local folklore."

"Huh?" Cress asked.

"...We need your help with this stone," Cinna paraphrased, showing Cress the pink rock.

Cress's eyes lit up. "WHERE did you get that?!" he asked. "Do you know how rare that sucker is?!"

"I'm beginning to get an idea," Ramza said.

Later that hour, Cress had the stone under a huge magnifying glass as he turned it around and observed its many features. "Yep," he finally said. "This is one of those legendary Chinese Zodiac Stones that Ajora placed on this country years and years ago."

"Ajora?!" Ramza and Rafa asked suddenly.

"You know of Ajora?" Cress asked. "Of course you do; you come from Ivalice where the huge church of Ajora is stationed."

"Well, that and he tried to take over my sister's body," Ramza said. "But that's just a little side note."

"Anyway, the legend goes like this," Cress said. "Ajora scattered the twelve stones all across Zeratul, and they transformed into mechanical beasts sworn to protect him and the Phantom Waterfall Temple, which Ajora designed and had built..."

"...Mechannites..." Ramza said.

"Yeah, that's their name," Cress said. "Anyway, each stone has special properties, and when all twelve are placed together..."

"They have the power to resurrect the dead," Rafa finished. "Cinna told us that already."

"Yes, but there's one essential part he left out," Cress said. "Ajora's real purpose in creating the stones was to-"

Suddenly, a gunshot was heard outside the jeweler's. "Crap," Ramza said. "Sounds like Mustadio. We have to go!"

Ramza and Rafa ran out the door. Cinna was about to leave when Cress stopped him. "Keep them kids outta trouble, hear?" he asked.

"You got it, Cress," Cinna said. "By the way, have you got that thing I asked for?"

"Yep," Cress said, handing Cinna back the stone and a strange, metal object. "Take this and we can keep in contact. Don't forget to send me the piece when it's finished!"

"Thanks, Cress," Cinna said, and dashed out the door.

Ramza, Rafa and Cinna ran outside to see a rough scene. Mustadio and the others stood outside of the saloon, Mustadio's gun smoking. There was a man dressed in clerical robes and a group of cowboys standing around him, also with shotguns.

"That's as far as you heretics go, Ah reckon," the clerical man said.

"High Priest Nodyl, what d'ya want us t'do?" one cowboy asked.

"What else?" Nodyl sneered. "Kill 'em, buckaroo."

"Crap," Mustadio growled. "They've all got guns. This's gonna be tough..."

"What do you mean?" Agrias asked, a wry smile appearing on her face. "We'll take 'em all on!"

"Go, mah Desperados!" Nydol yelled. "Irvine, Vincent, lead the rest of your fellow gunmen into battle!"

The eight or so cowboys attacked, their guns firing at the group.

"Twin Lightning Stab!" Orlandu and Agrias shouted at the same time, firing a strong blast of electricity through the cowboys and knocking them over. They just got back up and kept shooting.

"Guys!" Ramza shouted.

"Help, Ramza!" Mustadio shouted.

"Oh, shut up," Agrias said. "We can take 'em ourselves!" Just then a bullet embedded itself in her breastplate and knocked her down. "Errr... On second thought, we could use a hand," she said after she had recovered from the shock.

"Let's see just what this stone can do!" Rafa said, taking hold of the stone and stomping her foot into the sand. A huge shockwave shot over the ground and bowled over about half of the cowboys.

"...Wow..." Cinna said. "Well, time for us to help! Blues!" He drew out his lute and began to play a screechy melody. All the enemies grabbed their ears and howled in pain.

"Man, can that guy play," Rad said. "Uh-oh, here they come again!"

"Captain, perhaps we should retreat," Lavian said to Agrias.

"They're pretty persistent," Alicia noted.

"Fine," Agrias said. "Retreat!"

"First time we've agreed in a long time," Mustadio said, firing a few more rounds as he ran.

"Hurry! There's more coming!" Ramza yelled as he ran.

The group was getting to the outskirts of town. Once outside the gates, the priest would have no jurisdiction.

"Guwwaaa!!!" Rad yelled as he tripped and fell, accidentally dragging down Alicia and Lavian with him. They lay in a confused heap.

"Rad!!!" Ramza yelled back.

"Never mind him, let's get outta here!" Malak yelled, grabbing Rafa by the wrist and charging out the gate.

Soon, the rest of the group was outside of town. "Oh, no..." Alma said. "Poor Rad."

"Alicia... Lavian..." Agrias groaned. "What'll happen to 'em now? This is all my fault."

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Rafa suggested in an attempt to console Agrias.

* * *

"These are three o' them heretics, sir," a desperado said as the cowboys dragged Rad, Alicia and Lavian back to Nydol.

"Good work, men," he said. "You guys're gonna suffer fo' goin' up 'ginst the church."

"What're you going to do?" Rad asked. "Burn us at the stake?"

"Naw," Nodyl said. "Ah's a forgivin' man. You'll just work your butts off on the chain gang fer about 30 years."

"Chain gang?!" Lavian asked.

"Thirty years?!" Alicia whimpered.

"Take 'em away!" Nydol said. "An' if yer good, you might get out in 25!"

"Nooo!!" Alicia wailed as they were dragged away.

"Captain Agrias!!!" Lavian shouted.

"Hey, at least we won't be burned at the stake," Rad said, trying to put a positive spin on things.

* * *

"We'd best set out for Konra first thing in the morning," Cinna said. "It's a port city, like Porta Vista."

"But what about Rad, Alicia and Lavian?" Rafa asked.

"There's nothing we can do for them now," Orlandu said. "Poor things."

"We'd better get some sleep," Agrias said, containing her rage. "We'll have to start moving early."

"Are you OK, Agrias?" Mustadio asked.

"I just lost two good soldiers," Agrias growled. "What would YOU think, geek?!"

"Well, uh..." Mustadio started.

"There were like little sisters to me," Agrias muttered, wiping her eyes.

"...Are you crying?" Beowulf asked.

"No, there's sand in my eyes," Agrias said, wiping the stuff that obviously wasn't sand from her face.


	9. Stoic River

**CHAPTER 9**

**STOIC RIVER**

Ramza was dreaming... at least, he hoped he was. He wasn't able to move his eyes or anything, but he could tell that the clothing he was wearing felt quite different from what he had been wearing before he took notice of it. Ramza's clothing was usually rough cotton or leather, but the garment he was dressed in now felt like smooth silk or satin.

He was standing in the ruins of some church. Green grass grew among the ancient stones, and moss grew upon them. Judging by the light, it looked like it was early afternoon, but it was heard to tell considering that the sky was graying up, as if preparing for a light drizzle. A lone blue jay screeched miserably from somewhere.

"What's happening here?..." Ramza asked himself. of course, he couldn't move anything. It seemed like the whole scene was prepared for a certain scenario to occur.

The body Ramza was in leaned on a group of blocks._ I think I'm beginning to understand what Olan tried to tell me about who killed Goltana,_ a girl's voice echoed through Ramza's head.

"What?" Ramza asked. "Who is this? Where am I?"

_I think I know who tried to do it... _the voice said. _...And then he killed off Ramza and my best friend, Alma... Why didn't I see this sooner? I can't believe I thought I loved him..._

"Wait a minute, miss," Ramza said. "I'm certainly not dead, and neither is Alma. Who are you? Where am I?"

"So, there you are..." a voice behind Ramza said. The body Ramza saw out of turned around to see Delita standing among the rocks, holding a bouquet of roses in his arms. "I didn't forget. It's your birthday today, right?"

_How dare he!..._ Ramza heard the girl's voice hiss. Suddenly the body rushed forward and grabbed Delita by the sides of his cape with its arms.

"You use people just like that..." the girl's voice growled. "Now you'll kill me, just like you killed Ramza!"

Ramza could see a flash of blinding rage in Delita's eyes. Before Ramza could think of much else, he heard something sharp and vicious embed itself in the body's stomach, though he felt no pain from the impact. As the body slumped to the ground, Ramza could see a blood-soaked knife in Delita's left hand.

"Hey! Delita, why'd you do that?!" Ramza shouted, but no one heard him.

_This is the end for me.. _the girl's voice echoed sadly. _I never should have gone down this path... Ramza... Agrias... anyone... help... me...._

Things were going dark all around. Out of the corner of the body's eye, Ramza could see Delita kneeling on the ground a little ways from the body. "Ramza... What did you get?..." Delita asked out loud, a voice as steely and cold as anyone could muster. No sorrow was in it. There were no signs of any emotion whatsoever. All went black...

* * *

"Ramza? Ramza, wake up."

"Huh?" Ramza asked as he groggily sat up. The sun was just beginning to rise in the east. Rafa was shaking him awake.

"Are you OK?" Rafa asked. "You were shaking and sweating while you were asleep."

Ramza felt his face. Indeed, it was covered with cold sweat. "I had the strangest dream," he said. "I was inside someone else's body, and..."

"No time for talk," Cinna said as he strapped his lute to his back. "Everyone's ready to go but you, Ram-a-lama. C'mon! Here, have a Pop Tart."

"Ram-a-lama?" Ramza asked as he bit into the Pop Tart. "Who comes up with these lines? Mmm, strawberry..."

* * *

"C'mon, work, you lousy slabs of flesh!" the foreman shouted as the chain gang members slammed their pickaxes into the rocks in the hot desert sun.

"Eight in the morning and we're already boiling," Alicia groaned.

"Why'd you have to go and trip, Rad?" Lavian growled. "We're stuck in here for 30 years because of you!"

"Relax," Rad grumbled. "I' KNOW this is my fault. It's just like when I screwed up and Gafgarion, Ramza and I spent a week in jail."

"Really?" Lavian asked. "What happened?"

"We were planning a heist of some powerful armor at Bethla Garrison, and I kind of tripped over the guard's shoe and woke him up... Boy, was he mad!" Rad chuckled as he remembered the experience.

"Aw, geez," Alicia grumbled. "You are one clumsy oaf, do you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Rad sighed. "But relax... I have a plan."

* * *

Ramza lead the way as the party crossed out of the desert and onto a river's edge. "Wow, look at all that water," Mustadio said. "It's crystal clear. I've never seen such a beautiful stream."

"That's 'cuz you never bother to look around," Agrias said, kicking up some dirt with her shoes. "All you ever do is gawk at blueprints and technical magazines."

"Konra is south of here," Cinna said. "We'll have to build a raft to get there fast enough."

"A raft?" Meliadoul asked. "Doesn't look like there's much reason to. I mean, the water is just fine."

"Oh, yeah?" Cinna asked. "What makes you think it's just fine?"

"Well, it's crystal clear, there's no dangerous fish, and it doesn't smell like anything rotten," Meliadoul explained as she started to glare at the bard. "What's the deal?"

"Watch," Cinna said as he took a stick and submerged it in the water. A huge CHOMP was heard, and when Cinna removed the stick, it had a huge bite mark on it and the wood was dissolving in his hand. "Firstly, this river's toxic," Cinna explained. "Secondly, it's home to rancid, invisible piranhas."

"...Errr, I'll go find some timber," Beowulf said, walking over to a grove of trees.

"I'm, uh, gonna go follow him," Mustadio said, following Beowulf into the grove.

"How did the river get like this?" Alma asked as she looked down into the transparent liquid.

"No one knows," Cinna said. "For the longest time this river's been nice and refreshing for everyone, but about a year ago it suddenly became like this. Very strange."

"Ramza, wasn't that mine you checked out in Nazdrubia kind of like this?" Agrias asked. "It was real nice until that Mechannite thing showed up and mutated the area?"

"Yeah, this is kind of like that," Ramza said. "We'd better be careful."

Beowulf and Mustadio returned after about half an hour with a huge batch of timber. "OK, let's make a raft," Orlandu said. "Hyah!"

Orlandu started slashing at the wood to shape it into symmetrical blocks. Reis and Meliadoul grabbed some twine and rope and tied the pieces together. Cloud whittled out a rudder for the back. Worker No.8 and Malak made some paddles.

"But this river's toxic," Alma said. "How are we going to use a wooden raft to ride on it?"

"Simple," Cinna said. He pulled a small aerosol can out of his bag. The label read NON-TOXIC SPRAY. He sprayed it all over the raft and paddles. He stuck one of the paddles in the water and pulled it out, completely intact.

"Wow!" Agrias exclaimed. "That's great!"

"The spray protects the stuff from the poison, and the piranhas don't like its taste," Cinna explained. "We're good to go now."

"So let's go!" Rafa said.

"Couldn't we all have just sprayed ourselves with that and swam?" Meliadoul asked crossly.

"Hey, I've only got half a can," Cinna protested.

The group piled onto the raft and started down the river.

"We may be safe on this raft, but don't touch the water, whatever you do," Cinna warned.

"This is a pretty comfy raft!" Alma said as she stroked the wood with her hand.

"How long will it take to get to Konra?" Meliadoul asked.

"Oh, only about three hours," Cinna said. "Just try to stay out of direct sunlight. You could get heat stroke."

"Folks wearing heavy clothing don't usually get heat stroke," Meliadoul argued.

"You're right," Cinna chuckled. "Usually they dehydrate and die of thirst."

Meliadoul thought about this for a moment. She took off her hood, exposing her rich, brown hair. Then she scooted over to get in the shade of the rudder. Cinna chuckled lightly. Meliadoul glared at him again.

"Three hours on the river?" Mustadio asked. "I think I'm gonna like this." He sat back and put his arms behind his head.

"You're so lazy," Agrias muttered.

"Well, it's not like I can go anywhere or do anything," Mustadio argued.

"We could play some games," Rafa said.

"I've got some Tetra Master cards," Cloud said. "Anyone up for a game?"

Everyone looked at him strangely. "What?" Cloud asked.

"Well, personally, I prefer Triple Triad," Alma said as she revealed her playing cards.

* * *

After about two and a half hours, things were getting kind of boring. "Bored, bored, bored, bored," Mustadio grumbled.

"I wish something would happen," Agrias said.

"...Hey, we've stopped moving," Ramza said as he looked at the shore. "The river's still running, but the raft is sitting still."

"Hey, there are candle holders with candles glowing blue and purple on the shores," Rafa pointed out. "...And a large circle with a picture of a snake in the water."

"This ain't good..." Cinna said.

Suddenly, a huge robotic snake shot out of the water and confronted the party. "Gyaaaahhh!!!" Malak shouted. "It's a huge, mechanical python!"

"I wonder if his name's Monty?" Rafa asked.

"You humans have a lot of gall, sailing on my river," the snake said. "Prepare to meet your makers! GRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Get off the raft, hurry!" Ramza shouted. Everyone but Ramza, Meliadoul, Cloud, Orlandu and Alma were able to get off before the serpent began its attack.

"Are you one of the Mechannites?" Ramza asked.

"I am Sea Serpent, the Snake Mechannite!" Sea Serpent hissed. "You are Ramza Beoulve, I assume. Perish!!! TSUNAMI WAVE!!!"

Sea Serpent inhaled deeply, and began spewing water all over the raft. "Aaaagh!" Meliadoul yelled. "At least this water isn't poisonous."

"SSSSSSS!!!!" Sea Serpent hissed menacingly as he dove towards the raft, his two fangs emerging and glistening with venom.

"Watch out!!!" Ramza shouted.

"Let us teach him a lesson," Orlandu said to Meliadoul. She nodded in agreement. The both readied their swords. "TWIN SHELLBUST STAB!!!"

A huge burst of energy shot up and shattered Sea Serpent's metallic breastplate, revealing raw circuitry underneath. "You filthy humans!" Sea Serpent roared. "You shall never defeat the Mechannites! VENOM MAELSTROM!!!"

"MBarrier!" Alma shouted, surrounding the group with a force field that kept them safe from the huge purple tornado that ripped across the raft.

"This guy's gettin' on my nerves," Cloud growled. "OMNISLASH!!!"

Cloud leaped off the raft and started stabbing away at Sea Serpent everywhere he could find. Finally, his blade sank into Sea Serpent's head, sending shrapnel and sparks everywhere.

"NO!!!" Sea Serpent wailed. "You little pests! Just remember... You'll never reach your goal as long as we're around!" With that, Sea Serpent exploded, blowing metal shards and water everywhere. When the smoke cleared, a second Chinese Zodiac stone was plopped neatly on the raft. The river's transparent color faded to a deep blue.

"By defeating Sea Serpent, I think we fixed the river," Ramza said, looking down into the water.

"Way to go, guys!" Mustadio cheered.

"Good job," Agrias said, nodding.

"Come on!" Meliadoul shouted. "The raft is starting to move again! Get on, hurry!"

After everyone had managed to reboard the raft, Cinna observed the new stone.

"This is the Stone of the Snake," Cinna finally said. "This stone lets the user surround himself or herself with a toxic barrier that poisons any foe that attacks you."

"Sounds pretty useful," Mustadio said. "Let's keep it."

"Of course we'll keep it," Agrias muttered. "We need it to have all twelve stones."

"Hey, you did pretty good there, Mel," Cinna said to Meliadoul as he sat down again.

"Hmmph," Meliadoul snorted. "I've just had a lot of experience."

Cinna said nothing, but began to play on his lute.

This annoyed Meliadoul. "Quit it," she growled. Cinna stopped playing and put his lute away.

"Still, will all our battles be as difficult as that one?" Ramza asked. "...And what about that dream?..."

"Dream?" Rafa asked. "What dream, Ramza?"

"Huh? Oh, never mind..." Ramza said. He didn't want to trouble anyone with his problems right now, but the dream still bothered him. He pondered it as the raft floated downstream towards the port town of Konra.

* * *

"Are we out yet?" Balmafula asked as Olan Durai chipped away at the metal bars that sealed their prison cell shut.

"Almost..." Olan said as he filed away at the bars. Delita, being the 'kindly, benevolent king' that he was, had thrown the 'heretics' Olan and Balmafula into his personal dungeon. Now that Ovelia was gone, Delita could do whatever he wanted to her cousin, Olan.

"Uh-oh," Balmafula said. "I hear a patrol coming! Get down!"

Olan and Balmafula hit the floor as some people walked through. One of them stopped in front of their cell.

"Captain Flite, prepare my armada," Delita's voice said.

"Yes, sir," Flite said. "...Why, sir?"

"Ramza has escaped to Zeratul. If we're going to convince the locals to hand him over, we'll need some muscle to back us up," Delta said. "And let Dr. Furkkes move some of his lab equipment onto the main boat."

"...At once, sir," Flite said with a hint of reluctance in his voice. The two kept walking.

"Ramza's alive?" Balmafula asked.

"I told you!" Olan said. "Crap, Delita's gonna mop the floor with him if he gets to him first! We have to get out!"

"Let me help," Balmafula said, putting her hands to her mouth. Being a magician, she had many tricks up her sleeve. She blew at the metal bars, and they instantly melted into a puddle of molten steel. "Come on," she said, helping Olan up. "Just don't touch the melted parts."

"But how do we get to Zeratul?" Olan asked.

"Relax," Balmafula said, winking at the astrologist. "We'll hitchhike."

"Heh?..." Olan asked, displaying his confusion with a raised eyebrow.


	10. Konra Lighthouse

**CHAPTER 10**

**KONRA LIGHTHOUSE**

"Are we there yet?" Mustadio asked as the river floated down towards the port city of Konra.

"For the last time, YES!" Agrias huffed.

"Now then..." Cinna said. "Who knows how to stop a raft?"

"What?" Ramza asked.

That was when the raft hit the dock and sent everyone flying onto the hard pavement of the street.

"OWWWW!!!" Meliadoul groaned as she pulled herself up. "Next time, someone hit the brakes!"

"Never mind that," Cloud said. "Is the raft OK?"

Everyone looked down where the raft had collided. It was sinking into the river, surrounded by a froth of bubbles.

"Too bad," Alma said. "It was really a good raft."

"We never even got to christen it..." Malak sighed.

"At least we made it here," Orlandu said, looking around.

Konra was a port town, but it was quite different from Porta Vista. It was a bit more quaint, with less big buildings and more traditional houses, designed to look like Swiss chalets. Seagulls flew around the docks and fishing boats sailed in and out.

"Hold on a second," Agrias objected. "How come we were just in the desert back there and now we're on the ocean again? This doesn't make sense. We're inland, for goodness sake."

"Oh, I must've forgotten to tell ya," Cinna said. "Konra isn't by the ocean, but it's got a lake-sized saltwater bay that leads out into the ocean."

"Well, THAT explains everything," Meliadoul sighed.

"Hey, you wanted an explanation, I'm giving one to you," Cinna said.

* * *

"Hurry up, you guys!" Rad shouted to Alicia and Lavian as the three of them ran over the desert with the chains still attached to their ankles. They were following a set of train tracks that they hoped would lead to the next town.

"Did anyone see us escape?" Lavian asked.

"I hope not," Alicia remarked.

"OK, we've gotta find out where Ramza went," Rad said. "Of course, it might be a good idea to get these chains off first... We do look pretty suspicious."

Just then, a train rolled by on the set of tracks. "I have a plan," Rad quickly said, running up alongside it and jumping into the nearest compartment.

"Wait up!" Alicia shouted as she and Lavian struggled to keep up the pace. Alicia jumped up and clung to the side of the train. Lavian was the only one still running.

Rad looked around the boxcar. There were a few other hoboes in there, unshaven and holding various odds and ends. "Any of you guys skilled in metalworking?" Rad asked.

Suddenly, Lavian tripped. The chains yanked Alicia off the train and then Rad. They all collided with each other and rolled downhill into the Stoic River.

"Oh, nice going, Lavian," Rad growled as he spit water out of his mouth.

"I tripped on a gopher!" Lavian protested.

* * *

"Welcome to Konra!" the innkeeper said as he poured Ramza a drink at the inn's bar. "What can I do for you guys?"

"Well, we'll need a room..." Alma suggested. "A big one."

The innkeeper looked at the group of 15 strangers. "...Just one room?" he asked.

"Yep," Alma said. "One room."

"All right..." the innkeeper said hesitantly.

"Alma, are you nuts?!" Agrias asked. "There's no way we could all stay in one room!"

"Try telling that to the wallet," Alma said, shoving a near-empty leather case at the others. "We're flat-out broke here!"

"So, barkeep," Mustadio said. "Anything happening in town lately?"

"Well," the innkeeper said. "We were going to have our annual Starlight Festival..."

"Ooh, a party!" Reis said. "I adore parties."

"I said we WERE going to have it," the innkeeper said. "Unfortunately, we usually launch fireworks from the Konra Lighthouse, but ever since a few weeks ago, no one's dared to go up to it." The innkeeper leaned in close. "They say it's haunted now."

"H-h-haunted?!" Mustadio stuttered.

"Get a grip, scaredy-cat," Agrias muttered.

"Anyone who goes up there now has a bunch of ninja stars thrown at them from the top of the lighthouse," the innkeeper said. "No one can see what's up there, so everyone says it's haunted."

"Haunted, shmaunted," Malak said. "I think they're full of it. Whaddya say, Ramza? Let's go check it out."

"Well, I suppose we could..." Ramza said.

"Yeah, if they don't get the lighthouse fixed, there won't be any festival," the innkeeper said.

"No parties?" Reis asked. "We won't let THAT happen!"

"I'll come," Rafa said.

"Me, too," Mustadio said.

"You'll be toast without me," Agrias said.

"Awful sure of yourself, aren't you?" Mustadio grumbled.

"I guess we'll go, then," Ramza said.

"You guys be careful," Cinna said. "If you die, who'm I gonna write my songs about?"

"Yeah, that'd be REAL tragic," Meliadoul muttered.

"Would you prefer I write about 'Wonderful King Delita?'" Cinna asked.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Meliadoul said as she reconsidered her standing on the subject.

Ramza, Rafa, Malak, Mustadio and Agrias left the inn and headed up towards the lighthouse. "It's probably just some practical joker throwing stuff at people," Malak muttered.

"But what if there really ARE ghosts?" Rafa asked. "Have we got any Phoenix Downs?"

"Plenty," Mustadio said, revealing a huge sack of the sacred feathers.

"At least you come prepared," Agrias said.

"Geez! You never give me a break, do you?!" Mustadio growled.

"Why should I?" Agrias snorted.

"Knock it off, you guys-" Ramza started to say, when suddenly a blade nicked his ear. "What the?!" he exclaimed.

"Look out!" Rafa shouted, pushing Ramza down as a second shuriken came whizzing down. It embedded itself in the spot where Ramza had been standing.

'Well, the barkeep wasn't lying," Malak said as he dodged a few stars himself.

"Ah! AH! Hey!" Agrias growled as she pranced about, dodging the sharp shurikens being flung her way.

'I'll fix this," Mustadio muttered as he yanked out his gun and fired. The hail of stars ceased.

"Nice work, Mustadio!" Ramza said.

"I guess you're good for something," Agrias said.

Mustadio rolled his eyes, and the group walked into the lighthouse.

"There sure is a lot of marine stuff in here," Malak said, observing a box of military medals.

"Hold on a second, this isn't right," Ramza said. "Can we get the prop guys in here for a second?!"

Two guys ran in. "Guys, I think this is supposed to say MARITIME instead of marine," Ramza explained, showing them his copy of the script. The two guys immediately wheeled away the whole set and replaced it with a different one.

"OK, let's take it from the top," the director shouted. "Nice eye, Ramza."

"....Sure is a lot of maritime stuff in here," Malak said, observing a huge anchor and a diving suit.

"That's more like it," Rafa said. "If those things were coming from the top of the lighthouse, shouldn't we should look up there?"

"I like the way you think, Rafa," Agrias said, beginning to climb the steps.

"Yeah, this place is filled with deep-sea stuff," Mustadio said as he looked around. "Wait a minute, what's this? 'Spongebob Squarepants?'" He picked up a strange, yellow creature wearing oddly-shaped trousers and observed it thoughtfully.

"We'd like to extend our heartiest apologies to Nickelodeon and its various enterprises," the network censor said as she appeared. "The scene in question was merely an ad-lib brought on by an actor who wasn't using his head."

"Who asked you?!" Mustadio asked, throwing the sponge at the censor. She was hit and rolled down the stairs with accompanying sounds of pain.

"Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowow," the censor yelled as she tumbled down the spiraling steps.

"Are things outside of Ivalice funnier or just more stupid?" Ramza asked as he brought up the party's rear.

After a long, long, long, long, LONG climb, the group reached the top of the lighthouse. "Whew, that was quite a climb," Agrias wheezed as she plopped down on the floor near the ladder.

"That's probably why they used so many 'longs' in the sentence," Mustadio grumbled as he entered the room after her.

"At least we made it," Malak said, forcing himself up a few more rungs and letting his body hit the floor on the top.

Rafa and Ramza entered the room in a similar fashion. "...Say, did you guys notice something?" Rafa asked.

"What?" Ramza asked.

"Well, there was all sorts of maritime stuff on the way up here, but this room is way different," Rafa explained. "I mean, there isn't any ocean junk at all, just some candles with blue and.... purple... flames... Uh-oh."

"Battle stations!" Agrias shouted, readying her sword.

On the ground, there was a large circle with a picture of a monkey inside of it. A low chuckle could be heard from somewhere. "Glad you came up here. I'll make it worth your while, Ooka ooka oo..."

The group watched as a mechanical monkey dropped down from the ceiling. He wore a ninja's uniform, and his hands and feet grasped throwing stars ready for launching.

"Another Mechannite, I presume?" Ramza asked, drawing his sword. The monkey threw three stars and pinned Ramza to the wall.

"Correct," the monkey said. "I am Shuriken Simian, the monkey Mechannite! I thought you guys would show up sooner or later for my stone. That was a cheap shot, shooting at me from down there!"

"It wasn't very nice of you to be tossing throwing stars at us, either. Just give the stone to us," Mustadio argued.

"Please?" Rafa asked.

"Impossible," Shuriken Simian chuckled darkly. "I couldn't give it to you, even if I wanted to, ooka ooka..."

"I guess we'll have to fight for it," Malak growled, readying his rod.

"Smart boy," Shuriken Simian said. "Get ready! MONKEY STAR!!!"

Shuriken Simian started throwing ninja stars every which way. They were coming out so fast, it looked like a sub-machine gun being fired.

"Owww!!!" Agrias hissed as a blade sunk into her left hip.

"Agrias, are you all right?" Mustadio asked.

"No, I'm all happy and prancing around without a care in the world!" Agrias growled. "Of COURSE I'm not all right!"

"Ramza, here," Rafa said, struggling to yank the stars out of his clothing to free him. He dropped to the floor and stood up again.

"Thanks, Rafa," Ramza said, smiling at her.

"How sweet," Shuriken Simian sneered. "But I don't care! HYAAAAAHHHH!!!"

The robotic ape started hurling swords and axes directly at Ramza.

"Yikes! He's bringing out the heavy artillery!" Ramza shouted, leaping off to the side.

"Sky Demon!" Rafa shouted, casting a Heaven skill. The holy blasts slowed Shuriken Simian down, but they mostly just made him angrier.

"I'll slice you all to ribbons!" the monkey screeched, lobbing spears and more ninja stars at the group.

"Heaven Bolt Back!" Malak shouted, allowing his devilish attack to blast around Shuriken Simian. One burst hit him and made him direct his attention at Malak, throwing spears and swords at the exotic priest.

"Malak, watch out!" Rafa shouted.

"Warrrgh!" Malak yelled as a blade sunk into his leg and he teetered out the window.

"MALAK!!!" Rafa screamed.

Ramza put his hands together and concentrated for a moment. "BAHAMUT!!!" he shouted. Instantly, a huge dragon appeared outside the lighthouse window. It swooped down, grabbed Malak and deposited him back inside the room.

"Thank God!" Agrias said. "Now let's put Bonzo to bed! HOLY EXPLOSION!!!"

Agrias's attack zoomed towards Shuriken Simian, but he leaped away at the last second. "Im-impossible!" Agrias cried.

"Let's slow him down," Mustadio growled. "ARM AIM!"

"Nice try, geekwad," Agrias said. "He's too fast!"

But instead of shooting directly at Shuriken Simian, Mustadio shot at one of the candelabras. It bounced off and struck the robotic ape in the back!

"KWEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!" Shuriken Simian shrieked. "I can't move my arms!"

"Well, that's why it's called Arm Aim," Mustadio said, pointing his gun at the surprised monkey. "LEG AIM!"

One blast from the gun made Shuriken Simian unable to move. "N'grrr!!!" the ape yelled. "This is an outrage!!!"

"Now, guys!" Mustadio shouted.

"Sky Demon!" Rafa shouted.

"Sky Demon Back!" Malak yelled.

"Ultima!" Ramza shouted.

"Lightning Stab!" Agrias commanded. All four attacks hit Shuriken Simian and his bits and pieces flew everywhere.

"You sneaky bastards!" he yelled. "You'll never get all the stones!" Then he exploded and shrapnel flew everywhere. When the light faded, there was a green stone lying where the mechanical monkey had been.

"A fourth of the stones are collected," Agrias said as she walked over and picked it up. "Ovelia... We'll get you back yet."

"What did he mean when he said he couldn't give us the stone?" Rafa asked.

"Don't you remember the story?" Mustadio asked. "The Mechannites ARE the stones. They transformed into beasts to protect themselves and the temple."

"Well, we'll have to use them wisely," Ramza said, looking at the emerald-green bauble in Agrias's palms.


	11. Marshall Desert

**CHAPTER 11**

**MARSHALL DESERT**

"Man, what happened to YOU guys?!" Cloud asked as the five adventurers entered the bar at Konra.

"Ugh. Run-in with a monkey that liked throwing things," Malak grumbled, pointing at the wound on his leg. Rafa would have healed it at the lighthouse, but Malak had insisted they wait until they were back at the bar. He wasn't the type that liked to slow everyone else down.

"Anyway, the lighthouse is free now," Ramza said to the barkeep. "You guys can have your festival."

"Thank you so much, sir!" the barkeep said. "The citizens of Konra are in your debt!"

"We'd better keep moving if we want to find the other stones," Beowulf said.

"Oh, but I want to go to the party!" Reis complained.

"It's OK Reis," Mustadio said. "We do plenty of partying on our own. We form a party every time there's a fight!"

Everyone groaned at the awful joke.

"Get a clue, geekwad," Agrias muttered. "Cinna, where do we go next?"

"The quickest way to Berkana now would be to head east, through the Marshall Desert," Cinna said, pointing towards the looming, barren landscape.

"The desert AGAIN?..." Cloud groaned. "But the last desert we were in did serious damage to my hair gel..."

"Hiking through another desert will not be an easy task," Orlandu sighed. "Especially if there are rattlesnakes. I HATE rattlesnakes!"

"Actually, it's the same desert that Nazdrubia's in," Cinna said. "Except we're much further south. So don't worry; that Nodyl guy will never find us. Hey, what-"

The mechanical device that Cress had given Cinna was beeping. Cinna pushed a few buttons and observed it closely for a few moments before turning to the rest of the group. "Cress just sent me a message," he said. "Your friends have escaped the chain gang!"

"What?! That's great news!" Ramza exclaimed.

"I knew they'd be fine soldiers," Agrias said, nodding approvingly. "And Rad's not bad either!"

"...But where'd they go?" Rafa asked.

"Cress thinks they headed southeast," Cinna said. "Maybe we'll catch up with them..."

"Whatever the case, let's get moving!" Alma said, picking up her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. With no chocobos to ride, she was getting more and more used to hiking and roughing it.

Ramza and company set out the door and headed east, into the burning desert.

* * *

"Ohhhh..." Alicia groaned. "How long have we been walking since the whole train thing?..."

"Three days," Lavian muttered. "...And no water in sight..."

"We could be finished this time..." Rad groaned. Just then, he looked up and saw a strange building in the middle of the barren desert. It had a huge dish attached to the top of it, but its purpose was unclear. "Hey! Maybe someone there can help us!" he said, lurching forward in a poor man's attempt at running.

"Wait for us, Rad," Alicia grumbled, dragging herself along with the chains making a clear pinging sound in the sunlight.

Pretty soon, the group arrived at the building. "...I wonder what it is?" Lavian asked.

"WQXR... Gibberish," Rad muttered. "Whoever lives here has lousy spelling skills."

"Well, I never heard of a 'Speller' job class, so you can't blame them," Alicia chuckled dryly.

The trio walked inside. The interior of the building seemed to be empty. Suddenly, a man stumbled out from the back, poking at everything with a walking stick. Apparently, he was blind. "Who's there?" he asked.

"Oh, excuse me, sir," Rad said. "My friends and I have been hiking through the desert for days, and we'd really appreciate a drink of water or something like that."

"Lissen, son," the blind man said. "This here's a radio station, not a restaurant. If'n you can sing nice into that microphone," he said as he waved his cane around in a certain direction. "Then we'll talk about other stuff. You any good with music?"

"Ummm..." Rad said. He turned to Alicia and Lavian.

"...I can make a neat sound with my finger and mouth," Lavian said, sticking her pinky in her mouth and making a popping sound.

"I'll sing. I'm desperate here!" Alicia croaked.

"I'm a fairly good singer and I can play a mean banjo," Rad said to the others. "OK, let's give it a try!" He turned back to the man. "Actually, sir, we're a traveling band," he said. "We perform all sorts of stuff... classical, old-timey, jazz..."

"Well, I'm sure we could use some jazz," the man said. "What band are ya?"

"(My tush is soaked to the bone with my own sweat,)" Lavian groaned. "(Enough with the mind games already!)"

"(I woulda drank water out of a cactus, but I didn't wanna touch the needles...)" Alicia whispered weakly.

"Sweat? Cactus?... That's it!" Rad said. "We're the Wishy-Washy Rear-Ended Cactus!"

"What?" Alicia asked.

"Strange, never heard of ya," the man said. "Oh, well. C'mon in."

And so, Rad, Alicia and Lavian scribbled out a jazz tune and sang it into the microphone with the accompaniment of Lavian's pinky trick and a banjo Rad found in the back of the room. After they had finished, the man clapped.

"Dang, that's a great song!" he laughed. "Now sign these here papers," he said, picking up a stack of papers and waving them around, "and we'll get y'all settled with some lodgings fer now."

"The things we do for food," Lavian groaned. "My pinky's sore."

"Did this whole scene seem really familiar to you, or what?" Rad asked. "Sure felt like I'd seen it somewhere before..."

"You think to much," Alicia said. "Where's the food?!"

* * *

"Are my ships ready?" Delita asked Admiral Miraz, the commander of the Ivalice fleet.

"Ready as ever, sir," Miraz said, saluting. Not many soldiers cared for Delita, and that went double for the navy, but Miraz was understandably loyal to Delita.

Miraz was the youngest admiral in Ivalice's fleet. Delita and Ovelia had found him on a trip to Dorter as just a homeless boy. Delita had taken him under his wing and trained him to be a navy man. Miraz owed his job and possibly his life to the tyrant.

"Wonderful," Delita said. "We'll send in three mega ships first to negotiate, but we'll still arm them with my troops and some... surprises."

"Surprises, sir?" Miraz asked.

Two soldiers walked in, hauling a huge cage. The bars were so close together you couldn't see what was in it, but it was thrashing about and something inside was roaring and snarling like a possessed animal. Miraz visibly flinched. "I... yes, sir!" he said.

"Excellent," Dr. Furkkes chuckled as he walked in. "The third mega ship will be my nautical laboratory. Set up everything in there."

"Your majesty," Captain Flite said as he walked in and saluted. "Are you sure that the entire armada is needed just to bring back one small band of heretics?"

Delita grabbed Flite by the shirt collar and, since Flight was well over six feet tall, dragged him down to his own level. "Listen and listen well, captain," Delita whispered. "Ramza Beoulve is the reason why Queen Ovelia perished. He must be hunted down and dealt with like all murderers, and the same goes for his cohorts. Do I make myself clear?" Delita's voice was quiet and deadly.

"...Yes, sir," Flite said. Delita let go of Flite's shirt and turned back to the others.

"I want the ships ready for launch by 8:00 tonight," Delita instructed. "That's all!"

Behind a stack of crates on one of the armada's clippers, Olan and Balmafula listened intently to the conversation. "Ramza a murderer? My rear!" Olan huffed. "He wasn't anywhere NEAR here when Ovelia died!"

"Oh, gee, could Delita possibly be lying?" Balmafula grumbled, heavy sarcasm evident in her tone of voice.

"We've gotta get to Zeratul, quick!" Olan muttered. "We'll hide here and stay on board until we get there, then we'll jump off and find Ramza, and... Oh, CRAP!"

"What's wrong?" Balmafula asked.

"I forgot my report on the Lion Wars!" Olan complained. "I must've left it in the cell..."

"Forget about it," Balmafula said. "We'll worry about it later."

* * *

"Awww, ma-a-a-a-an!!!" the rookie warden groaned as he looked at the ruined cell. "Olan got away! I shoulda known this would happen on my first day..."

"Relax," a cardinal said as he walked in. "He wasn't that big of a problem. We'll just say we burned him at the stake and call it night. Hey, what's this?" The cardinal picked up a slab of paper on the ground with the words DURAI REPORT written on it. He slipped it into his robes and left the cell.

* * *

"About time," Malak huffed. "I didn't think the writer would ever get back to us."

"Well, it's not like we're doing anything important," Meliadoul said. "We've just been hiking through the desert for the last few hours.

"Oh, geez, we should get some sleep," Cinna said as he looked at the setting sun. "We shouldn't roam about a night. That's when the quicksand appears and will suck people down into God knows where."

"Maybe it'll suck YOU in and do us all a favor," Meliadoul growled.

Cinna laughed heartily. "Didn't think you had a sense of humor, Mel!" he said as he clapped her on the back and kept walking.

"(Thicker than a stump...)" Meliadoul thought to herself as she glowered at the merry minstrel.

"All right," Orlandu said. "We'll rest for the night."

So everyone bed down for the night. Ramza found a nice spot by a rock and lay down. He didn't want to sleep right now, for fear of another nightmare like the first two. He was still trying to figure out what the second dream was about.

"Let's see," he thought. "The figure Delita stabbed was obviously a woman... I'm sure I've heard the voice before... And she called for me and Agrias, plus she knew Orlandu and called Alma her best friend..." He pulled out a piece of toffee and chewed it thoughtfully. "Hmmm... It must've been Ovelia again. And I was inside Ovelia's body during... during what?"

"What're you thinking about, Ramza?"

Ramza almost jumped 30 feet when a figure plopped down next to him. He looked to the right to see Rafa's caramel face looking at him with anxious curiosity.

"Rafa! Geez, you scared me," Ramza said.

"Sorry," Rafa apologized, giggling a little. "What was it you were saying?"

"I was just thinking about the dream I had outside of Nazdrubia," Ramza said. "I think it might have been another message..."

"From that queen?" Rafa asked.

"Oh, I forgot that you never met her," Ramza said. "Yeah, the queen. But why would Delita stab the woman he so vigorously protected and vowed to keep safe? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me..."

The two sat there for a while, watching the desert night sky. The stars twinkled brightly, and several constellations could be seen quite well; Orion, Cassiopeia, Draco... All the mythical ones.

"...Say, Rafa," Ramza said.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come along with us? Aren't you a bit afraid of the unknown possibilities that are ahead?"

"Well, I do want to have some adventures," Rafa said. "But I am a bit afraid. But I'll get through it... You wanna know why?..."

"Okay, shoot," Ramza said, not really looking at her.

Rafa closed her eyes and her caramel-tinted flesh gained a little redness. "I'll get through it... because you're here with me."

Every hair on Ramza's body stood straight up as Rafa's hand placed itself on top of his.

"Rafa..." he said.

Rafa yawned deeply and stretched out, revealing her slender, hairless arms. "Oh, man, am I tired. I'm going to sleep. Good night, Ramza..." She lay back in the sand and dozed off.

"..." Ramza said as he stared up at the sky, with only the sounds of desert hawks in the sky and Rafa's quiet breathing beside him to keep him company.


	12. Pyramid of Iris

**CHAPTER 12**

**PYRAMID OF IRIS**

In the morning, Ramza was the first to wake up. "Hmm..." he said as he looked around. "Not much out there... Well, I'd better rouse the group."

As Ramza got up to walk over to Alma, his foot caught on something and he tumbled over onto his face. "OW!" he shouted as he sat up, spitting sand from his mouth. "What the heck was that!"

Ramza knelt down where his foot had tripped, and noticed a small pyramid. "What's this?" he asked, grabbing it and pulling. It refused to budge.

"(Yawwwwn... smack smack smack...) What're you doing, Ramza?" Rafa asked as she saw Ramza on all fours, digging at the little object.

"This thing tripped me, and I wanted to know what it is," Ramza said. "It's in pretty deep. Want to help me dig it out?"

"I guess so," Rafa said, stretching like a cat and yawning again before she got up and slowly started shoving sand to the side as she helped Ramza dig up the thing. "Hmm... It kind of looks like that weird charm the guy with red, spiky hair carries around on that one anime show..."

"AUGH! Hey, watch where you're throwing that stuff!" Mustadio yelled as he was awakened by a pile of sand thrown his way. "...Hey, what're you doing? Can I help?"

It wasn't long before the rest of the group had awakened, taken an interest in Ramza's project, and helped dig. After about three hours, they had unearthed a huge pyramid.

"Well, that was a nice morning workout," Meliadoul said. "But... what did we dig up!"

"Looks like an ancient pyramid," Mustadio said. "Judging by the layer of sand surrounding it, it's been here for quite a while."

Agrias walked up and placed her hand on the coarse stone. "It feels really old," she said, running her fingers over the ancient rock. "And yet, I feel something quite... sinister... is locked inside."

"Oh, I know!" Cinna said. "This is the Great Pyramid of Iris! Way back in the BC days-"

"BC?" Malak asked. "What does that stand for?"

"Before Cinna," Cinna chuckled."Anyway, back in ancient times, the great pharoess Iris ruled this desert and most of Zeratul. She was a very kind and considerate ruler, and she gained the trust and adoration of her people. When she passed away the people erected this amazing structure in her honor and buried her within it, among gold and jewels. I always thought it had wasted away due to erosion, but here it is, only submerged by the sands of the ages..."

"What an amazing archaeological find," Orlandu said. "We could become famous for discovering this."

"Really?" Meliadoul asked. "A band of wanted heretics discovering a cultural relic that predates the Glabados Church? I don't think so, Cid."

"Oh, you're so harsh," Cinna said. "Isn't it neat to just see it? It's like looking deep into the past..."

"I'll stick with the present, thank you," Meliadoul grumbled.

"Sensors indicate a hostile form inside this structure," Worker No.8 said. "Exercise extreme caution. Continuing scan of threat..."

"Hostile form?" Alma asked. "Do you think it could be a mummy?"

"Mummy!" Agrias asked, backing up and looking genuinely nervous. "Errr...That reminds me... My mummy's expecting me. It's my nap time!"

"Grow up, Agrias," Mustadio said. "Let Worker No.8 finish his scans before you jump to conclusions."

Agrias whimpered a bit, but she clammed up with a scowl. She folded her arms and turned to the side.

"Sensors indicate the form is of mechanical origin, resembling hostile Mechannites of previous encounters," Worker No.8 finally said.

"A Mechannite, huh?" Ramza asked. "That means there's a Chinese Zodiac stone here somewhere. Come on, guys. Let's go!"

"Maybe it would be better if we only sent a few people in there," Agrias said. "...Like someone who isn't afraid of..."

"Fine, Agrias, you're excused from this," Ramza finally said. "But I'm going down there."

"I'll come along," Orlandu said.

"Me, too," Meliadoul said. "I've always wanted to see an ancient burial chamber."

"Ahh, I'll come too," Cinna said. "It might inspire me to new songs."

"...Just don't talk to me," Meliadoul growled at the bard.

"I'll definitely come," Cloud said. "I've never seen this kind of structure in my time, either."

So Ramza, Meliadoul, Orlandu, Cinna and Cloud set foot into the gaping pyramid and ventured deep in, not knowing what perils awaited them.

"Boy, that man was nice," Lavian said as she, Rad and Alicia trooped across the desert again.

"All that great food, just to sing into a can," Rad said. "Plus, he let me keep the banjo. What a great country this is!"

"Still, do we know where we're going?"Alicia asked. "I mean, we're hopelessly lost out here without a map."

"The man said that a mountain town was south from his radio station," Lavian said. "If we just keep moving, I'm sure we'll find it."

"I hope so," Rad said. "Uh-oh. More Living Bones! This is getting tiresome. Places, everyone!"

"Kinda hard to fight when we're all chained together," Alicia shrugged, but readied her sword anyway.

"Why'd you come in here, Cinna?" Ramza asked. "You didn't need to."

"I know," Cinna said. "But the ancient world interests me. I'm always ready to find out something new."

Suddenly, Cinna hit a switch on the floor with his foot. He quickly fell over as a viper statue in the corner shot a destructive fireball out of its mouth. It singed the opposite wall.

"Woah..." Meliadoul said as she knelt down to observe what Cinna had stumbled upon. "It's a booby trap!" She hit the button and watched the fire shoot forth again.

"So glad I was able to spark your interest," Cinna said as he put his hat back on.

"Apparently, the ancients didn't want anyone plundering Iris's tomb," Orlandu said, putting a hand on Excalibur. "Stay sharp."

They ventured to another room, where a huge statue stood in the center. It was a statue of a beautiful woman with long, flowing hair. She wore the ancients' clothing, but that didn't hinder the fact that she was a knockout.

"That's a statue of Queen Iris," Cinna said. "She was very well-loved, as you see."

"You know," Cloud said. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but that girl looks very familiar... Hmmm..."

"I don't see anything strange about it," Ramza said. "But why is an ancient queen wearing... a beret?"

"Queen Iris had a funny habit of wearing strange and exotic hats," Cinna explained. "That beret was her favorite."

"Whatever," Meliadoul said, shrugging. "Just looks kinda weird to me."

"Let's keep moving," Ramza said. "And watch out for booby traps!"

The group continued down the narrow tunnels. "I'm getting kinda tired of casting Fire spells so we can see," Meliadoul, who was at the front, complained. "Can someone else do it?"

"LOOK OUT!"everyone else yelled. Meliadoul looked down and saw her left foot hovering inches away from stepping on another switch. She leaped backwards.

"Man, that was a close one," Cinna said. "Looks like I'm not the only one that likes stepping on deathtraps."

"Oh, shut up," Meliadoul grumbled.

"Relax," Cloud said. "I'll trip it." He grabbed his Materia Blade and poked at the switch. A giant mace rolled out of nowhere and across the room, vanishing into the ceiling. "HA! We're too smart for that," Cloud chuckled. That was before the mace fell back down crashing just centimeters in front of his face. He nervously stepped back a few paces, only to feel his foot sink down onto another switch.

"Aw, sh-" Ramza started to say when the floor dropped out beneath all of them.

"WHAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Meliadoul as they slid down ancient slides that were sending them deeper underground.

"I haaaaate this!" Cinna yelled as he tried to grab hold of something with traction.

"Oh, this is such fun!" Orlandu yelled. "Wheeeee!"

"I'M SORRY ALREADY!" Cloud yelled as he slid down, head first.

The whole group ended up in a heap at the bottom of the slide. "Owwww..." Ramza groaned as he tried to get up. "Meliadoul, get offa me..."

"I would, but Orlandu's on top of me," Meliadoul growled.

"Whoo! That was a hoot!" Orlandu laughed. "Can we do it again?"

"NO!" everyone answered unanimously.

"Crud," Orlandu grumbled, and got off.

After everyone had got themselves situated, they looked around in the room the were in. "Offhand, I'd say that this is the burial chamber of Queen Iris," Cinna said.

"What gives you that idea?" Cloud asked.

"That," Cinna said, pointing to the golden, elaborately-carved sarcophagus embedded in the floor in front of them. Queen Iris's blue eyes and gentle smile gleamed in the pale light that Meliadoul's Fire spell gave, and the dark-brown painted hair glistened like the real thing.

"Man, she's even hotter in color!" Cloud chuckled.

"Say, I didn't know there were lit candles in here," Cinna said. "I wonder how they've stayed lit for all this time? And they glow with such an interesting... blue... flame... uh-oh."

Everyone looked down as a circle with the picture of a dog in it appeared on the ground. "The Dog Mechannite, huh?" Ramza asked, drawing his Chaos Blade sword. "OK, bring it on!"

What they heard next chilled them to the bone. Not one, not two, but three dogs howled in the back of the room.

"What? There's three of them!" Meliadoul asked.

"I don't think so..." Cinna said, stepping back and readying his lute.

Suddenly, a quadruped robot lunged out of the darkness and confronted them. It was obviously a dog, but this dog had THREE heads. "You are Beoulve?" the center head asked.

"Yeah," Ramza said, not moving an inch.

"We are..." the left head said.

"...Cyber Cerberus..." said the right head.

"...The Dog Mechannite!" the center head said.

"Charmed," Meliadoul said, her Save the Queen visible in her hands now. "Give us your stone willingly, or we'll take it!"

"You never..." the left head said.

"Learn, do you?" the right head said.

"You'll have to kill us to get it!" the center one said. Then all three growled menacingly.

"We'll have to strike fast," Cloud said. "Three heads are much worse than one."

"GET READY!" all three heads said at the same time, and Cyber Cerberus lunged at them.

"Fire Bracelet!" the left head yelled, spewing hot flames at Cloud, who jumped away, mildly singed.

"Ice Bracelet!" the right head yelled, allowing a barrage of blizzards to come flying out at Meliadoul, who was knocked backwards and began shivering.

"Shock Bracelet!" the center head yelled as it spewed electric, fire and ice shots at Ramza. He took a beating and was knocked back behind Iris's sarcophagus.

"Holy Explosion!" Orlandu yelled, firing the divine blast at the beast, who effortlessly dodged it.

"Rumbaaaaa!" Cinna sang, but the beast easily avoided his barrage of notes.

"(Looks like he can see out of all three heads,)" Ramza growled. "(We'll have to attack from the back...)"

"Your efforts are..." the left head said.

"...FUTILE!" the right head yelled.

"QUAKE PAW!" the center head yelled as the body's arms slammed its claws into the ground and a huge fissure started.Everyone was blasted back onto their bottoms.

"Man, this guy doesn't play fair!" Cinna exclaimed.

"What're we supposed to do?" Cloud asked.

"I've got a plan," Ramza said. "Cloud, you disable the left head. Meliadoul, you get the right. Cinna, Orlandu and I will get him in the back. OK?"

"Mind letting ME in..."

"...On the conversation!" the heads roared and started blasting again.

"Start the strategy!" Cloud shouted. "BRAVER!" Before the left head could do anything, Cloud charged up and sliced it clean off. It exploded into tiny bits of metal in mid-air.

"You're in deep dog doo now, buddy!" Meliadoul said. "BLASTAR PUNCH!" Meliadoul's attack knocked the right head off too, which also blew up while airborne.

"Ready, guys?"Ramza asked.

"Crush Punch!" Orlandu yelled.

"Rumbaaaa!" Cinna sang.

"HYAAAHHH!" Ramza yelled as the first two attacks connected, and then he added his argument with a slice straight down the center. Cyber Cerberus shattered into two pieces.

"Well done, Beoulve," Cyber Cerberus growled. "But just remember... This is only the beginning!"

Cyber Cerberus exploded, scattering shrapnel and bits of junk everywhere. When the dust cleared, a blue stone rested on Iris's sarcophagus.

"This, I believe, is the Stone of the Dog," Cinna said as he picked it up. "...And the one you got from the lighthouse is the Stone of the Monkey. The Monkey one allows the user to become invisible for periods of time, and the dog stone lets you create multiple images of yourself to confuse the enemy. Both are quite useful."

"That's four down... Just eight to go," Meliadoul groaned.

"Well, let's get back up to the surface and show everyone our new treasure," Cloud said.

"Sorry about the disturbance, your majesty," Ramza said, bowing at the sarcophagus. "We leave you in peace."

The sarcophagus said nothing, but Ramza could have sworn that the coffin... winked... at them as they turned to leave through an alternate exit. Ramza shook his head and walked up the stairs towards the daylight.

* * *

"Ramza and the others sure have been down there a long time," Rafa said.

"That's it," Agrias said, getting up and starting towards the entrance. "Mummies or no, I'm going down there!"

Suddenly, the group heard a yell. They all looked up as the barkeep from Konra ran down to the pyramid entrance. "You guys have to help us!" he said. "There's some crazy monarch from Ivalice demanding that Ramza be handed over, or else he'll burn Konra to the ground! Please, won't you help!"

"Delita!" Agrias growled, her teeth gnashing together. "Ooh, I'll fix him!"

"We'd better wait for Ramza and the others to get back before we go, though," Mustadio remarked.

"...All right," Agrias growled. She didn't take her hand off her sword, though. "But he'd better make it snappy!"

The group nervously waited for Ramza and the others to reappear from the gaping mouth of the pyramid.


	13. Armada Attack

**CHAPTER 13**

**ARMADA ATTACK**

"Whew, that was a rough one," Ramza commented as he emerged from the depths of the pyramid into the blazing desert sun.

"Ramza!!!"

Ramza looked up, surprised. Rafa dashed over to him and grabbed his hand. "Quick, we have to go back to Konra right away!"

"Why?" Ramza asked. "Did we forget something?"

"No, but someone's there and he wants to talk to you," Rafa said. "Delita's come calling!"

"Delita?..." Ramza asked. "Well, I'd better go and see him. Maybe he just wants to talk."

"Talk?!" Agrias asked as she walked up behind Rafa. The others were exiting the pyramid at about this time as well. "You can't talk to him! Your guts'll be spattered across the pavement before you can even say 'Hi, Delita!' You're nuts, Ramza!"

"Hey," Ramza said. "Delita's been through some rough times, but he's still my friend... I hope. Let's go to Konra and see what he wants."

"Let's be careful, though," Mustadio said. "No telling what he's got up his sleeve."

* * *

After a three-day trek back from the desert, Ramza and company arrived back at the town of Konra. Boy, had it changed.

Houses were burned down. Bodies of wounded civilians littered the streets. Ivalice soldiers marched around town, doing whatever they pleased. "Oh, my..." Alma said. "This is awful..."

"Dreadful doesn't even BEGIN to describe this, baby!" Cinna said. "This dive is sunk!"

"Are you OK?" Rafa asked a person who was propped up against the side of a building. Blood dribbled from the man's mouth.

"Unghhh... Ivalice... attack... armada..." he groaned before he passed out again.

"...Armada, huh? Those must be what he's talking about," Orlandu said, pointing at three huge ships in the harbor. The Ivalice flag adorned the masts of all three, and they flapped threateningly in the mild breeze.

"Delita..." Ramza said, looking around at the devastation. "...Why?..."

Ramza took off down the road, headed for the boats. "Ramza, wait!" Rafa shouted, chasing after him.

"Wait for me!" Alma called, running after both of them.

"I want to see this Delita guy for myself," Cinna said, charging after.

"Damn you, Hyral! I'll take my vengeance now! This's for Ovelia!!!" Agrias howled, drawing her sword and ripping off down the road.

Of course, the ships were heavily guarded, and Ramza and company had to bash through quite a bit of infantry before they could get on board.

"Sky Demon!" Rafa yelled, blowing soldiers into the water left and right.

"MBarrier!" Alma said, sealing Ramza in a mystical barrier to keep her brother safe.

"Syyyymphonyyyy!" Cinna sang, playing a melody that cast Haste upon all his friends.

"LIGHTNING STAB!!! HOLY EXPLOSION!!! CRUSH PUNCH!!!" Agrias roared, cutting a bloody swath through the troops.

"Woah, Agrias, chill out!" Cinna said.

"That bastard's gonna pay!" Agrias yelled, charging past Ramza and dashing up onto the boat.

"She's always been a bit zealous..." Ramza chuckled.

"Just plain bonkers is more like it," Alma commented.

Ramza, Rafa, Alma and Cinna all rushed on board the ship and continued attacking the enemies. A few Knights here, some Geomancers there... Rafa encountered a Mediator.

"The Bible commands us to be joyful! Psalm 66: Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lions!" the mediator shouted, using Preach in a corny accent.

"Oooh, boy..." Rafa muttered, and gently bopped the Mediator unconscious with her rod.

Ramza just kept stabbing and slashing at every enemy that came his way. Some ran from him, others he just grabbed and suplexed over the side of the boat. Ramza didn't like killing, so he tried to avoid doing so. "Let's just find Delita and get him to stop the attack!" Ramza yelled.

"Hell no!" Agrias yelled, reducing her foes to ashes with a few slices. "That monster's gonna die here and now!"

"Agrias, get a hold of yourself!" Alma shouted. "You're letting your emotions govern your behavior!"

"No! He's dead meat!!!" Agrias roared.

In spite of the raging battle around them, Alma walked over and slapped Agrias. "Snap out of it, Agrias! You're out of control!" she yelled.

A hand-shaped bruise appeared on Agrias's cheek. She looked at Alma thoughtfully for a minute, then plainly bopped an attacking Ninja on the head with the flat of her sword. "....You're right... I'm sorry," Agrias growled. "It's just that..." she drop-kicked a Time Mage. "...When I saw what he did outside..." she slammed the heads of two Monks together. "...I remembered why I hate him so much..." She grabbed a Mime's foot and jammed it into his mouth, then pushed him down a flight of stairs. "...I'm sorry. I'll try to keep cool."

"There we go," Rafa said as she beat a Knight down with her rod. "Never let your emotions rule you, Agrias. It's not you."

"I'm sorry," Agrias said. "Let's find Delita and bring him to justice!"

The five warriors crashed through the rest of the ship, defeating every enemy in sight. Finally, the ship was vacant of all but the five.

"That was an interesting workout..." Alma sighed as she rapped her Gold Staff on the ground, exhausted.

"Still, I didn't see Delita anywhere..." Rafa said. "You think he's on one of the other ships?"

"How bright you are!" a voice echoed from the ship on the left. Everyone turned around to see Delita walk up on deck, his glistening white cape fluttering in the ocean breeze and his gold-plated armor reflecting the morning light. Captain Flite, Admiral Miraz and Dr. Furkkes all stood behind him. Behind them sat a large, metal cage. "Ramza, how good to see you again! Pity it has to end like this."

"Delita, what are you doing here?" Ramza asked. "Are you trying to conquer this land, or have you something else in mind?"

"Please," Delita said, waving his hand. "If I wanted to conquer this country, I'd have done it already. I'm just here to bring a criminal and a heretic to justice."

"What?" Alma asked.

Delita then began putting on one of the most convincing acts of his time. "Why... why did you kill my beloved Ovelia?" he sobbed, real tears spouting from his eyes. "She was so young... and on her birthday, of all days..."

"Lies!!!" Agrias hissed fiercely, pointing her sword ferociously at Delita. "We were nowhere NEAR Zeltennia when Ovelia died!"

"Don't try to fib your way out of it," Delita sneered, drying his eyes. "Now you shall answer for your crimes!"

"Delita, please!" Alma shouted. "Why are you doing this? Ramza's your best friend!"

"Friends?! Pshhhht!" Delita snorted, waving his hand. "Dr. Furkkes, get ready to release it!"

"Eh heh heh... Of course, master," Dr. Furkkes, who had been standing silently next to Delita, cackled with giddy laughter. "Now I'll make you all PLAY with my new pet! Eeee heee hee heee!!!"

"Delita, come on!" Ramza said. "We're best friends! I don't want to fight! I'm sorry about Ovelia! Can't we resolve this without bloodshed?"

"SILENCE, HERETIC!!!" Delita roared, his face going completely beet red. "FURKKES, RELEASE BYZANTINE!!!"

"At once, master! EEEE HEE HEE HEEE!!!" Furkkes laughed, opening the metal cage behind Delita. A bloodthirsty roar could be heard all the way back where the others were standing.

"My God, what was that?!" Orlandu exclaimed.

"I hope Ramza's all right..." Mustadio huffed.

"That jerk bard had better watch his back," Meliadoul muttered to herself.

"What was that?" Malak asked.

"...Nothing," Meliadoul said as she turned her back to the others.

Out from the cage sprang a hideous and demented creature. It had ram's horns, a lion's face, and six horrible tentacles with claws on the ends. It leaped out onto the deck of the ship that Ramza and his friends were on.

"Now, Byzantine, get rid of them!" Furkkes commanded.

"KILL!!! KILL ALL!!!" Byzantine roared. Its horrible, hairy feet stomped forward. Two of the tentacles shot out and wrapped themselves around Rafa and Alma.

"Gyarrrrrgh!" Rafa shouted.

"Brother, help!" Alma yelled.

"What goes around comes around!" Delita yelled to Ramza. "Now I'll kill your sister and one of your friends! THEN you'll see why I'm doing this!"

"No! I won't allow you to!" Agrias yelled, charging up and sending her sword straight through two of the beast's visible ribs. It roared in pain, and dropped Rafa and Alma on the deck.

"Thank you, Agrias," Rafa called.

"Yes, thanks!" Alma added.

"Thank me later," Agrias said. "We have a mutant to tame!"

"So! Ovelia's little bodyguard," Delita hissed. "I should have known you'd side with Ramza. No matter... With Ovelia gone there's no reason for you to be around, so I'll have Byzantine bump you off as well!"

"Man, you ain't so kindhearted as the church records say," Cinna said.

"And who're you, I ask as if I care?" Delita asked.

"Me?" Cinna asked, striking a pose. "I'm Cinna Garnomm, the most talented bard in Zeratul!"

"Cinna, quit posing and help us!" Alma yelled.

"Right. Sorry," Cinna apologized, and then pulled out one of the Chinese Zodiac stones. He held up the Dog Stone and suddenly there were six Cinnas surrounding the beast. "Your time's just run out, beasty boy!" the Cinnas said simultaneously. They all pulled out the Pig Stone and stomped their foot. Six devastating fissures ripped through Byzantine, bringing it to its knees.

"Doctor, take notes," Delita said. "You'd better do better with your next Lucavite."

"Yes, sir," Furkkes said, scribbling down words on a note pad, a small pencil clasped in his ancient hands.

Ramza finished the creature off with a sword strike through the stomach. The creature slumped over and vanished in a puff of smoke. "Come on, Delita," Ramza shouted. "I don't want to fight anymore! Let's sit down and sort things out!"

"Shut up!" Delita yelled. "Captain Flite, get them!"

"...Yes, sir," Flite said as he left Delita's presence and leaped onto the other ship's deck. He drew out his trusty sword, Sky Render, and faced the five friends. "Don't misunderstand," Flite said. "You have all earned my respect. But this is my job... Sorry, Agrias."

"Bring it on," Agrias growled.

"AERO SLASH!!!" Flite yelled charging through the group and sending them all airborne.

"Uwaaaa!!!" Rafa yelled as she flew up into the air.

"MBarrier!" Alma yelled, casting a spell of protection over herself.

"You lousy!..." Agrias yelled as she came back down to the ship deck face first.

"OWWW!!!" Cinna yelled as he landed squarely on his heiney. "That smarts, baby!"

"I understand that this is your job..." Ramza said as he fell from the sky. "...So understand that this is mine! ULTIMA!!!"

Ramza fired the huge blast of energy, but Flite spun his sword around like a fan and the whole spell was absorbed in the blink of an eye. Ramza was genuinely surprised.

Flite's poker face remained the same. "VOID SWORD!!!" he shouted, slashing and slicing through the adventurers.

"Heaven Bolt!" Rafa shouted, trying to knock Flite off balance. The random blasts didn't go anywhere near him.

"My fingers're too bruised to play anything..." Cinna groaned. "Sorry, guys..."

"Curses!" Agrias groaned. "I can't damage him..."

"I'm sorry, brother," Alma moaned. "I couldn't do anything..."

Flite stood dominant over the downed Beoulve. Suddenly, one of the Chinese Zodiac stones rolled out of Ramza's coat and into his hand; the Monkey Stone. Suddenly, Ramza became invisible. Flite looked around, confused.

"Sir, what do I do?!" he called to Delita.

"So, those are the Chinese Zodiac Stones..." Delita said. "...Flite, fall back for now!"

"What? But, sir..." Flite said.

Delita's face flushed. "Are you questioning my orders?!" he barked.

"I... No, sir!" Flite said, sheathing his sword. He leaped back over to Delita's boat, which began to pull out of the harbor.

"We'll see you again, Ramza," Delita growled. "Count on it! And don't think those stones of yours will go unnoticed either!"

Delita's ship sailed off, but on its way out of the harbor it fired several cannonballs to sink the other two ships. Friend and foe alike, those alive leaped off the ships and swam to shore.

"Flite..." Agrias growled. "Delita's got some mean guys working for him..."

"Where do ya know him from, Agrias?" Cinna asked.

"Flite and I were classmates at Gariland Academy," Agrias said. "I graduated before him, so I never found out what happened to him... I guess I know now..."

"They're worse than Elmdor's assassins..." Rafa said. "One's a swordsman, and the other's a mad scientist... But I didn't see the third kid do anything."

"Delita... What's wrong?... Why must we fight?..." Ramza asked himself.


	14. The Festival

**CHAPTER 14**

**THE FESTIVAL**

"Thank you so much for saving our town," the barkeep said as the group returned from the sinking armada ship. "Casualties are minimal, and our authorities are rounding up all of the remaining troops to deport them. Now we can get on with our festival!"

"Glad we could help," Ramza said. "Cinna, where shall we go next?"

"Hmm," Cinna said, pulling out his map. "The next city is across the desert, on Mount Cryo in the Everfrost Mountain Range. We should go there and see what's up."

"All right," Ramza said. "Everyone ready to go?"

"Why don't we spend the night here before we set out?" Mustadio said. "Everyone's pretty tired, and we'll at least be able to see the first night of the festival."

"Are you kidding?" Agrias asked. "Now that Delita's after us, we're officially on the lamb! We should strike out for the next town right away!"

"You've got a point, Agrias," Ramza said. "But Mustadio's right about everyone being tired."

"Plus, I think we gave Delita more than he expected," Alma said. "We can rest for at least one night."

"...Oh, fine," Agrias growled. "But don't come crying to me if we get nailed in our sleep!"

"Wonderful!" Reis exclaimed.

The festival was grand indeed. Dancers swept through the town square, performing buffoons waddled around everywhere, and at midnight the lighthouse launched a colorful barrage of fireworks into the clear night sky. Ramza and his friends watched the entire spectacle from various points in town.

"It's beautiful..." Reis said as she looked up into the rainbow-colored lights.

"Yes, but not as beautiful as its beholder, " Beowulf said, drawing her closer to him.

"Yuck," Agrias grumbled as she watched the two. "Get a room. Some of us want to keep our meals down!"

"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport," Mustadio said, jabbing her in the shoulder. "Let them do what they want."

"It's disgusting and embarrassing," Agrias said, frowning upon the lovers. "You'd never catch me doing that."

Mustadio rolled his eyes, and, deciding that Agrias was just going to sit there and not have fun, went over and watched the dancing act with Cloud, Orlandu and Meliadoul.

"So, what's up?" Mustadio asked as he plopped himself down beside Cloud.

"Well, it's an interesting dancing act..." Cloud said. "...But I honestly don't know what to make of it."

Mustadio watched for a while. On the stage, three devastatingly beautiful girls danced around in sequin-ornamented bikinis as they slid around and clung to poles.

"Pole dancers," Mustadio said. "You don't see that every day."

"It's a new style," Meliadoul said. "I'm sure it's just a fad."

Just then, a smattering of butterflies was released on the stage. The pretty girls danced around, while frog-like tongues shot forth from their open mouths and snapped up the bugs.

"...You see that even less," Orlandu said, his eyes bugging out. "...Strange, isn't it?"

"How do they do that?" Meliadoul asked.

"Sure they're pretty, but the tongue thing makes them even more interesting," Cloud said.

"Are you interested?" a hunchbacked old man asked Cloud. "I could introduce you to them if you'd like."

"Errr... No thank you," Cloud said, giving a polite wave with his hand.

"Smart boy," Meliadoul commented.

"Where'd he come from, anyway?" Mustadio asked, looking around.

* * *

"Hey, guys!" Ramza said as he approached Malak, Rafa and Alma after being at the snack stand. "Anyone up for cotton candy?"

"Ooh!" Malak said as he leaped up and accepted the goodies that Ramza offered. "My favorite kind of sweets! Thanks, Ramza!"

"Ahh, why not?" Alma asked. "I haven't had it in years." She took the wad that Ramza extended to her.

"I don't know..." Rafa said. "...Isn't that stuff bad for your teeth?"

Ramza eyed her with a sly grin. "Does that mean YOU don't want one?" he asked, holding out a big, fluffy, pink mound of the stuff. Rafa, at a loss for words, merely giggled slightly and accepted it, red creeping over her tan flesh like strawberry juice flowing over shortcake. Malak and Alma looked at each other and chuckled.

* * *

"I do not understand the concept of 'merrymaking,'" Worker No.8 said as he observed the festivities.

"Oh, it's pretty simple, tin man," Cinna said. "Just go wild and enjoy yourself!" Cinna started strumming on his lute and began to play, attracting an audience. "C'mon, Worker Man!" Cinna said. "Dance to my music!"

"...As you wish," Worker No.8 said, beginning to do something that looked like a cross between a shuffle and The Macarena. Several people threw money.

"I hope that's money thrown for the sake of talent and not for the sake of pity," Cinna grumbled as he wowed the crowd with his musical skills.

"Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your boooooty" Worker No.8 warbled.

"You call that dancing?" Meliadoul asked as she walked in on the duo. "Ugh. No talent at all."

"What do you expect?" Cinna asked. "He's a robot, Mel. I'm sure he hasn't had dancing lessons."

"He's a disgrace to dancing," Meliadoul grumbled.

"Really?" Cinna asked as his eyes narrowed in a playfully sly manner. "I bet you can't dance any better."

"Hey, I mastered the Dancer class!" Meliadoul protested. "Just you watch! Play a tango!"

"OK..." Cinna said as he struck up a light tango. Meliadoul began to dance very nicely. Worker No.8 continued to clunk about with no real method to his dancing.

"See?" Meliadoul asked as she continued her tango. "THIS is dancing."

"I see... I guess you proved me wrong, Mel," Cinna said as he smiled to himself.

* * *

"Hike.... hike... hike..."

"Argh! That's it! I can't take this any more!" Rad yelled angrily as he collapsed face-first on the sandy mountain path. "I'm gonna collapse if I see one more Grenade!"

"We should rest for tonight," Alicia said, sitting down next to Rad. She didn't have much choice in the matter, considering she was chained to him.

"I hate being chained up!" Lavian huffed as she sat down next to Rad. "I wish these stupid chains would break!"

Suddenly, a renegade firework from who knows where skyrocketed into view and landed right in front of them, exploding into all sorts of colors as it impacted. As the smoke cleared, Rad looked around. He and his friends were covered in burns and torn clothing, but the metal chains around their anchors had melted clean off.

"I'll be damned," Rad said. "Lavian, have you got a genie on you or something?"

"Whoever set off that thing," Lavian shouted into the night sky. "THANK YOU!!!!"

* * *

"Sir, there's unusual activity occurring at Konra," Flite said as he observed the port town with his binoculars. What was left of Delita's lead armada regiment was drifting about 3 miles off the coast.

"Let me see," Delita growled, taking the binoculars from Flite and looking. "Oh, it's just a celebration," he said. "It's of no importance. Let them celebrate. It'll be their last, anyway."

Delita turned and walked back towards his cabin. He stopped on the way and pointed to a girl Dancer. "You," Delita said. "In here. Now."

"Ummm... Y-yes, sir!" the Dancer said, blushing wildly and following Delita into his royal cabin.

Flite sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "How did I get myself into this?" he asked. "When I was in the Nanten army, I truly believed in our cause of fighting for Ovelia's ascension to the throne... But now... the Queen is dead, and I am just a captain in the legions of a church-endorsed egotist who doesn't respect his soldiers... What happened?"

"Poor guy," Olan said as he and Balmafula watched from behind some crates.

"Not all of Delita's troops are as rotten as himself," Balmafula answered. "Captain Flite... He could be our friend, if he weren't our enemy..."

"Still, it's a good thing we were on a different ship than the one Ramza sunk," Olan said. "Of course, I congratulate him heartily."

Olan and Balmafula silently watched the fireworks explode on the different shore and contemplated their next move.

* * *

After the parties ended, Ramza and company retired to the inn for the night. Considering the fact that the money situation was quite dire, they all shared the same room. People bedded down however they wanted, but the whole group did reach one agreement: no funny business.

"Rafa?" Ramza asked after he was sure everyone else was asleep.

"Mmm?" Rafa asked sleepily. "What, Ramza?..."

Ramza paused for a moment to chew over what he was thinking. "Thanks for coming along on this trip with me," he finally said.

"Mmm... You're welcome..." Rafa murmured, then promptly yawned and went back to sleep.

Ramza sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Sure, he liked Rafa as a friend, but he was starting to feel something surge inside of him... It may have just been the hormones acting up, but he was pretty sure he was harboring deeper feelings for the girl than mere friendship...

Many people claimed that Rafa and Malak were black, which wasn't really true. It's true that they were of a darker skin tone than the others; they had been called 'exotic' on several occasions... but they weren't black. They were just naturally more tan than other people. At most, Rafa's soft, caramel-tinted flesh and ebony-black hair were just not characteristics that many people in Ivalice showed. Rafa was as good as the rest of his friends, and it made Ramza cross to think of anyone thinking any less.

But Ramza yawned and turned over, facing her. How pretty she looked now, the darkness blanketing her, with her headband and hair cloth removed, immersed in sleep. He sighed and turned back to viewing the ceiling. He'd sort things out eventually, but just not now.


	15. Everfrost Peaks

**CHAPTER 15**

**EVERFROST PEAKS**

"(Yawn)... Good morning, Ramza!"

Ramza looked up from the tea he was brewing to see Alma walk down the stairs that connected the bar and the inn. Her hair was pretty mussed up, and she had some dark marks under her eyes. "Goodness, you're a mess!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, well staying up until 2:00 in the morning will do that to a person," Alma grumbled.

"We're setting out for the village in the Everfrost mountains," Ramza said. "I suggest you dress warmly."

"(YAWWWWWWN)... Whazzup?" Cinna asked as he sauntered into the room and plopped down in a chair. "I need to tune my lute. Hope ya don't mind."

"Hey Cinna," Ramza said. "Where's Worker No.8? I thought he was with you last night."

"Huh?" Cinna asked, looking up. "I think he's still in the village square, shakin' his booty."

"If he's trying to compete with me, he's won already," Meliadoul grumbled as she appeared. "Coffee, quick."

"I guess you didn't command him to stop," Alma muttered. "We'll go and get him after breakfast."

"Gooooood morning!" Rafa said as she cheerfully walked into the room.

"You're in a yipee-skippy mood today," Ramza said. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing," Rafa laughed. "I'm just in a good mood."

Ramza smiled lightly, then went back to brewing the tea.

"All right," Ramza said as the group finished breakfast and sat down in front of a large map on the wall. "We're here, at Konra," Ramza said, pointing to a part of the map. "We're going to go to the Everfrost Peaks," he pointed to a batch of mountains on the other side of the desert, "and climb up Mount Cryo and stay at the town on the top. Since we need to secure a route before everyone else comes, only five of us will go. Any volunteers?"

"I'll go," Cloud said. "I've been up icy slopes before."

"I'll come along as well," Agrias said. "Cloud'll need some help."

"I'm coming too," Mustadio said. "Mountains are one of my favorite places."

"That's a lame excuse," Agrias snorted.

"Oh, shove it," Mustadio growled back.

"Just so they don't kill each other, I'll go," Meliadoul said. "(Besides, I need a break from that crazy bard...)"

"I guess I'll go along," Malak said. "I've just been twiddling my thumbs since the Lighthouse."

* * *

So the group hiked across the blazing desert yet again, and when they reached the base of the mountain range, the five selected adventurers parted from the others and headed up the hills.

"Boy, we crossed the desert fast," Beowulf commented.

"It's because we already cleared it," Reis said. "It was a red sphere on the map the first time we went there, but now it's blue, so it's easier to get across."

"Okayyyy..." Beowulf said slowly.

"Good luck, Malak!" Rafa called.

"Don't worry, I'll be just fine," Malak said, waving back at his sister.

"Wait a second!" Cinna shouted as he ran up to them again. "Take this with you!"

He handed Mustadio a large weed-like plant cutting. "Errr..." Mustadio said. "...What is it?"

"That's a piece of Whisper Grass," Cinna said. "I have another piece. Since they were cut from the same plant, we can communicate over great distances. Contact us if you have trouble."

"OK, thanks!" Mustadio said. "We'll go scout the terrain out."

The party began its treacherous march up the slopes of the Everfrost Mountain Range.

* * *

"Whoo, it's cold..." Meliadoul muttered as she hugged herself.

"Why do you think they call them the Everfrost Mountains if they aren't cold?" Cloud asked. "We'd best keep moving."

After about three hours, the group had gone over the first set of mountains and were in the valley between the rows of frosty terra firma. "Well, we certainly did a bit of work to get here, didn't we?" Mustadio chuckled.

"Yeah," Malak said. Suddenly, his ears perked up. "...There's a snowstorm coming," he announced.

"Snowstorm?" Agrias asked. "Ridiculous. There isn't a cloud in the-"

Just then, the sky went black and a blizzard started up. Everyone glowered at Agrias, who shrugged sheepishly.

"Hurry, we have to find shelter!" Cloud called. "I saw a cave in the side of a mountain a few yards back!"

The five adventurers plodded forward until they stumbled into the ice cavern that Cloud had seen. "Well, not exactly a four-star hotel room, but it'll do," Meliadoul said as she sat down.

"Who new that freak blizzards could whip up so quickly?" Mustadio asked.

"Unghhh..." Agrias groaned. "I have a headache..."

"Are you OK?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Agrias muttered. "Just feels like what you get when you eat ice cream too fast..."

Just then, Agrias looked up and jumped. There, sliding across the ceiling, was some sort of chameleon-like creature. "Guys, look up!" Agrias said, looking down to draw her sword. But when she looked back up, the thing was gone.

"What happened?" Cloud asked.

"I saw something..." Agrias said. "I'm sure of it..."

"I suppose there could be some other monsters in here," Meliadoul said. "OK, let's all check around the cave and see if we can find anything."

"I'll head into that back area," Cloud said, pointing off into the distance. "You guys all chill for now."

"Bad pun," Agrias grumbled.

Malak pulled out the Whisper Grass Cinna had given him. "Malak to Cinna, Malak to Cinna, are you there?"

After a faint fizzling sound, Cinna's voice came out from the plant. "Malak, this is Cinna. Is everything all right?"

"Gyah! Look there!" Mustadio said, pointing at the wall. Meliadoul, Agrias and Malak looked too, and they also saw the THING sliding across the icy surface, still camouflaged.

"Cinna, there's some weird chameleon-like things crawling around this cave!" Malak said into the grass. "Know anything about 'em?"

"Chameleons?" Cinna asked. "No, but I'll check up on 'em... Sit tight. Is everyone OK so far? How's Meliadoul?"

"I'm just fine, not that it's any of your business," Meliadoul grumbled. "...Cloud hasn't come back yet. I'll go check on him."

"Careful," Agrias cautioned. "Those things could be back at any time."

Meliadoul gripped her Save The Queen and cautiously walked into the back of the cave. After walking about a yard in, she saw Cloud standing with her back to her, and he was face-to-face with two strange-looking chameleon snow monsters. He seemed to be talking to them in a strange language, and then they melted back into the ice and vanished.

"...Who were they?" Meliadoul asked as she came up behind Cloud.

Cloud eyed her with a confused look. "Who were who?" he asked.

"The things you were just talking to," Meliadoul said.

"I wasn't talking to anyone," Cloud said. "Are you feeling all right?"

Cloud walked back to the others, Meliadoul slowly following him, not putting down her sword.

"Snow Chameleons?" Ramza asked. "I've never heard of such a thing."

"I haven't either," Cinna said. "And I'm the one that lives here."

"...Hmmm..." Orlandu hummed as he picked up a wad of the snow and eyed it suspiciously. "There's something funny about this stuff," he said. "Worker No.8, run a scan on this stuff."

Orlandu dumped the snow in Worker No.8's chest compartment. "Scanning..." Worker No.8 said. "...Scans show heavy concentrations of water and Mosfungros."

"Mosfungros?" Cinna asked. "Uh-oh, that isn't good. Not good at all."

"Why?" Ramza asked. "I know what Mosfungus is, but I've never heard of Mosfungros."

"Mosfungros is a strong hallucinogenic," Cinna said. "If someone's exposed to it for as long as the scouts have been today, the effects can be up to 8 hours of hallucinations, most of them threatening. Plus, the fungus makes the victims paranoid and distrustful of others. Pairing that with the hallucinations means that our friends could end up splittin' each other in two!"

"Crap," Ramza said. "We've gotta tell them right away!"

"Well, I looked," Cloud said. "And I didn't see anything back there."

"He's lying," Meliadoul said. "I saw him talking with two of them."

"What're you trying to hide from us, Cloud?" Agrias asked.

"What's the deal?" Mustadio asked. "Talk!"

"I don't know WHAT you guys are talking about!" Cloud protested. "I didn't see anything of interest back there."

"We're not as dumb as we look," Malak said. "You may be from the future, but you can't fool us."

"I'm not trying to!" Cloud said. "Honestly!"

Suddenly, the Whisper Grass that Malak had discarded- it now lay at Cloud's feet- started to crackle with static. "Malak, Cloud, anyone, are you there?" Ramza's voice asked.

Cloud quickly dropped down and grabbed the grass. "Ramza, something's really wrong with the others," he said. "They think they're seeing some kind of monsters, and they're getting quite grumpy with me."

"Ramza, Cloud's lying!" Agrias growled. "We've all seen those chameleons! What's he trying to hide?"

"Chill out, Agrias," Ramza's voice said. "Listen, the snow you've been trekking through all day has some sort of fungus in it that's making you hallucinate. It's not toxic, and its effects will wear off eventually. Look, you have to stay in that cave until you stop seeing these things, OK?"

"What, you're in on this, too?" Mustadio asked. "I thought I trusted you, Ramza."

"Aw, geez," Ramza said. "Look, the stuff also makes you really paranoid," Ramza said. "You just have to trust me on this one. Have I ever lied to you guys before?"

"Ramza, I don't think I'm affected by this stuff," Cloud said. "But Agrias has a sword pointed at my throat, and I do believe she's going to kill me."

"One more word out of you and I'll split you in two!" Agrias snarled.

"Things are getting serious up there," Rafa said. "Cloud's in real trouble."

Ramza thought fast. "OK, guys, the jig's up," he said. "Here's the real story. We were trying to make friends with these Snow Chameleons, but since Cloud's the only one with the Talk Skill equipped right now, he was the only one we said could talk to them. That ice cave's their home, and they're a bit cranky that you've all stumbled in. Now, I need you to let Cloud talk to them. If he doesn't, they could kill all of you."

"..." Agrias said.

"Come on, Agrias," Ramza prompted. "What reason do I have to lie to you?"

Agrias paused for a moment, then sheathed her Rune Blade. Cloud stood up.

"OK, Chameleons," he called out to nobody. "My name is Cloud, and I'm here to talk with you. These people are my friends, and you don't need to hurt them. We come in peace-"

Just then, he whipped around and cast LV3Sleep on the others. They all flopped to the ground, sawing logs. "Thanks, Ramza," Cloud said into the grass.

"Yeah, I remembered that you had your Math Skills equipped instead of your Talk Skills," Ramza said. "Just stay with them until they wake up. They should be OK by then."

* * *

"Unghhhh..." Agrias groaned as she woke up. "What happened?"

"You and the others were hallucinating," Cloud explained.

"The Snow Chameleons?" Malak asked.

"There never were any," Cloud said. "And you all got very grumpy when I tried to convince you otherwise. Something about 'splitting me in two?'"

Agrias chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry," she said quickly.

"No biggie," Cloud said. "Let's keep going now."

"But what about the toxins?" Mustadio asked.

"Relax," Cloud said. "I've cast a spell that'll prevent it from harming you. Let's keep going."

The five friends emerged from the cave into a bright sun and continued up the next set of mountains.


	16. Icicle Inn

**CHAPTER 16**

**ICICLE INN**

"Whoo!" Beowulf huffed as he heaved himself up onto the peak. "If I never climb another mountain in my life, it'll be too soon!"

"Thanks for waiting for us, guys," Ramza said to his friends as the rest of the party joined Cloud, Meliadoul, Malak, Mustadio and Agrias at the entrance to the town at the top of Mount Cryo: Icicle Inn.

"Now where have I heard that name before?" Cloud asked.

"You OK?" Cinna asked Meliadoul.

"Yeah, I'm OK..." Meliadoul grumbled. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"Does it matter?" Cinna asked. "I just wanna be your friend, Mel."

"..." Meliadoul said, then turned away from the minstrel. This kind of behavior was normal for Meliadoul. After losing both her brother and her father to the Lucavi, she was feeling very insecure about her relationships with other people. She was afraid to let others get close to her for fear that one day, they, too, would disappear. This is what made her act so mean and bullying to the others, but she never would want to admit it. She liked being surrounded by her friends, but she worried that if she expressed her fear, they would mock her and lose respect for her. And her friends' respect is something Meliadoul did not want to lose.

"Brrr, my tush is frozen solid!" Reis whined as she hugged herself for warmth.

"Well, maybe if you'd wear thicker clothing," Mustadio suggested. "That silky gown isn't exactly the finest garment for winter travel."

"Stop bickering, you guys," Rafa said. "Just be glad we're here. Let's go check in at the inn and rest. That hike took it out of me."

"Yeah, we'd better go and warm up," Meliadoul said. "I'm turning into a friggin' popsicle."

* * *

The inn was a quaint little building that resembled a Swiss ski lodge, with a constantly-burning fire in the fireplace. "Now THIS I can get used to," Malak sighed as he sank back onto the couch.

"Hey, what's this?" Alma asked as she picked up a strange, metal box near the sink.

"That's a toaster," Cinna said. "You stick bread in it, and the toaster makes toast, which is a nice breakfast for cold days."

"But where does the bread go when the toast pops up?" Alma innocently asked, looking inside the object. Cinna rolled his eyes.

"What's this place?" Mustadio asked as he walked into a wooden room with a stove in the center. Suddenly, the door slammed shut and locked behind him.

"Err, that's the sauna," Cinna answered a little too late. Mustadio was already banging on the door and screaming for help.

"Oh, for goshsake," Agrias muttered, getting up and opening the door. Mustadio had already sweat so much that his clothing hung loose around him. He flopped over on the floor and just laid there for a while, wheezing and panting.

"All this new technology is nice," Rafa said. "It's quite comfortable. I could get used to living in this country..."

"Living here?" Malak asked.

"Why not?" Rafa pushed. "We're wanted heretics back home, and we don't really have a home anymore anyway. Why not start again somewhere new?"

"Hmmm..." Malak hemmed and hawed while munching on a Pop-Tart that Cinna had given him.

"Forget about the church and Delita for now," Meliadoul suggested. "Just sit back and enjoy where you are."

"Mel's right," Cinna said as he flopped down next to her. "Just relax."

"Get away from me," Meliadoul growled. Cinna got back up and walked to the other side of the couch.

"Yeah," Cloud said, leaning back on the couch. "This is about as far as we can get from any problems, up here on this mountain..."

The group just hung around for a few hours, playing cards and whatnot. At around 6:00, Worker No.8 announced that it was "time for the consumption of nutrients," or as most folks like to call it, dinner.

"Oh, crud," Agrias huffed as she shook the food bag. "We're out of peanut butter!"

"I'm sure the corner store sells it," Cinna said.

"I'll go get it," Ramza said, getting up. "Where is it, Cinna?"

"I'll come too, so you won't get lost," Cinna said. "Come on."

"Be back soon!" Mustadio called after them. "You know how cranky Agrias can get when she hasn't had her peanut-buttered rice cakes!"

"I'll show you CRANKY!!!" Agrias yelled, grabbing Mustadio and trying to shove his face into a pickle jar.

* * *

"Here's the corner store," Cinna said, pointing to a large supermarket. The huge words CALF FOODS were lit up on top of the store.

"Hold on," Ramza said. "Didn't we see this store in Konra?"

"It's a chain," Cinna said. "There's lots of them all over Zeratul, all owned by the same company."

"How about that..." Ramza chuckled, looking up at the sign again.

Cinna and Ramza walked into the store, grabbed some peanut butter and walked to the counter. "We have to pay for it up here," Cinna said. "...Err, have you got some Gil?"

Ramza pulled out 3 Gil from his wallet and handed it to Cinna. Cinna walked up to the counter and put the peanut butter down. There were no attendants at the counter. "...Hello, is anyone here?" Cinna asked. "We need to pay for this."

"...Is it safe?" a voice asked from below the counter.

"What?" Cinna asked. "...Look, we need to pay for this peanut butter."

"...Is it safe?" the voice asked again.

"Hooo boy," Cinna sighed. "This... is gonna take a while."

* * *

"Well, that only took about two hours," Ramza muttered. "I bet everyone's worried sick."

"Yeah, they probably think we were attacked by some church guys!" Cinna chuckled. "As if!"

"HALT!"

Cinna and Ramza stopped dead in their tracks as a man dressed in priestly robes and a troupe of four archers appeared. "You're that heretic, Ramza Beoulve!" the leader said. "I am Cardinal Cronstadt, and I'm here to send you to Hell, where you belong!"

"...You were saying?" Ramza asked as he eyed Cinna with a cross look.

"Hey, how could I know?" Cinna asked, putting down the groceries and pulling out his lute. "Let's rumble!"

"Archers, ATTACK!" Cronstadt shouted. A torrent of arrows fell towards the two battlers.

"Tangoooo!" Cinna shouted and strummed a few chords. The arrows were deflected by some strange force and landed helplessly in a snowdrift.

"Five to two..." Ramza said. "Not exactly fair, is it?"

"Ramza!!!"

Surprised, Ramza looked over the Cardinal and his arrow-slingers to see Alma, Rafa and Orlandu running towards them. "Hey, guys!" he called.

"What?!" Cronstadt yelled. He turned to his archers. "Fix them, too!" he shouted.

Arrows started to spew at the newcomers, but Orlandu knocked all the projectiles aside with a well-timed Crush Punch. "Where were you gentlemen?" Orlandu called.

"Long story," Ramza muttered. "We'll tell you later! HYAH!" Ramza's Chaos Blade shattered one of the archers' bows in a vicious Weapon Break.

"RUMBAAAAAA!" Cinna yelled, playing a chord so rotten that everyone had to stop moving for a minute and cover their ears.

"Take this!" Alma yelled as her Gold Staff knocked an archer unconscious.

"ASURA!" Rafa called out as the golden blasts knocked the remaining two archers off.

"Now for you..." Orlandu and Ramza said at the same time, and slashed the cardinal on both sides. He sank to the ground, wheezing.

"Not bad," Cronstadt chuckled. "But... You won't beat us! I shall report this to the new High Priest!" He vanished in a white flash.

"Ramza, Cinna, are you OK?" Alma asked.

"Yeah, we're fine," Ramza said.

"But the peanut butter's frozen solid because I left it sitting in the snow too long!" Cinna exclaimed as he picked up the jar and smacked it against the brick wall; it shattered like glass.

"Back to the store, I guess," Alma said.

"Oh, not again..." Ramza groaned as he sweatdropped.

"Why? What's the problem?" Rafa asked.

* * *

"Hello," Cinna said to the vacant counter. "We need to pay for another jar of peanut butter."

"...Is it safe?" the voice asked.

"See?" Ramza asked. Alma, Rafa and Orlandu sweatdropped and hung their heads.

* * *

"I can see why Ajora fell at the hands of Ramza," a dark figure said as eight figures watched the group in their crystal ball. "...He is quite formidable."

"I'm not sure if the others can hold him for long," a second figure said. "We may have to intervene."

"Of course," the leader said. "My faithful third-in-command, go and wait for them in the windy valley. My loyal second-in-command, go and hide in Berkana and wait for them to arrive. The rest of you, spread throughout the country and attack when Ramza comes... I shall guard the temple, in the company of my assistants."

"You've got that right, boss," a girl's voice said as two more shadowy figures appeared.

"...Alive, Draco?" a second girl's voice asked. "You're so kind."

"Watch your mouths or I'll put you back where I found you," the leader growled. "Even with your enhancements, you're still no match for me."

"Thanks for the upgrades, boss," the first girl said. "But we've got a score to settle..."

"And we'll do things OUR way..." the second finished. They both vanished into the darkness.

"Fine," the leader said. "Just make sure that you do it."

"We must not allow Ramza to resurrect the girl," another figure growled. "She is the key to our reviving the master. We need a fresh body killed in cold blood."

"Of course," the leader said. "Only when we are all defeated can he revive the fallen Queen. And we won't let that happen, will we?"

"Draco, should we consider the Ivalice King a threat?" another shadowy figure rasped.

"No," the leader said. "Remember, it was Hashmalum and our Lucavi brethren that got Delita to the place he is today... He's a high card in OUR deck, my friends."

"Still," yet another shadow beeped. "It was highly improbable that Ramza defeated all the Lucavi AND Ajora. We must not underestimate him, or his comrades."

"Sound advice, Astro," the leader said. "...And woe to those that do underestimate him!"


	17. Frost Forest

**CHAPTER 17**

**FROST FOREST**

"Morning, guys," Ramza said groggily as he plopped down at the breakfast table next to Mustadio.

"Morning, Ramza," Mustadio said. "I'm the only one awake."

"Huh? OK..." Ramza muttered. He took one sip of his hot tea and was instantly awake. "Huh, where is everyone?" he asked.

"As I just said, I'm the only one up," Mustadio said. "When the sun doesn't rise until 8:00 AM, folks have a tendency to sleep in."

"Mornin'..." Cinna said sleepily as he came out of his room. "Nice evening, ain't it?"

Mustadio and Ramza just looked at each other.

"Cinna," Ramza said after he was sure Cinna was fully awake. "Where do we go next?"

"The next place we should visit is Rose Trade Town," Cinna said. "It's a tropical area below the mountain range on the eastern sea coast."

"Sounds good," Mustadio said. "Shall we go then?"

"Before we get to it, we have to travel through Frost Forest," Cinna said. "It's a frozen slab of woods where the ice never thaws out. Some people say it's haunted, others just say that the climate doesn't affect it. All say it's cursed."

"Also, before we go we should wake everyone else up," Ramza pointed out.

"Oh, yeah... I forgot," Mustadio chuckled.

* * *

After everyone was pretty much awake, Cinna repeated what he had told Ramza and Mustadio. "Haunted, huh?" Malak asked. "Sounds like a challenge I wouldn't pass up."

"If it takes us closer to finding those Chinese Zodiac Stones, I'm all for it!" Agrias said. "Let's go!"

"Hold on," Alma said. "Lemme equip some Spike Shoes so I don't slip."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea," Ramza said. "Do we have enough Spike Shoes for everyone?"

"Nope, just my pair," Alma replied.

"I guess we'll have to rough it," Cinna said. "Of course, there IS an equipment shop here, but..."

"...Is it safe?" the clerk asked, staying hidden behind the counter.

"I see what you mean," Ramza said as everyone sweatdropped. "Let's just go."

* * *

"Cold, cold, cold..." Alicia stammered as she tramped through the icy forest.

"Why couldn't we have stopped at the town on the mountain?" Lavian asked crossly.

"I saw some church guys up there," Rad said. "They might have sent us right back to Nodyl's chain gang, and that's the absolute last thing I want."

"God forbid that happens," Lavian responded. "We might as well- WHAAAAA!!!!"

Lavian slipped on a patch of ice. She grabbed Alicia, who grabbed Rad, and they all went sliding downhill until they hit a tree. Three feet of thick snow landed on top of them and buried them. They all popped out covered in the cold, fluffy substance.

"Remind me never to go skiing again," Rad groaned.

"If you remind me, too..." Alicia muttered.

* * *

"What's he doing? Can you see anything?" Balmafula asked as she and Olan peered down into Furkkes's ship laboratory through a grate in the ceiling. Delita, Captain Flite, Admiral Miraz and Furkkes were holding a meeting.

"Shhhh..." Olan shushed his companion. "Let me listen..."

"Is the next Lucavite ready, Furkkes?" Delita asked crossly as the ancient scholar poured different chemicals into test tubes.

"Eh heh heh... Of course, master," Furkkes cackled. "Your next dispenser of carnage and death will be ready to walk the earth within the hour."

"Wonderful," Delita said. "May I ask what you put together?"

Furkkes's eyes gleamed with a sickening light. "I mixed some Queklain DNA together with some Hashmalum and Velius DNA and created an amazing new creature. His name is Touga."

Furkkes stepped back to reveal the huge container that housed the vile accident of science. Delita's face lit up in a disgusting manner as he observed the beast writing about in the jar.

"What about loyalty?" Delita asked. "Will he obey?"

"I preprogrammed the mission into his mind," Furkkes snickered. "Trust me, master. He's totally reliable."

Miraz walked up to the tube and looked at the creature, a look of cross concern appearing on his usually stone face. "What is your mission?" he asked.

The beast looked up and started to struggle, forcing Miraz to step back quickly. "FIND RAMZA!!!" the creature howled. "FIND RAMZA! KILL RAMZA!!! KILL RAMZA FRIENDS!!!"

"A bit primitive, but he gets the idea," Delita chuckled. "Good work, Furkkes. You're making Ivalice proud."

"Eee hee hee... Thank you, master," Furkkes cackled.

As Flite and Miraz left the room, Flite turned to his fellow officer. "This is getting out of hand..." he said. "He's got Furkkes manufacturing awful demons in there! Pretty soon, the entire army will be obsolete... or dinner for Furkkes's creations."

"It is troubling," Miraz agreed. "However, I'm sure King Delita has good intentions."

"Really?" Flite asked. "Don't you remember how he attacked Konra until Ramza showed up? He's obsessed with finding Beoulve, and that worries me. His obsession could be disastrous for my men. He may not care about my soldiers, but I do."

"Delita found me in the slums of Dorter and raised me almost like a son," Miraz argued. "He's a kind, caring man... but he has changed since the queen died, and I do agree that this obsession with the heretic is quite unhealthy. What do you propose we do?"

"Just watch your back," Flite warned. "I've noticed that every time Furkkes makes another one of those Lucavites, one of my soldiers goes missing. I'm not sure if there's a connection yet, but..."

"I'll be careful, Roderick," Miraz said. "The same goes for you, too."

"Just keep an eye on the king," Flite said. "This could be the beginning of something very bad for all of us..."

"...Man, this is getting intense," Olan said.

"We should be on our toes, too," Balmafula said. "No telling if they'll start looking for us."

* * *

"Awww, man, why'd snow have to be so dang cold?!" Mustadio asked as the party stomped through the snowy paths of the Frost Forest.

"Maybe if you'd put on a coat, you wouldn't be freezing now," Agrias muttered.

"Jeez, would you guys quit fighting?!" Meliadoul asked. "Just shut up and enjoy the scenery!"

Meliadoul was right about the scenery; it certainly was beautiful. Snow covered everything like a blanket with no footprints save a few on the marked paths. The sky was gray, and the white snowflakes drifted down gently, like leaves falling from autumn trees.

"She's right. It's great scenery," Cinna agreed. Meliadoul sighed crossly and kept walking.

"...What're you doing, Worker No.8?" Reis asked the giant robot.

"I am analyzing these," Worker No.8 said as he plodded along with his arms outstretched, catching the flakes as they floated down. "I am going to prove that there are two identical snowflakes in this world."

"Since when does Worker No.8 have hobbies?" Beowulf asked.

"Such a nice little romp through the woods," Orlandu said. "This place looks a lot like out behind Zeltennia Church's ruins in the wintertime, wouldn't you agree, Ramza?"

"What?" Ramza asked, looking up. "Oh, yeah..."

"...You've never been to the Zeltennia Church ruins," Orlandu said, his eyebrow raising. "Ramza, is something troubling you?"

"What? Errr..." Ramza stammered.

"It's OK," Rafa said. "You can tell us."

"I had a dream about Delita stabbing someone to death in the Zeltennia ruins," he said finally. He didn't want to worry the others, so he lied about the next part. "I'm not sure who... I didn't get a clear picture."

"I'm sure the answer will come to you in time," Alma said. "In the meantime, why don't we-"

Just then, Alma slipped on the ice and went sliding down the hill (the forest was on the side of the mountain, after all. You expected a straight path?) and she dragged all the others with her. She grabbed Ramza, who grabbed Rafa, who grabbed Orlandu, who grabbed Worker No.8, who grabbed Meliadoul, who grabbed Beowulf, who grabbed Reis, who grabbed Mustadio, who grabbed Malak, who grabbed Agrias, who grabbed Cloud, who grabbed Cinna. It was an ice train of people sliding downhill.

"WHAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Cinna yelled.

"GYAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!!!!" Mustadio cried.

"KYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Meliadoul screamed.

"WHEEEEE!!!!" Beowulf cheered.

They slid downhill for quite a ways until they slid off a high cliff and tumbled into a huge pile of fluffy snow. White stuff flew everywhere.

"Unghhh..." Ramza groaned, sitting up. "Is everyone OK?"

"I've got snow in my ear..." Agrias grumbled as she smacked herself in the head a few times in a futile attempt to dislodge the fluff.

"That was fun!" Reis said. "I want to do it again!"

"No way, Jose," Meliadoul muttered. "Once is enough. Gyaah! There's snow down my back!"

Cinna emerged from the snow. "Well, we know where Mr. Freeze is," he chuckled. "Where're Batman and Poison Ivy?"

"We're gonna get letters," the network censor said as she emerged from the snow.

"Where'd you come from?" Rafa asked.

Just then, the abominable snow man came in. "Oh, look, a little bunny rabbit!" he said, picking up the censor. "I will hug him and pet him and call him George and love him and play with him..."

The snow man walked off with the censor and disappeared. "...That made no sense at all," Agrias said.

"Ahh, what can you do?" Cloud asked, shrugging.

The group continued on for a while, until they reached a clearing in the forest. "Whew, looks like a natural rest stop," Alma said. "Should we rest?"

"Only if you rest the eternal one, youth..."

Everyone looked around, trying to see where the voice was coming from. "Who are you?" Ramza asked. "Show yourself!"

Suddenly, two candelabras with blue and purple-flamed candles appeared on the sides of the clearing and a huge circle with a drawing of a sheep inside appeared in the snow. A mechanical centaur-like ewe came charging out of the forest. It had a huge cannon attached to its right shoulder, and it looked mean.

"Took you long enough to get here, boys," the robot said. "Now I'll squash you all at once!"

"Is this a spirit that haunts this forest?" Rafa asked.

"No, it's a Mechannite," Agrias said. "Looks like a sheep to me."

"Baramewe is my name," Baramewe said. "It will be a great honor to slay you, Ramza Beoulve."

"Battle formation!" Ramza shouted. Ramza, Cloud, Agrias, Mustadio and Rafa came forward to face the mechanical monster.

"SHEEP CANNON!" Baramewe shouted, firing her huge cannon. The blasts missed the attackers and hit everyone else. They all sank into a deep sleep.

"What the?!" Mustadio asked.

"She's got 'em all counting sheep!" Cloud exclaimed. "...Pardon the word play."

"You're next!" Baramewe said as the cannon locked on to the attacking party.

"Not if I can help it!" Agrias shouted. "CRUSH PUNCH!"

The attack knocked Baramewe back a few feet, but it didn't stop the cannon from firing. This time, a huge blast of ice magic came from the cannon.

"That cannon kind of reminds me of Balk's Blaze Gun," Mustadio said. "C'mon, let's shear this sheep! LEG AIM!"

Mustadio blasted Baramewe's front leg, but she just reared up on her hind legs and continued the fight using her arms and back legs (she was kind of like a centaur sheep... Weird mental picture, huh?). She charged forwards and body-slammed Mustadio. He flew backwards and crashed into a tree.

"Hey, pick on someone your own size!" Rafa yelled. "ASURA!"

The random blasts eventually hit Baramewe and knocked her backwards a bit. She countered by firing her shoulder cannon and burying Rafa under 6 feet of snow.

"Rafa!" Ramza shouted. He charged Baramewe and unleashed a nasty Repeating Fist attack upon her. She staggered backwards a little, but then charged forward and sent Ramza flying with her horns.

"Leave my friends alone!" Cloud yelled, casting his Meteorain spell and pummeling Baramewe with asteroids. She quickly shrugged it off and knocked him over as well.

"That does it!" Agrias growled angrily. She grabbed Mustadio off the ground and slapped him. "Snap out of it!" she yelled. "Help me fight!"

"I wasn't unconscious," Mustadio argued. "Why'd you slap me?!"

"Just shut up and help me beat her!" Agrias said.

"Hold on, Rafa, I'm coming," Ramza said as he dug through the huge snow mound Rafa was buried under. He soon found her and helped her to her feet. "You OK?" he asked.

"(ACHOO!)... I'b fide," Rafa sniffled, well aware she had caught a cold.

"That's what you get for wearing tropical clothes around here," Ramza scolded gently. Rafa sneezed and chuckled sickly.

"Mustadio, go get 'er from the left while I attack from the right!" Agrias shouted.

"Roger that," Mustadio said, leaping off to the left.

"What trickery is this?!" Baramewe asked angrily, firing her cannon at first Mustadio, then Agrias. The blasts were easily avoided.

"Ready?" Mustadio called.

"Yeah!" Agrias shouted, a slight smile appearing on her face.

"WAVE FIST!!!" Mustadio yelled, firing a blue sphere from his knuckles.

"HOLY EXPLOSION!!!" Agrias shouted, launching divine rays from the tip of her sword. The two attacks zoomed in from both sides and started a chain reaction that defeated Baramewe. She slumped to the snowy ground.

"I may have failed, but you won't live to see Ovelia!" she growled. Then she exploded, and shrapnel flew everywhere. The Sheep Zodiac Stone lay in the snow where Baramewe had fallen.

"Unghhh..." Alma groaned as she sat up. "...What happened?"

"Baramewe cast a sleeping spell on you guys," Ramza explained. "Are you all OK?"

"Yeah," Cinna said, getting up and dusting himself off. "Hey, that's the Sheep Stone, isn't it? That one allows you to emit hypnotic rays from your eyes to hypnotize your enemies into doing your bidding. A pretty useful one, if I do say so myself.

"Fantastic," Agrias said. "Hey, Mustadio, you did pretty good back there..."

"What? Well, thanks..." Mustadio chuckled.

"I mean, for a total wimp," Agrias finished with a jeer.

"Oh, yeah?! Well, I didn't see YOU take any hits!" Mustadio said. "I was friggin' slammed into a tree and I'm still standing! I dare ya to call me a wimp again!"

"I'll take that dare!" Agrias taunted. "Wimp! Wimp! Wimp!"

"Should we stop them?" Alma asked.

"Nahh," Orlandu said. "That's just their way of expressing friendship."

The group enjoyed a long laugh while Agrias and Mustadio verbally assaulted each other for the next half hour.


	18. Rose Trade Town

**CHAPTER 18**

**ROSE TRADE TOWN**

"Ahh, here we are!" Cinna said as the party emerged from the forest into a surprisingly green meadow.

"What the?!" Agrias asked. "But the forest is all snowy and icy! How is this place so lush?"

"I told you the forest was cursed," Cinna said.

"Boogie boogie boogie!" Mustadio jeered at Agrias.

"Shut up!!!" she growled, punching him in the shoulder.

"Is that Rose Trade Town?" Rafa asked, pointing off at a modest-sized town about a mile away. This one, like Porta Vista, had skyscrapers.

"Rose Trade Town is famous for its botany and love of flora," Cinna said. "It's got the most beautiful gardens in all of Zeratul.

"Hmm, maybe we'll find some useful healing herbs there," Reis said. "We're all out of Antidotes."

"Yeah, those toxic garter snakes we fought at Doomsday Mesa really took it out of us," Malak chuckled.

"Very funny," Meliadoul scolded. "There's no such place! You're just trying to cover up the fact that you fell on the medical sack and broke them all!"

"Will you hush up?!" Malak cried, covering Meliadoul's mouth with his hand.

"Well, at least we're all still in a good mood," Ramza said. "Come on, let's go find a place to stay for the night."

* * *

"Keep up the pace, men!" Captain Flite shouted as he marched his troops along the grassy knoll. "We're to arrive at Rose Trade Town by tomorrow morning!"

"Yes, sir!" All of Flite's soldiers shouted in unison.

King Delita chuckled to himself at hearing how well-trained Flite's commandos were. "Of course, we probably won't need them once dear Touga is unleashed," he said to Furkkes.

"Uweee heee heee..." Furkkes cackled. "We DEFINITELY won't need them."

The huge, metal crate being carried along by nervous Chocobos lurched back and forth, rabid growls and froth shooting out from the bars on occasion.

"Save your hatred for Ramza," Delita shouted to the beast. "You'll need to avenge your predecessor as well."

"GRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Touga roared from inside the cage. Flite sighed wearily.

"What're they up to now?" Balmafula asked as Olan and she crouched behind a bush and watched the grim procession.

"We'd better keep following 'em..." Olan said. "Come on!"

* * *

"Here we are!" Cinna said. "Welcome to the most beautiful land of commerce on the continent!"

It was indeed quite attractive. Flowers grew everywhere- in window boxes, in cracks in the street, in several large gardens... The place looks like it was one with nature.

"Amazing..." Ramza managed to choke out.

"It's so beautiful..." Alma said.

"Oh, man, wait'll my allergies kick in," Mustadio complained.

"Shut up! You're ruining it," Agrias growled.

"Never in all my years have I seen such a spectacle," Orlandu said as he gazed at the scene.

"And this is just the ugly part of town," Cinna chuckled. "Come on, we'll go to the inn and rest."

* * *

The Inn was a large hotel called the PICKLED PONY.

"Ewww, who comes up with these names?" Alma asked.

The party got checked in and then decided to split up and explore the city.

"I'm going to go spend some time in the garden," Rafa said. "I love sitting around flowers."

"I'm going to find a post office and mail my buddies in Ivalice to show 'em that I'm still alive and kicking!" Mustadio chuckled.

"Maybe I'd better do that, too," Agrias said. "A lot of my friends at the Royal Family's Knight Depot think I'm long dead."

"Imagine their surprise when a postcard saying 'wish you were here' appears in their mailbox," Malak chuckled.

"I'm going shopping!" Reis cheered.

"Count me in!" Meliadoul and Alma said almost at the same time.

"Me too!" Cloud said. "Unlike many men, I enjoy shopping."

Everyone looked at him. "...I'm NOT gay," Cloud protested. "See, here's a picture of my girlfriend!"

He held out the picture, and most of the guys' eyes bugged out. "Woah, you aren't gay all right..." Beowulf laughed.

"Dark hair..." Ramza swooned. "I get a kick out of dark hair."

"Doesn't she need a back brace?" Orlandu asked.

"I bet every time she stretches, that little shirt of hers snaps clean off!" Mustadio chuckled.

"How'd you know?" Cloud asked, puzzled.

"I read this," Mustadio said, pulling out a large stack of papers labeled Final Fantasy 7.5.

"Hey, this isn't the writer's first FF sequel, you know," Meliadoul said to the readers.

"I personally liked Final Fantasy 9.5," Agrias said, pulling out a second stack of papers.

"I'm gonna leave before an argument heats up," Ramza said, turning the other way and following Rafa's trail to the garden.

* * *

So the group split into a few groups; Reis, Meliadoul, Alma and Cloud went shopping, Rafa, Ramza, Cinna and Worker No.8 went to the public gardens, and everyone else just kind of wandered around town in small parties.

"Wow, these flowers smell great!" Rafa said as she inhaled another batch of fragrances from some roses. "I wish I could grow these kinds of flowers back at Riovanes, but not much grows there..."

"Flowers are always nice to sit around," Ramza said. "Sometimes it helps me to clear my mind when I'm just sitting in a flower garden."

Cinna hummed a key and started to strum on his lute. It was a slow, somber tune that sounded slightly medieval. Worker No.8 just sat there, its red eyes unblinking.

"I don't get why this guy follows me around," Cinna said. "He doesn't do much else."

"He likes your music," Ramza said. "Mustadio says Worker No.8 has very sensitive hearing systems, and apparently he enjoys being around pleasant music."

"I see..." Cinna said, continuing to strum thoughtfully.

"Maybe you could talk about that dream you mentioned in the forest now," Rafa said. "I'll listen."

"Well," Ramza said. "It went like this..."

* * *

"Wow, this place is paradise!" Reis cheered as her eight shopping bags dangled from her arms. "Where should we go next?!"

"Reis, what're you going to do with all that stuff?" Alma asked. "You're not thinking of hauling it all around, are you?"

"Why not?" Reis asked impishly.

"Hoo boy..." Meliadoul wheezed. "We've created a monster."

"Lemme see..." Cloud said, looking over his list. "...Yup, I got everything I needed. I'm going to go and find the others now."

Just then, a familiar person appeared from behind a building.

"Wanna buy a flower? They're only a Gil," the flower girl asked.

"Jeez, you flora vendors've got my number, don't you?" Cloud muttered, forking over a coin.

* * *

"Man, what a great city," Agrias said as she walked along behind Mustadio and Orlandu.

"It would be nicer if we had a map," Orlandu muttered. "We're hopelessly lost."

"LOST?!" Agrias yelled. "Whaddya mean 'lost?!' Mustadio, this is your fault! You have no sense of direction!"

"MY fault?!" Mustadio asked angrily. "Why is it always MY fault when we get lost?! And if I have no sense of direction, why are you still following me?!"

"Errr..." Agrias hesitated for a minute. "I'm not following you! I'm just taking the same route! There's a HUGE difference!"

"Fine. Do what you want," Mustadio muttered. "Come on, Orlandu, let's go hook up with Ramza and Cinna."

"If we can find them," Orlandu groaned.

* * *

"Ah, nothing like a nice drink to relax your nerves," Beowulf said as he and Malak downed their beverages in the local pub, the OX'S SPLEEN.

"Yeah..." Malak said. "Hey Beowulf, can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot," Beowulf said.

"You think Ramza has a thing for Rafa?" Malak asked.

"What makes you think that?" Beowulf asked.

"Well, I've seen the way they look at each other once in a while, and it makes me wonder..."

"Relax," Beowulf said. "If they are falling for each other, I can't think of a nicer couple. Besides, it's not bad, is it? You and Ramza are good friends, right?"

"...Sort of," Malak said. "Ahh, what'm I saying? It's her decision anyway. Come on, let's go find 'em and tease them!"

On the way out of the pub, Malak collided with an 18 year-old boy. "Excuse me," he said, and Beowulf and he kept walking.

"Well, that was rude," Rad grumbled as he, Alicia and Lavian walked into the bar.

* * *

"So that's what happened..." Rafa said as she thought over what Ramza had told her. Cinna had been listening intently as well. "You know, judging by the clothes she was wearing and the facts that she called out to Agrias and you for help, I'd say that was Ovelia again."

"What does she want this time?" Ramza asked, digging out the Chinese Zodiac stones the group had found already. "We're doing the first thing she asked for. What more does she want?"

"She may want you to know the truth," Cinna said. "It sounds like in her last moments, she figured everything out." He strummed on his lute some more. "It must be a strange feeling to be alive and well one minute and dead the next. I wonder what it's like to die?" Then he quieted and went back to playing his music. Things were silent for a moment.

Rafa shook her head. "I'm sure everything will be made clear eventually," she said, patting Ramza on the shoulder. "Just don't give up."

"Thanks," Ramza said. Rafa went back to admiring the flowers. Ramza looked down at the stones in his hands. There were five of them... Seven more Mechannites to battle, seven more stones to win, and each battle more difficult than the one before. This made Ramza realize how glad he was that he had only had to duke it out with just a fraction of the Lucavi monsters that could have emerged from the Zodiac Stones of Ivalice. Ramza shuddered when he recalled the seemingly ordinary people that had become beasts right before his eyes... Cardinal Draclau had become Queklain, Wiegraf had become Velius, Elmdor had become Zalera, Dycedarg had become Adramelk, and Vormav had become Hashmalum... Ramza wondered what other beasts could have emerged from the stones, if given the chance...

Suddenly, a loud explosion shook him out of his thoughts. He looked up and noticed that a huge explosion had taken out a chunk of the building next to the garden. "What the?!" he asked as he stood up.

The next thing Ramza saw was a bunch of people fleeing in terror. "Ramza, something's up!" Cinna said, jumping up and looking towards the explosion. "Let's go scope it out!"

"Yes!" Ramza said.

Rafa, Ramza, Cinna and Worker No.8 rushed through the panicking crowd until they arrived at the scene.

Orlandu was lying on the ground, face down and groaning as he struggled to get up. Malak lay to the side, out cold. Behind him were two Chemists and a Samurai, all bearing the crest of Ivalice on their uniforms. "Malak! Orlandu! Hmmm... I think I know who's causing trouble," Rafa growled.

"So, you came after all..."

Ramza and company looked up. Captain Flite stepped out from behind the Chemists. "I expected you to show up. You'd never abandon your comrades, especially Thunder God Cid."

"Dude, you're just a big bully, punkin' out on an old guy!" Cinna shouted. "Whyn't ya pick on someone your own age?!"

"I did not hurt him," Flite said. "The Count is simply shocked from our surprise attack. He'll be fine. I was merely trying to get your attention."

"Hmm?" Ramza asked, his right eyebrow raising.

"I have nothing against you, but the King's instructions were clear," Flite said. "I must get your attention and allow Dr. Furkkes to ready his newest creation."

"Newest creation?" Rafa asked. "I don't like the sound of this."

"Fancy meeting you here, Ramza!" Delita said as he walked out from behind a building, with Dr. Furkkes and a huge cage behind him. "Now I'll just kill you and I'll have nothing else to worry about."

"What happened to you, Delita?" Ramza asked. "You used to be so vibrant and peaceful, but ever since Fort Zeakden-"

"SILENCE!" Delita yelled, his face going red. "You know too much, Ramza. That's why you have to die."

"Come on, Delita," Ramza pushed. "Teta and Ovelia would both be upset by your current actions. Why must we fight? We aren't enemies."

"Shut up!" Delita yelled. "Furkkes, release Touga!"

"Eeehh heee heee..." Furkkes cackled. "At once, master!"

Furkkes pulled on a chain, and the cage snapped open. A huge, four-clawed lion with a second fanged mouth in its stomach lunged out and confronted the party.

"Meet Touga, my latest Lucavite!" Furkkes laughed. "And once he's through with you, I'll just collect samples of your DNA to make my creations stronger!"

"Delita, where'd you find this guy?!" Ramza asked. "He's insane!"

Delita obviously wasn't listening. "DESTROY THEM, TOUGA!!!" Delita roared, pointing his sword at Ramza. A cold smile pierced his face.

"GRAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Touga roared, slashing at Ramza with his four claws and biting with both mouths.

"Let's help Ramza," Rafa shouted to Cinna.

"You got it, baby," Cinna said, grabbing the Chinese Zodiac Stones that Ramza had dropped. He held up the Snake Stone and a green sphere appeared around him. He charged at Touga. "Hey buddy! You want some of this?!"

"Ah! The Chinese Zodiac Stones," Delita mused. "Touga, once you've killed them, bring those stones to me!"

"RAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!" Touga roared, lunging at Cinna. One of his arms scratched the barrier and he gave a roar of pain. He reeled backwards and turned an interesting shade of green. "Yeah! It's poisoned!" Rafa cheered.

"Allow me to help," Orlandu said as he stood up. "NIGHT SWORD!"

Orlandu drained some of the monster's energy to heal himself, and then he attacked with a vicious Split Punch, which knocked Touga back a bit.

"Thanks, guys," Ramza said as the beast dropped him. He took his Chaos Blade and slashed Touga's belly. Black blood oozed out. The monster roared in a murderous rage.

"Keep it coming," Rafa said, grabbing the Monkey Stone and vanishing. Touga looked around in confusion, only to be smacked and stabbed and prodded with Rafa's invisible rod blows. Finally, she reappeared next to Ramza, and Touga sunk to his knees.

"Battle Mode," Worker No.8 said, opening his chest compartment. "Blazer Cannon!" A red ray shot through Touga, knocking him over and spattering gore all over the street. Mustadio had upgraded the robot's weapon systems so his attacks were stronger and he wouldn't damage himself when attacking.

"Hit him as much as you want, it won't help!" Delita laughed cruelly. Touga stood up, and all the gaping wounds suddenly closed up. He became whole and good as new in no time. He roared triumphantly.

"You can't win!" Furkkes cackled. "Prepare to be ripped apart and born again as part of the body of my next Lucavite!"

"No way," Ramza growled. He reached around behind him and his hand closed on the Sheep Stone. Ramza allowed a clever smile to escape, and stood up. He held the stone out and leered at Touga. "You're in my power, Touga!" he shouted, and hypnotic rays started emerging from his eyes and sinking into Touga's. Suddenly, Touga turned around and charged at Delita!

"What the hell?!" Delita yelled. "Flite, stop him!"

"Yes, sir," Flite said, leaping in front of the beast and drawing his Sky Render. "VOID SWORD!!!" he yelled as he slashed away. Touga split into tiny pieces and was blown all over the battleground. As the gobs of flesh fell to earth, they popped and expelled foul-smelling smoke. Flite sheathed his sword and stepped back, his stone-faced gaze never faltering.

"Clever, Ramza, very clever," Delita sneered. "This isn't over. I know Ovelia won't rest until you're brought to justice!" Delita and all his followers vanished in white bursts, leaving the busy city in its usual state.

"That Delita..." Cinna said. "He's bad news."

"Delita..." Ramza sighed wearily. "What went wrong?"

"Hey, look at that!" a civilian said. "That guy saved our town!"

"Wow! He's so strong!" a girl said.

"HOORAY!!!" the citizens cheered as Ramza looked around. The people started cheering his name. "Ramza! Ramza! WOOOOO!!!"

"You're a hero to this town now," Orlandu said, standing next to Ramza. "You're on your way to erasing the label branded on you by the church."

Ramza looked at his friend and nodded. "Let's find everyone else and regroup at the inn," he said, walking through the crowd, not responding to the mountains of praise heaped upon him.

"What's with Ramza?" Cinna asked. "He oughta be soakin' up this limelight."

"The master is very modest," Worker No.8 said.

"Ramza doesn't want the fame to go to his head," Rafa explained. "He's afraid it will corrupt him and he'll turn out like... some other guys."

"Well, I'll be damned," Cinna said. "That makes him stand taller than all the others already."


	19. Rose Jungle

**CHAPTER 19**

**ROSE JUNGLE**

"To continue on the road to Berkana, we have to go through Rose Jungle," Cinna said as he showed the party the route on his map. "It's a thick jungle with all sorts of wildlife... and plenty of poisonous plants and stuff. Keep on your toes!"

"'Keep on my toes?'" Malak asked. "You're really confusing sometimes, Cinna."

"Sorry, dude," Cinna apologized. "Anyway, the jungle's pretty dangerous, so we should send a team to scout out a path first before anything else happens."

"I'll go," Ramza said. "I ought to. I'm the leader."

"I'll come with you,"Alma said. "I haven't done much for a while."

"I'll come!" Reis added.

"As will I," Beowulf said almost instantly after Reis had volunteered.

"Count me in," Meliadoul said. "Anything to get away from the minstrel."

"Oh, I'm hurt!" Cinna protested. Then he chuckled and slapped her on the back. "It's a joke, Mel. Laugh once in a while!"

Meliadoul turned away from Cinna. "(Sorry, Cinna, but I don't want to risk it...)" she thought. "(It's bad enough that I'm friends with all the others. I don't want another gamble on my conscience...)"

"All right then," Cinna said. "Use the Whisper Grass and contact us when you've secured a route."

* * *

"So, Furkkes," Delita snarled as he approached Furkkes at his mobile lab. "How is the next Lucavite coming?"

"Perfectly, master," Furkkes cackled. "I was able to obtain the DNA of the old man during the fight with Touga. I'll graft it into my third and final Lucavite, Utena."

"Final?" Delita asked. "Why are you so sure it'll be your final Lucavite, Doctor?"

"Because," Furkkes snickered. "After they murder my third child, I'll take matters into my own hands..."

"What do you mean?" Delita snorted. "An old man like you can't do anything against Ramza.

"And old man like me cannot," Furkkes snickered. "...But Torokann could."

"Excuse me?" Delita asked.

Furkkes's face seemed to change entirely. He withdrew a yellow gem from his pocket and held it in his hand. "The young Beoulve made the mistake of leaving behind all his Zodiac Stones when he left for Zeratul," he explained. "The Taurus Stone has allowed me to become one with Torokann, a Lucavi..."

"A Lucavi?!" Delita growled.

"Yes," Furkkes chortled. "You remember the Lucavi, don't you, King Delita? Why, if it weren't for us, you wouldn't be the ruler of Ivalice now, would you?"

"Grgh..." Delita growled. He hated having to admit that the Lucavi had aided him in becoming king, but since he knew Torokann could very well split him in two, he calmly took his hand off his sword. "...So, what are you going to do?" he asked.

"Nothing, for now," Furkkes said, hobbling over to his test tubes. "Torokann is a very patient Lucavi. He'll reveal himself when it's time."

"...A Lucavi?!" Flite hissed to himself as he and Miraz stepped away from the tent. "This is getting way out of hand."

"I'm liking Dr. Furkkes less and less," Miraz said. "You don't suppose he'll try to overthrow the king, do you?"

"...No," Flite said. "I'm assuming that Ramza is Torokann's main target. Still, we must keep an eye on him..."

"Right," Miraz agreed, nodding solemnly.

* * *

"What a lush jungle," Reis said as she walked through the exotic foliage, enjoying the soft jungle wind rippling through her silk dress.

"Ugh," Meliadoul griped. "Too many bugs! I'm getting chomped all over!"

"You should keep your robes on then," Ramza said. "They'll cover your skin and make you less appealing to the bloodsuckers."

"Good idea," Meliadoul said, pulling her usual green robes back over her flowing, brown hair and simple leather shirt and pants. "Ohh, but now I'm roasting!"

"Bugs or blazing, Meliadoul?" Alma said. "It's a simple decision."

"Ngyah!" Beowulf grunted as he slashed at the vines with his sword to cut a path for the party. "The vines are rich and full of life, which makes them hard to damage."

"At least we get to observe some neat wildlife," Ramza said, pointing to a huge venus flytrap on the side of the path. A red frog hopped up to it, and the plant's huge, purple tongue shot out, grabbed it, pulled it in and closed its mouth.

"...Yikes!" Reis exclaimed.

"This is the jungle," Beowulf said. "It's kill or be killed here."

"Speaking of killing..." Alma said, stopping in her tracks. "What do we do about that?!"

A huge mass of vines entangled the path ahead. Rising out of the vines here and there were red, fanged plants. They bobbed up and down, and some shot fireballs.

"Oh, brother," Meliadoul muttered, rolling her eyes. "I wonder where THEY came from?"

"Weird plants, huh?" Ramza asked. "I guess we'll just have to cut a path."

"Let me help with that," Beowulf said, jumping into the mass of vines.

"Wait, Beowulf!" Reis called.

Too late. The plants lunged at Beowulf, but he jumped from side to side, evading all their attacks. "Let's end this," he finally said, drawing his sword. "SHOCK!!!"

Beowulf unleashed a tremendous burst of energy that destroyed the plants and disintegrated the vines. The path was soon clear. Beowulf sheathed his sword and chuckled. "Flimsy plants," he concluded.

"...Riiiight," Meliadoul said. "Shall we continue?"

The group finally reached a large cliff overlooking a waterfall and a river. "Wow, that's so beautiful..." Alma said.

"Mmm, I can smell the water from here," Reis said, inhaling deeply.

"Very nice," Meliadoul said. "But it's a difficult barrier to cross. How do you suppose we should go about this?"

"Let's see if we can find a way down and get to the riverbank," Ramza said, picking his way down a narrow slope. The others reluctantly followed.

"I hate heights," Alma sighed. "Why does it have to be so high?"

"Relax," Meliadoul said. "We're almost there."

Finally, the group reached the riverbank. There wasn't much but sand and some trees. "I wonder what we do now?" Beowulf asked.

"I bet this river leads out of the jungle," Reis said. "Maybe if we follow it..."

"Or better yet, RIDE it," Ramza said, looking over at the trees.

"Here we go again with the raft thing," Meliadoul sighed.

* * *

After about an hour of work, the party had fashioned a rather large raft. "Wonderful," Ramza said. "And there's still enough lumber left over to make a raft big enough for everyone else when they come this way."

"Good," Reis said. "Let's shove off!"

Beowulf pushed the raft into the stream, and the party sailed off down the gentle river.

* * *

After a few hours of rafting, things were getting quiet... TOO quiet.

"This jungle's starting to get to me," Alma said wearily. "There's gotta be some dangerous beasts somewhere around here..."

"Don't worry," Meliadoul reassured Alma. "If any show up, we'll kick their fuzzy butts clean to Ivalice."

"That sounds like a threat."

Everyone suddenly looked around. The raft was still moving, but there were now two candelabras on the front sides, with blue and purple candlelight blazing from the wax deposits. A circle with the picture of a tiger appeared on the raft as well.

"This isn't good," Beowulf said. Suddenly, a huge, mechanical tiger leaped out of the bushes on the right and landed on the raft. He looked at lot more vicious than the previous Mechannites.

"Rest and sleep in my jungle..." the Mechannite growled. "Forever!"

"Who're you?" Alma asked, drawing her Gold Staff.

"I am Crimson Fang, the Tiger Mechannite," Crimson Fang said. "Enough questions. It's time for combat!"

"Oh, man..." Meliadoul sighed. "Fight on a moving raft? This is gonna be tough..."

Crimson Fang lunged forward and slashed at Ramza, who (thanks to his Blade Grasp ability) dodged the blow. Ramza took the opportunity and slashed at Crimson Fang, who was undamaged by the attack.

"Guys, we're headed for rapids," Alma called from the side.

"Greeeeaaaat," Everyone sighed.

"RAAAAHHHH!!!" Crimson Fang roared, digging his claws into the raft to maintain his balance during the bumpy ride. "VOLTAGE RAY!!!" He dropped down on all fours and his tail became a laser cannon. It began shooting electric blasts all over.

"Whaaaugh!" Beowulf yelled as he tried to dodge a blast and stay on the raft at the same time.

"Look out! We're going into a whirlpool!" Alma yelled. The raft got sucked into the aquatic vortex and began to spin around madly.

"We won't be able to do anything while we're stuck here," Meliadoul said as she struck Crimson Fang in the head. It caused some damage, but not much.

"I have an idea," Reis said. She stood up and charged at Crimson Fang. She slammed into him, causing him to stagger backwards and hook his claw on a jagged rock in the water. The raft gained enough momentum to fly out of the whirlpool, and Fang's arm was torn off as well.

"RRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHGGGGHHHH!!!" the mechanical tiger howled angrily. "You think I can't beat you with only three limbs?! THINK AGAIN!!!"

Crimson Fang lurched towards Alma, who quickly struck him with her Gold Staff and rolled out of the way. Beowulf attacked with a powerful stab, but it had little effect. Even with a gaping hole in him, Crimson Fang attacked with just as much gusto as before.

"This guy just keeps goin' and goin'!" Meliadoul said. "Hellcry Punch!!!" She struck Crimson Fang's other arm, and it snapped off.

"YOU LOUSY KIDS!!!" Crimson Fang roared, opening his mouth and revealing a large cannon. He started firing plasma blasts at the heroes.

"If you're resorting to using bad breath, you must be on the verge of losing," Ramza remarked, burying his sword in Crimson Fang's head. The techno tiger staggered backwards and collapsed.

"Well done, children..." Crimson Fang growled. "But this is not the end... You'll regret landing on this continent one day..."

Crimson Fang exploded, scattering pieces and shrapnel everywhere. When the smoke cleared, the Tiger Stone lay on the raft. The candelabras were gone.

"Six down, six to go," Reis said.

"Yeah, but what then?..." Ramza asked, staring off into the distance.


	20. Trainauss Valley

**CHAPTER 20**

**TRAINAUSS VALLEY**

"...It looks like the river's coming to an end," Meliadoul said as she sat up on the raft. "We'd better contact Cinna."

"Funny, I didn't expect you to suggest it," Alma said as she looked at Meliadoul.

"...It's common sense that we contact the others," Meliadoul grumbled, turning away from Alma. "If I hadn't said it, someone else would have."

"Uh-huh," Alma said, turning towards Ramza "Ramza, would you get a hold of Cinna?"

Ramza pulled out the Whisper Grass that Cinna had given him and held it up to his mouth. "Ramza to Cinna. Ramza to Cinna. Are you there?"

"FZZZRRRT... CRACKLE..." the Whisper Grass jerked and twitched. "...This is Cinna. What's up, Ramza?"

"We're out of the jungle," Ramza reported. "Listen closely and I'll give you instructions on how to get through it."

Ramza gave Cinna all the details of the trip, and Cinna listened quietly. "Got it, man," Cinna said. "We'll be there in about half a day. Can ya wait for us?"

"All right," Ramza said. "We'll wait."

"You know, maybe we should see what's past the jungle," Alma said.

"The last place between here and Berkana is Trainauss Valley, a large canyon," Cinna said. "Wait for us to show up, and I'll explain more then."

"OK," Ramza said, steering the raft to the shore and tying it up. The party sat down to wait for the others.

* * *

"Here's another proposition," Rad said as he looked over the different leaflets stapled to a board in the Rose Trade Town bar. "'Spear an octopus and win 100 Gil.'"

"No thanks," Alicia sighed.

"How about this one?" Rad asked. "'Draw comic strips for the local newspaper.'"

"I don't have a good sense of humor," Lavian muttered.

"Hmmm..." Rad said. "'Blonde prostitute! Will divulge in any and all sexual activities...'" Rad looked around quickly and slipped this leaflet into his shirt and went back to looking at the other leaflets."Hey, here's an interesting one!" he exclaimed as his eyes met a very small leaflet with strange handwriting...

**WANTED!**

_Ramza Beoulve, heretic from Ivalice_

_Age: 22; blonde hair, brown eyes_

_Will pay 10,000 Gil for capture, alive if possible_

_Delita, King of Ivalice_

"Yeah, right," Alicia muttered. "Like Delita will ever catch Ramza."

"Oh, hey, here's one!" Rad said, grabbing another paper. "'Teach a course on macramé!'"

Alicia and Lavian groaned.

* * *

"Here we are!" Cinna said as the rest of the party's homemade raft crashed into the shore. Ramza looked up from what he was doing and smiled warmly.

"Nice of you guys to show up," Ramza said.

"We're all OK," Rafa said. "How are you guys?"

"Besides bored out of our ever loving minds, we're fine," Meliadoul muttered.

"Don't worry," Cinna laughed. "With me around, it's always a party!"

"(I miss being bored...)" Meliadoul thought crossly.

"What took you so long?" Beowulf asked.

"Well, we would have been here sooner if Mustadio hadn't decided to swim in the quicksand," Agrias muttered.

"Yeah? Well we could have shaved off even more time if Agrias hadn't started freaking out about the thing that fell on her shoulder halfway through the jungle!" Mustadio retorted.

"I thought it was a blood-sucking tarantula!" Agrias protested.

"It was a leaf," Mustadio growled.

"OK, OK, knock it off, you two..." Orlandu scolded. "Aside from those incidents, we all had a safe trip."

"So Cinna," Ramza said. "What's Trainauss Valley like?"

"It's really windy," Cinna said. "If you aren't careful, the gusts will blow you right into the canyon and then you're toast. You'll need me with you as a guide."

"I'll come too," Rafa said.

"Same here," Malak added.

"Likewise," Mustadio added.

"All right," Ramza said. "The rest of you wait here. We'll clear a path and call the rest of you when we get through."

"More waiting?!" Reis cried. "Oh, it's gonna be sooo boring!"

"Not while I'm here, Reis..." Beowulf said slowly. Reis giggled and turned pink.

"Get a room," Agrias muttered. "See you guys later. And keep an eye on Mustadio! He'll probably get blown all the way back to Kansas with one gust!"

"Ha, ha," Mustadio snorted.

"...Where's Kansas?" Alma asked. Everyone sweatdropped.

* * *

President Maclus sighed as he looked over the latest public opinion poll in his office in Berkana. Apparently, the constituency wasn't all too fond of his proposal to raise taxes in order to increase the budget of the Homeland Defense program. He had heard about Delita's attacks on Konra and Rose Trade Town, and he feared an invasion from Ivalice.

Maclus was no fool; he played the political game quite well, but it was an election year. Maclus wanted to serve a second term, but to do that he needed a high approval rating. Though the populace approved of beefing up national defense, they certainly didn't want to pay any extra taxes for it.

Maclus sighed again. How was he going to make the constituency understand that to increase the defense, they needed to contribute? This was going to be a difficult issue to tackle. But how would-

There was a knock at the door. "That must be Delores with the latest budget readout," Maclus said as he stood up. "Come in!"

The door opened, and Maclus's tired face suddenly froze with horror. "Good evening, Mr. President," a low voice said. "Allow me to discuss a new issue with you..."

* * *

"Wow, this canyon's HUGE," Malak said as he gazed out over the huge landscape. The canyon's cliffs were indeed steep... a several-hundred kilometer drop to the small river that ran at the bottom.

"Why do they call this a valley when it's actually a canyon?" Mustadio asked.

"The first explorers to chart this place stumbled into the bottom of the canyon first," Cinna explained. "They named it Trainauss Valley, but we all know it's a canyon. We still call it a valley because it was discovered and charted by women from a minority group and their more radical factions would eat the rest of us alive if it were changed."

"Aren't politics swell?" Malak mused sarcastically.

* * *

The party set off across the large, rocky terrain. The area was mostly flat, but there were some bumps and rocks. On occasion they encountered some prairie dogs or iguanas, but they weren't psychotic monsters, so no one really paid them any attention.

"Hey, I thought you said this place was WINDY," Rafa said to Cinna.

"It is," Cinna said. "Just wait..."

Suddenly, Mustadio was swept off his feet by a gigantic gust. He would have smashed to bits in the canyon below if Malak hadn't extended his Octagon Rod and caught him with it. After the wind subsided, Mustadio plopped down onto solid ground again.

"Whoo... Thanks, Malak," Mustadio panted.

"No problem," Malak chuckled. "You're the brainiac of the group. We can't afford to lose you."

"(Malak doesn't like to admit it, but he really likes all of you guys,)" Rafa whispered to Ramza.

"I see..." Ramza said. "Well, thanks, Malak."

"Uh, dudes..." Cinna said, looking up. "I thing there's something you oughta see..."

On the sides of the canyon, candelabras had appeared, adorned with candles blazing with blue and purple flame. A circle with a picture of a horse appeared in front of the surprised party. The group looked up and saw a running horse. It wasn't running along on the ground, though... It was running on the air above the valley. It was a vicious-looking, mechanical horse. It saw them, whinnied ferociously, and charged down and landed in front of them. "You are Ramza Beoulve?" it asked in a deep voice.

"Yeah..." Ramza said, his hand fingering his Chaos Blade's handle. "What do you want?"

The horse stood up on two legs and looked at Ramza with pure contempt. "I am Wind Rider, the Horse Mechannite, third-in-command to Draco, the Dragon Mechannite and our leader."

"So, you have a hierarchy," Malak said. "What does your little cult hope to achieve?"

"Our magicians have been reciting day and night to cast the spell that will bring our master back from the realm of the dead," Wind Rider said. "He was put there before in a failed attempt by the Lucavi, but we, the Mechannites, will resurrect the 'Bloody Angel' and allow him to claim his rightful place as the ruler of humanity."

"Ajora..." Ramza growled.

"You work for Ajora?!" Rafa asked. "That explains a lot."

"You interfered with our plans once too many times, Beoulve," Wind Rider snarled. "Prepare to meet your doom!"

"Not right now, and not from you!" Mustadio said, drawing his gun. "Ramza, let's send 'im to the glue factory!"

"You talk bravely," Wind Rider growled. "But let us see how you fare against me!"

"Leg Aim!" Mustadio shouted, shooting at Wind Rider. Wind Rider just slid to the side and avoided the bullet.

"Pathetic," he mused. "Storm Tornado!!!"

Wind Rider's front hooves snapped open to reveal two large cannons. They spewed two huge cyclones at the group, and everyone went flying every which way.

"Aaaahhhh!!!" Rafa screamed as she was swept over the side of the canyon.

"Rafa!!!" Ramza and Malak yelled at the same time. Ramza put his hands together and cast the Float Spell on Rafa. She hovered back to to the top and landed safely.

"Are you OK, Rafa?" Ramza asked.

"Thanks, Ramza," Rafa said. "I'm fine."

"Waaaaaaltz!!!" Cinna sang as he strummed his lute. The group was healed a bit, but that didn't stop Wind Rider.

"Back Foot Kick!" he yelled, his back legs rearing up and squarely kicking Ramza in the jaw. He fell over backwards, but on his way down he stabbed Wind Rider quite hard in the left hind leg. The horse whinnied in agony.

"Use the Tiger Stone!" Cinna called. "It transforms you into a werewolf for as long as you hold it!"

"That sounds cool," Mustadio said, pulling the stone out. It flashed brightly, and Mustadio became a hairy, fanged monster. He charged at Wind Rider, sank his jaws into the horse's metal back and hung on.

"You killed Crimson Fang?!" Wind Rider growled, his nostrils flaring up. "He was my dearest friend! You shall pay!!! STORM TORNADO!!!"

"It won't work the way you want it," Rafa said, casting an Ice spell on the dirt beneath Wind Rider as Mustadio dislodged himself. As Wind Rider fired the tornadoes, the recoil sent him sliding along the ice and off the cliff.

"Gotcha!" Rafa cheered as the horse fell down... down... down...

And then suddenly, Wind Rider sprouted huge, mechanical wings and started going up... up... up...

"He's a friggin' pegasus!" Cinna shouted.

"Are you surprised?" Wind Rider mused coldly. "I'm also part unicorn!"

A horn emerged from Wind Rider's forehead and started to spark. "AURA BOLT!!!" he shouted, firing rainbow blasts at the group.

"Whaaaagh!" Mustadio yelled as he reverted to a regular human and rolled to the side.

"Rafa, on 3..." Malak said to his sister.

"Yes!" Rafa said.

"What're you guys doing?" Ramza asked.

"1...2...3!" Malak shouted. Both siblings but their hands together and cast a spell. "ULTIMA SKY DEMON!!!" they shouted at the same time. A totally accurate blast of combined heavenly and hellish light flew out from in-between the kids and torched Wind Rider. His wings melted, and he collapsed to the ground. He whinnied angrily, but he didn't stand up.

"Impressive..." Wind Rider growled. "Who would have thought that a bunch of mere children like you could beat me?... Well done. The victory is yours."

Wind Rider exploded and pieces went in all directions. What was left of him was blown across the canyon by the wind. The Horse Stone materialized in Ramza's hand.

"That's the Horse Stone," Cinna explained. "That stone grants mystical wings to its holder and allows him or her to fly."

"Sounds pretty useful," Malak said.

"Do you think he was telling the truth?" Mustadio asked.

"If he was, this quest is more complicated than before," Rafa said.

"Ajora..." Ramza growled. "When last we met, he tried to take my sister from me... If he comes back again, who knows what he'll do..."

"Yo, yo, yo," Cinna said. "Let's talk about this later. There's a HUGE wind storm headed this way and we'll be tossed around like rag dolls if we don't get outta here. Come on! Berkana's just a stone's throw away!"

**END OF DISC 1**

**PLEASE INSERT DISC 2**


	21. Berkana Sewers

**CHAPTER 21**

**BERKANA SEWERS**

"Ahh, home sweet home!" Cinna said cheerfully as the party walked into Berkana. The place was unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. Huge rows of buildings stood in conforming lines, topped by numerous rows of smokestacks that spewed pollution up into the air.

"Home, huh?" Agrias asked. "I'd love to see your garden."

"My family is very poor," Cinna explained. "I need to write and sing songs to support them. Any money I make goes to them."

"..." Meliadoul said.

"Well, you're a very caring son," Alma said. "Can we meet your family?"

"Sure," Cinna said. "It's this way."

"Lead on," Ramza said. Cinna started walking through the street, followed by his friends.

"What's that smell?..." Meliadoul asked as she wrinkled her nose.

"Oh, that's just the ethanol plant," Cinna said. "They make clean-air gasoline for the airships there."

"You said that this was the capital of Zeratul?" Rafa asked.

"Yes," Cinna said. "Zeratul is a democracy, meaning we elect our leaders. President Maclus is our current president, and we have a bicameral legislature; two houses of congress. They squabble a lot, so it's a heck of a lot of work to get new laws passed."

"At least no one seizes power through bloodshed," Ramza said. "I've had enough of that."

"There are pros and cons," Cinna said. "Ivalice's autocratic systems are pretty primitive compared to the government here, but at least your governments can get stuff done fast."

Suddenly, a sewer grate opened in front of the party and two Morbols emerged. "GRAAAAHHHH!!!!" they growled.

"What in the?-" Mustadio asked.

"This's never happened before," Cinna said, readying his lute.

"LIGHTNING STAB!!!" Orlandu and Agrias yelled at the same time, vanquishing the beasts in an electric blast.

"Thanks, dudes," Cinna said. "C'mon, let's go meet my folks and see what's goin' on around here."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Ivalice at the Zeltennia graveyard, a pack of grave robbers forced their way into Queen Ovelia's mausoleum (the crowbar is a miraculous invention, isn't it?).

"Oh, boy, can you imagine what kind of riches they buried in here with her?" one asked.

"Gold... jewels... precious stones..." a second drooled. "We'll be rich!"

"With King Delita out, we can ransack the place and get away with it!" the leader cheered. "C'mon, let's get this show on the road!"

The grave robbers started hauling all the good stuff out. When everything else was gone, the leader's eyes fell upon the ruby-plated coffin of the late queen. "Hey Forward," the leader said to one of his Thief friends. "I'll give you 1,000 Gil if you french-kiss the queen."

"Are you crazy, Orwell?!" Forward asked crossly. "That's disgusting!"

"That is kinda sick, even for you, boss," another grunt said.

"C'mon, you know you want to..." Orwell mused, waving the sack of gold at Forward. Forward finally snapped.

"Oh, ALL RIGHT!" Forward snapped, taking the cash. "Help me shove the lid off the coffin, guys."

Forward, Orwell and the others all lined up on the left side of the coffin and pushed. The lid creaked off, slid down and shattered to bits on the floor.

"OK Forward, there's your dream girl," Orwell said, pointing down into the sarcophagus. "Let's see some lip action!"

"Err, think again, boss..." a grunt said. "There's nothing there."

"What?!" Orwell yelled, looking down into the coffin. The grunt was right. The space was empty, not occupied by anything, living or dead.

"That's weird," Forward said. "I coulda sworn I saw King Delita and Captain Flite put the body in here after she died."

"Well, it's not that big a deal," Orwell said. "Hey, gimme my money back!"

* * *

"Here goes," Cinna said as the party approached the little one-story house that Cinna's parents lived in. He walked up and pushed the doorbell's button. Nothing happened.

"What?" Ramza asked.

"Oh, I know," Cinna said. "I bet the bell's not working. Hey, mom! The bell isn't working!"

"Try it now, dear," Cinna's mom shouted through a hole that served as a window. Cinna pushed the button again, and his mom yelled "DING." She then opened the door and threw her arms around her son. "Cinna! Welcome home!" she cried.

"Hi, mom," Cinna said, hugging his mom. "I came to see how you and dad were doing."

"Well, come on in," Cinna's mom said. "Goodness, you've brought a lot of friends. Come in and we'll try to make you comfy."

It turned out that 'comfy' meant not sitting on the greasy spots of the floor. "Kind of gross, isn't it?" Agrias asked.

"Shush! They're trying their best. Be nice," Orlandu hissed at Agrias.

"Help yourself to some tea and cookies," Cinna's dad said as he passed a plate full of month-old crackers around and a pot of cold tea with a week-old tea bag in it. The group gladly accepted the food and munched the crackers without complaint from their mouths (their stomachs, however, weaved absolute tapestries of obscenity).

"Mom, what's happening in town?" Cinna asked. "We were attacked by Morbols on our way in, and they came out of the sewer."

"Also, I didn't see many other people out and about on the way in, and it's only noon," Malak said, looking at his watch.

"Things have been real high-strung since a strange monster appeared and took over the sewers below Berkana," Cinna's dad said. "Isn't that right, Flo?"

"Everett's right, kids," Flo said. "Some strange robot rat thing is runnin' around down in the sewers and making monsters and stuff. Folks're too scared to go out, even though President Maclus insisted that he has troops out trying to find the beast."

"A rat, huh?" Ramza asked. "Sounds like a Mechannite. Mr. and Mrs. Garnomm, I'll go and find that rat and get rid of it for your town."

"That's really nice of you, dear, but what can you do?" Flo asked.

"Mom, surely you jest!" Cinna said, standing up. "This is the acclaimed Ramza Beoulve of Ivalice! He defeated a slew of demons in Ivalice and protected Konra and Rose Trade Town from King Delita's attacks! He's quite capable of finding one little rat."

"So, YOU'RE Ramza," Everett said. "Cinna's spoken very highly of you. Go on and save our town then, son. But promise me to take Cinna with you. He knows the sewers better than anyone."

"He knows everything better than everyone," Alma chuckled.

"I'll come and help, too," Agrias said.

"As will I," Orlandu nodded in agreement.

"Me too," Malak said. "Let's get 'em, Ramza!"

"The rest of us will wait here for you," Rafa said. "Good luck, Ramza, Cinna."

"You got it," Cinna said. "C'mon, there's an entrance just outside of the house."

The four adventurers followed Cinna outside to a manhole. "Right down here," Cinna said, pulling up the manhole and climbing down the ladder.

"Ummm, does the sewer have what I think it has in it?" Agrias asked.

"You bet," Malak chuckled. "Boatloads of it."

Agrias's face went green, but she shrugged it off and climbed down. Orlandu, Malak and Ramza followed and the group reconvened on the walkway next to the flowing water.

"Judging from what Mom told me, the attacks were occurring the most near the Presidential Residence," Cinna said. "That's this way."

"Out of curiosity, what's the address of the Presidential Residence?" Agrias asked.

"1600 California Avenue," Cinna said. "Why?"

"Never mind," Agrias muttered, shrugging. The party set off up the road next to the sludgy water that flowed past them below.

* * *

After about an hour of Cinna navigating the tunnels, Orlandu finally had the gall to ask "Cinna, are you SURE you know where you're going?"

"Sure!" Cinna said. "I've played down here since I was a little kid."

"Since then?!" Agrias asked. "No wonder your mom's two feet shorter than you."

"Shhh!" Malak whispered, motioning for everyone to be quiet. "I hear something."

The group strained and listened. There was a slight gurgling to be heard in the water.

"Big deal, Malak," Agrias said. "It's probably just an air bubble."

"Who're you calling an air bubble?"

Everyone stepped back as the gunk in the river began to shift and take on form. It splattered onto the walkway just as two candelabras with blue and purple-blazing candles appeared along with a circle with a drawing of a rat. The gunk shifted and modeled itself until it became a shining, slimy rodent. The stench was unbearable.

"The Rat Mechannite!" Orlandu exclaimed.

"Sludge Rodent at your service," Sludge Rodent wheezed. "Ahh, I love the smell of sewer slime in the morning... but you guys are clean! Bleaach! Putrid! I'll have to dirty you up a little. Get ready for a fight you'll never forget!"

"Bring it on, cheeseball," Malak growled, his Octagon Rod poised.

"You'll never win!" Ramza said, his sword drawn and ready.

"We're taking Ovelia back!" Agrias declared.

"ACID GLOB!!!" Sludge Rodent yelled, spewing gobs of green goo at the party. They splattered all over the adventurers' armor and melted it.

"Looks like we'll have to finish him fast, before he melts all our armor clean off," Ramza said.

"Split Punch!" Orlandu yelled, attacking with the Holy Knight ability. Sludge Rodent wavered for a minute, but he kept attacking.

"GUNK SCRATCH!" he shrieked, slashing Agrias with his slimy claw. Green goo flew everywhere.

"Ughhh!" Agrias groaned as she fell backwards. "HOLY EXPLOSION!!!"

Agrias slashed her sword and hit the rat dead-on with a heavenly blast. Sludge Rodent bounced back into the water and vanished.

"Did we get him?" Cinna asked.

"No way! I'm just getting warmed up..." Sludge Rodent's voice echoed through the sewer. Suddenly, the entire mass of water in the sewer started to shift and take form into a much larger version of the rat. "Didn't you know I can take on more gunk and get bigger?" he teased. "Well, you learn something new every day!"

"If he gets any bigger, we'll be crushed!" Ramza remarked.

Orlandu used a Lightning Stab attack to knock a hole in the ceiling of the sewer. "We'll take this battle to the streets," he said. "Hurry!"

The party scurried up onto solid (and clean) ground just as the humongazoid rat oozed out of the sewer. At his full height, Sludge Rodent was about a block long in length and about a street wide. "Now, where were we?..." the rat cackled.

"Space Storage Back!" Malak yelled, sending his satanic rays at the rat. Sludge Rodent absorbed them without much thought.

"Don't you get it? You can't beat me!" the putrid mouse laughed. "Get ready to be slimed big time!"

"He's right," Cinna said. "We can't hurt him in this gooey form."

"And the stink is getting worse!" Agrias yelled, holding her nose.

Ramza looked at the huge, gunky rat hard. He could see that in the center of the monster, the Rat Stone glittered brightly. "We don't have to beat him," Ramza said. "We just have to break his heart."

"What?" Agrias asked. "Ramza, this is no time to get romantic!"

"Aim for the Stone!" Ramza shouted, slashing through the goo until he got to the rock and stabbing it hard. Sludge Rodent howled in agony.

"You little fool! How DARE you!!!" the rat said, and morphed into a huge ball and Ramza trapped inside it. "I'll just smother you out of existence!" he cackled. Ramza was obviously choking to death in the gooey mess.

"This ain't good," Cinna said.

"Let's do what Ramza said and aim for the stone!" Orlandu said, focusing his weapon. "CRUSH PUNCH!"

"LIGHTNING STAB!!!" Agrias yelled, unleashing a shocking barrage of energy.

"SKY DEMON BACK!" Malak shouted, letting the random blasts splatter goo everywhere and shock the stone.

"Sambaaaaaaa!" Cinna yelled as a load of notes penetrated the sticky mass and beat upon the gem.

"You stupid fools!" Sludge Rodent cackled. "You still haven't beaten me! Hey, what're you doing?!"

Everyone could clearly see Ramza slowly thrusting his sword through the goo. With one quick stroke, he struck the Rat Stone and disintegrated it. Sludge Rodent screamed in agony and, unlike the other Mechannites, just melted away. The goo and slop just oozed back into the sewer and all was calm again. Another Rat Stone appeared in Ramza's grimy hand.

"Nice job, Ramza!" Agrias cheered. "I forget you have brawn AND brains sometimes!"

"You did great," Cinna said.

"Yes, fantastic job, but..." Malak said.

"(Cough, sputter...) But what?" Ramza asked.

All four of his friends grabbed their faces and lurched backwards. "You REEK!!!" they yelled.

"Hey, let's see you get absorbed by a giant sludge rat and come out smelling like a Glade Plug-In," Ramza retorted. "Still... Cinna, does your house have a shower?"

"There's one out back," Cinna chuckled. Then everyone started laughing heartily.


	22. Delita's Abmitions

**CHAPTER 22**

**DELITA'S AMBITIONS**

"Good to see you washed off," Rafa said as Ramza emerged from his fifth shower. She got really close to him and sniffed again. "(snort) OK, you're clear this time."

"I'd better be," Ramza muttered as he slapped on his clothes. "I used up all the bath oil beads. Hey, are you sure you can be in here while I'm... ah... in the raw?"

"It's OK," Rafa said, waving her hand. "There's so much steam out here, I can't even see three centimeters in front of me. I'll leave now, though, since it bothers you."

"Thanks, Rafa," Ramza said. "No one else would come near me after that whole Sludge Rodent case."

"Hey, at least you beat him," Rafa said. "That's more than I can say for what lesser men could do."

"Well, thank you," Ramza chuckled. "I'm not THAT great..."

* * *

"Ovelia..." Delita growled as he stood on a hill overlooking Berkana, where he knew Ramza was staying. He had seen Ramza and his friends battle that huge, robotic, slimy rat and was certainly surprised.

_(Flashback)_

"Sir!" Captain Flite shouted as he called to the king. Delita looked up from his... ah... entertainment and walked over to Flite.

"Well, what is it?" Delita snapped. "Dear Esmerelda was just getting to the good part."

"Look through my binoculars at the city," Flite said, handing Delita the newly-invented gadget. Delita pressed the goggles to his eyes and looked down.

There, standing before a giant rat made out of gunk and slime, stood five people dressed as vikings and singing intensely. "What the hell?" Delita asked.

"Whoops," Flite said, taking the lenses away. "Sorry, those were my opera glasses. Here are the binoculars."

The live audience the story was being viewed by laughed and applauded heartily. Flite and Delita waved and then went back to the plot.

Delita put the binoculars to his eyes and gasped. He saw a gigantic, slimy rat battling with Ramza and five of his friends. "What is he doing?!" he asked.

"I believe he's battling one of the twelve beasts that hold the Chinese Zodiac Stones," Flite explained. "With all twelve in his possession, he can resurrect dead people."

"Resurrect the dead?" Delita asked. "Well, we can't let a heretic like Beoulve make the decision of who's worth bringing back, can we? Flite, the next chance we get, we'll seize those stones! Understood?"

"...Yes, sir," Flite growled reluctantly.

_(End Flashback)_

Delita smiled coldly. He knew exactly who he wanted to bring back: his dear sister Teta. This entire chain of events had began with Teta's murder by Algus at Fort Zeakden, well over five years ago. She had been the last surviving member of Delita's family, and Delita wanted nothing more than to see her alive again. He'd use the stones to bring his sister back and then he could be happy once more.

But another person entered his mind when he heard the stones had such a power: Ovelia. Delita had loved her almost as much as Teta, but that didn't stop him from killing her. "Why did I kill her, I wonder..." Delita muttered to himself in a matter-of-fact tone. "I know I should feel some pang of sorrow that I killed her, but I feel nothing..."

Delita thought back to the day when he had killed Queen Ovelia after she had accused him of killing Ramza, Alma and all her friends...

_(Flashback)_

Delita stomped back into Zeltennia castle, alone and trying to hide the bloody knife in his hand from the soldiers in the halls. He walked up to his room- it had been THEIR room, but things were different now, weren't they?- and washed the knife off in the sink. He silently watched the blood ooze off the knife and slosh noiselessly down the drain.

"I wonder why I did that," Delita said in a tone that resembled a tone one would take if the mistake committed had been forgetting something on a grocery list. "I don't know why, but it felt... good..."

Delita looked up and looked at himself in the mirror. The brown-haired face glared back at him, a sick and twisted smile appearing on the mouth. "I guess this makes me the absolute ruler of this country," he said calmly. "I... I feel... really good..."

Delita observed himself thoughtfully for a few moments, and then his stony gaze broke in an outburst of psychotic laughter. "UWAAA HAAA HAAAA!!!" he roared crazily. "This is amazing! I'm going mad and it feels so... so... LIBERATING!!!"

Delita leered at himself in the mirror and started to grumble to himself, formulating a convincing story to spread around. "She never loved me... she was just using me... She loved that Ramza guy, but he showed up and killed her, on her birthday of all days! Eh heh heh... Yeah, that's it... And then he took off with his band of heretic brigands! Yeah! But now, I'll send out attack squads and avenge her, and justice will be served! YEAH! YEAH!!! Delita, you... are a genius! GREEEEEAAAAAAH-HAAAA-HAAAAA-HAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Your majesty," a knight said as he burst into Delita's room and knelt before the loony monarch. "The Queen is dead. We found the body in the Zeltennia ruins. The coroner thinks it was a knife blow to the stomach."

"WHAT?!" Delita roared, putting on a good show. "Assemble my troops at once! I know EXACTLY who did it! That heretic, Ramza Beoulve!"

_(End Flashback)_

"Yeah, I really stuck it to him then," Delita chuckled coldly as he stared down at Berkana. "Well Ramza, I've tracked you this far... My secrets die with you, old friend... Eh heh heh..."

Unbeknownst to Delita, Olan and Balmafula were hiding in the bushes nearby, and they had heard every word Delita had uttered.

"That dirty sumnabich!" Balmafula growled. "I KNEW he did it!"

"Poor Ovelia..." Olan sighed. "I wonder if that part about loving Ramza was a lie, too?"

"I'd assume so," Balmafula growled. "I don't trust Delita any further than I can throw him."

"He's been over there for hours," Admiral Miraz said to Captain Flite. "What should we do?"

"Let him be," Flite said. "The king is still... in shock... about the queen's death. It was only a month ago, you know."

"I never expected one death would land me out here on another continent," Miraz sighed. "Weird, is it not?"

"Indeed..." Flite sighed, sitting back and sipping water from his canteen.

* * *

"Come along, Ramza," Cinna said, leading the entire party down main street. "We're going to meet the President and tell him about your situation."

"My situation?" Ramza asked. "But I'm not-"

"Look, Delita's attacking this country because you're here," Alma explained. "Cinna told me that the President can offer you asylum in Zeratul so Delita can't get at you."

"Really?" Ramza asked. "That's neat."

"Yeah, come on," Rafa said. "If we're safe here, we can start to live our lives again! No more fighting bad guys."

"But then life gets boring," Agrias protested.

"I like boring," Mustadio objected.

The party arrived at the Presidential Residence. Cinna walked up and knocked on the door. To his surprise, it opened.

"Woah... Is the President's security usually this minimal?" Meliadoul asked.

"This isn't good," Orlandu growled. "There's no one around..."

"Sensors indicate hostile Mechannite form on upper level," Worker No.8 beeped. "Exercise extreme caution."

"A Mechannite?!" Cinna gasped. "C'mon Ramza, let's go get him! I hope he hasn't hurt the President..."

"I'll come too," Rafa said.

"Same here," Cloud added.

"You too, Worker No.8," Ramza instructed.

"Yes, Master," Worker No.8 said. The five of them ran up the stairs towards the President's office.

"I hope he's OK!" Cinna panted.

"...And that's my proposition," a huge, robotic ox said to President Maclus, who was tied to his chair behind his desk and unable to move. "So, can you make it a law?"

"Look, I've been telling you for the last six hours that congress needs to ratify the bill before I can sign it!" Maclus huffed at the Mechannite. "I can't help you right now!"

"Really?" the ox asked coldly. "You refuse to help Quake Master, second-in-command of the Mechannites? Puny old man. I'll get rid of you now and then I'LL be President and make the laws as I see fit."

"You obviously have a very weak grasp of the Zeratulian political system," Maclus retorted.

"Mr. President!" Cinna shouted as he shoved the doors open and saw Maclus tied up with Quake Master standing in front of him. On both sides of the room, candelabras with the usual purple and blue-flamed candles on them were positioned on the floor. There was also on the floor a circle with a picture of an ox inside it.

"The Ox Mechannite, I'll bet," Cloud growled.

"Indeed," Quake Master said. "Quake Master at your service. I have heard of your amazing skills, Beoulve. Your victories over the other Mechannites are impressive. If you were to join us, the kingdoms of the planet could be yours."

"Sorry, no sale," Ramza said. "I fight for justice and peace, not for admiration and power, like others."

"(Delita,)" Rafa said in a cough.

"You have a strong spirit, Beoulve," Quake Master said. "But it will be useless to you here. The President and I were just discussing a new law to be made. Now I'll teach you why it's rude to barge into a meeting unannounced! FISSURE BLAST!!!"

Quake Master stomped his foot and a huge shockwave crashed through the office and sent the party members flying.

"CRUSH!" Worker No.8 yelled as he closed in on the ox with his weapons. Quake Master just grabbed him and flung him over his shoulder.

"Climhazzard!" Cloud yelled as he ran forward and stabbed Quake Master in the abdomen and lurched upward. It tore a gash in the robot, but he was still strong enough to keep fighting.

"Brave, but pathetic," Quake Master mused, slugging Cloud into a corner.

"You won't win!" Rafa shouted. "Space Storage!"

The random purple blasts knocked Quake Master backwards a few times, and he fell to his knees, but he got right back up again. "Just a scratch, you see," he bellowed before he launched another Fissure Blast.

"You!..." Ramza shouted, slashing Quake Master across the chest. The ox was stunned for a second, and then he picked Ramza up. He snorted smoke into Ramza's face and laughed.

"How did any of the other Mechannites have trouble with you?" he roared gleefully. "This is easier than swatting flies."

"Sir, there's a lot of activity going on at the Presidential Residence," Flite said as he looked through his binoculars at the house. "I think Beoulve's fighting another Mechannite!"

"Perfect! My chance to get my hands on the Chinese Zodiac Stones," Delita laughed. "Furkkes, how is that teleporting device you created?"

"Eh heh heh... It's ready, master," Furkkes cackled. "Get in and I'll send you right to the house and pull you back when you tap your heels together twice."

* * *

"You are weaklings," Quake Master roared as he flung the party members around. "A pigeon would be more trouble than you."

"Ramza, are you OK?..." Rafa moaned from the place she was lying.

"I'm... all right..." Ramza growled as he tried to stand up. His leg must have been hurt, because he kept falling back down.

"Now to finish you all at once," Quake Master chortled, readying himself. "FISSURE-"

Suddenly, everyone was surprised by another figure that had suddenly appeared in the room. "Try me on for size, beefy boy," Delita growled.

"Delita?..." Ramza asked quietly.

"You're helping us?..." Cinna asked.

"Shut up, music man," Delita snorted. "I'm not doing this for you. "

"Oh, you're King Delita, huh?" Quake Master laughed. "What a surprise! You've been very useful to us, handing over your queen to help our cause."

"I know nothing of such things," Delita growled. "And you picked the wrong king to taunt!"

"You know nothing, eh?" Quake Master chortled. "Is that what you told Vormav and his Lucavi when they helped you get the throne of Ivalice?"

"CLEAVER!!!" Delita shrieked, not bothering to answer the question. Quick as a flash, Delita flew through Quake Master. There was a scream, and then the mechanical ox was gone in a blast of shrapnel. The Ox Stone floated neatly down into Delita's palm. He grasped it tightly and turned to face the fallen adventurers.

"Delita, let go of that stone!" Ramza shouted.

"Too late, suckers," Delita chuckled. "I'm going stone hunting myself. In fact, I think I'll just help myself to all of yours while I'm here..."

Delita approached Ramza, who clutched the sack of Zodiac Stones in his hands tightly. "Ramza, use the Rat Stone..." Cinna coughed. "It'll help..."

"All right..." Ramza said, fishing out the Rat Stone and holding it up. Suddenly, a huge ball of goo appeared above Delita and encased him in it. The only parts of him not submerged in the slime were his shoulders and head. The Ox Stone went rolling right into Ramza's other hand.

"HEY!!!" Delita yelled. "That's mine!"

"No, Delita," Cloud said. "We'll protect them and make sure you never get your hands on them."

"You... you..." Delita foamed.

"What's wrong, Delita?" Rafa asked. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Who're you?" Delita asked, staring at the exotic woman.

"She's Rafa, a Heaven Knight," Ramza said. "And she's my friend, so leave her alone."

"Heh heh heh..." Delita mused. "You're very pretty... Say, did you know Ovelia had her eye on your man?"

Suddenly, everything grew dark and dropped away but Delita and Rafa. "What do you mean?" Rafa asked.

"Ovelia had a thing for Ramza and they were quite interested in each other before you came along," Delita smirked, pulling out a hand mirror. "See for yourself. This mirror reflects the past."

Rafa hesitantly took the mirror and looked into it. What she saw made her feel sick to her stomach. The scene showed Ovelia and Ramza kissing and stroking each other tenderly.

"I love you, Ramza," Ovelia sighed as she rested her head on his lap.

"I love you too," Ramza said. "There'll never be another."

"What?..." Rafa asked, gasping at the mirror. "...No, this can't be right... Where's Agrias? She never left Ovelia's side. This whole thing looks fishy..."

"It's the truth, sweet cheeks," Delita mocked. "Deal with it."

"If Ramza loved her, why did you say he was the one that killed her? The details of your account clash with each other," Rafa said. "I don't believe this."

"It's 100 accurate, my dear," Delita mused. "Why don't you ask Ramza yourself? Of course, if you'd rather just go on living in a fantasy, that's none of my business, but..."

"I just don't understand you, Delita," Rafa said. "Why are you trying to turn me against my friends?"

"I'm not," Delita argued. "I just want you to see the whole picture. Keep the mirror and think about it. I'll see you again, Rafa."

Suddenly, everything else reappeared. Delita winked coyly at Rafa, then tapped his heels together twice and vanished. Everyone looked around in a confused way.

"What just happened?..." Cloud asked.

"Ramza..." Rafa asked, staring at Ramza. She clutched the mirror in her right hand. "Ummm..."

"What's wrong, Rafa?" he asked.

Rafa shook her head and hid the mirror behind her back. "Never mind," she said. She would confront him about this in a more private setting some other time.


	23. Berkana Air Field

**CHAPTER 23**

**BERKANA AIR FIELD**

"Are you all right, Mister President?" Cinna asked as he helped the startled Maclus up off the floor.

"What... Who are you people?" he asked.

"Ramza Beoulve of Ivalice, at your service, your Majesty," Ramza said, bowing.

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Maclus said. "Just call me 'Mr. President.' Now, Ramza, I've heard of you. Why did you bring this trouble to my country?"

None of the party members were expecting this question. "Ummm, well..." Rafa started.

Ramza and his friends warbled out a stream of excuses for crash-landing in Zeratul and why Delita was after them. Finally, the President sighed and shook his head.

"Usually I have to deport foreign criminals back to their native countries, especially heretics," Maclus said.

Everyone flinched and braced for the next line.

"However," Maclus continued. "Considering you've saved two of my cities and my life, I will consider granting you asylum if you do something for me and the country first..."

Everyone heaved a great sigh of relief.

"What would that be, sire... Um, I mean Mr. President?" Cloud asked. "(Whoo, how could I let that slip out?)"

Maclus walked over to Ramza and shook his hand. "Keep doing exactly what you're doing now," he said warmly. "Rid this country of those robots, and if there's a greater threat, you have my permission to neutralize it as you see fit."

"I... Thank you, Mister President!" Ramza said, returning the shake. "I'll do my best to stop the Mechannites!"

"And we'll all help him!" Rafa added. "But you might want to increase security around the country, because Delita's just going to keep coming back like a bad penny."

"I'm sure this little attack on the capital will push congress to be a little more welcoming to my home security bill," Maclus chuckled. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Could Ramza and his friends get permission to see your airship-making facilities?" Cinna asked. "We may need one built for later."

"Certainly," Maclus said. "I'll arrange it immediately."

* * *

"The young Beoulve has slain almost all of us," a dark figure said as three shadows stood in front of a crystal ball, watching Ramza. "I'm afraid we may not be able to hold him long enough before the master is released."

"We must still make the effort," a second figure beeped. "We were not designed to give up. The master would be very disappointed in us."

"Astro has a point," the third figure said. "Ah! They're headed for the volcano next. I'll stop them there." The figure vanished.

"If he fails, I shall await them at Stellar Mountain, the hill beyond the volcano," the second figure beeped again. He vanished, too.

"You heard them, girls," the last figure said. "It's our job to defend the temple if Ramza gets here."

"Fine," one of the shadowy girls that stood in the back said. "But once the job's over, we're going off on our own. Got it, Draco?"

"Fine," Draco said. "Just assist me in destroying Ramza and you'll be free."

"Got it, boss," the other girl said.

Draco turned back to the crystal ball and looked in again. The vision shifted from Ramza to Delita's troops. "I am pleased that we are to be aided by a Lucavi," Draco said. "I am also pleased that the Lucavi and the Mechannites have gotten over their petty squabbling of the past and can now work together for a common goal."

"Master," a Black Mage said as he walked in. "The chant is complete. The entrance to the Realm of the Dead is open."

"Excellent," Draco said. He turned to the girls. "Did you get the body?" he asked.

"Yeah, boss," the girls said. They turned around and opened a wooden box they had behind them and hauled out the mildly-rotten body of Queen Ovelia.

"Excellent," Draco smiled as the scent of decay and death filled the room. "Bring it. The time to summon the master draws near."

Draco, the Black Mage and the girls exited the room, hauling the moldy corpse with them.

* * *

"The President has told me to give you a guided tour of the houses of congress," Maclus's aide, Bartholomew, said to the party as he greeted them outside the residence. "Please, follow me."

"Well, I don't have a lot of interest in politics, but why not?" Meliadoul asked. The party followed Bartholomew into the building.

"I'm sure it'll be loads of fun!" Cinna laughed. Meliadoul rolled her eyes and sighed crossly.

"The rooms of both houses of congress look exactly the same, so we'll just show you Parliament," Bartholomew said. "Here we are..."

Bartholomew opened the door and everyone looked around. They were standing on a platform high up above the ground floor. A bunch of hovering pods carrying various black-suited, bald white men floated around the room as the men discussed things like the budget and ratifying bills and other political mumbo-jumbo.

"This place looks really familiar," Mustadio said. "But I just can't put my finger on it."

"...Boooooring," Alma muttered.

"Hey, how do you steer these things?" Agrias asked as she walked out into the pod that was docked at the platform the group was on.

"Wait, don't-" Bartholomew started to say. Agrias hit a button and her pod zipped off across the room and collided with another congressman's pod.

"HEY! See how you like it!" the congressman shouted, ramming Agrias back.

"Hey, that looks like fun!" a second congressman said.

"Forget the budget! Let's play bumper cars!!!" a third congressman yelled. Pretty soon, the entire Parliament was zipping around and colliding with each other. Bartholomew quickly dragged the party out of the room.

"Well, that concludes the tour," Bartholomew chuckled weakly.

"See what you started?" Mustadio asked Agrias angrily.

"Hmmmph," Agrias muttered, putting her lower lip out and making a pouting face.

* * *

"C'mon, Fluffy," Rad called to the cat that sat up in the tree. "Please come down!"

"Nice job, Rad," Alicia muttered. "Taking a proposition to get a cat out of a tree!"

"Maybe if we poke at it with our swords, it'll come down," Lavian said, jabbing at the cat for a few seconds before deciding it wasn't working.

"HEY!" the employer (a man named Inspector Collect) yelled as he came in. "You got mah cat down from da tree yet?!"

"We're working on it, sir," Rad said.

"You BETTER get mah kitty outta dat tree!" Inspector Collect said angrily. "Ah pity da fool can't get mah kitty outta dat tree! Remember, dial 1-800-COLLECT and use Northwestern Title Loans! Use yer head!"

"Good grief..." Lavian sighed.

"I know, let's climb up and get it!" Alicia said, scaling the tree. "Come on, Fluffy..."

"RAAAAOOOOWWWW!!!" Fluffy hissed, scratching Alicia up so bad that she looked like a tic-tac-toe board when she finally fell out of the tree.

"Now that's why I'm a dog person," Rad sighed, shaking his head.

* * *

"So, this is the airship base?" Agrias asked as the party followed Maclus's aide to a huge field loaded with airships. They all glistened in the morning light.

"Wow!..." Mustadio gasped, walking out among the ships. "Look at these machines! They're great!"

"Only Mustadio would get a kick out of this," Meliadoul muttered. "How boring."

"Mustadio has his hobbies," Rafa said. "We should respect them."

"So, who's the engineer in charge here?" Mustadio asked the aide.

"He's right over there," Bartholomew said, pointing to a cranky-looking, gray-haired man wearing goggles and a scarf. He obviously hadn't shaved in days. A cigarette dangled from his mouth and he uttered profanities under his breath as he poked at the machines.

"Well, I'll be," Cloud said, looking surprised. "I thought I was the only one who got sucked through the portal!"

"Um, excuse me..." Mustadio said, walking up to the cranky old man. "Ummm... Are you in charge of these airships?"

The man looked up at Mustadio in an exceptionally cranky way, and then his face brightened into a smile. "Hey, buddy! How the hell are ya?!" he asked.

"Amazing!" Cloud said. "I never thought he'd show up here."

The old man extended his hand to Mustadio. "You're the first person to voluntarily talk to me in years! My name's Davis."

"Argh!" Cloud gulped, and fell on his side.

"Davis, huh?" Mustadio asked, accepting Davis's hand and shaking it. "My name's Mustadio. I'm an engineer, too.. from Ivalice."

"Swell, son," Davis said. "This world needs more engineers, even if they're from some backwards dump like Ivalice."

"Oh, you've been to Ivalice?" Agrias asked as the entire group came up to greet Davis.

"Yeah, I flew out there about three weeks ago," Davis said. "I decided it was time to pack my bags and go when I heard the queen had been murdered by some heretic named Ramza."

"What?!" Rafa gasped. "But... He's Ramza. And that was a lie anyway."

"Oh," Davis said, looking at Ramza. "You're 'Heretic Ramza?'"

"Uhhh... Yes," Ramza said hesitantly.

Davis shrugged. "Ahh, what can ya do? Doesn't bug me. Nice to meet ya, Ramza."

"...Well, that wasn't the expected reaction," Alma said. "I'm surprised in a way."

"Anyway, President Maclus dropped by the other day and told me you guys needed an airship built," Davis said.

"Well, if you have the time, Davis," Cinna said. "We really need it to get to a temple fast."

"Look kids," Davis said. "Do you know how much time it takes to design, build and test an airship? Each one of these ships," he said, waving at the legion of vehicles around. "...Took over three years to make. I can't just whip one up out of the blue!"

"I see..." Ramza said. "Thanks, anyway, Mr. Cid."

"Yo, my name's Davis!" Davis said. "Didn't ya recognize me?!"

"I thought so," Cloud said. "But I guess I was wrong."

"C'mon!!!" Davis growled. "I was a child actor on an anime cartoon years ago! Didn't you watch it?!"

"OK, that's it," the network censor said as she stomped onto the field. "You people have screwed up a lot of stuff now, and I'm going to end this story immediately."

"Hey, you can't do that!" Malak protested.

"Yes, I can," the censor growled. "Now all of you get out of here and find other jobs."

"Yeah?" Agrias growled. "Who's gonna make me?"

The network censor bent over and huge mutant claws shot out of her back just before she transformed into a gigantic, fanged, claw-handed version of herself. "WE'RE GONNA GET LETTERS!!!" she roared angrily.

"I've GOT to learn to stop saying that," Agrias whimpered as she stepped back.

"Everyone's worst nightmare," Ramza gasped. "A mutant network censor!"

"Get ready!" Orlandu said, drawing Excalibur.

"But we can't kill a network censor!" Cloud protested. "They'd fire our asses faster than you can say 'it was like that when I got here!'"

"...Maybe we won't have to hurt it," Rafa said. "I have an idea..."

"NOW DIE!!!" the huge censor roared angrily. Suddenly, Kool-Aid man appeared below her.

"Oh, Yeah!" he shouted, and sloshed Kool-Aid all over her shoes.

"COPYRIGHT VIOLATION!!!" the censor screamed angrily as she pointed at the offending sentient pitcher. Just then, three boy scouts waddled in.

"OK troops! NOW!" one of them shouted. All three scouts took a deep breath and vomited all over the censor's shoes.

"VULGAR HUMOR!!!" the censor yelled, trying to stomp on the boys, but they got away.

"Wanna do it?" a shoddy teen asked his girlfriend.

"Yeah!" the girl said. They grabbed each other and rolled around on the ground.

"PROFANITY!!!" the censor shrieked with a hint of agony in her voice.

"Now, let's throw eggs!" Ramza shouted. Suddenly, baskets of eggs materialized in each person's hand and they all started pitching eggs at the censor. They splattered all over her dress and face.

"SENSELESS VIOLENCE!!!" the censor yelled. "STOP IT OR I'LL HAVE YOU ALL FIRED!!!"

"Quickly, do something stupid and nonsensical!" Mustadio instructed.

"I like traffic lights, I like traffic lights" the group warbled, weakening the censor.

"NONSENSE!!!" the censor screamed. "RATINGS DROPPING! LETTERS! MOUNTAINS OF ANGRY LETTERS! ARRRRGH!"

"It's working! We're psyching the censor out!" Mustadio said. "Keep it up!"

Everyone started running around making weird animal sounds.

"MOOOOO!!!" Meliadoul mooed.

"SCREEEEEE!!!!" Rafa shrieked.

"BACKAWWW BACKAWWW!!!" Orlandu yelled, flapping his arms around madly.

"................." Cloud said.

"Cloud, do something quick!" Alma shouted.

"I'm a giraffe," Cloud explained.

"AAAHAHHHHHHHH!!! STUPID!!! SO STUPID!!!" the censor yelled, stumbling backwards a bit.

"You think this is stupid? Watch THIS!" Ramza yelled.

Everyone fell onto the ground and started rolling around, honking like cars. Then they got up and started banging their heads against brick walls in fast motion. Then they all slapped on checkered trousers and did the Smarty Pants dance.

"Ooh! Ah! Dance In Smarty Pants" Rafa warbled as her legs went every which way.

"Let's all make s'mores with octopus limbs and yak testicles!" Worker No.8 suggested, holding up the nauseating pieces to his unassembled treat.

"COPYRIGHT VIOLENCE!!! SENSELESS INFRINGEMENT! GUWAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" the censor roared, then she fell backwards and exploded. When the smoke cleared, there was just the regular network censor sitting in the lot of airships.

"Did we get her?" Cinna asked.

"That's it! I quit!" the censor yelled, getting up and running off.

"She quit?" Ramza asked. "Are we that spoony?"

"Who cares?!" Malak asked. "Let's PARTY!!!"

"YEAH!!!" everyone cheered, slapping palms and starting to do the Linus Dance from 'A Charlie Brown Christmas.'

* * *

"Sir, there was just a huge explosion at the airship field," Captain Flite said as he handed Delita the binoculars. Delita lifted the trinket to his eyes and looked.

"...Why is everyone doing the Linus Dance from 'Charlie Brown Christmas?'" Delita asked.

"Beats me," Flite said. "Hey, let's all do it too!"

Delita, Flite and all the soldiers started doing the Linus Dance. Then Miraz and Furkkes joined in, too. And then suddenly the whole world was doing the Linus Dance... and the whole underworld as well.

* * *

"Hey, this dance is pretty cool!" Velius remarked.

"Yeah, I could do this all day!" Queklain announced.

"Woohoo! Get down, baby!" Adramelk yelled.

"Can I join you boys?" a woman asked.

"Amelia Aerheart?! WOW!!!" the demons yelled. "SURE!!!"

* * *

After about three hours, everyone stopped doing the Linus Dance and things went back to abnormal. "You guys did a good job, scaring off that censor," Davis remarked.

"Yeah, it's a gift," Cinna said, brushing himself off.

"Well, since I'm in a good mood, why don't I let you guys borrow one of my airships for the trip? I'll fly it myself."

"Really?" Alma asked. "Thank you so much, Davis!"

"It'll take a while to tune up," Davis said. "Come back in the morning."

As the group left the airship field, they all felt a little wiser... and much sillier.


	24. The Battle Within

**CHAPTER 24**

**THE BATTLE WITHIN**

"Well, I guess we can spend the day hanging around Berkana," Cinna said. "I'm goin' home to help my mom and dad with housework. You guys have fun wandering around. Just watch out for pickpockets!"

"All right," Ramza said. "Where's everyone going?"

"I'm going shopping!" Reis cheered gleefully.

"I'm going with her to make sure she doesn't buy a cartload of crap like last time," Meliadoul muttered.

"It's better coming from you than from me," Beowulf chuckled.

"I'll come too," Alma said. "I need my Gold Staff polished."

"There's a neat display of current technology at the city square," Mustadio said. "I'm going to go check it out. Wanna come, Agrias?"

"What? You want me to come?" Agrias asked. "Why?"

"Because, you might learn something," Mustadio chuckled.

Agrias sweatdropped and glared at him. "Hmmmph! That's it! You aren't getting away from THAT one easy!" she growled, following him towards the park.

"I'm going to just check around town," Orlandu said. "I need my sword sharpened."

"Actually, I think I'll come with you," Cloud said. "Anyone who needs their weapons sharpened, come with us!"

Malak and Beowulf joined Cloud and Orlandu as they walked down the street.

"Guess you two will be alone for a bit," Cinna said to Rafa and Ramza. "Worker No.8's going to help me with chores. Come on, Worker!"

"Yes, master," Worker No.8 clicked as it followed Cinna back to his house. Ramza looked at Rafa. "Looks like it's just us, huh?" he said.

Rafa didn't answer. Her face was drawn up in a worried expression. She was thinking about what Delita had said to her and the vision in the mirror. "(Could Ramza have possibly loved Ovelia?)" Rafa asked herself. "(I never saw them together... I've never even met Ovelia, but... No, Ramza wouldn't be so calm if he'd loved her and she was dead... But...)"

"Rafa, are you OK?" Ramza asked. "You're awfully quiet."

"Let's go for a walk," Rafa said, starting to walk forward without much thought. Ramza had to sprint to keep up with her.

* * *

"Take a look at this!" Mustadio said as he pointed to a huge, metal object that hung in front of Agrias and himself.

"...What is it?" Agrias asked without a lot of care.

"What is it?!" Mustadio repeated the question back in a tone that made Agrias think she'd insulted his mother. "What IS it?! Agrias, THIS is the thing that will revolutionize the world! It's the first primitive engine for an automobile!"

"An automobile?" Agrias asked.

"Automobile. 'Auto' means automatic, 'mobile' means movement. Automobile."

"I see..." Agrias said, putting her hand up and scratching her chin with her leather glove. "...And what would this automobile do?"

"Well, it would let a person ride along a trail that would normally take days in a matter of hours," Mustadio said. "It runs on steam too, so it's environmentally safe. This particular model looks to be about 6 CP, or chocopower, which is how many chocobos it would take to normally pull you that far in the same amount of time, and..."

Mustadio stopped because he saw Agrias looking at him strangely. "What?" he asked.

"Huh?" Agrias asked, shaking her head and snapping out of her reverie. "Sorry. I was just amazed that suddenly all your technobabble made sense to me."

"Really?" Mustadio asked.

"Yeah," Agrias answered. "I still think it's kind of stupid, but at least you explain it in a way I can understand."

"That's good," Mustadio said. They both turned and stared at the engine for a little longer.

* * *

"Well, here we are!" Rad said as Alicia, Lavian and he entered the city gates. "Berkana, the capital of Zeratul! Finally, we got that lousy cat out of the tree and Inspector Collect paid us our money. Too bad he paid half of it in free Collect minutes."

"Maybe Captain Agrias is here!" Lavian said.

"She did say we were all going to Berkana," Alicia said.

"Well, let's go find them!" Rad said, starting to walk forward. Suddenly, he tripped and fell into the hole that Ramza had made when fighting Sludge Rodent. Alicia and Lavian stumbled too and plummeted in. Three sloppy splashes were heard.

* * *

"Wow, there's so much stuff in here," Reis said as she looked around the store. "I don't know where to start!"

"That's a first," Meliadoul muttered. Suddenly, something interesting caught her eye. She went over to the music counter and picked up one of the vinyl records for sale. It was simply titled WISHY-WASHY READ-ENDED CACTUS.

"Hmmm..." she said. "Excuse me, could you play this, please?" she asked the clerk. He stuck it on a victrola and it began to play. A screechy girl's voice, a banjo and someone popping his/her thumb in his/her mouth could be heard.

"I... am a ma-a-a-a-a-an of constant sorro-o-o-o-o-o-owwwww" the record warbled. This lasted for about two minutes.

"Wow, who were those guys?" she asked.

"The Wishy-Washy Rear-Ended Cactus," the clerk said. "No one knows who they are, but their album's selling like hotcakes. Want a copy?"

* * *

"Rafa, why are we walking in the back alley where nobody else is?" Ramza asked. Rafa finally turned around and looked at Ramza painfully.

"Ramza, you've always been truthful to me before," she said. "I'd like to think you'd be honest with me now."

Ramza was a bit confused by this, but he was silent and just nodded. Rafa took a deep breath and looked at him.

"...Did you love Ovelia?"

"What?" Ramza asked, a bit surprised.

"Did you love Ovelia? Did you two have feelings for each other?" Rafa pushed. "Be honest, Ramza."

"Well, ummmm..." Ramza started. His mind drifted back to the first time he and Ovelia had actually talked informally...

_(Flashback)_

(PHWWWAARRRRFFF)

"What was that sound?" Mustadio asked. "It sounded like a buffalo farting."

Ramza, Mustadio and Agrias turned around and saw Ovelia helplessly puffing at a twig she had plucked off a tree in an attempt to create a reed flute. Ramza walked out to talk with her.

"My friend taught me how to do this once, but I forgot how," Ovelia explained as she tried to blow the grass again. All that came out was that nasty sound and some globs of regal spittle.

Ramza smiled warmly at her. He walked over and plucked another twig from the tree and stood near her. He put the twig up to his mouth and, looking at her, blew. A shrill whistle emanated from the twig. He watched Ovelia's eyes light up as she mimicked his technique and emitted a low whistle.

"There! I did it!" she said happily. Ramza smiled.

"Nice job," he said. They continued to blow the twigs for a while longer.

_(End Flashback)_

"(Could I possibly have feelings for her? I don't recall having any, but...)" Ramza pondered for a while. "(I suppose I could have at one time, but not anymore, and I know that she didn't express any interest in me... What, I'm doubting my own words now? I have to be honest with Rafa, or I might lose her as a friend and otherwise.)" He turned and faced Rafa, who was awaiting his reply with anxious eyes. He took a deep breath and began.

"I didn't have any romantic feelings for her, Rafa. I wanted to rescue and protect her because I felt it was the right thing to do. We became friends, but the way things went, we never got much closer than that. She departed with the Lucavi after I'd rescued Agrias from Draclau's knight brigade. I can safely say that I didn't love her, Rafa."

"But Delita said-" Rafa started.

"Is that what this is all about?" Ramza asked, almost chuckling. "Rafa, Delita was saying that just to get you to distrust me and break up our friendship. You don't honestly believe him, do you?"

"He showed me this," Rafa said, pulling out the magic mirror. It activated and showed Ramza the vision. Ramza frowned after it had ended, and looked up at Rafa.

"That never happened," Ramza said. "I can tell you that truthfully. Agrias can testify that it never happened too, and so can Mustadio, Rad, Alicia and Lavian. Delita's just trying to mess with your head."

"...I didn't want to believe him," Rafa said. "But it WAS troubling me. That's why I wanted to hear the truth from you personally."

"I understand," Ramza said. "I probably would have done the same thing if I was in your position."

"You would have? Really?" Rafa asked.

"So, are we OK now, Rafa?" Ramza asked.

"Yeah..." Rafa said. "I'm sorry I doubted you, Ramza."

"It's all right... Come on, let's rejoin the others. What are you going to do with that?" Ramza asked, motioning to the mirror.

Rafa flung it against a building. It shattered into a million pieces. "I think it's served its purpose..." she said, turning back to Ramza and smiling warmly.

"You're acting more like me every day," Ramza chuckled as they walked back towards the city square.

Rafa and Ramza walked into the city square and joined Agrias and Mustadio at the aviation booth. "What's up, guys?" Ramza asked.

"Oh, not much," Agrias said as she turned to Ramza. "Mustadio is explaining aerodynamics to me."

"How sweet! He's taking his time to explain things to you," Rafa chuckled. Mustadio had his back turned to the others, but his face was beet red.

"Errr... Why don't we go see how the others are doing?" Mustadio said, turning and walking off towards Cinna's house. Agrias followed at a difference. Ramza and Rafa turned to each other and chuckled a bit, then followed them.


	25. Feuerheit Volcano

**CHAPTER 25**

**FEUERHEIT VOLCANO**

In the morning, the party reconvened at Davis's airfield. "So Cinna, where do we go next?" Ramza asked the bard.

"Fello City is the only city we haven't visited," Cinna said. "It's on the top of Stellar Mountain, just beyond Feuerheit Volcano, which you can see from here..." He pointed at a mountain in the distance that had smoke curling up from its top.

"I can't guarantee your safety," Davis said as he wiped his face with a greasy handkerchief. "But I'll try to fly to Fello. Get in, everyone!"

"'Can't guarantee our safety?!'" Agrias roared. "What do you mean?!"

"The volcano's been erupting randomly for the past year," Davis said. "If we were passing over it and it erupted all of a sudden..."

"(Ulp!)" Agrias gulped. "...I see your point."

"So it's a little dangerous," Meliadoul shrugged. "So what? We've faced worse."

"Meliadoul's right," Cinna said, hopping onto the airship. "Let's get cracking!"

Meliadoul appreciated the fact that Cinna agreed with her, but she said nothing.

"I have my reservations, but..." Rafa said. "...It's the only way, isn't it?"

"It looks that way," Ramza said. "Let's go, everyone!"

After the party had boarded the airship, Davis let the craft hover upwards to a reasonable altitude. Then he threw some switches and the craft started moving towards the smoke-spewing crater.

* * *

"What are the odds of getting hired for two propositions in a row that have the SAME GUY as a boss?!" Lavian complained as she moved the sponge around the rim of the titanic bathtub.

"When they said 'housecleaning,' I thought they meant dusting and stuff..." Alicia muttered as she adjusted her close pin and continued scrubbing the toilet. "Whoo! This guy's pretty fond of southwestern cooking."

"C'mon, hurry up and scrub mah tub!" Inspector Collect yelled angrily. "Ah pity da fool can't scrub mah tub! An' don't figget, dial 1-800-COLLECT AN' use Northwestern Title Loans!"

"Sheesh," Rad groaned as he cleaned out the hair trap in the shower. "Inspector Collect doesn't have much hair, so how does all this junk GET here?!"

* * *

"Beoulve's lifting off," Captain Flite said as he watched the airship sail off out of Berkana.

"The final city in Zeratul is Fello City," Admiral Miraz said as he observed a map. "They resemble the ancient Roman Empire in their style of clothing and building structure."

"I see..." Delita said. "Flite, order your troops to move out. We'll go around the volcano and wait for Ramza in Fello."

"...Yes, sir," Captain Flite said reluctantly and saluted.

"Looks like things are drawing to a close," Olan said as he observed the troops from a safe distance.

"Well, we'd better keep following them," Balmafula growled. "No telling when Ramza will need our help."

"I just wish I'd have brought my report," Olan grumbled. "This would have been great to write about."

* * *

"Wow, this airship ride is a lot smoother than the last one," Meliadoul said as she leaned back and enjoyed the ride. The only other airship that the party had ridden was the one where they had battled Ajora.

"What was your other ride like?" Cinna asked.

Meliadoul frowned. "Why do you have to know absolutely everything? I swear, you're like an annoying little brother."

"I'm just trying to be friendly," Cinna said.

"Well, don't bother," Meliadoul growled. "Just leave me alone."

"Alone, huh?" Cinna asked. "Well, if you keep pushing away people that try to be your friends, you're gonna be alone, all right."

Meliadoul's glare softened at this as she thought over Cinna's words. "Hmmph!" she sniffed as she turned away from him.

"Yes, it's quite comfortable," Orlandu said. "Davis, how long will it be before we reach Fello?"

"The ride'll take about an hour or so," Davis said. "Look, we're passing the volcano now."

The group looked down into the steaming pit of melting rock. "Wow," Ramza said. "That thing's much bigger than Bervenia Volcano."

"I sure wouldn't want to land in there," Cinna chuckled.

Down below, a dark figure looked upwards, taking note of the airship. "Now is the time..." it squawked. "Spew forth, magma! Destroy that vessel!!!"

"Hey, what the-" Agrias started to say as she looked down into the volcano. "...Mustadio, what's that?"

"Good grief, the lava's rising," Mustadio said, beads of sweat starting to form on his brow. "Davis, get us outta here! The volcano's gonna-"

Before Mustadio could finish his sentence, the airship was engulfed in a barrage of liquid flame. The tiny craft was shot upwards by the huge magma explosion, and then it plummeted downwards.

"I can't steer any more!!!" Davis yelled to the others.

"We're gonna crash!!!" Alma shouted. "Brother, save me!"

"Me, too!!!" Rafa shouted as both girls clung to Ramza as the airship fell deep into the volcano's bowels.

* * *

"Unghhh...." Ramza groaned as he sat up. The first thing he realized was that he wasn't dead. The second thing he noticed was that it was HOT. He looked around and saw all his friends lying around, unconscious. Rafa lay next to him, her arm draped loosely over his left leg.

"Hey guys, wake up!" Ramza called. "We're alive!"

"Huh?" Cloud asked as he got up. "Hey, we ARE alive! Thank God!"

"Man, is it hot," Malak said as he stood up. "Someone turn on a fan or something! I'm roasting!"

"We must be deep inside the volcano," Mustadio said. "...Is the airship OK?"

The group turned around, and to their dismay they saw the airship jutting through the side of the wall, an absolute mess. They also heard the sounds of Davis cussing and metal being smacked together.

"Davis?" Ramza asked as he walked over. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," Davis said as he emerged from the side. "But the ship ain't. It's gonna take a while to repair, but we may not have much time if the volcano blows again."

"But you're working as fast as you can?" Agrias asked.

"Yep," Davis chuckled. "If you can find some way to stop the eruptions, I'll have this sucker fixed in about a day. But that's a long time to be down here, so why don't you start walkin' for Fello and I'll catch up?"

"First we have to find a way out of here," Meliadoul said. "I assume that there's an exit at the top of the volcano."

"Good, you took Earth Science," Mustadio chuckled. "Ramza, all of us going isn't a smart idea. Take four people with you and find the way out. The rest of us will stay here and help Davis with repairs."

"All right," Ramza said. "Let's see... Cloud, you have your Ice Magic equipped right now, so I want you. Worker No.8 will do nice for splitting any rocks we come across, and Orlandu and Agrias's sword attacks will come in handy if trouble appears. You four, come with me."

"Be careful, Ramza!" Rafa called.

"Yeah, don't step in the lava," Alma added. "It'll burn your toes clean off."

"We'll be OK," Ramza said as his four comrades and he headed upwards on some jagged rocks.

"Yo, would someone hand me some pliers?" Davis yelled from the airship.

"Coming!" Mustadio said, anxiously running over to assist.

* * *

"Climb, climb, climb..." Cloud grumbled. "This is just like the Crater, but I'm climbing up instead of down! I prefer down."

"Down is where the magma is," Agrias huffed. "You don't want to go there."

"Sensors indicate that we are 4 kilometers from the volcano's top," Worker No.8 beeped as he effortlessly scaled the cliff.

"Look at him go," Orlandu chuckled. "I wish I had that kind of energy."

Suddenly, a huge crack was heard, and a hole opened up in the wall. Hot lava spewed out of it like water spewing out of a garden hose. "Woah!" Ramza panted. "That stuff's blocking our way! Worker No.8, block the magma flow."

"Wait a minute, Ramza!" Agrias objected. "Worker No.8 is built from steel. He'd melt faster than an ice cube on a griddle if he walked into that magma!"

"How'd you know that, Agrias?" Cloud asked.

"Mustadio was teaching me about Worker No.8's systems," Agrias explained. "We got around to latent heat of fusion, and the question popped up."

"You two seem to be understanding each other better," Orlandu said.

"I..." Agrias started to say. Then she shook her head and resumed her usual gruffness. "He's still a dope, but I thought I'd brush up on this stuff."

"All right," Ramza said. "Worker No.8, use rocks to block the magma."

"As you wish, master," Worker No.8 beeped, shoving a load of rocks into the hole. The lava stopped flowing.

"Good, now we can cross," Agrias said, hopping on the rocks and walking over.

Orlandu, Cloud and Ramza looked at each other, then they followed Agrias over the rocks. Worker No.8 trailed behind them.

"Are we there yet?" Orlandu asked as they climbed.

"No," Agrias growled.

The group climbed a little more. "How about now?" Orlandu asked again.

"No," Agrias huffed.

They climbed a little more. "How about-" Orlandu started to say.

"NO!!!" Agrias yelled angrily.

"Why am I suddenly experiencing deja vu?" Cloud asked.

"Hey, I can see blue sky!" Ramza called from the front. "We're almost there!"

"GRAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

The group froze as two candelabras with blue and purple-flamed candles appeared on the sides of the volcano. A huge circle with a picture of a rooster in it appeared in the magma below. Everyone watched as a flaming, mechanical bird flew out of the lava and confronted them.

"How dare you set foot in my domain!" the bird yelled. "When fire meets flesh, flesh loses every time!"

"You must be the Rooster Mechannite," Ramza said.

"Roaster Rooster is my name," Roaster Rooster cackled. "And now I'll get rid of all of you at once! Then our master can come back into the world without a care!"

"You're the one causing this volcano to erupt, aren't you?" Agrias yelled. "We'll defeat you and stop the lava!"

"Just try it!" the heated cock cackled.

"May I suggest against using that word?" the network censor asked. "It could be offensive to some viewers."

"Go away!!!" Roaster Rooster yelled as he grabbed the censor and flung her into the lava.

"Let's get him, guys!" Ramza shouted. "WAVE FIST!!!"

Ramza swung his fist and a blue sphere flew out and knocked Roaster Rooster for a loop. He quickly recovered and hovered menacingly over the group.

"FLARE PILLARS!!!" Roaster Rooster shouted, lifting his wings to reveal to large cannons. Giant blasts of fire launched from them and torched the group.

"Eyyaaaaghghhhh!!!" Orlandu shouted. "My whole body is burning! SPLIT PUNCH!!!"

The destructive sword flew upwards from the volcano and struck Roaster Rooster in the stomach. He fluttered about for a moment, but then recovered and attacked again. "BLAZER BEAK!!!" he yelled, flying at Agrias with a flaming peck. Agrias took the blow in her stomach and hissed in pain as part of her armor melted.

"You lousy 10-piece dinner!" she shouted. "You're going down! LIGHTNING STAB!!!"

Agrias's electric attack knocked Roaster Rooster downwards, but he flew back up and glowered at the party. "You are weaklings!!!" he said angrily. "Try this on for size!!! INFERNO!!!"

Much to everyone's horror, the volcano started to rumble. Large globs of magma started to float up towards the surface, like the things in a lava lamp.

"What's happening?" Ramza asked. "I thought that magma was going to fly at us, but it's going straight up..."

The group watched the lava rise until it all started to fuse together at the top of the volcano. It formed a gigantic sphere and flew down at the group at a deadly velocity.

"AAAHHH!!! RUN!!!" Agrias yelled.

"I will protect the master," Worker No.8 said, standing between the ball and the humans.

"No, Worker! You'll be destroyed!" Ramza called.

Worker No.8 punched the sphere as it fell, and it bounced off and hit Roaster Rooster, who took excessive damage from it. "CAAAWWWWWW!!!" the fowl shrieked as he went into a dive.

"Wow, Worker No.8, I didn't think you could do that," Orlandu said.

"I am very strong," Worker No.8 beeped as an explanation. Of course, the group didn't notice Roaster Rooster reappear until it was too late.

"FIRE SHIELD!!!" the mechanical drumstick yelled, surrounding himself in a barrier of liquid magma. "Just try to fight me now, kiddies!" he cackled.

"Blastar Punch!!!" Orlandu yelled, sending the helmet-shattering beam towards the foul fowl. It just vanished as it touched the lava.

"HOLY EXPLOSION!!!" Agrias screamed as she launched the divine attack, which fizzled out as it touched the molten rock.

"Face it, kids, you can't defeat the volcano itself!!!" Roaster Rooster laughed, preparing to end the battle with another Flare Pillar attack.

"We haven't lost yet," Cloud said, standing defiantly before the rooster.

"...Cloud?" Ramza asked.

"I was pulled out of my time," Cloud growled. "I was ripped away from my friends and my home... I was brought to this place and forced to fight a battle I didn't belong in... Well, I want to go home, and I'll do anything to get back there!!!"

"What is this?!" Roaster Rooster yelled angrily.

"They're your last moments," Cloud answered coldly. "ICE 4!!!"

Everyone watched as a giant mound of ice encased the bird and his shield. The shield slowly solidified to solid rock, and the whole mess dropped into the volcano with a splash. The candelabras faded away, and the Rooster Stone appeared neatly in Cloud's hand.

"...Wow, Cloud," Ramza said. "That was great!"

"I didn't know you wanted to go back to where you came from that much, Cloud," Agrias said.

"Tifa... Barret... Vincent... I miss 'em all, even Yuffie," Cloud sighed. "I really want to go home."

"Guys!!!"

The group looked around to see Cinna and the others running up the slope they had climbed. They stopped in front of the warriors and gasped for breath.

"We ran as... fast as we could... to catch up..." Alma panted.

"What just happened?" Rafa asked. "We heard fighting."

"Did you beat a Mechannite?" Mustadio asked. "Look, the volcano's dying!"

Everyone looked down at the pit of lava. Sure enough, it was quickly hardening into solid rock once more.

"Yeah, we defeated him," Ramza said. "We have the Rooster Stone."

"Rooster Stone, huh?" Cinna asked. "I believe that one allows the user to travel to other times."

"Other times?!" Agrias asked. "Well, Cloud, it looks like you got your wish. You can go home now!"

Cloud looked down at the little red stone in his hand. He handed it to a surprised Ramza and shook his head. "I can't go home..." Cloud said. "...Not yet. I'll see this battle to the end. Besides, you're all my friends too."

"...Thank you, Cloud," Ramza said. Cloud nodded solemnly.

"Hey, what're we all doing standing around like dummies?" Cinna asked. "Let's go! The exit is right up there!"

"Yeah!" the group said, and started to climb the remaining few feet that separated them from the exit.

"Say, can that stone bring other people out, too?" Malak asked.

"Why don't we try?" Ramza asked, holding the stone out. A portal opened in midair. Squall came tumbling out and landed in the lava just before it cooled off entirely.

"...Oops," Alma said. The group quickly scrambled up the hill and left.


	26. Stellar Mountain

**CHAPTER 26**

**STELLAR MOUNTAIN**

"Man, we've been hiking up this hill for HOURS," Malak groaned. "Are we anywhere NEAR the top yet?"

"We'll be there in another 6 hours," Cinna said. "That is, if we keep up a steady pace and don't stop for breaks."

"What?!" Mustadio yelled. "But we have to EAT! We're not machines, Cinna!"

"I am," Worker No.8 said as he marched along at the front of the group.

"Shut yer trap, ya walking can opener," Meliadoul growled. The long height was apparently taking its toll, since she was slurring her words together.

"I hope we reach the top soon," Rafa complained. "I'm not sure if I can keep up this walking..."

"Relax," Agrias said to the exotic girl. "If you get tired, I'm sure Ramza will carry you. Isn't that right, Ramza?"

"Errrrr..." Ramza muttered, going red.

Rafa giggled. "It's nice to have such caring friends," she said. "But I can't help worrying about what will happen when we reach the temple..."

"Rafa?" Malak asked.

"I have this deep sense of dread," Rafa said. "I feel as if before this adventure is over, one of us will be dead... My Heaven Skill can't let me see the future, but I can feel the emotions I'll feel in the future. I've been feeling sad and terrified since yesterday..."

"Rafa..." Ramza started to say.

"Do you know how it feels to have those horrible feelings inside of you?" Rafa asked, suddenly tearing up and getting emotional. "I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it! I don't want anyone to die..."

"Now, now, don't get your harem pants in a twist," Cinna said. "I'm sure we'll all be alive and well when the trip's done."

"But... but..." Rafa started.

"You need to stay calm, Rafa," Ramza said, walking down beside her and putting his hand on her shoulder. "I can't have you... I don't want you panicking when we... I... need you most."

"Ramza..." Rafa started to say.

Suddenly, the air was split with a tremendous roar. The group turned around and was delighted to see Davis's airship flying up towards them. It came to rest just above them, and Davis's unshaven face leered down at them.

"Need a lift, guys?" Davis called, extending a rope ladder.

"Thanks, Davis!" Orlandu called as they began to scale the ladder.

"No problem," Davis chuckled. "Come on, we'll be at Fello City in three hours with this craft."

"That beats six hours of walking hands down," Agrias said. "Thanks a lot, Davis!"

The airship lifted upwards and sailed off into the clouds.

* * *

"Whoo! Whose airship do you think that was?!" Rad asked as Alicia, Lavian and he watched Davis's airship fly away.

"Maybe we should have asked for a ride," Lavian sighed. "I'm really tired here."

"Why'd our third proposition have to be hiking up here to take a nice picture for Inspector Collect's Christmas cards?!" Alicia complained. "He drives me nuts!"

"Well, we'd better keep moving," Rad said. "If it gets dark, we'll never get a good shot."

The three chain-gang-runaways continued hiking up the mountain. "Do you think we'll ever see Ramza or Captain Agrias again?" Lavian asked.

"I don't know," Alicia sighed. "But we're following a similar path. I can feel it in my bones..."

"I wonder if they've found any more of those Chinese Zodiac Stones?" Lavian asked. "They'd make resurrecting Queen Ovelia much easier."

"You know, I've noticed something about you guys," Rad said, turning to face his friends. "You guys always stay within the boundaries of Knights. You never question orders, and your first loyalty is to either Agrias or Ovelia."

"We have to protect the Queen," Lavian argued.

"It's in the Knight's code," Alicia added.

"But you guys aren't official Knights anymore," Rad said. "Ovelia's personal bodyguards aren't needed when she's dead, and you've all been booted out of Ivalice's army. Why not pursue your own interests?"

"Pursue our own interests?" Lavian asked.

"...Maybe we will after this quest is over," Alicia said. "But first things first. We must find Captain Agrias and the others!"

"Whatever," Rad sighed. "But let's bed down for the night. It's getting late."

That night, the three friends sat around a poorly-lit fire and watched the stars come out on the mountainside. "It's so beautiful," Lavian said. "I've always been fascinated by the stars and planets... Astronomy was my favorite elective course at the academy."

"Not me," Alicia said. "I find that stuff a bit boring. I prefer fantasy to science."

"Sounds like you two aren't carbon copies of each other like I once thought," Rad said. "What else do you like?"

"I like to work with fabrics," Alicia said. "I knitted some gloves for myself once."

"I love to paint," Lavian said. "Watching all the mediums and colors flow together to create something beautiful and majestic... It stirs something inside of my soul."

"Oh, were you the one that did the oil painting of the academy grounds, Lavian?" Alicia asked. "I saw that. It's really nice."

"Thanks," Lavian chuckled. "I saw the rug you knitted for Professor Daravon. Really nice work."

Rad smiled as he listened to the two knights compare interests. He discovered that he had them pegged all wrong; ever since he had met them at Orbonne Monastery, he had thought they were just two friends that had knew each other so well that they finished each other's sentences. He noticed they always ate the same stuff and walked side by side almost on every hike. He had even thought that they may have been romantically involved with each other.

But sitting here, listening to each one make discoveries about the other, he realized that Alicia and Lavian just hadn't been given time to really get to know each other. As he listened to them compare likes and dislikes, he felt as if they were meeting each other for the first time. He sat back and looked up at the sky, satisfied with his good deed for the day.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I like guys who have big... ah... you know..." Alicia said.

"Oh, give me a break," Lavian chuckled. "It's all about personality for me. If he's a meat head, I'm not interested. Do you know what I mean?"

Meanwhile, a few yards from their position, a mechanical figure hovered in the darkness. "I detect only three of Ramza's party," he beeped. "Ramza is not among them. However, I will defeat them and then locate the others. Begin astral simulation!"

"Yeah, and-" Lavian started to say, and then stopped. "Hey, what just happened? I thought we were on a mountain side."

Rad and Alicia looked around. Sure enough, the mountain had vanished and they were all sitting in the middle of a dark blue sphere. The constellations that glittered in the night sky decorated the sides of the sphere above and below and all around them. Two candelabras appeared on the sides, their candles blazing with blue and purple flames. A circle with a picture of a rabbit appeared in the center, where they stood.

"Stay alert!" Rad said. "It's an illusion. Someone's trying to mess us up."

"How very correct you are," a voice said. They all turned around in time to see a strange figure emerge from the side of the sphere. He hovered in the air, suspended by an unknown force. His lower section was spherical and two balls with gun cannons inside them hovered around it. His torso was of a square build, and his arms were wiry and yet thick. His head was a half-sphere, with unblinking, black eyes and a pink nose with whiskers emerging. Two long ears protruded from the top and stood at attention.

"Are you one of those Mechannites that the bard talked about?" Alicia asked.

"You are correct," the robotic rabbit said. "My designation is Astro Hare, the Rabbit Mechannite. I must defeat you to ensure the master's revival. But before we begin the battle, I must issue an inquiry... Where are your comrades?"

"Our friends?" Lavian asked. "We got separated a long time ago, back in Nazdrubia. We've been trying to find them ever since, but we've had no luck..."

"I see..." Astro Hare said quietly. "Well, now that you are separated from your friends, I shall eliminate you. After you are deleted, I'll find your comrades and dispose of them as well."

"You're not going anywhere near Captain Agrias!" Alicia and Lavian shouted at the same time, drawing their Rune Blades and standing at attention.

"We'll defeat you and find Ramza!" Rad shouted as he pulled out his Slasher Axe.

"Prepare yourselves!" Astro Hare warned. "Begin astral rotation!"

All around them, the constellations began to spin rapidly. "Whaaaa..." Alicia groaned. "I'm... getting dizzy..."

"Stay in control, Alicia," Lavian prompted her friend. "It's an illusion. We're still on the mountainside."

"Yeah, you can't get to us with your parlor tricks!" Rad shouted. "We'll defeat you anyway!"

"So be it," Astro Hare said in his monotone voice. "Begin attack mode."

The cannons hovering around Astro Hare began to fire red lasers at the three warriors. Alicia took a blow and fell backwards. Rad dashed over and helped her up. "Alicia, are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Rad," Alicia said, getting back up. "Lavian, let's both attack at the same time."

"Got it, Alicia," Lavian said, her sword drawn and ready.

"Your efforts are futile," Astro Hare said, beginning a rapid barrage of lasers. The girls took some hits, but they kept running towards the mechanical bunny.

"WEAPON BREAK!!!" they yelled at the same time, bringing their swords down on the two cannons. The guns shattered instantly, and Astro Hare slunk back a few yards.

"That development was highly improbable," the robotic rabbit said as he clicked and whirred. "I shall have to resort to a new strategy. Begin antigravity surge."

Astro Hare began to glow, and suddenly Rad, Alicia and Lavian were lifted off the ground. "What the hell?!" Rad yelled.

"He's using some sort of weapon that stops gravity," Lavian explained. "We're weightless. We must battle in the air instead of on the ground."

"I don't know what you just said, but I'll keep fighting," Alicia said. "This is for the Queen!"

"You shall not win," Astro Hare said, his chest opening to reveal a large, nasty-looking laser weapon. "Prepare to be vaporized."

The laser fired and the force ripped through the armor and shields of the friends. As their defenses were ripped away, Rad clung to his axe and eyed the rabbit with a look of defiant anger.

"Guys, toss me at that bunny!" Rad shouted angrily. Alicia and Lavian grabbed Rad's arms and flung him at the mechanical hopper. He drew out his axe as he flew.

"What is this?..." Astro Hare asked as Rad flew at him.

"Accumulate!" Rad yelled, charging up his attack power. He then collided with Astro Hare and sunk his axe into the cannon. Sparks flew every which way, and Astro Hare gave a mechanical grunt. The antigravity weapon lost its effect and the battlers fell back down to the ground.

"Nice job, Rad!" Lavian cheered.

"Go, Rad, go!" Alicia shouted.

"This battle is not over," Astro Hare said. "You have only sealed your fate. Armageddon mode. Casting Astral Annihilation."

Astro Hare rose high up into the air and began to spin around. Suddenly, huge asteroids came plummeting down from all around the stellar sphere.

"Whaaa! Look out!!!" Lavian yelled.

"Without armor, we're sitting ducks!" Alicia cried.

"Not just yet," Rad growled. He stood up and got hit by one of the asteroids. He went sailing across the sphere and collided with the other wall.

"RAD!!" Alicia and Lavian cried at the same time.

"One is down. Two more to destroy," Astro Hare droned in his emotionless voice.

"One... is NOT down..." Rad panted as he stood up.

"Rad?" Lavian asked.

"What are you doing?" Alicia asked.

"I've been studying under Ramza for years," Rad said, putting his hands together. "I was ready to master it; all I needed was a big enough hit... Now I'm ready..."

"Resistance is futile," Astro Hare beeped as he began to summon more asteroids to fall from the heavens.

"Futile for you, maybe!" Rad shouted. "ULTIMA!!!!"

Rad charged up the holy spell and hurled it with all his might at Astro Hare. The spell exploded all over the rabbit, short-circuiting him and sending him crashing to the ground. The sphere faded away and the party found itself back on the mountainside.

"Impressive," Astro Hare beeped as his systems slowly began to shut down. "Though you are by far the weakest of Ramza's comrades, you are strong enough to defeat me... The odds were against you, but you succeeded... Congratulations."

Astro Hare exploded, scattering shrapnel and metal shards everywhere. When he was gone, the gray Rabbit Stone floated down into Rad's dirty hand. "What's this?" he asked.

"It looks like that stone Ramza found in the Nazdrubia mines," Lavian pointed out.

"I wonder what it does?" Alicia asked, taking the stone from Rad and holding it. Suddenly, it glittered, and Alicia found herself surrounded in glistening, golden armor. "What... What IS this?!" she asked.

"Amazing!" Lavian said. "That stone generates powerful armor! We must get it back to Ramza and Captain Agrias!"

"I wonder how many more Mechannites there are out there now?" Rad asked. "Well, before we leave to find Ramza, we should finish the proposition and... (gulp)... take Inspector Collect's Christmas picture."

"Oh, yeah, we forgot..." Alicia and Lavian said as they sweatdropped and hung their heads.

* * *

"What... Astro has been defeated now?" Draco growled as he felt the rabbit Mechannite's systems crash.

"Looks like we're all that's left," one of the girls said.

"What do we do now, boss?" the second girl asked.

"...We shall wait here for Ramza, and slit his throat when he comes," Draco growled. "Our mages will continue the chant and open the pathway to the Realm of the Dead so Ajora's spirit may enter into the body of this murdered queen. Come, my servants, let us go and wait for Beoulve."

"You got it, boss!" the girls said as they followed Draco out of the dark room where the pungent odor of death and decay held dominion over all.


	27. Furkkes's Last Stand

**CHAPTER 27**

**FURKKES'S LAST STAND**

"This ship is flying great!" Ramza said as he walked up to where Davis was steering the ship. "How'd you get it fixed so fast?"

"You'd be amazed at what super glue can do," Davis chuckled. "Ah, there's Fello City, the last great metropolis of Zeratul."

"Guys, wake up! We're here!" Ramza called to his slumbering friends. They were all tired and worn out from the long hike up the mountain before.

"(Snrrrrrrrk)... What? Huh?!" Agrias asked, her head jerking up. "I wasn't snoring!"

"Gimme a break," Mustadio grumbled as he stretched. "Anyone with a five-mile radius could hear you."

This comment was answered with a sock in the face. "Touchy," Mustadio concluded. This was followed with another socking.

"I've just contacted the mayor of Fello," Davis said, hitting some buttons. "He's given me clearance to land in the field just outside the city. Hold on, we're going down!"

Davis set the airship down just outside the city, and the group hopped out. "What a strange-looking city," Rafa commented as the party looked around at the huge pillars and statues of gods and goddesses.

"It's built like the ancient Roman Empire," Davis said. "What did you expect?"

"Where's Rome?" Alma asked innocently. Everyone sweatdropped.

* * *

"This must be Fello City," Captain Flite said as Delita's army reached the top of the mountain and had a grand view of the city.

"What a filthy hovel," Delita snorted. "But it's where Ramza and all his friends shall finally meet his end..."

"...And where my fallen comrades shall finally be avenged," Dr. Furkkes cackled evilly. "Utena and Torokann will destroy those little pests, master."

"GRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Utena roared from her cage.

"Do you think we should warn Ramza?" Balmafula asked Olan as they huddled behind some boulders.

"No, not yet," Olan said. "If Delita decides to take Ramza out personally, then we warn him. Until then, we'll just have to wait..."

* * *

"Wow," Malak commented as the party hiked through the town. "This place looks ancient, but the technology being used is far more advanced than anything I've ever seen..."

"The major industry of Fello is technology," Cinna said. "They construct all the gizmos and gadgets that the other cities use, but they themselves like to keep things simple. That's why they built their town like this and wear little more than togas and sandals."

"That's comforting," Meliadoul said. "It's nice to see a town that isn't swept up in a technology trap."

"Of course, I wish they'd use indoor plumbing," Orlandu grimaced as the party passed a loaded aqueduct. The stench was unbearable.

"Yuck," Agrias growled, making a face. "Still, it's better than in Ivalice. Remember in Dorter how people go in the streets? They just drop their pants, squat, and-"

"Can we talk about something else?" Cloud asked quickly.

"Fello is also well known for its entertainment industry," Cinna said. "They have the finest bathhouses, dining halls and coliseums in the world."

"That sounds neat," Mustadio said. "Why don't we check that out sometime?"

Suddenly, a loud roar was heard from further down the street. "What was that?!" Alma asked.

"Trouble," Ramza growled, running through the now panicking crowd that dashed through the streets in blind fear.

Ramza and company arrived in the Colosseum, where they came face to face with a horrible creature. It had the face of a ram, and it held two huge cleavers in its hands. Its lion body rippled with dectructive-looking muscles and its huge bat wings allowed it to hover above the ground, which compensated for its tiny feet. "What the hell is THAT?!" Mustadio asked.

"Eee heee heee..." Furkkes's laugh echoed through the stadium as he, Delita, Flite and Miraz stepped into the ring from the opposite entrance. "Meet Utena, the ultimate Lucavite!"

"Utena?!" Rafa asked. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Excuse me, but-" the network censor started to say.

"One word and I'll stick dynamite down your pants," Agrias growled, pointing menacingly at the censor, who promptly backed off and disappeared.

"Utena, get rid of them," Furkkes cackled. "Start with Ramza!"

"KILL!!!" Utena roared, her two swords glistening in the late afternoon sunlight. "LIGHTNING STAB!!!"

"Uwaaaahhh!" Ramza yelled as he was electrocuted by the Heavenly Knight attack. He was thrown backwards and collided with Worker No.8.

"Hey, I thought only Heavenly Knights could use that attack!" Alma exclaimed.

"Thunder God Cid was nice enough to leave some of his DNA behind at the fight with Touga," Furkkes sneered. "It was easy to graft his sword skills into my darling. Now Utena, finish them!!!"

"DIE!!!" Utena roared, diving towards them.

"Battle formation!!!" Ramza shouted. Malak, Cinna, Meliadoul, Alma and he all stepped out from the rest of the group and readied their weapons.

"CRIMSON CURSE!!!" Utena roared, spewing red, toxic gases from her mouth. When the stuff covered the party members, they all were poisoned and dropped to their knees.

"Argh! What a sneaky tactic!" Meliadoul growled. She struggled to stand up, her Save The Queen unwavering in her hands. She charged the beast and delivered a devastating slash. Utena staggered backwards, but was unshaken. She used her wings to create a whirlwind that picked up the fighters and flung them all over the Colosseum.

"Whaaaaaahhhh!!!" Alma yelled as she was blown sky high. "MBarrier!!!"

The mystical shield kicked in just as she hit the ground. She bounced off the dirt, unharmed.

"Lemme try to soothe this savage beast!" Cinna said, his lute poised and ready. "Tenor Trasher!"

Cinna strummed his lute and sang in a strong voice. Gigantic, stone notes appeared out of nowhere and began raining down upon Utena. The beast roared in frustration, but refused to give up easily.

"Asura Back!" Malak yelled, sending the demon rays to scorch Utena. Though one could clearly hear her scream as the rays zapped her, she stayed standing and vicious-looking.

"CRUSH PUNCH!!!" Utena yelled, swinging her cleavers. The red, pyramid-shaped spikes shot out from the ground, blowing everyone skywards and then down again.

"Woah, that chick knows how to dish it out..." Cinna panted.

"You call this fighting?" Delita asked as he yawned. "I am unimpressed. I thought you were powerful, Ramza."

"Ngrrr..." Ramza wheezed as he stood up. "You haven't beaten me yet! Not by a long shot!" he withdrew the Pig and Monkey stones and became invisible.

"What's he doing?" Malak asked.

"I think I know," Alma said.

Utena looked around in frustration. "Utena, when you hear him yell, strike where the sound comes from!" Furkkes commanded.

"(Then I guess I won't yell at all,)" Ramza thought as he began to stomp his feet on the ground. All around, the ground started to shake. Utena, surprised, fell backwards and hit the pavement. The Colosseum was beginning to fall apart as well. A huge chunk of one of the walls collapsed and the rocks fell down and crushed Utena flat. She screamed in pain and evaporated.

"Way to go, Ramza!" Rafa cheered from the sidelines. Ramza reappeared and stuck the stones back in his pack.

"You're surrounded, Delita!" Agrias yelled. "Give up and go home!"

"Not until I bring the heretic with me!" Delita shouted. "Furkkes, you're up now."

"Of course, master," Furkkes said. "It was an honor to serve you, King Delita."

"What have you got up your sleeve?" Meliadoul asked suspiciously.

"This..." Furkkes cackled as he pulled out the Taurus stone.

"What the?!" Ramza asked, recoiling in surprise.

"Ramza, did you forget to bring those stones along?!" Mustadio yelled, smacking himself in the head. "Just great!"

"Time to die, insects," Furkkes said as he began to laugh maniacally and raised the stone over his head. Lightning flashed. Red rays began to flow into Furkkes and then all went white for a moment. When the light faded, a huge bull stood in front of the attackers. It was colored a crimson red, and it snorted smoke when it exhaled. A tremendous golden ring hung from its nose.

"A Lucavi!" Alma gasped.

"I am Torokann, the last of the Lucavi," Torokann announced. "I will kill all of you and avenge my fallen comrades! NIGHTMARE!!!"

"Big deal," Malak said. "Nightmare just puts ya to sleep. What harm can it do?"

"MY Nightmare is much different!" Torokann announced, unleashing the purple blast of energy. The power was so immense, Ramza and company were thrown backwards into their resting comrades.

"OWWW!!! Watch where you fall!" Agrias yelled, shoving Cinna off of her. "Get back out there!"

"Please be careful, brother," Rafa said as she gently pushed Malak off of her.

"Come on, guys! Let's get 'im!" Meliadoul yelled, her sword ready to hack into the beast's flesh.

"I'm with you, Mel," Cinna said. Meliadoul smiled faintly for a second, but then covered it up with a frown.

"I'll cast MBarrier over everyone," Alma said, beginning the magic chant.

"Pathetic humans," Torokann mused. "How did Hashmalum fall to you?"

"We'll show you how!!!" Malak yelled. "SKY DEMON BACK!!!"

"Rumbaaaaaaa!" Cinna sang.

The two attacks hit Torokann at the same time and he was knocked backwards. He then got up and stomped towards the group. He swung his mighty fists and sent everyone flying.

"OUCH!!!" Meliadoul yelled as she crashed into one of the stone walls of the Colosseum.

"Argh!" Cinna wheezed as he landed flat on his back in front of the other party members.

"G'naaagh!" Malak grunted as he landed in one of the front-row seats behind the wall.

"Ungghhhh..." Ramza groaned as he struggled to get up.

"Ramza, please get up and fight!" Rafa shouted.

"I thought my lie would take her out of the picture," Delita muttered behind the fight.

"The girl cares for him more than we thought," Miraz commented.

"What did you say?!" Delita asked angrily.

"Nothing, sir," Miraz said, clamming up and standing at attention.

"What annoying little flies," Torokann said, stomping up to Ramza and preparing to crush his skull with his hoof.

"Ramza!!!" Rafa cried.

"MBARRIER2!!!" Alma yelled, unleashing a holy spell of protection. Torokann's leg came down, but it bounced off of Ramza's magical shield.

"Curses!" Torokann yelled. Ramza got up and readied his sword.

"I'll destroy all Lucavi like you!" Ramza yelled, running up and sending his sword straight through Torokann. Black blood spewed out of both sides of the gaping wound. Torokann stood still, his mouth wide open and his beady eyes in a petrified expression of surprise.

"You... killed me..." Torokann wheezed as he sunk to his knees. "So that's why you're all so strong... Weak people join forces to overcome the powerful... I admire you and your friends, Beoulve. Farewell!"

Torokann shimmered a while and then exploded. The Taurus stone fell to the ground, and Ramza reclaimed it. "It's not a Chinese Zodiac Stone, but we can't let Delita get his mitts on it," Meliadoul said.

"They defeated both Utena and Torokann..." Delita stammered. "Miraz, Flite, get them!!!"

"As you wish, sir," Miraz said as he and Flite leaped into action. Flite drew out his Sky Render, and Miraz produced a strange-looking weapon. It was a ship's anchor attached to a metal handle.

"What is that?" Mustadio asked.

"It's an Anchor Axe," the young admiral said. "I made it myself."

"I have no wish to battle you," Flite said to Ramza and his friend. "But the king's word is law. En guarde!"

"You still follow Delita after every slimy trick he's pulled?" Agrias asked, folding her arms. "Have you no thoughts of your own, Roderick?"

"It is a soldier's duty to follow orders," Flite said. "VOID SWORD!!!"

Flite slashed the entire party- all 15 of them- with his windy attack. Everyone fell over, wincing in pain.

"Think about it!" Ramza said as he tried to stand up. "First Delita claims that Ovelia loved me, and then he claims that I killed her! The two accusations are inconsistent! Wake up, Flite! Delita's deceiving you!"

"We trust the king!" Miraz said, knocking Ramza down with the flat of his axe. "He would never lie to us!"

"Really?..." Cloud asked as he stood up and confronted the two military men.

"If you had proof the king was lying, it would be different," Flite said. "Until then... DIVINE WIND!!!"

Flite swung his sword, and a deafening hurricane blew the entire group down. They didn't get up again. Ramza raised his head and coughed up some blood as he looked up at Delita. Delita's face was as stony as the statues they had seen outside the city. "Delita... Why?..." Ramza asked before he passed out.

"Let us take the Chinese Zodiac Stones," Delita said. Flite and Miraz followed him to Ramza's unconscious form. "With these, we can revive my sister and take over this country."

Just as Delita was about to reach down and snatch the stones, he was knocked backwards into a wall by some unknown force. "What the hell?!" he asked angrily.

Flite and Miraz looked down to see the Taurus Stone glittering brightly on the ground. "It's the power of the Holy Stone..." Flite said. "It's protecting Beoulve... But why would the Holy Stones protect a heretic?..."

"Never mind," Delita said. "We'll finish them another day. Flite! Miraz! Fall back!"

The three battlers vanished, leaving 15 unconscious beings lying in the center of the ruined Colosseum.

"Mel... Are you OK?..." Cinna wheezed.

"(Cough)... No..." Meliadoul gargled.

As Delita and his soldiers walked off, one thought ran through Ramza's mind...

"(Teta... You're doing this... for Teta?...)"


	28. Ramza Beoulve's Day Off

**CHAPTER 28**

**RAMZA BEOULVE'S DAY OFF**

"Grrrgh..." Ramza groaned as he sat up. A hand pushed him back down onto the bed he was on.

"Hey, take it easy, boss. You got pounded pretty bad."

"(I know that voice...)" Ramza said, opening his eyes. He was both surprised and glad to see Rad standing over him. "...Rad?..." Ramza said. "What... what're you doing here?..."

"Let's just say the chain gang wasn't doing much for me," Rad chuckled. "We found you guys in the Colosseum, and you were all pretty beat up. Alicia, Lavian and I got you to the nearest inn. We've been casting cures on you for a while now."

"I'm glad you're all right," Ramza said as he sat up. "How's everyone else? How's Rafa?"

"Fortunately, you were in the worst shape," Rad explained. "Everyone else is doing fine."

"Good..." Ramza said as he got back on his feet. He took a few moments to regain his balance, and then he walked out of the room with Rad. He walked into the lobby of the inn, where he was greeted by all his friends.

"Ramza, you're OK!" Alma cheered.

"I knew he'd be all right," Mustadio chuckled.

"Did anyone see what happened?" Ramza asked.

"All I know is that Delita didn't get the stones," Cinna said. "And you ought to thank Rad and the girls. They got rid of another Mechannite for you."

"Thanks, guys," Agrias said to her trusty apprentices.

"Our pleasure, Captain Agrias!" Alicia and Lavian said at the same time.

"So what do we do now?" Rafa asked.

"According to Rad and the others, we're all still pretty beat up," Malak said. "Perhaps we should take a day off."

"Taking a break doesn't sound half bad," Cloud said.

"All right, we'll take a day off," Ramza said. "Cinna are there any attractions around here?"

"Lemme see," Cinna said. "Oh, yeah. First, there's the Goddess Springs, where you can soak and rest for as long as you need (for a nominal fee). Then there's the Colosseum, where you can watch gladiators and bullfights. Also, today they're having a swimsuit competition around 3:00. Then, finally, there's the nightly feasts in the village square."

"It sounds as if we have quite a selection of activities," Orlandu said.

"Still," Meliadoul cautioned. "We don't know the city very well. We should stay in a group."

"You have a point," Beowulf said. "C'mon, let's all go watch the gladiators!"

"But I want to take a bath..." Reis argued.

"We'll flip on it," Cinna said, pulling out a Gil. He flicked it up in the air. "Call it!" he said.

"Heads!" Reis called.

The coin fell down into Cinna's palm. "...Tails. Sorry, Reis," Cinna said.

"We can take a bath later," Malak said. "Let's go see some bloodletting!"

"When you put it that way, it's not very appealing..." Alma muttered.

* * *

"Wow, what a great Colosseum!" Mustadio exclaimed as he looked around the gigantic structure. "...I mean, when we aren't being attacked inside of it."

"Shut up," Agrias said. "I want to watch."

The group sat back and watched as lions bit a bunch of prisoners, and then the prisoners started biting the lions.

"What? What's with that?!" Cloud asked.

"I guess letting the prisoners bite the lions is the only way to make things fair in the ring," Meliadoul said.

"Oh, come on!" Beowulf yelled. "Let's see some BLOOD!"

"Gum! Candy! Stuffed gopher!" the snack vendor yelled as he walked past the group's seats.

"Stuffed gopher?" Rafa asked. "Hey, I'll try one of those."

"Who came up with these kind of snacks?" Agrias muttered as she reluctantly licked at her fried cheese curds.

"Don't complain," Alex said as he leaned down in-between Agrias and Mustadio from his seat. "At least you're not at the pod races. All they sell there are Bantha testicles."

"Alex, you know you're not supposed to talk to strangers!" Luna said crossly as she pulled him back into his seat.

"And now, it's time for... BATTLEBOTS!!!" the announcer yelled. A batch of robots were dropped onto the field and they began to attack each other.

"What? This isn't any good," Beowulf muttered. "They're machines! Where's the gore?!"

One of the robots smashed into another, and shrapnel spewed over the battlefield. Worker No.8 let out a bloodcurdling shriek and started crying on Beowulf's shoulder. Beowulf rolled his eyes.

"How's the gopher, Rafa?" Ramza asked.

"Ah do declare, this here gopher's a-makin' me slur mah vocaboolarry," Rafa slurred in a thick southern hick accent.

"Hoo boy," Alma sighed.

"Hey, looks like they're bringing out a real monster!" Meliadoul exclaimed as a Behemoth was let into the ring. It began to gore all the remaining robots and the gladiators that came out to fight it.

"Oh, this is awful!" Reis cried.

"How could they let that thing in here on purpose?!" Malak yelled.

* * *

"Hey, did you lock the entrance?" one guard asked the other outside the Colosseum's gate.

"...I thought you did," the other guard said.

"...Oh, well," the guards said and went back to smoking their cigarettes.

* * *

"That thing's gonna pulverize everyone!" Meliadoul yelled. "Somebody do something!"

"I have an idea," Beowulf said, grabbing Alma and waving her red-dress-covered body at the monster. "Hey, buddy! Toro! Toro!"

"Beowulf!!!" Alma yelled in protest.

"Not now, Alma, I'm busy!" Beowulf muttered. The Behemoth saw the red and started charging towards the stands where the group sat.

"Beowulf, how did you know that Behemoths hate red?" Rafa asked.

"They don't," Beowulf explained. "Cuars hate red, and Behemoths hate being mistaken for Cuars, so that's why he's charging."

"Quitwiththeexplainingandgetmeouttahere!!!" Alma yelled, prying herself from Beowulf's grasp and landing crossly back in her seat.

"Fine," Beowulf sniffed. "Time to calm him down by waving a blue shirt." He turned and grabbed Agrias and dangled her over the side.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT?!" Agrias yelled angrily.

The Behemoth just kept coming.

"...Or does green calm a Behemoth down?" Beowulf asked aloud. "Or was it maize? Darn it, I always forget this part..."

The beast slammed into the pillar below the stands, which caused a mini-earthquake that knocked Agrias into the ring. The beast reared up on his hind legs and gave Agrias a mighty whack with the flick of its tail. Agrias sailed out of the arena and crashed into the security tower. The startled guards began throwing mace bombs out of the windows. Everyone started screaming and falling over, trying to claw their eyes out.

"Why did the guards have mace anyway?!" Malak screamed as he tore at his head.

"Usually they just use it to rig fights!" Cinna yelped as he rolled around in the stands. "EYYYAAAAHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!"

* * *

"How are you doing, Ramza?" Alma asked Ramza (whose eyes were covered in a huge bandage) as they left the Colosseum.

"I can't complain," Ramza muttered. He motioned to the big sign on the wall that said NO COMPLAINING.

"Gee, where'd we get that gag?" Reis asked.

"Man, that rock wall was hard," Agrias groaned.

"Yeah, we kind of get that impression, considering you're 2D now," Cloud said.

"Ahhh, I can fix that," Meliadoul said. "Now don't get any ideas!"

Meliadoul grabbed Agrias by the neck and blew into her mouth. After a loud FWOOMP and other strange noises that can't be described in words, Agrias was back to her usual three-dimensional self.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled," Orlandu said. Then he looked around. "Hey, where's Malak?"

"He was here a minute ago," Alma noted. "Where did he go?"

"Ummm, I think that's him over there," Reis said, pointing at where a large group of people had gathered.

"What's happening?!" Rafa asked. The party ran through the crowd until they reached the center. Malak was lying on his side, and about six white, fuzzy critters with dingleboppers on their heads were smacking him with unopened beer bottles.

"Ow! OW! Hey, watch where you're aiming! OWWW!!!" Malak yelped.

"Hey, those are moogles!" Ramza exclaimed.

"Marinated moogles, ya mean," Cinna corrected. "They're blind drunk."

"C'mon, guysh!" one of the moogles was yelling. "Thish pinnyata'sh gotta crack sssshhhhumtime! KCCCHHHHUUUPO!!!"

"Yeaaaahhh!!!" the other moogles yelled (or belched) and went on whacking Malak.

"Somebody call the authorities!" Rafa cried. "Help! Drunk-but-cute animals think my brother's a piñata!"

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a troop of green-haired, blue-robed little pink guys walked in and started hitting the moogles with clubs. The moogles collapsed to the ground, giggling insanely and belching and vomiting and whatever else drunk people do when they've been beaten down.

"Who're they?" Meliadoul asked.

"The Lemming Cops," Cinna explained. "Fello City's finest."

The Lemming Cops dragged the knocked-out critters away. "Sorry 'bout the trouble, folks," the leader said as he followed his troops.

"Yep, they're super brave and super smart!" Cinna said.

"...But don't lemmings like jumping off cliffs?" Ramza asked.

Everyone looked up. The Lemming Cops and their prisoners had all fallen off the cliff on the far side of town.

"Oh, well," Mustadio said, shrugging. "Hey, let's go bathe!"

* * *

"Ahhh, this is great!" Agrias sighed contentedly as she sank into the warm jacuzzi at the Goddess Springs.

"Nothing like a hot bath to knock the dirt out of your pores," Alicia agreed.

"Yeah..." Lavian sighed, leaning back and closing her eyes.

"I'm just glad these springs have dividing lines," Meliadoul muttered. "I wouldn't want any of the guys seeing me... "

"Yeah, I can see why," Reis chuckled. "You're gonna be a virgin for a loooong time."

"SHUT UP!" Meliadoul yelled angrily.

"Oooh, the bubbles tickle my feet..." Rafa giggled.

"...This place shouldn't have bubbles," Agrias said as she sat up. "The sign outside specifically said 'NO BUBBLES.'"

"But what makes bubbles in water if none of us have our faces under it and there's no machine?" Reis asked. Suddenly, everyone's eyes got wide and they all started screaming. They leaped out of the water and started pointing at each other.

"It was YOU, wasn't it?!" Meliadoul yelled at Alicia and Lavian.

"Not us, Meliadoul! Right?" Lavian objected.

"Right! I thought it was Reis," Alicia said.

"Well, I thought it was Agrias," Reis grumbled.

"I thought it was Alma," Agrias growled.

"Me? What about Rafa? I bet it was her!" Alma shouted.

"I thought it was a machine! Seriously!" Rafa protested.

"(This is so much fun,)" the Invisible Man thought to himself as he sat back and enjoyed the spring and the sight of nude women yelling at each other. "(Still, I wish I hadn't had those refried beans for lunch... Urrgh.)"

* * *

"They sure are making a lot of noise over there," Mustadio remarked.

"Ahh, forget about 'em and enjoy the water," Cloud said as he sat back and looked up at the ceiling.

"I haven't felt this relaxed in ages!" Orlandu sighed as his aged form took in the wonderful feeling of the water.

"This is what Fello City's famous for," Cinna said. "This joint rocks!"

"It is pleasing," Worker No.8 said as he sat in the water.

"Wait a minute," Malak said. "What're you doing here?!"

"Aren't you going to rust?" Ramza asked.

"Relax," Mustadio said, waving his hand and flicking water in a few directions. "I coated him with a protective sealant that prevents rusting."

"How about his motor shocking the water?" Rad asked. "Didja think of that?"

"Well, ummm..." Mustadio started to say. Suddenly, everyone had 10,000 volts running through them.

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!" the boys yelled as they were launched out of the water.

"Worker No.8, get outta here!" Beowulf yelled angrily.

"All right," Worker No.8 said as he stood up and walked out of the room, zapping some of them on his way out.

"Whoo... Now we can relax again," Orlandu said as he sank back into the water.

The rest of the guys slid back in and gave a group sigh.

"This water's real nice," Malak said. "Nice and warm."

"Yeah, and what's cool is how it's totally blue, without the help of any unnatural dyes or anything," Ramza said.

Suddenly, the blue water turned green. "...Now what makes blue water turn green?" Rad asked aloud.

Nobody answered, but Mustadio's face went bright red.

Suddenly, Ramza's ears perked up. On the other side, Rafa's ears perked up as well. "Did you hear something?" they both asked simultaneously.

"No..." Cinna said slowly.

"What was it?" Alma asked.

"Sounded kind of like two wet, heavy things hitting a wood floor," Ramza said.

"Sounded like two octopus in a deathmatch," Rafa said.

"We didn't hear anything," Orlandu said.

"We didn't hear anything," Agrias said.

"Well, I'll go check it out," Ramza and Rafa said at the same time. They got up and walked towards the sound, each unaware of the other's presence.

They walked into the locker rooms (keep in mind that they didn't have time to put any clothes on) and listened again. The sound was closer now. Finally, they reached the co-ed shower room, where the two locker rooms merged. They looked down and gasped. Taichi Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi were sprawled out on the wet floor, totally bare and making love.

"Oh, geez," Ramza hissed, reeling backwards.

"Ewwww!!!" Rafa yelled.

"Ummm... We're still trying to DNA-Digivolve!" Tai said quickly, and went back to feeling around in Sora's mouth with his tongue.

"You were trying to do that in MY sequel, too," Zidane grumbled.

"It takes lots of practice!" Sora argued.

"Just a reminder, folks," Zidane said, facing the reader. "Don't forget to read Final Fantasy 9.5! I have a jingle about it to perform to you on my harmonica, here-"

"Hey, get outta here," Ramza yelled. "You guys are disgusting!"

"At least it isn't Sora and Yamato Ishida," Rafa sighed. "Bleecccchhh!!!"

Zidane's tail went between his legs and he waddled out.

That's when Ramza and Rafa realized that they weren't alone. "...Rafa, that's you, right?" Ramza asked, his cheeks flaring up in a strong blush, but his eyes not moving from Tai and Sora (even though he desperately wanted to take his eyes off the gruesome spectacle).

"Yeah..." Rafa said, doing the same.

"...I'm just going to walk backwards until we reach the dividing wall again, and we won't mention this to the others, OK?"

"A-all right," Rafa gasped, starting to walk backwards and closing her eyes. After thirty seconds, they were back in their respective springs.

"What was it?" Cloud asked.

"What did you see, Rafa?" Meliadoul asked.

"It was just the janitor," Rafa and Ramza said at the same time.

* * *

"That was refreshing," Beowulf said as the group walked out of the springs.

"I could have sat in there all day," Alma sighed.

"Hey, look at this!" Reis said as she looked at a bulletin board near the spring. "'Starting at 3:00, it's the Fello City annual ladies' swimsuit competition! The sexiest siren wins a grand prize of 6,000 Gil!'"

"That sounds neat," Alicia said.

"Better than most propositions, anyway," Lavian agreed.

"Echh," Agrias huffed, sticking her tongue out. "Swimsuit competitions are vile and they make women look like mindless sex toys."

"Gee," Mustadio said, an impish grin appearing on his face. "Sounds like you're afraid to compete... Maybe you're afraid you'll lose."

"WHAT?!" Agrias roared, turning on the engineer. "Why you little!- I could beat those bimbos blindfolded! Just you watch!" Agrias grabbed an application from the bulletin board and started filling it in.

"(Gets 'em every time,)" Mustadio whispered to Ramza. He chuckled lightly.

"That sounds like fun," Rafa said. "Let's both enter, Agrias."

"Why don't you sign up, Mel?" Cinna asked.

"You lousy pervert," Meliadoul growled. "I'd never humiliate myself by going up and exposing my body to perfect strangers! Besides..." she licked her finger and held it up. "...It's too windy. I'll catch cold."

* * *

So Rafa and Agrias entered the swimsuit competition. The rest of the group sat in the stands at the local ampitheater and watched.

"Welcome to the 2nd Annual Fello City Swimsuit Competition!" the announcer said. "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from other competitions such as the Ms. Useless Pageant and the Ms. Useless Christmas Pageant."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Malak said, waving his hand. "Everyone's been somewhere else before."

The competition started, and several pretty girls walked out on stage and strutted their stuff. There was a lot of applause and whistling (all from the men). The judges silently sat in front, scribbling down notes on certain contestants.

"All right, folks," the announcer said. "Now for contestant 37. She's a bodyguard from Ivalice with a strong sense of justice and even stronger abs. Say hello to Agrias!"

Agrias stepped out onto the stage and cheers rocked the stadium. "Goodness," Ramza said, his face getting red. "With all the armor she wears, you'd never think..."

"She's so... So..." Cloud said, making gestures with his hands and trying to find an appropriate word.

"Are those real?!" Mustadio asked. "...Wow!"

Agrias wore a sparkling, sapphire-blue one-piece swimsuit that glittered in the afternoon light, looked like it was made of a very soft and shiny material and would make even the most chaste man consider impurity. She had a wry smile on her face, and she remained cool and confident-looking until the judges had finished recording. She walked off the stage and started grumbling. "I'm never doing that again," she growled as she passed Rafa. Rafa just chuckled.

"Okay now, folks," the announcer said. "Contestant 38 is a member of the elite assassin group Ryomoku, also from Ivalice. She really can make a point with her strong rod and Heaven Skill attacks... Say hello to Rafa!"

Rafa walked out on stage, and folks began to cheer and whistle as strongly as when Agrias had been out on stage. She wore a two-piece, ruby-red swimsuit that seemed to be made from the same stuff as Agrias's had been.

"Man, she sure is cute," Rad remarked.

"She's great to have around," Beowulf said. "I mean, she's not only cheerful, but look at that!..."

Reis elbowed Beowulf.

Ramza just smiled at her. She found him in the crowd and smiled back. Then she walked off stage.

After the other contestants had gone, the judges went up and whispered their decision to the announcer. "All right, friends," the announcer said. "Our judges have announced a first-place and a second-place winner! And the first place winner is..."

* * *

"Arrrgh!" Agrias growled as she kicked a rock down the street. "I go out there and expose myself and for what?!"

"It's all right, Agrias," Alma said, patting the knight on the shoulder. "Second place is good!"

In her hands Agrias crossly grasped a silver cup with a large #2 and her name engraved on it.

"Really, I thought you were the best up there," Cloud said. "Honestly. You reminded me of one of my friends."

"It's OK, Agrias," Rafa said. "We did our best, and you got a very high ranking. Good job!"

"Oh, you should talk," Agrias grumbled at Rafa, who held a golden trophy that was engraved with a large #1 and her name. Rafa giggled embarrassedly.

"No hard feelings, right?" Rafa asked.

"Nahhh," Agrias said, waving her hand. "I'm just glad I beat that Brittany Lance or whatever her name was."

"Enough talk," Mustadio said. "Let's go eat!"

The huge feast that night took up a whole city block. There were literally several cubic feet of food, all fit for consumption. People ate and ate and ate until they could eat no more.

That's when they went to the vomitorium to make room for more food.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you're actually going to do this scene," the network censor said apprehensively. "...At least be courteous."

"Mmm-mmm! That was great, wasn't it, Rafa?" Malak asked his sister.

"Yeah," Rafa said. "I'm so hungry I could throw up twice!"

"Good idea!" Malak said. They leaned over the troughs and puked.

"Breath mints! Get your breath mints!" a vendor yelled as he walked through the facilities.

"So, did you see the dress that Reis was wearing?" Meliadoul asked Alma.

"BLAAAAGGGHHHH!!!" Alma yelled as she ralphed into her trough.

Meliadoul scratched her head. "Gee, you thought it was that bad?"

"No," Alma said, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "The ham's that good! I'm goin' back for thirds!"

"This is getting a little out of hand," the network censor said. "We can't allow this kind of lowbrow humor." Suddenly, she heard the sound of about 20 people vomiting at once and she grabbed her stomach. "...Excuse me," she said, running from her desk. "BLAAAARRRRRGHHH!!!"

"Err, Ramza..." Rad said as he walked up and whispered something in Ramza's ear.

"No, Rad," Ramza said. "This is the vomitorium. The bathroom's next door."

"Ah. I see," Rad said. "BLAAAAAAUUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!"

"Euch. Watch the sandals next time, would you, kid?" Ramza grumbled. "I'm not wearing socks."

"You ate a lot, huh?" a vendor inside the vomitorium asked Orlandu.

"Ohh, I'm stuffed," Orlandu answered, clutching his belly.

"Then try this!" the vendor said, pulling out a feather. "Specially crafted for just such an occasion! Just a touch and a little wiggle, and the food goes down and up and back down again oh so much easier!"

"I'll take two," Orlandu said, pulling out his wallet.

"One..." Alicia said.

"Two..." Lavian said.

"THREE!!!" they yelled at the same time. They both grabbed huge wads of fruit and stuffed them down their throats, and then ran into the vomitorium.

"One..." Lavian said.

"Two..." Alicia said.

"THREE!!!" they yelled at the same time. "BLLEEEEAAAAAAACHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"All right, that's enough!" the censor yelled as she stomped into the vomitorium. "This has gone too far! I'm shutting the sketch down right now!" She stomped her foot on the floor and it began to slide around in something. "Woooooaaaaaahhhh!!!" she yelled as she slid across the room and crashed into a trough. She fell on her rear end and looked up at everyone.

"...Need a breath mint?" a vendor asked.

"BLUUURRRRRRRBBBBBB!!!" the censor responded.

"Woah, dude," Cinna said. "I didn't know there was roast pork tonight!"

* * *

"Ahh, that was refreshing," Alma sighed as she flopped back on her luxury bed. Thanks to the money Rafa had won in the swimsuit competition, the whole party had been able to afford a room with the right number of beds at the local inn. "I'm gonna sleep for days!"

"Don't get too lazy," Ramza said as he peeled off his sandals (he had bought them at the beginning of the day). "We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. We have to find the last Mechannite and the temple."

"Good night, guys," Reis said as she shut her eyes. "I'm bushed."

Everyone said their good nights and turned in. In about five minutes, everyone was asleep.

* * *

Around 1:00 in the morning, Mustadio was awakened by a sweet melody. He sat up in bed and listened. No one else was awake, so he thought he might have been dreaming. Just then, he noticed that the usual sound of Agrias's snoring was absent. He turned to his left and noticed that Agrias's bed was empty. That's when he heard the melody again.

"(...That sounds like a harp...)" he thought. He put on some slippers and left the room.

"(I remember seeing one down in the lobby of the inn,)" he thought to himself as he silently crept down the stairs towards the entrance. He heard the tune again. No doubt about it; it was the sweet, gentle melody of a harp.

Mustadio walked into the lobby and looked around. A single light was on, near the back. There, sitting on a bench, dressed in her white, cotton nightgown and playing the harp was Agrias. Her fingers slid across the instrument like it was a part of her, and the most beautiful music emanated from its chords.

Mustadio couldn't move. He just stood there, watching the bodyguard play her soulful melodies. Finally, she took notice of him and stopped playing. "Oh..." she said. "Did I wake you up, Mustadio?"

"If you did, it was a nice wake-up call," Mustadio said. "I didn't know you played the harp."

"It's my favorite pastime," Agrias said. "I joined Ovelia's bodyguards and I needed something to pass the time; I've played the harp ever since. Ovelia always said I played well, too..."

"I think you play wonderfully," Mustadio said.

"Thank you, But that's beside the point," Agrias said, looking at him with a face of raw anger. "How DARE you come down and bother me when I'm in my nightgown! HYAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Wha?!" Mustadio gulped as Agrias grabbed him by the shoulders and body-slammed him into the wall. She held him in place there, her teeth gnashing and her eyes narrowing.

"Well, it's just that-" Mustadio started to say. If the attack had surprised him, what came next was three times as much of a shock. Agrias lurched forward and massaged his left cheek with her tongue.

"...Heh?!" Mustadio gulped as he turned red. Agrias didn't stop there. Still keeping him in a tight grip, she pressed her face to his in a passionate lip locking that lasted for a good twelve seconds. While he was in this predicament, Mustadio noticed that Agrias carried a faint scent of raspberries. Finally, Agrias broke both the kiss and the hold, and Mustadio went crashing to the floor.

"What was that for?!" Mustadio asked, standing up and looking at her.

Agrias's half-glare turned into a teary smile. "You're the best pal I've ever had, Mustadio," Agrias said. "You've always been there to support me or trade barbs, and you're almost as stubborn and anal as me. That's why... I... I...I l...l...lo..."

Mustadio's surprised look melted into a compassionate smile. He caressed her cheek with his hand. "You don't need to say any more, Agrias," he said. "I feel the same way."

"Aww, Musty..." Agrias said, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing happily. "This is the happiest day of my life..."

"(GURK) Agrias, you're choking me! (GRAAGH!!!)" Mustadio gurgled.

"Oh, shut up, you big baby," Agrias retorted as she smiled happily and squeezed even harder.


	29. Rafa's Battle

**CHAPTER 29**

**RAFA'S BATTLE**

"Suit up, everyone!" Ramza said as he dressed himself in the morning. "We're heading out! Mustadio, get out of bed!"

"Unghhh... Guhhh?" Mustadio asked as he wearily opened his eyes and saw Ramza looking down at him.

"We're heading out," Ramza said again. "Hurry and get dressed."

"Okay..." Mustadio muttered, reaching down to the floor, grabbing his shirt and jamming it on.

"You sound well-rested," Ramza said. "How'd last night go for you?"

"Ummm..." Mustadio started to say.

"Pretty well, I'd say," Agrias said as she slid out from under Mustadio's sheets.

"Gyargh! Errr..." Ramza started to say, his face getting red. "...Oh, dear."

"What's wrong, Ramza? Did you-" Cloud asked as he walked over. He then shot a glance at Mustadio's bed and did a double take. "HOLY- Auuugh. Put some pants on, you two! Sheesh, yer makin' me sick."

"I talked with some of the locals at the feast last night," Cinna said. "They say they've heard there's a temple in the crater about 5 kilometers from town."

"Well, we'd better go there," Meliadoul said. "It sounds like a likely spot."

* * *

"Well, here we are, men," Delita said as his battalion of Ivalice troops arrived at the base of Phantom Crater and stood in front of a large, stone structure. "Here it is- the Phantom Waterfall Temple!"

"What do we do now, sir?" one soldier asked.

"We shall take positions at various spots on the terrain and attack Ramza and his friends when they come," Delita said. "Stay hidden and use the camouflage gear provided."

"Sir, may I have a word with you in private?" Admiral Miraz asked Delita.

Delita looked around. Captain Flite had his back turned. "All right," Delita said. "Over there, in the carriage. Go and hide yourselves, men!"

As Delita's troops scattered to conceal themselves, Miraz and Delita entered the red royal carriage that had once belonged to Queen Ovelia. "What is it, Admiral?" Delita asked.

"Sir," Miraz said, kneeling on the floor. "You know that my loyalty to the country of Ivalice is absolute."

"Yes," Delita said. "That's why you became an Admiral at such a young age, my boy. Continue."

"You also know that my loyalty to Queen Ovelia was totally unwavering," Miraz continued.

"Yes..." Delita said. "Get to the point, Miraz."

"When I saw the Holy Stone glow and protect Ramza Beoulve, whom the church has proclaimed a heretic, I wondered if there was more to this than I had been told..." Miraz said.

"What do you mean?" Delita asked, his left eyebrow raising. His left hand fingered the dagger in the hilt on his side (the same dagger that he had killed Ovelia with, mind you).

"I have often heard Count Orlandu's son, Olan, tell stories of how you achieved power while Ramza was battling the Lucavi," Miraz kept talking. "...And Ramza has denied killing the Queen countless times. Though I trust you, the story you tell is a bit contradicting."

"Yes?..." Delita said, his teeth clenched together and his hand on the knife.

"King Delita, Queen Ovelia and you found me in the slums and raised me almost like a son. I hope you'll be truthful to me, as I have always been to you," Miraz said.

"Don't stall like this," Delita snapped. "Talk."

"I want to know," Miraz said, standing up and facing the king. "Did Ramza Beoulve REALLY kill Queen Ovelia?"

"Well, uh..." Delita started to say. Miraz's gaze narrowed. Delita found Miraz's eyes dreadfully unpleasant. Those eyes stared right into Delita's very soul, and even though he knew Miraz didn't know the truth, he felt as if Miraz could feel all the lies Delita had told and see the blood on his hands from everyone he'd murdered. "(Those eyes bother me,)" Delita thought to himself. "(I guess there's no use denying it to him...)"

Delita took a deep breath and stood up to face Miraz in the eye. Since they were of equal height, this was an easy task. "No, Miraz," Delita said. "Ramza did not kill the Queen."

"But then, who did kill her?" Miraz asked.

Delita's lips curled into an inhuman sneer and he laughed through his nose. "Hmmm hmm hmmm. It was me," he chortled.

"What?! You?!" Miraz gasped, stepping backwards.

"Yes..." Delita said, almost towering over Miraz like a badger looking down upon a worm. "I did it. And would you like to know how?..."

Miraz stood silently, his stony gaze turning to an angry and worried one.

"Just... like... THIS!" Delita yelled. As quick as a flash, his dagger flew out and embedded itself in Miraz's stomach. Miraz didn't have time to cry out. He slumped over into the carriage's seat.

Just before he died, he heard Delita whisper into his ear "I'll tell Captain Flite it was an accident..."

Then all went black.

Delita stomped outside and shoved the whole carriage off a nearby cliff. The carriage crashed down the mountainside until it reached the bottom and smashed to pieces. Delita stood up and yelled. "Oh, no!!!"

"What is it, sir?" Captain Flite shouted as he ran up to Delita.

Delita looked at Flite with sorrow in his eyes. "Admiral Miraz was in the carriage when the ledge it was on gave way and it fell off the cliff!!!" he yelled. "Oh, he was one of my best men! How will we ever replace him?..."

* * *

"Davis, could you take us to Phantom Crater?" Cinna asked the old pilot when the group arrived back at the airship.

"Well, all right," Davis said. "Get on in."

"Up you go, Worker No.8!" Alma said as she and Rad shoved the robot on. Then everyone else got onto the ship and it flew onwards.

* * *

After about two hours, Davis set the airship down. "This is the last stable landing spot before the crater," Davis explained. "The terrain's too rocky to land anywhere closer."

"Thanks, Davis," Ramza said. "We'll take it from here. Thanks for everything."

"Good luck, you guys," Davis said. "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for up there."

Ramza and the group disembarked from the airship and started walking towards the massive crater that was almost like another mountain.

"Man, this terrain's tricky," Malak said as he picked his way over rocks and potholes.

"It's wreaking havoc on my old bones," Orlandu groaned as he stumbled a few times and then managed to regain his balance.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Agrias asked as she stomped forward. "Feels as even as a gravel road to me."

"Agrias, wait up!!!" Mustadio called from the back. He ran and fell down a few times and then ran some more to catch up to her.

"Sheesh," Agrias snorted. "If you'd exercise more, you'd be able to handle this stuff better, geek."

"I'll exercise when I want to exercise!" Mustadio retorted. "HMMMPH!"

"What's with them?" Beowulf asked. "I thought once they slept together they'd be nicer to one another."

"Ahhh, they're in training to be an old married couple," Cinna chuckled. "They're pretty good, too!"

"Rafa, try to keep up with us," Reis called back to Rafa, who was slowly picking her way over the rocks.

"Oh, all right," Rafa said, breaking into a sprint across the ragged turf.

"Wait, Rafa, you're going too fast!" Meliadoul called. "Watch out for that hole!"

Rafa's right foot landed with about seven eighths of it hanging over the hole. Her weight caused her to tumble in and land on her foot. A loud CRUNCH was heard- the crunch that one hears when one pops a bunch of air pockets on a bubble wrap sheet at once- and Rafa wailed in agony.

"OWWWWW!!!" she cried. "It hurts! IT HURTS!!!"

"Rafa!!!" Malak and Ramza shouted at the same time. They ran over to her and helped her up. Ramza supported her on one side and Malak supported her on the other.

"Are you all right?" Malak asked.

"I... I think so..." Rafa said, trying to take a step with her foot. When she put it down on the ground, her foot slid to the side of the rest of her leg and she yelped like an upset puppy.

"Don't use that foot!" Ramza instructed. Rafa nodded. Ramza took a handkerchief and dried her tear-stained eyes. "Rad, get over here!"

"This is bad..." Rad (who had mastered his Chemist job) said as he felt the foot. "Looks like you've really pulled your leg muscles to the limit. If you try to walk any more, they may snap and break. You'll be out of commission until we have time to cast a Cure 4 spell on you. Until then, Worker No.8 will carry you."

"I'm sorry, Ramza..." Rafa said as Worker No.8 gathered her up in his metal arms. "I ran to save time, not slow us down..."

"It's all right," Ramza said. "You just worry about getting better. Worker No.8, take care of her."

"As you wish, master," Worker No.8 beeped as he began walking forwards with the other party members.

"Don't worry, you'll feel better in no time!" Alicia said as she and Lavian walked alongside Worker No.8.

"We'll keep you company until then," Lavian added.

"Thanks, guys," Rafa said. "By the way, why'd you decide to escape that chain gang?"

"Ahh, that desert was awful," Lavian said. "Do you know how brittle your pores get when you're out in the sun for sixteen hours a day?"

"Plus we weren't that good," Alicia said. "I kept hitting the foreman with my pickax."

"Are you sure that wasn't intentional?" Lavian asked.

Rafa giggled as she listened to Alicia and Lavian tell their stories of singing into cans and battling while chained up and metal-melting firecrackers. Finally, she yawned and decided to take a nap.

"How far up to the crater do you think it is?" Ramza asked Cinna.

"Won't be long now, dude," Cinna said. "About ten more minutes at most."

"Too bad you won't live that long."

Everyone stopped and looked around. The late-afternoon sky had grown astonishingly dark, and the voice seemed to have come from many places. "Who's there?!" Agrias yelled. "Show yourself!"

"The boss'll show himself when he's ready," a girl's voice said.

"Yeah, don't rush him, or he'll be REALLY mad," another girl's voice said.

"Those voices are familiar..." Mustadio growled. "I know I've heard them before..."

"I remember hearing them when Ramza, Mustadio, Rafa, Agrias and I were in Limberry Castle..." Orlandu said.

"I guess wisdom really does come with age," the first girl's voice said. "I guess we should show ourselves now."

Two devastatingly beautiful girls stepped out of the darkness. The first one wore all black dancing clothes and had two scimitars attached to her belt. The second was dressed all in pink dancing clothes and had two sets of nunchukus in her hands. "Did you miss us, boys?" they said at the same time.

"Celia and Lede," Ramza growled. "Elmdor's Assassins!"

"I take it you've met these lovely ladies before?" Cinna asked.

"Lovely, yes; ladies, no," Reis said. "They're vicious."

"That's not a pleasant thing to say. Well, Ramza, I guess you never forget a face," Lede giggled as she winked at Ramza. "You haven't changed a bit, cutie pie."

"We weren't workin' for Elmdor," Celia objected. "We were workin' for Ajora. That's why we're protectin' the last Mechannite now."

"But we killed you!" Orlandu protested. "You became Ultima Demons and we destroyed you! I picked up Lede's treasure box last time! I still have the Echo Grass that was in it!"

"Pshht," Celia said, waving her hand. "You really thought two voluptuous vixens like us were demons? Think again. That was just a cheap trick we pulled to ensure a smooth getaway. Ajora wouldn't want to loose us on such an easy mission."

"Besides," Lede said. "We didn't wanna die. You guys are too much fun to bug. That's why we thought it would be cool for us to be waiting for you along with the last Mechannite."

"The last Mechannite, huh?" Agrias growled. "Well, Bring 'im on!"

"But of course, Captain Agrias," the dark voice that had spoken before said. Suddenly, a biped, four-winged, mechanical red dragon stepped out between Celia and Lede.

"Who are you?" Cloud asked.

"I am Draco," Draco said. "I am the leader of the 12 Mechannites that guard the Phantom Waterfall Temple for Ajora until he returns. You have all done well to defeat my eleven counterparts, but now you face me. Your pilgrimage ends here."

"Hold on," Ramza said. "Ajora created you? How did he do that? He was just a human being with a lust for power that was able to somehow control the Lucavi. How'd he get hold of twelve robots as well?"

"Ajora had a crafty engineer working for him," Draco said. "An man named Germonik. That turncoat built us to be loyal to Ajora, and we stayed as such when Germonik fled. Ajora sent us here to guard the temple he built for casting his black magic."

"Germonik built you?!" Meliadoul cried. "History keeps getting weirder and weirder!"

"Enough talk," Draco said. "Time is short, and Ajora will rise again within the next cycle of the sun. It's time for us to destroy you. Celia, Lede, get them!"

Celia and Lede jumped in front of Draco and bared their weapons. "If you defeat them, I'll await your challenge," Draco said, fading into the darkness again. "Don't disappoint me."

"Just you and us, Ramza!" Celia shouted.

"We like a man who's flexible," Lede giggled.

"Fine," Ramza said.

"Be careful, Ramza," Agrias said. "No telling what they have up their sleeves."

"I'm hurt," Celia said. "You think we're cheaters?"

"Take a long look," Lede said. "We have nothing to hide."

"THAT'S for sure," Cloud chuckled as he looked at their clothing again.

"HYAAAAHHHH!!!" Celia yelled as she charged at Ramza from the right.

"HAIIIIYEEEE!!!" Lede cried as she flew in from the left.

"Hup!" Ramza shouted as he leaped upwards and Celia and Lede charged towards each other. A split-second before they collided, they leaped upwards and attacked Ramza.

"Taste cold steel!" Celia shouted as she diced at him with her scimitars.

"Eat this!" Lede yelled as her nunchukus smacked him in the chest and legs.

Ramza fell back down to the ground and rolled out of the way as more attacks came. He rolled under Lede as she ran towards him, leapfrogged off of her back and landed in a fighting position.

"Nice..." Celia said. "You're stronger than before, Ramza."

"But Draco gave us some nice upgrades too," Lede said. "Get a load of THIS! STOP BRACELET BEAM!!!"

Lede fired an instant-death ray that would have taken Ramza out of he hadn't slipped on a rock and fallen.

"Ramza..." Rafa whispered as she watched the battle.

"C'mon, Ramza, let 'em have it!" Alma yelled.

"Jab! Thrust! Uppercut!" Malak yelled. "YEAH!!!"

"Oh, those poor girls," Cinna said. "Why don't they go get decent jobs?"

"You're just a big old softie, aren't you?" Meliadoul muttered.

"Energy Star!!!" Celia yelled as she magically generated wave after wave of throwing stars that knocked Ramza backwards until he fell down again.

"What a pity..." Lede said. "I was hoping for more."

"More?..." Ramza asked as he looked up at them. "All right..."

Celia and Lede raised their feet and were about to crush his skull when Ramza pulled out the Monkey Stone and disappeared.

"What?! Hey, where'd he go?!" Celia shouted.

"Awww, isn't that just like a guy to have fun with you and then vanish?" Lede said. Suddenly, Ramza appeared behind them and put them both in a head lock.

"(Sniff) Man, you two smell great!" Ramza said just before he banged their heads together. They slumped to the ground, beaten. "...Just like strawberries in the springtime," he concluded.

"Nice job, Ramza!" Agrias called.

"You da man!" Cinna yelled.

"Urrrgh..." Celia groaned as she sat up. "I've got such a migraine..."

"Maybe the old guy's right..." Lede groaned. "At any rate, a normal job would be less painful than fighting Ramza."

"You won this round, Ramza, but we'll meet again!" Celia said.

"See you later, sweetie!" Lede said, planting a kiss on Ramza's lips faster than lightning. "Relax, there's no poison!"

"Ja ne!" both girls shouted at the same time and then threw down smoke bombs. When the smoke had cleared, they were gone.

Ramza checked his lips; there really wasn't any poison. He blushed for a moment, but then shook it off.

"Excellent..." Draco said as he reappeared. This time, candelabras with blue and purple-flamed candles and a circle with a picture of a dragon appeared with him. "I see why the others fell before you. But your time of reckoning is at hand! You shall regret ever having defied Ajora!"

"Ramza, we're coming to help!" Agrias yelled. She was suddenly stopped by a huge wall of fire that blocked off the battlefield where Draco and Ramza stood.

"I shall deal with your friends later," Draco said as he flapped his wings and began to hover in the air. "Drachen Fire."

Draco blew a huge blaze from his mouth that knocked Ramza backwards against the fire wall, which burned him and knocked him forwards again. Ramza dragged himself up and readied his sword.

"Accumulate!" Ramza yelled, charging his weapon with his own energy. He then ran up and slashed Draco across the face. The dragon fluttered backwards a few paces, but he didn't take a lot of damage.

"Metal Claw," Draco said, taking his claw and slashing Ramza across the chest, destroying his armor in the process. Ramza staggered backwards, but was able to stay upright.

"Yell!" Ramza called, yelling and increasing his agility. He ran forward faster now and slashed at Draco's wings. This caused Draco to waver and lose altitude for a few moments, but ultimately it was a weak hit.

"Tail Slash," Draco said, his scaly tail knocking Ramza back into the fire wall and scorching him again. Ramza managed to get up and face the dastardly dragon once more.

"Scream!" Ramza yelled, screaming as loud as he could and filling himself with new energy. He took another swipe and managed to cut off Draco's tail. Black oil oozed out of the wound, which closed up quickly.

"You are indeed brave and admirable, Ramza Beoulve, but the day is mine," Draco growled. His chest opened to reveal a huge cannon. "Magma Beam."

A deadly wave of hot lava shot out of Draco and covered Ramza. It seared his skin and left horrible burn marks. He fell backwards, out cold. The fire wall receded.

"Ramza... No..." Rafa cried. She started to squirm in Worker No.8's hands. "Worker No.8, let me go!" she said.

"As you wish, master," Worker No.8 said as he let Rafa go. She landed on the ground and howled in pain.

"What did you do that for?!" Alicia scolded as she helped Rafa up.

"I've gotta save Ramza..." Rafa panted.

"She's talkin' crazy!" Cinna said. "She'll just get herself killed!"

"Don't do it, Rafa!" Malak protested. "I've already lost my parents... I don't wanna lose my sister."

"I don't want to lose the man I..." Rafa started to say, and then gasped in pain from the foot again.

"Rafa..." Lavian said. "...I understand. Here, use this."

Lavian pulled out the Rabbit Stone that Rad, Alicia and she had gotten when they had bested Astro Hare. "I don't know if it will help your foot, but it'll keep you safe."

"Thanks, guys," Rafa said as she took the stone. It glittered once, and Rafa was sealed in a set of golden armor. Her foot felt as good as new. "ALL RIGHT!" Rafa cried. "I'm coming, Ramza!!!"

Rafa raced past everyone else and confronted Draco. "Oh, another that wants to die young?" Draco asked.

"It's OK, Ramza," Agrias said as she dragged Ramza into a sitting position. "You're gonna be OK."

"Man, he's burned worse than moth in a candle!" Cinna remarked.

"Dragon Cure!" Reis called, healing Ramza and then fainting. Ramza looked up.

"...Rafa?... What're you doing?..." he asked quietly.

"Leave my friends alone!!!" Rafa yelled. "HEAVEN BOLT!!!"

Miraculously enough, all 5 blasts hit Draco dead on and actually damaged him.

"You are strong, but can you withstand this?" Draco asked. "Drachen Fire."

The flames didn't even singe Rafa's armor. "SKY DEMON!!!" Rafa called, the 7 blasts hitting Draco one after another with pinpoint precision.

"You are indeed powerful," Draco growled, signs of perspiration appearing on his brow. "But not even you can survive this. Magma Beam."

The fiery attack that had beaten Ramza went straight through Rafa, and the armor didn't even get burned.

"You're not going to take away the man I love!!!" Rafa shouted angrily as she grabbed her Octagon Rod and charged at Draco. "HYYAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

With a quick motion, Rafa thrust her rod straight through Draco's stomach. The robotic dragon floated there for a moment before looking down. "...So that's why Ramza is so strong..." Draco said. "...He has formidable friends. I admire your strength, Rafa. Farewell!"

Draco exploded, spewing shrapnel and other things every which way. The darkness faded and the late afternoon sun shone through again. The Dragon Stone sat in the palm of Rafa's hand.

"That's the Dragon Stone!" Cinna exclaimed. "That's the best stone of all. It allows the user to fire massive volleys of fire from his or her hand! You rock, Rafa!"

Everyone started congratulating Rafa. She just blushed and smiled. Just then, the armor faded away and Rafa landed on her butt. Her foot began to hurt again. Ramza walked over to her and knelt down in front of her.

"Rafa..." he said. "What you said in there... Did you mean that?..."

Rafa looked at Ramza with happy tears in her eyes and a smile on her face and threw her arms around his neck. She pressed her face into his left shoulder. "...Every word of it," she whispered.

Ramza put his arms around her as well and hugged her back. "I've loved you for a long time, too..." he said quietly. "Ever since that day I held you..."

"What?" Rafa asked.

"You don't remember?" Ramza asked. "I didn't think you would. You were only a few weeks old..."

_(Flashback)_

"Hurry up, Ramza," Balbanes Beoulve, Ramza's father, called as he motioned to his son. "We're here."

Ramza's heart raced with excitement. Balbanes was taking him on a trip to visit some friends in Pokte Village, a small town near Riovanes Castle. The people here had darker skin because there was a lot of sunlight and not much natural cover, but they were as nice as anyone else.

"Come along, Ramza," Balbanes said as he opened a door and walked in. "Ah, Ralfak! How nice to see you again!"

After Ramza had been introduced to Ralfak and his wife Malla, Balbanes said he could go and play with their son, Malak. "He should be in the nursery with his sister Rafa," Balbanes had said. "Just be quiet; Rafa's probably asleep."

Ramza walked into the nursery and looked around. The walls were painted blue and had clouds and birds on them, and many stuffed toys were littered about. A little boy of Ramza's age was sitting near a crib and reading a book.

"Hello," Ramza said. "Are you Malak?"

"Yeah, I'm Malak," Malak said as he got off the chair. "Who're you?"

"I'm Ramza," Ramza said. "My dad's a friend of your dad."

"Oh," Malak said. Suddenly, a baby began to cry. "Oh, no!" Malak exclaimed. "I must've woke up Rafa!"

Ramza followed Malak over to the crib, where Malak hoisted out a baby girl. She was sobbing loudly and kicking her legs this way and that. "I dunno what's wrong," Malak complained as he tried to calm her, but to no avail. "She acts like this a lot."

"Can I try?" Ramza asked. "I promise I'll be gentle."

"Well... OK," Malak said, handing the blubbering infant over to the toddler. Almost instantly, Rafa quieted and started gurgling happily. Ramza looked down and saw Rafa looking up at him with big, red eyes. Though he was only three, a blush crept over Ramza's face.

"Your sister's cute," Ramza said.

"Yeah," Malak agreed. "I... uh-oh."

"What?" Ramza asked.

"(SPLORCH)"

Both boys looked down to see that Rafa had just spit up on Ramza's shirt. "Well, at least she's not crying anymore," Ramza laughed. Malak laughed too.

Rafa yawned deeply and fell asleep in Ramza's arms. "Hmmm..." Ramza said as he slowly put Rafa back in her crib.

"Wow, I've NEVER seen anyone get Rafa quiet THAT fast!" Malak exclaimed after Ramza and he had left the room. "How'd you do it?"

"I dunno," Ramza answered. Just then, he heard his father calling for him. "Oh! I gotta go. Bye, Malak," he called as he ran towards Balbanes' voice.

_(End Flashback)_

"Awwwww," Mustadio chuckled. "They're soooo cute."

"Shut up," Agrias growled, smacking Mustadio across the head. "You're ruining it!"

"Swell, guys," Cinna said. "Just swell. May I bestow a tune upon you?" He grabbed his lute and began to play a romantic melody.

"Quit it, merry minstrel," Meliadoul said. "I hate to break this up, but we'd better hurry. You heard what Draco said. Ajora's gonna be up and about within a day!"

"Right," Ramza said, carrying Rafa back to Worker No.8 and putting her in his arms. "Lavian, start working on a Cure 4 for Rafa. When she's better, we're all headed for the crater and the temple. We must find it and stop Ajora from returning to this world!"

"Don't forget about Ovelia," Cloud piped up.

"Oh, yeah," Ramza said. "I forgot."


	30. Phantom Crater

**CHAPTER 30**

**PHANTOM CRATER**

"Well, here we are," Cinna said as he scaled the edge of the crater and pointed downwards. Twilight was fading, and darkness was beginning to creep over the land. A few stars shone faintly overhead. "...Phantom Crater, the resting place of the Phantom Waterfall Temple."

Everyone stood at the mouth of the crater, looking downwards into the huge, rocky expanse. An air of extreme solemnness hung in the air as they looked, their garments flapping mildly in the cold mountain breeze.

"We've come this far..." Rafa (whose leg was fully healed now) said.

"We've slain the 12 Mechannites and obtained the 12 Chinese Zodiac Stones..." Orlandu said.

"We've defeated countless other enemies..." Meliadoul added.

"...Been separated and rejoined..." Rad said.

"Escaped a chain gang," Lavian said.

"And we've sung into a can..." Alicia added.

"We're so close to our goal..." Agrias said. "It's a bit sad the journey will end soon."

"Especially since we have no place to go once it's over," Malak sighed as he hung his head.

"...Let's go find the temple," Alma said, looking up with resolve in her eyes. "Ovelia's waiting for us..."

"Yes, let's go," Ramza said, about to walk into the crater.

"Ramza," Cinna said as he put his hand on the adventurer's shoulder.

"Yeah, Cinna?" Ramza asked as he looked back at his new friend.

Cinna pulled out a soiled sheet of paper from beneath his garments. "This is a song I've been working on for a while now," he said. "I just completed it last night. If something should happen to me... please take it back to Cress in Nazdrubia. He'll know what to do with it."

"All right..." Ramza said as he accepted the paper and stuck it in his pocket. "Let's go, everyone."

* * *

The party began to pick their way down the rocky slope, completely unaware of the savage trap set for them by Delita.

"It took a good five minutes, but we got down to the base of the crater," Mustadio said.

"What're you talking about?" Agrias asked. "Through the miracle of writing, we got down here in the blink of an eye."

"Hmmm..." Orlandu hemmed and hawed as he looked around the crater suspiciously.

"Something wrong?" Meliadoul asked. "You're on edge."

"There's something wrong here..." Orlandu said, his eyes narrowing. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but..."

A long whine was heard from behind a bush nearby.

"What was that?!" Beowulf growled, drawing his sword.

"Awww, you blew it for us, Carl!" a soldier yelled as two of them emerged from the bushes.

"That teaches me to eat Mexican," Carl muttered.

"Isn't this obvious?" Reis said. "It's a trap!!!"

"SURPRISE!!!" all of Delita's troops shouted as they emerged from behind rocks and bushes and from under the dirt. Primitive tanks rolled over the hillside and trained their cannons on the adventurers. There were over 1,000 soldiers, with Captain Flite and Delita standing in front of them all.

"...Aw, crap," Cinna said.

"Well, Ramza..." Delita said, walking up to his old friend. "It appears our paths cross again."

"Delita, please stop this," Ramza said. "Why can't we just be friends, like old times?"

Delita peeled the glove off of his left hand and slapped Ramza across the face with it. Ramza was so surprised that he fell down. "Your life of crime ends here, Heretic Ramza," Delita said.

"Funny, I thought you had two soldier grunts," Malak said. "I see only one."

"Yes, where's Admiral Miraz?" Rafa asked.

"...Admiral Miraz was inside the king's carriage when the rocks it was on shattered and the carriage fell. It was dashed to pieces on the rocks below," Captain Flite said, hanging his head for a minute. "He was a fine soldier."

"An accident is forgivable," Delita said as he leered down at Ramza, who was still sitting on the ground with a red hand-shaped mark visible on his cheek. "Killing in cold blood is not."

"..." Ramza said as he stood up.

"...ATTACK!!!" Delita shrieked in an almost inhuman voice. Almost instantly, the sea of soldiers started moving downwards into the crater.

"Oh, crap!" Cinna growled.

"Get ready!" Orlandu yelled.

"If we're gonna die, let's take some of them with us!" Beowulf declared.

The party members threw themselves at the attacking soldiers and began to launch their own assault.

"HOLY EXPLOSION!!!" Orlandu and Agrias yelled at the same time as their sacred blasts sent troops flying left and right.

"SKY DEMON BACK!!!" Malak shouted as his devilish attack took out a few more soldiers.

"STORAGE SPACE!!!" Rafa shouted as her status-inducing spell confused some troops and made them whack one another.

"MBarrier!" Alma yelled as she hurried to cast the spell on each friend as quickly as possible.

"Enough with the kid stuff," Delita yelled. "Ready the tanks!!!"

The huge tanks rolled down the hill and began firing huge volleys of Fire Balls at the group. The explosions knocked the party left and right. Mustadio recovered first.

"So, you stepped up your artillery, huh?!" Mustadio shouted. "It still breaks easily enough! HYAH!"

Mustadio fired a powerful shot from his Blast Gun and one of the tanks exploded. However, The six other tanks continued towards the group with no intention of stopping.

"Take this!" Rad yelled as he buried his Slasher in a Lancer's armor.

"Head Break!!!" Alicia and Lavian shouted as they shattered a Knight's helmet.

"ICEWOLF BITE!!!" Meliadoul cried as the devastating attack ripped the Angel Ring off of a Monk.

"EXP4FLARE!!!" Cloud shouted, casting the mathematical spell. About half of the troops in the crater were knocked on their butts by devastating Flare attacks.

"Flite, kill Ramza!" Delita ordered.

"As you wish," Flite said, leaping at Ramza with Sky Render gleaming gallantly.

"Eeeeaaaaagh!" Ramza shouted as his Chaos Blade appeared and the two warriors began to clash.

"Somebody stop those tanks!!!" Mustadio yelled. "They're heading right for us!"

Suddenly, everyone heard a fierce ROAR. Everyone looked up as Davis's airship appeared over the mouth of the crater. It flew overhead, dropping bombs on the troops below. The tanks exploded, scattering shrapnel everywhere. Davis leaned out the window and gave a thumbs-up to the group before flying away again.

"Thank God for aviation," Agrias sighed.

"I told you it was a good thing!" Mustadio laughed.

"Stop, Flite!" Ramza shouted as he dodged and parried while Flite slashed away at him. "Delita's lying to you!"

"I will hear no one speak ill of the king!" Flite shouted. "AIR SLASH!!!"

The windy blast lifted Ramza up and sent him plummeting down into the dirt at Delita's feet. He slowly began to get up, but Delita stomped on his left hand. Ramza yelled in pain and lurched upwards into a sitting position.

"So ends your little insurrection," Delita said, leering down at Ramza. With one quick motion, he spat on Ramza's shirt and then kicked him backwards. Ramza lay flat on his back as Delita towered over him, his sword ready to bury itself in Ramza's chest.

"You're gonna kill another one, huh, Delita?!"

Everyone looked up and listened for where the voice had come from. Two gigantic searchlights that had been focused on Ramza and Delita now moved to shine on Olan and Balmafula , who were standing up at the top of the crater.

"You think murder is an injustice?" Olan yelled again. "Well, how do you explain THIS?!"

Balmafula threw a corpse down into the crater. It rolled past the stunned soldiers until it stopped at Delita's feet, face-up. It was the body of Admiral Miraz, with Delita's gold-hilted knife still embedded in its rotting stomach.

"My God!" Captain Flite exclaimed. "It cannot be!"

"That's just gross," Mustadio said, leaning over and losing his lunch.

"That's... Delita's knife..." Ramza panted.

"You killed your own Admiral?" Rafa asked. "What kind of a king are you?..."

Whispers began to spread through the troops, and then several volleys of disgusted faces. Delita stood erect, glaring up at Olan and Balmafula.

"Wasn't he one of your finest?" Balmafula yelled. "...And you killed him because he asked you one little question!"

"...SILENCE!!!" Delita yelled. "You lie, woman! Miraz must have... had the knife go through him as he fell. Who are you going to trust: those two prisoners and this band of heretics, or your king?"

"That's not the half of it!" Agrias said as she pushed past Delita and yanked the knife from Miraz's body. There was still a lot of blood on it, so she gave it to Worker No.8. He stuck it in his chest compartment and in a few seconds he had washed it off. Agrias pulled the knife back out and held it up. "Miraz's blood isn't the only one on this knife! See these stains? It's gone through someone else, too. Do you loyal soldiers know who this knife has been in besides your Admiral?!"

"BE QUIET!!!" Delita growled, suddenly forgetting about Ramza and walking towards Agrias. He stopped when he heard a clicking sound. He turned to see Mustadio and Worker No.8 standing on either side, their projectile weapons aimed right at him.

"Let her speak," Mustadio said slowly and plainly.

"Judging by the color of this blood, I'd say it sank into somebody a little more than a few months ago!" Agrias yelled. "Can you think of anyone who died mysteriously in the last few months?!"

The entire crater fell silent except for the howling of the wind.

"...You murdered Queen Ovelia?..." Flite asked the silent and glaring Delita. Flite's eyes narrowed into glowering slits. "You did, didn't you?" he whispered viciously.

Delita stayed silent, aware that if he said anything, Flite might kill him, and one movement would result in being blown to smithereens by Mustadio and Worker No.8.

Slowly, the truth dawned on the Ivalice soldiers, and they dropped their weapons. Delita could feel the heat that every glaring eye in the crater was burning into him.

"You killed our beloved queen!" Flite shouted angrily. "You've brought shame upon my country, my soldiers, and myself by making us take part in this charade! You disgust me! VOID SWORD!!!" Flite swung his mighty Sky Render and Delita was blown backwards. Flite cast Void Sword again and again, and Delita flew backwards over the rocks and dirt again and again. When Flite finally stopped, Delita, face down, leered up at Flite and used his cape to wipe the blood off of his lip. "You don't deserve that cape," Flite growled. "You don't deserve any of those clothes you wear. You don't even deserve to be telling me what to do..."

Delita glared at the officer as Flite raised Sky Render up high in preparation to administer his final blow. Everyone watched breathlessly. Time stood still.

"Captain Flite, stop," Ramza said as he stood up. Surprisingly, everyone quieted when they saw him rise. Captain Flite didn't lower his sword, but he turned to look at Ramza.

"Delita Hyral has done a great injustice to Ivalice," Ramza called out. "He has murdered its rightful leader and has cheated and lied his way into assuming control and sending you all after me. Most people would call for justice to be served-"

The soldiers all roared in agreement. Captain Flite readied his sword again.

"...But in spite of all this," Ramza continued, looking at Delita with sadness mixed with pity in his eyes. "In spite of all this, I still look upon him as my friend. He doesn't deserve death. I know not what the judges of Ivalice will say, but I, for one, will spare his life, and I ask that you all do the same. "

There were various murmurs throughout the crowd.

"Is he serious?" one soldier asked.

"He's got the patience of a saint to put up with that slimebag," another said.

Captain Flite turned to the battalion. "FALL BACK!!!" he yelled. "We will depart for Ivalice in the morning!"

Slowly, the remaining troops turned around and marched back out of the crater. Olan and Balmafula ran down into the crater to greet their friends.

"Father!" Olan yelled as he threw his arms around Orlandu.

"Olan, how good it is to see you again," Orlandu said, returning the hug. "You were very brave to come all this way."

"Balmafula! Nice to see you," Ramza said as he shook the magician's hand.

"Good to see ya, Ramza," Balmafula laughed. "Can you believe I thought I had the hots for that jerk Delita? And then he gave me THIS doozy," she pulled up her shirt to reveal a vicious scar across her stomach.

"Whoo! Nasty!" Malak winced.

"Ramza," Captain Flite said. "You have my utmost apologies about this entire incident. The military of Ivalice is in your debt."

"You're welcome," Ramza said.

"I hate to break this up, but we really ought to get into that temple before daylight," Cinna said.

"He's right," Rad said. "Ajora's still a threat."

"Ajora?..." Delita asked as Flite forced him to stand up and raise his hands high into the air in a sign of surrender.

"You don't know?" Alicia said. "The Lucavi's boss."

"He's also the boss of the Mechannites," Lavian added.

"Yeah, he's a lot more dangerous than you," Meliadoul taunted. Delita growled menacingly.

"Go now and find what is in the temple," Flite said. "These two and I shall handle Delita."

"Thank you very much, sir," Alma said, nodding politely.

"Let's go!" Malak called as he shoved the doors open and the party spilled into the temple.

"I hope they all come back OK," Balmafula said.

"They just might find a way to resurrect Ovelia," Olan said.

"That is their mission?" Flite asked. "I am ashamed even more."

"(I'm not finished with you yet...)" Delita growled. "(This is personal now, Ramza... I'll kill you with my bare hands if I have to...)"


	31. Queen of the Damned

**CHAPTER 31**

**QUEEN OF THE DAMNED**

"Here we are..." Ramza said as the party entered the Phantom Waterfall Temple's entrance.

"Say," Mustadio said. "This may sound like a dumb question, but where's the waterfall?"

Suddenly, a loud WHOOSH was heard. The party ran ahead and saw that the next chamber had a gigantic waterfall rushing through it on the far side. Its crystalline water tumbled down the wall in a loud roar and disappeared into an inky, black chasm below. It was truly an impressive sight.

"Ask a silly question..." Mustadio said, shrugging.

"Well, we've come this far," Cinna said. "Time for you guys to do your thing and bring back your pal."

"I guess so..." Alma said as she pulled out the 12 Zodiac Stones. They started to glow and pulse in her hands. She let go of them and they floated upwards. They suddenly flew into the waterfall and vanished.

"What?..." Rafa asked. "...Did we fail?"

"I hope we didn't," Malak said. "Or else I'll be REALLY mad!"

Just then, the waterfall stopped flowing. The water dribbled away and revealed a large tablet embedded in the wall. The 12 stones had fused with the tablet in a large circle. Two candelabras with purple and blue-flamed candles appeared on the sides of the room.

"Now comes the time when we must battle the one we want resurrected," Orlandu said. "Who's going to do it?"

"I will," Agrias growled, standing up.

"But Agrias," Mustadio objected. "Doing a one-on-one is supposed to be Ramza's bit!"

"Not here, Mustadio," Agrias said. "Ovelia's MY responsibility, so I'M gonna bring her back."

"Everyone help Agrias wish for Ovelia," Alma said. The others closed their eyes and grew silent.

Agrias walked out into the large area between the candelabras. She knelt down on one knee and drew her Rune Blade. "Twelve Chinese Zodiac Stones, please hear my plea," she said. "Please call Queen Ovelia back into this world, I beg of you..."

"Please..." Alma said quietly.

"For all of us..." Ramza added.

"Come back..." Orlandu said.

"C'mon..." Mustadio muttered.

Just then, the stones began to glow. They all emitted a bright, golden light that shone like a laser on the center of the room, right in front of where Agrias was kneeling. Slowly but surely, a girl with long, blonde hair, regal robes and a red cape appeared.

"I understand what happens next," Agrias said, readying her sword. "And I am willing to defeat you in order to bring you back. Come on, Ovelia!"

Ovelia whipped around. Her skin was a sickly gray, and her empty eye sockets glowed blood red. A large, green saber was clasped in her left hand.

"Oh, grossness!!!" Cloud yelled. "Hey, that sounds really familiar..."

"That's not Ovelia," Ramza exclaimed. "It's ZomVeila, the Despairing Remains of Slain Royalty!"

"Nice drama," Meliadoul said. "Save it for the theater, Ramza."

ZomVeila gave an inhuman shriek and charged at Agrias. She swung her sword downwards, and Agrias jumped out of the way. The blade hit the stone floor and burned a hole straight through the rocks.

"Holy-" Beowulf gasped.

"Bad word choice," Reis said quickly.

"GRRRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" ZomVeila wailed as she swung at Agrias again, her accuracy improving.

"Stasis Sword!!!" Agrias yelled as she sent the attack at her old friend. ZomVeila held out her sword and absorbed the attack. Then she sent it right back at Agrias, blasting her backwards into one of the candelabras.

"Ooh, that's GOT to leave a mark," Meliadoul said as she winced.

"Ovelia, wake up!" Agrias shouted as she got up again. "You're under a spell! You died, but we're trying to help you! Don't you remember me? Agrias? Your bodyguard?"

"Agriasssssss..." ZomVeila hissed in a horrible, echo-like voice. "If you were my bodyguarrrrrd, where were you when Delita ssssssstabbed meeeee?... DIE!!!!!" ZomVeila charged at Agrias and slashed. The swipe got Agrias right in the side and she fell to the ground.

"Agrias!!!" Mustadio yelled.

"It's no use reasoning with her," Rad said.

"You can't get soft on her, Agrias!" Cinna called. "Show 'er your baditude!"

"Yeah... Baditude..." Agrias said, standing up. A cocky smile appeared on her face and she chuckled at ZomVeila. "You're nothing but an illusion, you stinkin' bag of bones!" she laughed in a sarcastic tone. "A boil on my bum scares me more than you! You couldn't hit Mount Rushmore if you were 4 centimeters in front of it with a 6-foot bazooka!"

This infuriated ZomVeila, who charged straight at Agrias and cast Split Punch. This knocked Agrias backwards even further, and when she stood up there was an unpleasant surprise waiting for her.

"Agrias, you have a countdown!" Mustadio yelled.

"Heh?" Agrias asked as she looked up. A little red circle with the number 3 in it hung above her head. "I guess I'm timed now. I have three shots to kill this cadaver... Here we go... CRUSH PUNCH!!!"

Agrias's devastating attack was merely absorbed by ZomVeila's sword once again. The number sank down to 2. "What do I do now, guys?!" she yelled.

"Try a Lightning Stab!" Cloud yelled. "That always works!"

"All right... LIGHTNING STAB!!!" Agrias yelled as she swung her sword. The electric attack hit ZomVeila, but it didn't do much else. The number on Agrias's head went to 1.

"What to do... What to do..." Agrias panicked as she thought.

"What can we say?" Malak asked.

"There's gotta be some way to take out that zombie," Cinna said.

"Take out that..." Mustadio said. Then his eyes lit up. "Agrias, use a Phoenix Down!" he yelled.

"Huh? What good will that do?" she yelled back at him.

"Just DO IT!" Mustadio yelled. "Trust me!"

"All right," Agrias said, walking up to ZomVeila. She pulled out a golden feather and poked ZomVeila with it. ZomVeila crumpled up like a paper lantern thrown into a fire. All that was left was a pile of ashes. The countdown faded, and Agrias was free again.

"YES!!!" everyone yelled.

"Nice job, Captain Agrias!" Alicia called.

"We knew you could do it!, Captain!" Lavian yelled.

"Heh heh heh," Agrias chuckled. "I rock!"

"Yeah, right," Mustadio snorted. "If it weren't for my idea, you'd be crystallized by now."

"Aw, shut up," Agrias said, bopping Mustadio squarely in the nose with her gloved fist.

"OK, stones," Alma said. "We beat her... Now give us Queen Ovelia!"

"Heh heh heh..."

A dark laugh echoed through the room. Everyone looked around in confusion.

"I know that laugh..." Ramza growled.

"So clever you are, boy," Ajora's voice said. "I'll release the girl if you defeat me."

"What?!" Rafa yelled. "We did what was needed! We have the twelve stones and we beat the zombie! You're breaking the rules!"

"I MADE the rules," Ajora chuckled. "Now come and find your prize... My mages have finished their chant and opened the way... Before you is the entrance to your final destination... The Realm of the Dead."

"The Realm..." Ramza said. Just then, a horrible, green portal appeared in the floor before them. Horrible groans and screams could be heard coming out of it.

"That jerk!" Agrias growled. "Now we have to go squash him before we get Ovelia back!"

"Not to mention whatever else is down there..." Orlandu said. "Remember, we have many dead enemies."

"Let's go," Ramza said. "And we have to hurry!"


	32. Delita's Last Stand

**CHAPTER 32**

**DELITA'S LAST STAND**

"Not so fast!!!"

The party members were about to enter the portal that would take them to The Realm of the Dead when they heard this. They all whipped around to see Delita walking towards them. His cape was ripped to shreds, and his golden armor was now grimy and coated with mud.

"Delita..." Ramza said as he turned around to face his friend.

"He got away from Flite and the others?!" Agrias asked angrily.

"What do you want?" Mustadio growled as he loaded his gun.

Delita's mouth twitched into an insane grin. "You think those losers can hold me?!" he asked. "I'm just getting warmed up! Before you go anywhere else, you'll have to beat ME! Well, not me, exactly..."

"What are you trying to say, Delita?" Rafa asked.

Delita chuckled coldly. "I have a surprise for you, Ramza," he said. "I suppose you could call it a reunion of sorts. Come on out now!!!"

Delita snapped his fingers, and a familiar figure stepped out from behind him. He had blonde hair and wore a red Limberry Aegis Knights uniform.

"Algus?!" Ramza exclaimed. "But... What..."

"..." Algus said.

"Heh heh heh..." Delita chuckled. "That's right, Ramza; he's dead."

"Dead?!" Cinna exclaimed. "But he's standin' right in front of us. How can he be dead?"

"Didn't you just see that ZomVeila creature?" Meliadoul exclaimed. "Man, you have the memory span of a goldfish, don't you?"

"So, you do have a sense of humor..." Cinna chuckled.

"Furkkes found the body and did some experiments, and now he's as you see him here," Delita chortled. "He's just a shell of what he used to be. He's one of the living dead; just a loyal puppet who will obey his master."

"You!..." Alma gasped. "You're disgusting! No one deserves that, not even Algus!"

"Isn't it ironic, Ramza?" Delita asked, not even hearing Alma. "Algus and you were nobles, always controlling and using the peasants for your own desires. Well, who's doing the controlling now?"

"...Kill me..." Algus groaned.

"What was that, Algus?" Ramza asked, looking at the dead-yet-living Squire.

"Please... Kill me..." Algus groaned again. His body may have looked vicious and ready to attack, but his eyes were sad and remorseful.

"Enough talk," Delita growled. "Algus, I order you to destroy them!"

"Ramza..." Rafa said.

Ramza looked at her and then back at Algus and Delita. "I know... We'll do it for Algus's sake!"

"GRRR..." Algus growled, drawing his crossbow and firing a barrage of arrows. Ramza was able to pull out his shield just in time to block them. Algus lurched forward, his dead-colored face showing only signs of sorrow and regret.

"He's a zombie now, so most physical attacks won't do any good," Mustadio noted.

"So what SHOULD we use?" Malak asked.

"Hey guys," Cinna said. "Ever heard the story about 'Pete and Re-Pete?'"

"No, what was it?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah, tell us, quick!" Orlandu said as Algus took a few shots at him.

"The story goes like this: Pete and Re-Pete were in a boat. Pete jumped overboard. How many were left on board?"

"...One?" Reis asked.

"No," Cinna said. "None."

"...I get it!" Ramza said. "Worker No.8, restrain Algus!"

"Yes, Master," Worker No.8 beeped as he lurched forward and picked up the necromantic noble like a rag doll.

"Thanks, Worker No.8," Ramza said. "Leave the rest to me." He pulled out a Phoenix Down and pressed it into Algus's forehead.

Algus gave a strangely relaxed sigh. "Thank you..." he wheezed. "...Sorry... about everything..." He evaporated and his crossbow clattered to the floor.

"Nice thinking, Ramza!" Beowulf said. "...But I still don't get it."

"Cinna was suggesting that we do what Agrias did with ZomVeila, since Algus was also a zombie," Mustadio explained. "Why do you think the guy's name was 'Re-Pete?'"

"...Oh. OH," Beowulf said as the light dawned on him. "I get it now! Hey, I know a joke like that. There were eight knights riding along the road-"

"Shut up," Agrias snapped. "Can't you see we still have a battle to fight?"

"Well, that was entertaining," Delita smirked. "Algus never was very good at much, anyway."

"How can you do things like that?" Ramza asked. "I know Algus didn't like you, but how could you violate him like that?"

"Oh, shut up," Delita said. "I'm sick of that."

"Sick of what?" Ramza asked.

"Your big heart," Delita growled. "That's your strength AND your weakness. So now I'll just have to cut it out!"

Delita drew his Chaos Blade and charged at Ramza. Ramza drew his own Chaos Blade and parried the blow.

"Ramza!" Rafa cried.

"Stay back, everyone!" Ramza yelled. "This is my battle!"

The two warriors sprang around the room as Delita slashed away and Ramza deflected his blows. "You can't keep this up forever!" Delita laughed menacingly as he thrust his sword towards Ramza.

Ramza moved out of the way quickly and brought the flat of his sword down on Delita's head. "What brought you to this lowly state?" he asked.

"...YOU!" Delita answered quickly and cast a Lightning Stab that knocked Ramza backwards. He then proceeded to leap at Ramza with his sword in a decapitating position.

"What did I do?!" Ramza asked as he quickly sat up and let Delita fly over him. "Why do you hate me so much?!"

"You took away everything I ever cared for..." Delita growled as he stabbed and slashed over and over. "My sister, my good name, Ovelia..."

"Delita, I never took any of that from you!" Ramza shouted as he leaped up into the air. "Why do you continue to insist that I did?!"

"It'll make things look all the more convincing..." Delita chuckled eerily as he waited for Ramza to land and then started slashing again. "I'm already a hero in the eyes of the people... If I use this story and claim I hunted down and killed the man that did it all, I'll be a LEGEND! They'll WORSHIP me!!!"

"So this is all for you again?" Ramza asked. "But killing off your friends won't get you anything, Delita. When they return to Ivalice, your former soldiers will tell everyone what really happened. You'll go home to a cold and resentful people who will want to see your head on a post. Is that what you want?"

"SHUT UP!!!" Delita roared as he started lobbing his sword around in random motions. "I'll kill you and use the stones you collected to bring back my sister! THEN everything will be just right again!"

"You're trying to resurrect Teta?" Ramza asked. "...Delita, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because it wouldn't have made a difference!" Delita laughed. "I wanted to kill you anyway... Why not do it with you totally ignorant?"

"But what about Ovelia?" Ramza asked angrily. "You told me once that you'd give your life for her... Was all that a lie?"

"No, it wasn't," Delita said, continuing his onslaught. "But she can rot in Hell for all I care now! I'm large and in charge, and no one's gonna take that away from me! This peasant's gonna stay right where he is!"

With one quick slash, Delita sent Ramza flying backwards into the waiting arms of his friends. "Ramza, are you OK?!" Rafa asked. "Please answer..."

"I'm all right..." Ramza said as he stood up. "...Delita, what are you doing?!"

Delita was using his sword to dig the Chinese Zodiac Stones out of their places on the wall. When all twelve of them were out, he picked them up and threw them into the air. "BRING ME MY SISTER!!!!" he roared in a voice that sounded more like a demon's than his own. The stones shimmered for a minute, and then buried themselves in the tablet again.

"He's gone completely insane!" Alma cried.

"Did anyone fill him in on the next part?" Cinna asked.

"...I don't think so," Rad said. "Look!"

Delita was watching in shock and horror as the putrid remains of his sister appeared, clutching another laser sword. He screamed as ZomTeta lunged at him.

"Let's not stick around," Malak said, pointing to the portal. "We have to beat Ajora!"

"Right," Agrias said. "Let's go, Ramza!"

One by one, the party members leaped into the shimmering, black hole. As Ramza was about to leap, he looked up to see Delita on the defensive as ZomTeta slashed at him continuously.

"I'll get you for this, Ramza!!!" he yelled angrily. "We aren't finished yet!!!"

Ramza jumped into the portal without answering the angry rant, leaving Delita to his fate.


	33. The Realm of the Dead

**CHAPTER 33**

**THE REALM OF THE DEAD**

"Unghhhh..." Ramza groaned as he picked himself up. He was quite surprised when he stood up and found that he couldn't tell the floor from the ceiling. Everything around him was coated in a thick, green mist. "Where is everyone?..."

"Ramza, is that you?...."

Ramza turned around to see Cinna walking towards him. "Thank God I found you!" Cinna exclaimed. "I've been walkin' around in this soup for hours and I haven't found anyone else."

"Well, well..." the dark voice of Ajora echoed through the vapors. "It appears the hero has awakened..."

"Ajora!" Ramza called out. "Where are you?!"

"Oh, do be patient, young one..." Ajora's voice said in a low sneer. "This is all just a game to me... You really can't do anything but play it."

"Who's this Ajora dude anyway?" Cinna asked.

"Ajora was a man that lived hundreds of years ago," Ramza explained. "He collected the twelve Zodiac Stones and harnessed the powers of the Lucavi in an attempt to take over the world. The church at that time tried to put him down, but he destroyed one of their major sanctuaries. One of his followers, Germonik, was able to flee from him and write the Germonik Scriptures, but he was executed for one reason or another. Someone finally caught Ajora and had him executed later."

"...So why did you say you've fought him?" Cinna asked.

"Ajora decided he'd come back to take over the world again, so the remaining Lucavi began an intense plot to put certain people in Ivalice's government so they'd have easier access to the powers needed to revive Ajora. They're the ones that put Ovelia, and then Delita, on the throne of Zeltennia."

"Ya mean that queen's a fake?" Cinna asked.

"No," Ramza said. "Ovelia was truly the rightful heir, but they put Delita there to make sure they'd get what they wanted. Of course, Delita betrayed them and seized power for himself, but that's another story."

"You are wise in the ways of history, boy," Ajora's voice cackled. "But let's see how you handle the scars of the past!"

"What do you mean?" Ramza asked.

"You have reinforcements, so I have collected some as well," Ajora said. "There are six guardians you must defeat before you get to me. Ah... Your friends should be meeting you at any time now... Don't disappoint me, Ramza!"

"Wait! Ajora!!!" Ramza yelled as the voice faded out and all grew quiet. "...Dammit!" he cursed.

"Ramza!"

Ramza looked up and saw all his friends coming in from all directions. It was very strange-looking to see the 14 other people running towards him, considering that there was no visible ground to walk on.

"Ramza, are you all right?" Rafa asked.

"We were really worried about you," Alma said.

"We all landed in a group, but you and Cinna disappeared," Meliadoul said. "Oh... Looks like you're both here... Good."

"What?" Cinna asked. "Didja miss me, Mel?"

"Hmmph," Meliadoul snorted.

"Ajora said there were six guardians ahead," Ramza said as he pointed forwards. Suddenly, five doors appeared in front of the party. They each had a name over them...

Queklain...

Velius...

Zalera...

Adramelk...

...And Hashmalum.

"The Lucavi..." Agrias growled.

"It's gonna take a while to fight through these guys," Mustadio said.

"Not if we take them all down at once," Ramza said. "There are five doors, and sixteen of us. Agrias, Mustadio, Cloud, you take Queklain. Rafa, Malak, Worker No.8, handle Velius. Orlandu, Alicia, Lavian, take on Zalera. Meliadoul, Cinna, Beowulf, Reis, you deal with Hashmalum. Rad, Alma, you're with me on Adramelk."

"Well, that certainly got organized fast," Malak chuckled. "OK. Worker No.8, move out!"

The parties entered their respective doors and prepared themselves for the worst...

* * *

"Get ready, boys," Agrias said as Mustadio, Cloud and she walked through Queklain's door. "Be ready for anything."

"I never met this Queklain guy," Cloud said to Mustadio. "What's he like?"

"Ah, Lady Agrias!" a voice said. "Good to see you again."

The lights turned on, and Agrias saw that the group was back in the sanctuary where they had first battled Queklain. Cardinal Draclau sat in his chair behind the altar, his bald head glistening in the blue and purple light. "How have you been, Lady Agrias?" he asked.

"I'm a Captain now," Agrias growled, allowing the Cardinal to see the new insignia that glistened on her chest.

"Say, where'd you get that, anyway?" Mustadio asked.

"Before we left for Zeratul I went and talked with my teacher, Professor Daravon," Agrias boasted. "He promoted me in the name of the Gariland Academy."

"Wonderful," Draclau mused. "Ah, well. After that little fleeing stunt you pulled I'd have thought you'd be demoted to a Squire again."

"Argh..." Agrias snorted as she glared at the old man. "If I hadn't have had to protect Ovelia, you'd have been a dead man, Draclau!"

"Oh, I disagree," Draclau said as he stood up. "Besides, I'm a dead man now, and I'll still kill you." The air shimmered around him for a second, and then he became the dastardly Queklain.

"WOAH," Cloud gasped as he looked at the person. "It's Jabba the Hutt!"

"I am NOT!" Queklain yelled angrily. "EVERYONE makes that mistake."

"Oh, yeah," Cloud said, looking again. "Jabba had a tail. Never mind."

"GRRR..." Queklain growled. "Your end is near! NIGHTMARE!!!"

The dark blue spikes shot through the room and sent the party flying. Agrias was the first to get up. "I'm not giving up so easily this time!!!" Agrias yelled angrily. "LIGHTNING STAB!!!"

The electric blast knocked Queklain back for a few moments, and then he got back up again. "You've improved..." he growled. "Well, so have I! DOOMSDAY SYNDROME!!!"

The huge, fanged mouth in Queklain's stomach opened up and spewed out a black cloud that engulfed the party.

"(Hack! Wheeze!)" Mustadio gasped. "Where are you guys?!"

"I'm here!" Cloud called from one side.

"Where?" Mustadio asked as he began groping around in the fog. Offhand he grabbed hold of something squishy. "Is that you, Cloud?" he asked.

The response was a hard slap in the head. As the smoke cleared, Mustadio was confronted with Agrias's angry and blushing face. She was rubbing her butt as if something had damaged it. "Save it for later, hotshot!" she yelled angrily.

"Sheesh, sorry," Mustadio grumbled as he nursed his red cheek.

"This guy can't be that difficult!" Cloud yelled. "CLIMHAZZARD!!!"

Cloud ran and planted his sword in Queklain's fanged stomach. He then lurched upwards and split the beast in two. Queklain roared in pain and agony as he staggered around with bodily fluids spewing every which way.

"HOLY EXPLOSION!!!" Agrias yelled, sending her divine attack at the monster. Queklain fell on his butt and couldn't get up.

"Now it's my turn!" Mustadio said. "Hasta lavista, baby!!!"

Mustadio fired one shot from his Blast Gun, and Queklain exploded into nothing. Smirking, Mustadio blew the smoke from his gun, spun it around on his finger, and holstered it.

"I've always wanted to say that," he chuckled.

"Yeah, real original," Agrias snorted. "Come on! Let's hurry!"

"That was a Lucavi?" Cloud asked. "...He didn't seem that tough."

The air shimmered and the church dropped away and things reverted back to the usual green-mist setting that The Realm of the Dead had. A door appeared in front of the group, and they went through it.

* * *

"Why'd Ramza assign this clunker to OUR team?" Malak complained as he glared at Worker No.8.

"Because Ramza felt confident that he would respond well to you," Rafa sniffed. "Be considerate."

"Oh, you're just saying that because he's your BOYFRIEND!" Malak taunted, saying 'boyfriend' in that drawn-out, mocking voice.

"Shut up!" Rafa argued as her cheeks went bright crimson. "We have a mission to complete!"

Suddenly, the air shimmered and the scenery around them changed.

"...Hey, we're back at Riovanes," Malak noted.

"Good day to you," a voice said. Rafa and Malak looked, and at the top of the hall's steps there stood a man in a white cape.

"...You must be Wiegraf," Rafa said. "Ramza told me about you."

"Yes, that's me," Wiegraf said. "Tell me, how is old Ramza these days?"

"Why do you want to know?" Malak asked as he readied his Octagon Rod. "Worker No.8, get ready to fight!"

"I suppose there's no avoiding this," Wiegraf said as he took a step down from the top. "If I can't kill Ramza, I'll bump off his friends!"

Wiegraf shimmered and became Velius, the four-armed ram monster.

"Yikes!" Rafa cried. "He's UGLY!"

"All right, I'll admit I ought to comb my hair more often, but... HEY!" Velius roared. "Who cares?! Get ready to die!!!"

"Heaven Thunder Back!!!" Malak shouted. His dark attack had no effect on Velius. Velius raised one of his arms and smacked Malak into the pond nearby.

"You!..." Rafa huffed angrily. "STORAGE SPACE!!!"

The status-inducing purple rays knocked Velius back a bit, but he kept coming.

"Genocide Mode!" Worker No.8 beeped. "Attack!!!" He ran up and slugged Velius in the stomach. Hard.

Velius staggered backwards, obviously shocked from the attack. "So, you have a toy working for you?" Velius asked. "Pretty pathetic. It must mean you're pretty weak, just like Ramza!"

"If Ramza's so weak, how come you're dead?" Rafa challenged. "I'm not going to stand here and listen to you insult him!"

"Rafa..." Malak sputtered as he climbed out of the water.

"I'll insult Ramza as much as I want, you cheap exotic harlot!" Velius cackled. "Leave it to Ramza to fall in love with someone like you."

"Grrrrr..." Rafa growled as tears started to well up in her eyes. They weren't sad tears; they were tears of rage.

"What a fool you are," Velius laughed as he raised his hand to deliver a death blow to Rafa. Suddenly, it was stopped by a blue sphere of energy that flew in out of nowhere. Velius jumped backwards and looked around. "Who's there?!" he yelled angrily.

"'Thy evil spirit, Brutus,'" a girl said as she materialized beside Rafa. She had flowing, brown hair and she wore the muddy-green knight's uniform of the Death Corps. "You've really sold yourself out, big brother."

"...Miluda?!" Velius gasped. "But... How... What..."

"We're in The Realm of the Dead, remember?" Miluda said, her face twisting into a cocky smile. "I just haven't called on you lately."

"You're..." Malak started to ask.

"Miluda," Miluda said. "Wiegraf's sister. Come on, let's put this goat on a boat!"

"All right," Malak said. "SKY DEMON BACK!!!"

"SKY DEMON!!!" Rafa cried.

"CRUSH!!!" Worker No.8 whirred as his chest opened up and the cannon inside began to fire rapidly.

"WAVE FIST!!!" Miluda yelled as blue spheres of power flew from her knuckle. All four attacks hit Velius. He screamed in agony and was vaporized.

"Whew... That was close..." Rafa panted. "...I can't believe he'd be so bold as to insult Ramza like that! Oh... Thank you, Miluda."

"You're welcome," Miluda said. "Lissen, um..."

"What's wrong?" Malak asked.

"Could you guys do me a favor?" Miluda asked. "I went up against Ramza once, and... well... as you can see, I paid the price. When you see him again, tell him I'm sorry for what happened."

"...We'll tell him," Rafa said.

"Thanks," Miluda said. "And... good luck with him, Rafa."

Miluda faded away, as did Riovanes hall. The scenery changed back to the green mist. A door appeared in front of the group and it opened.

"Shall we?" Malak asked.

"Yeah..." Rafa said. Malak and Worker No.8 walked through the door, but Rafa stopped before she entered. She looked back at the swirling mists and sighed. "Goodbye, Miluda... Thank you..." she said. Then she turned around and walked through the door.

* * *

"Keep on guard," Orlandu said as he clutched Excalibur. "Zalera is around here somewhere..."

"We'll stay sharp, sir," Alicia said.

"He won't get the drop on us!" Lavian agreed.

"Crimony, they're like Thing 1 and Thing 2," Orlandu sighed as they walked through the mists. Suddenly, all went dark.

"Hey, what gives?!" Lavian yelled.

"Turn the lights back on!!!" Alicia shouted. "I'm afraid of the dark!"

"Then you wouldn't last five minutes with me, my dear..."

The lights came back on again, and the group found that they were standing in the middle of the graveyard beneath Limberry Castle.

"Uchhh!!!" Alicia yelled. "This place is horrible!!!"

"You know, for a name as jolly as 'Limberry,' the place is really awful," Lavian noted.

"Now, now, don't badmouth my house..."

Everyone turned to look at where the voice was coming from. Marquis Elmdor was at the back of the room, sitting on a throne made of skulls. Though the room was very dark, the Marquis's silver hair emitted a frightening glow. "Well, Orlandu, it's good to see you," he said. "I just wish it were under better circumstances."

"You should have stayed dead the first time, Elmdor," Orlandu said. "You were honorable before you died at Fuse Plains. Now you're just a pathetic shell for a Lucavi."

"Oh, do spare me your babbling," Elmdor muttered. "I'll get rid of you all, and I won't even have to lift a finger." He put his fingers to his mouth and blew. A shrill whistle shot through the room. Everyone waited, but nothing happened. "...Blast it all, where are my assassins?!" he yelled angrily.

"Oh, they're not here," Alicia said.

"We beat 'em already," Lavian added.

"WHAT?!" Elmdor cried. "But... Where are they now?!"

* * *

"All right," Celia said as she leaned forward on the desk. "You seem to be able to pay for this, but we're still a little confused about it..."

"Yes," Lede said. "You've asked us to kill a person we don't know. Tell us, why should we kill this 'ker-plop' guy?"

"Because he never puts me in a good light in his stories!!!" Squall yelled angrily. "I'm always being cut off and thrown into magma and hit with anvils and who knows what else he's got planned for me!!!"

"...Like this?" Celia asked as she hit a button on the desk. A sumo wrestler fell out of nowhere and crushed Squall.

"Ahh, it's a living," Lede chuckled.

* * *

"Case in point," Orlandu said, pointing to the above-mentioned ATE. "They aren't here."

"Fine," Elmdor muttered. "I'll kill you myself!"

Elmdor shimmered for a second and then he became Zalera. "Prepare to die!!!" he hissed.

"His name's Zarella?" Alicia asked.

"Does he have a brother named 'Mozz?'" Lavian asked.

"It's ZALERA, not Zarella," Orlandu grumbled. "Just get ready to fight!"

"Right!" Alicia and Lavian said at the same time, drawing their Rune Blades.

"NIGHTMARE!!!" Zalera shrieked. The blue rays sent everyone flying backwards.

"Ohhh... What a shock..." Lavian groaned.

"Count Orlandu, are you all right?" Alicia asked. Orlandu lay in the corner with a large bubble coming out of his nose.

"Crap, he's asleep," Lavian muttered. "I forgot that Nightmare does that to people."

"I guess we'll have to take him on ourselves," Alicia said as Lavian and she clasped hands.

"Oh, no," Zalera wheezed sarcastically. "Two rookie knights. I'm SOOO scared!"

"We're not rookies," Lavian admonished.

"And you SHOULD be scared!" Alicia yelled. The two knights charged in at the same time.

"What's this?" Zalera asked.

"SPEED BREAK!!!" Alicia yelled.

"MIND BREAK!!!" Lavian shouted.

The two attacks connected and Zalera flopped backwards, slower and with less magic ability. "You little brats!" he yelled angrily. He held his arm out, and spheres of energy began to merge together in a large, yellow ball. "PLASMA FLARE!!!"

The horrific attack landed between Alicia and Lavian and knocked them to the sides of the graveyard.

"Alicia, are you OK?" Lavian yelled.

"Yeah," Alicia called. "I'm over here, by the McPherson tomb!"

"It's useless to resist me, little girls," Zalera chuckled. "Perhaps if you beg for mercy, I'll make you two my new assassins..."

"Would that include servicing you in other ways besides killing?" Alicia asked.

"...Yes..." Zalera said slowly.

"No thanks," Lavian growled. "Alicia, I know were were saving this to show Captain Agrias, but now's a good a time as any to use it!"

"Right, Lavian!" Alicia said. "On the count of three!"

"What?..." Zalera asked.

"ONE... TWO... THREE!!!" Alicia and Lavian yelled at the same time. "STASIS SWORD!!!"

Both knights swung their swords, and Zalera became surrounded in a sheet of ice. He screamed in agony and exploded when the ice shattered. The debris fell down like a fine snow.

"Yay! We did it!" Alicia cheered.

"Success!" Lavian cried out.

"ZZZ... What? What did I miss?" Orlandu asked. Alicia and Lavian helped him up and explained what had happened. Orlandu scratched his head and smiled at the two. "Well, good job," he said. "You two are on your way to becoming Heavenly Knights, just like your Captain."

"Hooray!" the two knights said at the same time. Suddenly, the graveyard was replaced with the misty-green background of before. A door appeared before them and they walked through it.

* * *

"Stay alert," Meliadoul said as the party walked through the mist. "Hashmalum could be anywhere."

"You seem pretty uptight, Mel," Cinna said as the group walked along. "Is something up?"

"Hashmalum killed my father and my brother," Meliadoul growled. "I've got a good reason to be uptight."

"I hope he shows himself soon," Reis said. "I'm getting chills from this mist."

"It IS unpleasant," Beowulf said. "He had better show up."

"My, my... Impatient, aren't we?" a dark voice said. Everyone looked around and saw that the mist had shifted back to the airship they had been flying on when they had battled Hashmalum last.

"I know that voice..." Meliadoul growled. "Come out!!!"

Vormav appeared in front of the group. "Nice of you to come all this way to pay me a visit, dear daughter," he chuckled darkly.

"Shut up!" Meliadoul yelled angrily. "You're not my father anymore, and I'm gonna get rid of you once and for all!"

"Such harsh words," Vormav growled. "Children that talk back to their parents like that should be punished."

"Lay off her, man!" Cinna said, stepping in front of Meliadoul. "I haven't known Meliadoul for long, but I know when something's up! Now you just step back, nice and easy..."

"Cinna..." Meliadoul started to say. She had finally realized that Cinna had never meant any harm; he had just wanted to be her friend.

"Funny, I don't recognize you," Vormav said. "Has another low life joined you and the kid, Meliadoul?"

"Be quiet!" Meliadoul cried. "He's my friend!"

"Mel?" Cinna asked. "That's the first time you've ever called me that."

"Well..." Meliadoul shrugged. "There's a first time for everything."

"This conversation's not getting us anywhere," Beowulf said as he drew his sword. "Let's just fight already!"

"I agree this time," Reis said, her silky dress and golden hair rippling in the breeze that blew over the airship's deck. "Let's defeat him."

"Fine," Vormav chuckled. "But I won't go down so easily this time!"

Vormav shimmered and mutated into the ferocious lion monster, Hashmalum. "Playtime's over..." he growled menacingly.

"Just like when that mad doctor turned into Torokann!" Cinna remarked.

"You defeated Torokann?" Hashmalum asked. "Hmmph. Prepare to meet your doom! DEATH CLAW!!!"

Hashmalum slashed at Meliadoul, sending her flying backwards. She would have been knocked off the airship if Cinna hadn't grabbed her.

"You OK, Mel?" Cinna asked.

Meliadoul quickly hid the blush on her face and wrenched free of Cinna's grip. "I'm fine," she said. "...Thank you, Cinna."

"You're welcome," Cinna said, smiling warmly at her.

"SHOCK!!!" Beowulf yelled as he cast the destructive spell. Hashmalum was knocked back a ways, but overall it didn't do anything.

"Holy Bracelet," Reis said as she put her lips together and blew out a righteous laser beam that blew Hashmalum back a few feet.

"Lemme help!" Cinna said, strumming his Lute. "Rummbaaaaaa!"

The deadly notes pelted Hashmalum pretty hard, and he slipped and fell off the airship.

"Yes!" Beowulf said, pumping his fist. "We got him!"

"Don't bet on it," Hashmalum roared as he leaped up from the other side of the ship and landed with a hard blow. The airship wobbled around and sent everyone rolling.

"Beowulf, catch me!!!" Reis yelled as she slid towards the edge.

"I've got you!" Beowulf yelled as he slid down and grabbed her just before she went over the side.

"Awww, Wolfy..." Reis said as she nuzzled his face with her cheek.

"Reis, not now," Beowulf said gently. "We've a fight to finish!"

"That was a cheap trick!" Meliadoul growled as she and Cinna faced Hashmalum down on the top of the airship.

"DEATH CLAW!!!" Hashmalum yelled as he charged at Meliadoul with his claws out. The attack was stopped when Cinna brought his lute down on Hashmalum's head. Hard.

"Ah HA!" Cinna laughed. "Just like in FuriKuri!"

"In what?" Meliadoul asked.

"...Aww, never mind," Cinna said. "...Hey, I think he's still alive!"

"GRRRR..." Hashmalum growled as he started to get up. "I'll kill you..." he choked out. "Hold still..."

Suddenly, a huge mass landed on Hashmalum and then vanished. Hashmalum exploded and ash flew everywhere. "What the heck?!" Meliadoul asked. "What was that?!"

"Hello, Meliadoul."

"Huh?" Meliadoul asked as a boy landed in front of Cinna and her.

"Sorry I didn't show up earlier," the mysterious person said.

"Izlude!" Meliadoul cried.

"Meliaodul," Izlude said. "What you did was right. Joining Ramza was the right thing to do... I regret that I didn't."

"Brother..." Meliadoul said quietly.

"I jumped on Hashmalum to finish him," Izlude said, motioning to where Hashmalum had been lying. "I just wanted to see you again. I have to go now, Meliadoul. Take care of yourself..."

"Wait, Izlude!" Meliadoul said, running up to him. She held out her hand to him. He reached for it, but his hand passed through hers like it was a fine vapor.

He held his hand up thoughtfully for a minute, then looked sadly at his sister. "...I'm sorry..." he said quietly. Just then, the airship and Izlude faded and the green mist surrounded the party once again.

"Izlude..." Meliadoul sighed, dropping to her knees.

"You loved your bro more than anything, huh?" Cinna asked.

"He was my best friend in the whole world," Meliadoul said.

Cinna, Beowulf and Reis looked at her as she got up and looked around. "...But I'm NOT gonna cry!" she declared. "Come on, let's go meet the others and kick Ajora's butt!"

"Right! That's the Meliadoul we know," Beowulf chuckled.

A door appeared on the far side of the mist, and the foursome ran into it.

"But seriously, Cinna, what's FuriKuri?" Meliadoul asked.

"Oh... Something," Cinna chuckled.

"No, please, tell me!" Meliadoul said, getting a little irritated.

"Nope," Cinna laughed.

"Urrrgh..." Meliadoul growled as she put her hand over her face.

* * *

"Do we really have to do this?" Alma asked as Ramza, Rad and she walked into darkness.

"He's not Dycedarg anymore, Alma," Ramza said. "...Just a shell."

"Such a pity you'd talk of me like that, Ramza."

Everyone looked around and saw the mists change into the huge hall at Igros castle. Dycedarg stood up on the overpass, leering down at the three travelers.

"Hey, don't scare us like that!" Rad yelled.

"I see you're still running around with the commoners," Dycedarg said to Alma and Ramza without even looking at Rad. "You're both pathetic."

"And you should talk?" Alma chastised. "You sold the Beoulve name out, Dycedarg. You made us all look like villans, and then you killed Zalbag!"

"I guess you heard, then," Dycedarg said, a cruel smile appearing on his bearded face. "Well, we're in my territory now, and there's no way you can win."

"Ramza can take you, you old windbag!" Rad yelled. He then turned back to Ramza. "...You can take him, right, boss?" he asked.

"I told you to just call me Ramza," Ramza said to his pupil. "...But yes, I can handle him."

"Then I'll test you!" Dycedarg laughed as he shimmered and became the abominable green goat beast Adramelk. He dropped down in front of them and began to attack. He grabbed Ramza and hurled him at Alma. They both crashed into the wall.

"Hey, leave 'em alone, you stupid nanny-goat!" Rad yelled, bringing his axe down on Adramelk's head. A piece of Adramelk's right horn snapped off and clattered on the stone floor.

"Why, you... you... you..." Adramelk gasped, not able to contain his anger. "WHELP!!! DIE!!!"

Adramelk grabbed Rad and smashed him against the wall, and was about to use his face to crush Rad's skull when Ramza ran up behind him and stabbed him with his Chaos Blade. Adramelk roared in pain and dropped Rad, who started hacking away at Adramelk again.

"Thanks, boss," Rad called.

"...Ramza," Ramza admonished.

"MBarrier!" Alma chanted, surrounding herself and her friends in the magic barriers. She then ran up to Adramelk and smacked him across the face with her Gold Staff.

"You lousy pests!" Adramelk yelled. "Well, how's this? LOSS!!!"

Adramelk fired a green beam from his horns, and the three fighters became confused. They started whacking at each other.

"Weaklings," Adramelk laughed as he walked up and readied himself to crush them all in one blow.

"They were right about you being pathetic, Dycedarg."

"What?" Adramelk asked as he looked around. He was quite surprised when a Lightning Stab zapped him backwards. The blast also shook Rad, Ramza and Alma out of their confusion.

"What? Who did that?" Ramza asked, looking around.

"Up here, Ramza..."

Ramza looked up onto the landing and saw his brother Zalbag, who Adramelk had killed before. "Zalbag!!!" Ramza cried happily.

"You..." Adramelk growled as he leered up at Zalbag.

"Now, Ramza!" Zalbag yelled.

"Right!" Ramza said, running up and stabbing Adramelk through the stomach. The beast roared in agony and vaporized.

"YEAH! Way to go, boss!" Rad cheered.

"You're great, brother!" Alma cheered.

"Nice work, Ramza," Zalbag said as he leapt down to confront the trio.

"Zalbag..." Ramza said. "...I'm sorry about what happened before."

"It's not your fault," Zalbag said, waving his hand. "What's important now is that things be restored to how they should be..."

"Zalbag?" Ramza asked.

"The world has been thrown into chaos by Queen Ovelia's murder," Zalbag said. "From what I've seen, only you can make it right again. Ramza, do all of us a favor and defeat Ajora! By reviving the queen, you'll be bringing order to chaos."

"But Zalbag, will I ever see you again?" Ramza asked.

"Some day..." Zalbag said. "Until then, be brave and fight for what you believe in... And take care of Alma."

"Yes, brother," Ramza said. Zalbag smiled, and then he, along with the scenery, faded back into the green mists that surrounded The Realm of the Dead.

"You've got a swell brother, boss," Rad said.

"Yeah..." Ramza said.

A door appeared before the party, and they stepped through it.


	34. A Deadly Deception

**CHAPTER 34**

**A DEADLY DECEPTION**

"Well, that wasn't so tough," Cloud declared as Agrias, Mustadio and he wandered through the green mists. "What do we do now?"

"I guess we find the others," Mustadio suggested.

"No duh," Agrias snorted. "But where ARE the-"

Agrias's question was answered when she collided with Worker No.8. "HEY! Watch where you're going!" she yelled at the machine.

"Apologies, master," Worker No.8 beeped as he bowed to Agrias.

"We're all here..." Meliadoul said as her party appeared.

"I guess we made it," Rafa said as Malak and she emerged from the mist.

"How is everyone?" Orlandu asked as Alicia, Lavian and he revealed themselves.

"We're all OK," Alma said as Rad, Ramza and she showed up.

"Good, it looks like everyone's all right," Ramza said.

"Those Lucavi didn't have a prayer," Cinna chuckled.

"If only you knew the irony in that sentence," Orlandu chuckled.

Just then, the mists faded away again, and the party found themselves in what looked like a dark cave. "Hey, what gives?!" Malak yelled.

"Is this another battle?" Reis asked.

"Ajora DID say there were six guardians," Ramza said. "We just got rid of five, so..."

"Ramza!!!"

Everyone looked ahead to see Queen Ovelia running towards them.

"Ovelia..." Ramza gasped.

"Your majesty!" Agrias cried.

"I'm glad to see you're all OK..." Ovelia said.

"I guess we didn't fail after all," Rafa said.

"Now, let's get out of here!" Ovelia suggested.

"Hold on," Orlandu said. "We have to get rid of Ajora first."

"Oh, why do you want to get rid of him?" Ovelia asked. "He's a nice guy!"

"..." Ramza said.

"Hmm?..." Meliadoul asked.

"Nice?!" Rad asked. "Where have you been?!"

"...What's your middle name?" Agrias asked Ovelia suddenly.

"What?" Ovelia asked.

"What's your middle name?" Agrias repeated the question.

"Ummmm... Rupert?" Ovelia asked.

"...You're not Ovelia," Agrias growled, drawing her sword. "Just a cheap impostor."

"Oh, nuts!" Ovelia growled. "I guess it didn't work. Oh, well..."

Ovelia shimmered for a moment and became a knight clad in dark-brown armor with a long, white moustache. "I guess I'll have to kill you all anyway!"

"Gafgarion!" Ramza growled, drawing his sword.

"Ahh!" Rad cried. "Boss, it's my old boss!"

"No one's getting past here without going through me first," Gafgarion growled as he drew his Ancient Sword.

"It'll be my pleasure," Agrias growled. "Anyone who impersonates the queen is looking for a fight!"

"Get ready!" Ramza said. Ramza, Rad, Agrias, Mustadio and Alma separated from the rest of the group and faced Gafgarion.

"NIGHT SWORD!!!" Gafgarion yelled as his dark attack sent the party flying.

"Owww!" Alma cried as she crashed against the rock wall. "That really hurt!"

"You louse!" Agrias yelled. "You'll pay for this!"

"Take this!" Mustadio yelled as he fired his gun. Gafgarion blocked each shot with his sword.

"He's tougher now than before," Ramza noted. "Be careful, everyone."

"I have some new attacks, too..." Gafgarion mused. "RAIJINGEKI!!!"

Ramza was blown backwards as Gafgarion stabbed him with an electrically-charged sword.

"Man, he IS pretty rough," Cinna exclaimed as he helped Ramza to his feet.

"Lightning Stab!" Agrias yelled as she fired the shocking blast. Gafgarion sidestepped it with ease.

"ENSUZIAN!!!" Gafgarion yelled as he began to spin around like a saw blade. He collided with Agrias and knocked her against the wall.

"So you have some fancy-pants Japanese attacks," Mustadio muttered. "That won't help you! LEG AIM!!!"

The blast stopped Gafgarion dead in his tracks. "You forget that my attacks can be fired from a distance!" Gafgarion laughed. "NIGHT SWORD!"

The devilish attack threw Mustadio backwards and he collided with Alma, which knocked both of them out.

"You!..." Ramza growled, charging at Gafgarion. One Raijingeki was all it took to bring Ramza to his knees.

"Ha! Looks like I'm about to win!" Gafgarion laughed.

"You forgot about me, ex-Boss!" Rad said as he stepped forward.

"Oh, like I'm scared of you, peewee," Gafgarion snorted. "I'll kick your butt, too!"

"You should be scared," Rad said. "I've learned more from Ramza than I ever did from you. Like this! WISH!"

Rad held up his hand, and half of his energy was sent to Ramza, who got back up and charged at Gafgarion.

"What the?!" Gafgarion roared. "You learned THAT?!"

"Believe it, Buster," Ramza said as he sent his Chaos Blade right through Gafgarion's stomach. The grizzled warrior gaped in shock.

"Don't think this is the end, Ramza!" he spluttered as he hacked up black blood. "I... will... haunt... you... until... the... day... you... die..."

Rays of light began to shoot out of Gafgarion's body and he disintegrated. Ramza sheathed his sword and looked at Rad. "Thanks, Rad," he said.

"No problem, boss!" Rad said.

"Stop calling me boss," Ramza said again with a cross sigh.

"OK... Ramza," Rad said, rolling the name around in his mouth.

"Good thinking, Agrias," Mustadio said as he helped her up. "We wouldn't have known that was an impostor if it wasn't for you."

"Aww, go on," Agrias chuckled, waving her hand and blushing.

"By the way, what IS Ovelia's middle name?" Alma asked.

"...Promise you won't tell?" Agrias asked. "It's a royal family secret."

"We promise," everyone said at the same time.

"...It's Latrine," Agrias said quickly.

"...Latrine?!" Rafa asked.

"Latrine," Agrias repeated.

There was a brief moment of silence. Then, everyone started laughing hysterically. Reis fell on the ground and rolled around, clutching her belly and laughing as hard as Beowulf.

"AAAAHH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!" Cloud laughed. "LATRINE! WHAAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Heh heh heh... Don't laugh..." Agrias giggled, trying hard to contain her own laughter but failing. "...Oh, who'm I kidding? AAAAA-HAAAA-HAAAAAA!!!"

"How'd she get that kind of a middle name, anyway?!" Cinna asked.

"When she was a baby, she fell into one!" Agrias sniggered. "Not a water one, mind you. A hole in the ground! It took 'em HOURS to get her out! HEEE HEEE HEEEE!!!"

"Ha. Ha. Ha," Worker No.8 laughed in his usual monotone voice.

And so, the group sat there laughing for a good fifteen minutes before things calmed down.

"OK, what were we doing again?" Meliadoul asked.

"That's right... We have to deal with Ajora," Ramza said, standing up. "But..."

"What, Ramza?" Rafa asked.

"I don't know if I should ask you all to come with me," Ramza said. "I feel like you're all my responsibility. I mean, look at you... You've all been branded heretics because of me, and if we all go up against Ajora, I'm afraid some of you might..."

"Come on, Ramza," Mustadio said. "We've had this conversation before, remember? It was right before we went into Murond Death City..."

_(Flashback)_

The party stood at the entrance to Orbonne Monastery, where Vormav and his Temple Knights had fled. The sky was darkening as evening approached, and storm clouds hovered low in the atmosphere. Thunder could be heard in the distance.

"This is it... We'll finally see what Vormav's up to..." Ramza said as he observed the grim building.

"Well, what're you waiting for, Ramza? Let's get going!" Agrias said as she put her hand on the hilt of her sword.

Ramza shook his head sadly. "Not you guys. I want you all to go home. This isn't your fight."

"What?..." Reis asked.

"I don't want Vormav taking out his rage on you guys," Ramza said, turning his back on the others. "Go on home. I'll be fine."

The others looked at each other worriedly and got into a huddle. After about thirty seconds of mumbling, they all turned around and looked at Ramza.

"...Sorry, Ramza. We can't do that," Rafa said, shaking her head.

"What?! But-" Ramza objected.

Rad held up his hand. "Look around, Boss," he said. "You've got a lot of people here that don't even HAVE homes anymore. Orlandu can't go home, and neither can Agrias. Meliadoul doesn't have a home either, and Worker No.8 doesn't have anything."

"I don't want you all involved!" Ramza said, stomping his foot. "I don't want to see my friends hurt!"

"Duh! We're ALREADY involved, Beoulve!" Meliadoul snorted.

"Besides, Ramza. You're our friend too, you know," Mustadio piped up.

Ramza stood and looked at the group silently.

Mustadio broke the silence by holding up his gun and loading it. "...And any enemy of a friend's is an enemy of mine!" he finished. "That's why I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not!"

"That goes for all of us," Cloud said as he readied his Materia Blade.

"You've protected us," Rafa said as she spun her Octagon Rod around. "Now it's time for us to protect you..."

"We're friends, Ramza. We've gotta share the good times and the bad," Beowulf added.

The others that hadn't said anything shouted in agreement.

Ramza smiled. "...You guys... Thanks... To tell you the truth, I was hoping you'd all stay..." he said, trying to hide the fact that his voice was cracking.

"That's the spirit! Now, let's go kick Vormav's sorry butt!" Malak yelled. Everyone held their weapons up and gave a loud battle cry before they charged into the monastery.

_(End Flashback)_

"...Yeah..." Ramza said. "Sorry about that. I have to remember that you guys WANT to fight beside me. All right! Let's go!"

"We're gonna get rid of that wannabe saint for good this time!" Beowulf said.

"Let's kick his keister back to the stone age!" Malak shouted.

"We can do it if we work together..." Rafa said.

"YES! Let's go!!!" Agrias yelled. The group started forwards when Ramza called for everyone to stop.

"What's wrong, Ramza?" Alma asked.

"I just want to thank each and every one of you," Ramza said. "You guys are the best friends a heretic could ever have."

"Awww," Reis said. "He's so sweet!"

Rafa smiled warmly at Ramza.

"All right, we can go now," Ramza said as the group picked up the hike again.

"Hold on a minute!" Mustadio said as he looked off to the side. A strange object was lying on the ground in the cave.

"What's up, Mustadio?" Cinna asked.

"Look at this," Mustadio said as he knelt down and picked up the object. It was a strange mask with burning, yellow eyes and spikes jutting out from the side.

"What is it?" Alicia asked.

"Does it have a label?" Lavian asked.

"Hmmm..." Mustadio hummed as he turned the mask over and looked on the other side. "Ah! It has some words written inside of it," he announced.

"What does it say?" Agrias asked.

"...'Ajora's Mask,'" Mustadio concluded. The sound of the usual comedy drum flourish could be heard from somewhere.

"Hoo boy..." Beowulf said as he smacked himself in the head. "We're gonna get it for that one."

Everyone waited. The network censor didn't appear. "...What? What's the deal?" Cinna asked.

"Oh, I give up!" the censor yelled angrily as she packed her suitcase and walked out of the office. "Stupid video game characters... I've no sympathy at all."


	35. Ajora's Wrath

**CHAPTER 35**

**AJORA'S WRATH**

"Well, we're coming out of the cave, it looks like..." Ramza said as the party neared the exit to the dark cave they'd been walking in for some time.

"Dude, this Realm of the Dead place is creepin' me out big time," Cinna said. "Lots of dead people."

"That's probably why they call it The Realm of the Dead," Meliadoul muttered. "You're not too bright, are you?"

Cinna just chuckled. "What's so funny? You always laugh when I insult you," Meliadoul said.

"It's because you're so good at it..." Cinna said. Meliadoul made no effort to hide the blush on her face this time.

"This is it..." Orlandu said. "Now we face Ajora..."

"We'll save Ovelia..." Agrias added.

"...And restore peace to the world..." Rafa finished.

"Let's go," Ramza said quietly.

The 16 friends walked into a rather large room that looked like part of a temple. There was a large, black rug upon the floor, and the walls were spattered with blood. Horrible bronze statues of demons and humans in positions of torture decorated the walls, their evil and pained eyes glaring down at the intruders. Black-flamed candles were set up in a circle around the center of the room. In the center of the candles lay the remains of the dead Queen Ovelia. As the friends entered, the black candles made their shadows look menacing and ominous on the blood-stained walls.

"Ovelia..." Ramza said quietly.

"Man, this place reeks!" Cloud complained, putting a hand on his nose. "Smells like a dead body."

"There IS a dead body," Rad muttered. "It's right there in front of you!"

"This is a den of evil, for certain," Alma said. "I sense something of pure darkness here..."

"Welcome, my friends..."

Everyone looked around. Ajora's voice had echoed from somewhere in the room. "Ajora..." Ramza growled.

"Where are you?!" Alicia yelled.

"Show yourself!" Lavian challenged.

The shadows the group threw on the wall all suddenly oozed off of the wall and formed a puddle of black goo in front of Ovelia's body. "Nice to see you all made it here," Ajora chuckled. "It seems that not even my resurrected soldiers could stop you. You truly are a brave warrior, Ramza Beoulve."

"..." Ramza said.

"But no one will take away what I worked so hard to get," Ajora continued. "I'll kill you all and take over the world!"

"How do you plan to do that, sludge man?" Mustadio asked. "Mess up our shirts?"

"Just you watch, you insolent whelp!" Ajora laughed as the goo patch slid backwards and entered Ovelia's remains through the mouth and stomach.

The party stood silent, just waiting to see what would happen next.

"What do you think he's doing?" Alma asked.

Suddenly, Ovelia's eyes snapped wide open. There were no eyes or pupils... just blackness. The body lurched upwards and faced the group, tilting at an odd angle and the arms hanging limp.

"Does this look familiar?" the voices of Ovelia and Ajora said at the same time.

"You're sick!" Agrias yelled. "How dare you violate the remains of her majesty!"

"I needed a vessel to bring me out of this accursed Realm," Ajora and Ovelia explained. "What better vessel is there than a royal one? However, in my current form I couldn't enter a LIVING body, so..."

"Disgusting creature!" Meliadoul growled, her Save The Queen ready to strike. "We'll defeat you once and for all!"

"Dunno who he is, but I'll help you all out!" Cinna said, grabbing his lute.

"Time to die, everyone!" Ajora and Ovelia laughed as the body lifted into the air and surrounded itself in an MBarrier.

"Curse him!" Orlandu said. "He's got full control of Ovelia's abilities!"

"GYAAAAARRRRGHHH!!!" Ajora and Ovelia screeched as the body flew down in a dive bomb towards the party.

"Hah!" Beowulf yelled as he cast his Shock attack and knocked the vessel backwards.

"You're going down!" Reis yelled. "FIRE BRACELET!!!"

Reis fiery breath ignited the body and it began to burn to ashes. "Really clever," Ajora and Ovelia taunted. "If you destroy the body, there's no way you can get her back!"

"What?!" Ramza yelled angrily. "You're changing the rules again! LEVIATHAN!!!"

The water dragon appeared and splashed water all over the battlefield, extinguishing the flames and soaking the body. As the corpse stood up, water leaked from its eye sockets and the other holes in it.

"Face it, kids," Ajora and Ovelia laughed. "There's no way I'm getting out of this fine body!"

"I know a tune that binds evil spirits," Cinna said to Ramza. "Want me to play it?"

"Go for it," Ramza said. Cinna pulled out his lute and began to play a vibrant melody as fast as he could. The horrible monster in front of them grabbed at its ears and screeched inhumanly.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!" Ajora and Ovelia wailed. "WHAT IS THIS AWFUL MUSIC?! STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!!"

"No way, Jose," Cinna chuckled. "Not until you let that queen go!"

"AAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!!! CURSES!!!" Ajora and Ovelia screamed. Suddenly the goo flew out of the corpse and landed on the floor. It molded around and took the shape of Ajora. His silvery hair glistened in the black candlelight and his piercing yellow eyes eyed the party with pure hatred. Ovelia's cadaverous form crumpled to the ground behind them.

"Good, we were able to get him out of her body," Rafa said. "Let's defeat him now!"

"You'll never defeat me!" Ajora yelled. "Come on... Let's finish this!"

"Battle formation!!!" Ramza yelled. All sixteen party members ran to different positions in the room and surrounded Ajora.

Ajora looked around at his assailants and chuckled evilly. "Oh, I'm sooo scared," he mused. He held out his hand and produced a large sword. It was about as long as he was tall. "I introduce you all to Chaltier, my sacred blade!"

"Get ready, everyone!" Agrias shouted.

"Arm Aim!" Mustadio yelled, firing his gun.

"Stasis Sword!" Alicia and Lavian shouted as they launched their new attack.

"Dash!" Rad yelled as he charged towards the psychotic man.

"CYCLONE!" Ajora shouted as he spun around and deflected all the attacks. Rad flew backwards and collided with Worker No.8, who was knocked back a few feet.

"Are you all right, master?" Worker No.8 asked.

"I'm fine, tin man," Rad said as he got back down onto the ground. "Just a bit rattled."

"SHOCK!" Beowulf commanded.

"Holy Bracelet!" Reis said in her usual soothing manner.

"LIGHTNING STAB!!!" Orlandu and Agrias yelled at the same time as they swung their swords.

"Fools," Ajora said. "BLAZER SWORD!!!" He surrounded himself in fire and flew upwards. He then plummeted back to earth and his fire attack swept through the room, blowing everyone backwards.

"You're asking for it now!" Meliadoul yelled. "HELLCRY PUNCH!!!"

The destructive attack shattered Chaltier. Ajora turned on Meliadoul in a blinding rage. "YOU LITTLE!!!-" he yelled.

"Time for the finale!" Cloud yelled. "OMNISLASH!!!"

"MBarrier!" Alma yelled as she surrounded everyone with the holy net.

"Crush!" Worker No.8 blipped as his chest compartment opened and a barrage of missiles flew out.

"SKY DEMON!!!" Rafa cried.

"SKY DEMON BACK!!!" Malak yelled. Both attacks hit Ajora and knocked him backwards.

"I've been savin' this attack for a long time..." Cinna said. "GOLDEN VOICE!!!" Cinna sang a high note and gigantic notes lined with poisonous barbs that flew out and buried themselves in Ajora's skin.

"AAAAHHHH!!!" Ajora wailed.

"Time to end this once and for all," Ramza growled as he drew his Chaos Blade. He ran up and slashed Ajora across the chest. Black blood flew everywhere.

"KYYYYAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!" Ajora wailed as he dropped to the ground. Suddenly, he emitted a bright flash. Everyone looked around in confusion.

"What just happened?" Meliaodul asked.

"I don't know..." Rafa said.

"Heh heh heh..." Ajora chuckled. "You're all dead..."

Suddenly, Ajora stood up and lightning bolts shot out of his hands and flew everywhere. Ramza was blown backwards and knocked against the wall. When he stood up again, the most horrible sight appeared before his eyes.

"No..." he gasped. All of Ramza's friends were gone and replaced by blue crystals.

"It seems like you have run out of luck," Ajora said, advancing on Ramza. "Ready to join them?"

"You... You killed them all..." Ramza cried as he sank to his knees. Wet tears began to fall from his eyes. "...Alma... Rafa..."

"Yes..." Ajora laughed. "Go ahead and cry. It won't do anything..."

Ramza glared up at Ajora and stood up. "You monster! I'll never forgive you!!!" he yelled.

"What is this?!..." Ajora asked, a look of horrific surprise replacing his smirk of triumph.

"ULTIMA!!!!" Ramza screamed. The holy detonation caught Ajora completely off guard and disintegrated him. An inhuman scream split the air, and there was a bright flash.

"Unghhh... Ramza, what happened?"

"Huh?" Ramza asked as he looked up. All of his friends were getting up and brushing themselves off. "...You're all alive?" he asked with surprise.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Agrias asked.

"But... Ajora... he..." Ramza stuttered.

"Talk slowly, Ramza," Rafa said.

Ramza told the group what he saw happen. "I see..." Orlandu said. "Ajora must have cast an illusion spell over you. All that lightning attack did was knock us all out for a bit. He wanted you to despair and give up. It's a good thing you didn't."

"Right," Alma said. "I know you'd never let us down, big brother."

"...Ajora!" Ramza said. "Where is he?!"

Suddenly, the whole room began shaking. "What the hell?!" Cloud yelled.

"...Earthquake?" Mustadio offered as an explanation.

"Get real!" Agrias huffed. "It's Ajora!"

"Where are you, Ajora?!" Ramza yelled.

"Ah ha ha..." Ajora's dark voice echoed through the room. "...THIS BADDLE HAZ JUSD BEGUNN!!! I... AM... KAISER AJORA!!!!"

"What?!" Cinna exclaimed. "The dude's gone nucking futs!"

"I think you did something to his brain with that Ultima spell of yours," Malak said to Ramza. "Sounds like all he remembers now is revenge and hatred."

"DIE, R-R-RAMZAAAA!!! JUSDIE, RAMZAAAAAAAA!!!!" Ajora's distorted voice shrieked through the room.

"Sounds like he's REALLY mad!" Alicia said.

"Get ready!" Lavian growled.

Suddenly, the eastern wall exploded, and concrete and plaster flew everywhere. Ramza and his friends shielded themselves to protect from the onslaught of stone. When the dust cleared, a truly horrific sight awaited them.

The entire wall was gone, and outside of it, the cold void of outer space could be seen. The planet lay below them like a huge ball. A gigantic, mechanical version of Ajora dangled in from the outside, his arms loaded to the brim with weaponry and his face a metal skull. Ovelia's corpse hung from the top of the skull like one might wear a headband or a crown.

"Why are we in space all of a sudden?" Meliadoul asked.

"Come on!" Rad said. "All big final battles have a space backdrop! Would you settle for anything less?"

"Look at all the different colors of metal on him," Mustadio said. "He must have assembled himself from all the pieces of the Mechannites."

"DIE!!!" Kaiser Ajora roared, his mouth opening to reveal a gigantic laser cannon.

"Look out!!!" Agrias shouted as she shoved Mustadio to the side. A huge, rainbow-colored beam fired from the cannon and blew a hole in the other side of the room. The green mists of The Realm of the Dead swirled about outside of that wall.

"See? The space backdrop's just for effect," Rad concluded.

"DEATH MISSILE!!!" Ajora screeched as he fired a barrage of explosives at the group. They were all knocked backwards and hit the floor.

"I'm not letting this walking can opener get the better of me!" Meliadoul yelled as she ran up and slashed at Kaiser Ajora's arms. A few of the launchers snapped off and dissolved. Ajora raised his mighty hand and sent Meliaodul flying.

"I've got ya, Mel!" Cinna yelled as he ran under Meliadoul and caught her. "Are ya OK?" he asked.

"You've saved my life twice now," Meliadoul said, blushing.

"Ahh, I'm just always in the right place," Cinna chuckled.

"ULTIMA SKY DEMON!!!" Rafa and Malak yelled at the same time. The sacred explosion ripped away pieces of Kaiser Ajora's shielding, but it didn't hurt him much.

"TERMINAL CLAW!!!" Kaiser Ajora roared as his left hand became a gigantic saw blade. It came down hard at Rafa. If Ramza hadn't grabbed her and leaped out of the way, it surely would have split her in two.

"Lights out, buddy!" Beowulf yelled. "I'm sappin' your powers! ASPEL!!!"

"Machines dislike electricity," Reis noted. "Thunder Bracelet!"

Both attacks damaged Kaiser Ajora significantly, but he still kept attacking. "DOOMSDAY SPHERE!!!" he screeched as he fired a tiny, purple ball out of his mouth. It flopped to the ground in front of the party.

"What's that supposed to do?" Agrias snorted mockingly. Suddenly, the sphere grew to almost the size of the entire room and started firing huge blasts of plasma every which way. This knocked everyone down.

"Gyaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Orlandu wailed as he hit the ground.

"I won't be beaten that easily!" Cloud yelled. "FINISHING TOUCH!!!"

Cloud's massive wind attack launched Kaiser Ajora out of the room. After taking significant damage, he crashed back into the room and smacked Cloud against a wall.

"He's really kicking our butts..." Rad commented. "What do we do now, Ramza?"

"Keep fighting, tooth and nail!" Ramza yelled. "SCREAM!!!!"

Ramza screamed and increased his stats before he rushed at Kaiser Ajora with his sword. Kaiser Ajora just laughed insanely and punched Ramza backwards. He crashed into a wall and fell to the floor.

"Ramza!!!" Rafa and Alma yelled simultaneously.

As Ramza struggled to get up, he noticed that the planet below was getting bigger and closer every second. "What... What's that?..." Ramza asked.

"SOON THE REALM OF THE DEAD WILL EMERGE IN YOUR WORLD, RAMZA..." Kaiser Ajora roared. "AND I SHALL BE FREE!!!"

"That's... your plan?..." Ramza asked.

"NO ONE SHALL DENY ME MY DESTINY!!!" Kaiser Ajora yelled.

"Well, you forgot about us! HOLY EXPLOSION!!!" Agrias yelled as she launched her strongest attack. Kaiser Ajora took damage, but then he zapped Agrias with a laser and knocked her down.

"I... won't... be... beaten... by... the likes of you..." Ramza wheezed as he tried to stand up. "Ovelia's counting on me... Rafa's counting on me... Alma's counting on me... everyone's counting on me!..."

"Ramza..." Rafa said as she looked up at him with more love than ever before.

Suddenly, a strange thing happened. Everyone started to glow. The glows then turned into rays of light that launched themselves at Ramza. He became engulfed in a wash of sacred illumination.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Kaiser Ajora roared.

"Your time's up, Ajora!" Ramza shouted. "This is for everyone you've ever hurt! HAAAAAAIIIYAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

As all his friends watched, Ramza charged up to Kaiser Ajora and sent his Chaos Blade straight through the huge skull. A horrible, eardrum-shattering scream rocked the entire Realm. Kaiser Ajora leaned backwards and began to explode.

"It is useless!" he roared. "IT IS USELESS!!! YOU KNOW IT IS, RAMZA!!!"

"Shut up and die..." Ramza growled. "No matter how many times you come back, I'll defeat you!"

"AH HA HA!!!" Ajora laughed. "I'LL REMEMBER YOU SAID THAT... IT GIVES ME MOTIVATION TO COME BACK SOME DAY!!!"

"Just die, you filthy monster," Ramza said as he yanked his sword out of the robotic madman's head.

"I'LL BE BACK, RAMZA!!!" Ajora shrieked. "I WILL... UWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

With a supersonic explosion, Ajora was gone. The entire room reverted to what it had been before. The candles were back where they had been, and the walls were repaired. Ovelia's mutilated body still lay in the center of the circle of candles.

"Whoo..." Alma sighed. "...Is it over?"

"I think it is," Malak said.

"We beat him..." Cloud panted.

"Nice job, Ramza," Cinna said. "You saved us all."

"Thanks," Ramza said as he sheathed his sword. "But what about Ovelia?..."

"I don't think that's a problem," Rafa said as she walked up and put her arm around Ramza's shoulders. She turned him around towards the candles. "...Look!"

As everyone watched, the putrid remains of the dead queen started to put themselves back together to form a body. Skin began to reform on the bones, and the clothing began to stitch itself back up.

"Unbelievable..." Rad gasped.

"Amazing..." Orlandu said as his aged eyes widened at the sight.

After everything reassembled itself, Queen Ovelia lay in the circle of candles, restored to her rightful youth and beauty.

"Your majesty!" Agrias cried. She was cut off by Mustadio.

"Shhh!" Mustadio hissed. "You'll wake her up!"

Everyone watched Ovelia's eyes flutter as she awoke. "Ohhh... Where am I?..." she asked in her usual soft voice. She slowly picked herself up off the ground and brushed herself off.

"...Your majesty?..." Agrias asked quietly.

"Huh?" Ovelia asked, turning to face the party. Everyone knelt down on one knee and lowered their heads.

"Welcome back, your majesty," Agrias said.

"...Stand up," Ovelia ordered in a matter-of-fact voice. Everyone did as they were told. Ovelia's eyes spilled over with happy tears as she ran to the group. "Agrias!!!" she cried as she flung herself on her bodyguard.

"Your majesty, I'm so glad to see you..." Agrias sighed as she hugged Ovelia back tightly.

Ovelia then ran to Orlandu. "Uncle!!!" she cried happily as she wrapped her arms around him.

"My niece... I'm so happy..." Orlandu chuckled as his voice cracked and tears began to form in his eyes.

"Alma!!!" Ovelia cheered as she hugged her best friend.

"It's nice to see you, too," Alma cried as she squeezed back.

Finally, Ovelia broke off the hug and turned around. "Ramza!!!" she yelled happily and threw her arms around his neck.

"There, there..." Ramza said, patting her on the back. "It's all right now..."

"How... how long have I been away?" Ovelia asked.

"About three months," Agrias explained. "A lot has changed since then, your majesty."

"Agrias," Ovelia said. "Please stop calling me that. Because I died, I'm not the queen anymore. Just call me Ovelia."

"All right... Ovelia," Agrias said.

"Please, you must tell me everything!" Ovelia begged Ramza.

"All right..." Ramza said. "But let's get out of here. This dead atmosphere isn't good for anyone's health."

The party turned around and walked out of the chamber. As they left, Miluda, Zalbag, Izlude and Balbanes materialized in the room.

"That Ramza's become a great man," Izlude said.

"Yes, he's wonderful..." Miluda agreed.

"I couldn't be more proud of him," Zalbag added.

"Well done, Ramza..." Balbanes said as his aged face cracked into a warm smile. "Well done, my son... You're a true Beoulve... A hero."


	36. Untimely Departure

**CHAPTER 36**

**UNTIMELY DEPARTURE**

"So, that's what's happened..." Ovelia said as the party headed towards the gateway back to the land of the living.

"I'm afraid so..." Ramza said. "I'm sorry I don't have better news."

"I know Delita didn't mean to kill me..." Ovelia said. "...But what he's become now..."

"Do you still love him?" Agrias asked.

"I did once..." Ovelia said. "But now, I'm not so sure..."

"Whatever," Cinna said. "Hey, we got your buddy back, so this quest is officially over! Let's go back to Fello City and PARTY!"

"That does sound like a good-" Mustadio started to say. Suddenly, he stopped talking as the party emerged from the gateway and it closed up behind them.

Delita knelt with his back turned to them, sobbing uncontrollably. The shattered remains of ZomTeta lay in the corner, Delita's Chaos Blade buried in them. "Why?... Why?..." he sobbed.

"...Delita?..." Ramza asked.

When he heard Ramza's voice, Delita stopped crying. He turned around with pure hatred in his eyes. "You..." he hissed. "You did this to me..."

"D-Delita?..." Ovelia stammered.

"Stop trying to blame everything on Ramza!" Rafa scolded. "None of this is his fault!"

"Oh, yes it is..." Delita growled as he stood up and grabbed his sword. "He made me murder my sister for his own greedy desires..."

"Ramza brought me back, Delita," Ovelia said. "Can't we talk this out?..."

"So, you're alive, my dear..." Delita said, a sickly smile appearing on his face. to take the throne back? Well, you're not getting it..."

"Delita?" Alma asked. "You're starting to scare me..."

Quick as a flash, Delita whipped his sword out. With a horrible shriek he threw it straight towards Ovelia.

"LOOK OUT!!!" Cinna yelled. Ovelia fearfully closed her eyes and braced herself.

Time slowed down as Delita's Chaos Blade thrust itself into Cinna's front and bloodlessly shot out the back. Cinna, with a surprised expression on his face, sank to his knees, and then fell over on his side.

"...CINNA!!!" Ramza yelled.

"Cinna..." Meliadoul gasped as ran to his side and cradled his head in her arms.

"Fool," Delita snorted. "Getting in the way of my revenge..."

"YOU!!!" Ramza yelled, charging at Delita with his sword drawn. Now Delita was on the defensive as Ramza slashed at him furiously as they ran around the temple.

After about three minutes, Delita slipped on a rock and went crashing to the floor. He rolled over to see Ramza's sword pointed right at his throat. Ramza's eyes were glaring straight into Delita's soul in such an accusing way that Delita suddenly remembered what fear was.

That fear didn't last very long, though. He smirked at Ramza. "Go on and kill me," he snickered. "You'll still be a heretic and a fugitive. Killing me won't change anything."

"...And if I don't kill you?" Ramza asked.

"...That won't change anything either," Delita said after a moment's hesitation.

"You don't believe that," Ramza said, throwing his sword to the ground. "This battle is over. Go home!"

Delita was quite surprised at this response, but he decided it could be used to his advantage. "How foolish of you to let me go, Ramza," Delita sneered. "You know that I'll send troops against you again!"

"And again, and again, and again..." Ramza said softly. "Until all your troops and all my friends are gone, and there's nothing left but hatred... Go home, Delita. And never come back to Zeratul."

"I... You... Urgh..." Delita stuttered. Finally, he just bit his lip and slowly started to leave the temple. At the exit, he turned to Ovelia. "Are you coming?" he asked.

Ovelia, who was trying to find some way to help Cinna, glared up at Delita. "...Go home," she said coldly.

Sorrowful tears welled up in Delita's eyes as he turned around and plodded out of the temple. Ramza sheathed his sword and ran to Cinna's side.

"Cinna, be strong," Ramza said. "You'll make it!"

"No, Ramza," Cinna said. "This is it for me... Heh heh heh..."

"Don't die, Cinna," Meliadoul sobbed. "We've just begun to know each other..."

"Keep cool, Mel..." Cinna said. "I'll always be... around..."

"Cinna..." Ramza said.

"We went on a lot of adventures together, Ramza," Cinna chuckled. "You always were first to go everywhere... but it looks like I'm the first to embark on THIS adventure..."

Ramza could hear his friends grieving in their own ways behind him- Rafa was crying softly on Malak's shoulder, Cloud was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief, Worker No.8 had put his hands together in a sign of peace and prayer.

"Remember to give that song to Cress..." Cinna said as he looked up at Ramza. "Oh... So sleepy now... Must rest..."

"Cinna..." Malak said as he stepped forward. Cinna weakly turned his head to face Malak. Tears began to well up in Malak's eyes as he gave Cinna a thumbs up. "Stay cool... dude," he said softly.

"...Ah... ha.... ha... ha..." Cinna laughed quietly. "There's hope for you yet, Malak..."

Malak cracked a sad smile. Meliadoul stroked his hair gently. "It's not like that," she sniffed. "I was really nasty to you throughout this trip, and I'm so sorry, Cinna... I acted like that because I... I..."

"Oh..." Cinna whispered, his mouth forming into one last smile. "That... Well... That changes everything. Look to the sky at night, Mel. I'll be shinin' a star for ya..."

Just then, the familiar gleam in Cinna's eyes faded, and he fell silent. His head softly fell back on Meliadoul's lap. Everyone quieted and stayed silent for some time.

"...I guess you really loved him," Orlandu said as he put his hand on Meliadoul's shoulder.

"Yes..." Meliadoul sighed sadly as she ran her fingers over Cinna's dead face. "I guess I'll never find out why now..."


	37. Epilogue

**CHAPTER 37**

**EPILOGUE**

"Thank you so much for saving our country from the Mechannites," President Maclus said as he shook Ramza's hand in front of a huge group of people in Berkana. "You can have asylum from Ivalice in Zeratul for as long as you live."

"Thank you very much, sir," Ramza said.

"And if any of you or your friends has gotten in trouble with the authorities in this country, let it be known that you are officially pardoned!" Maclus continued.

"YES!!!" Rad, Alicia and Lavian cheered.

"Nuts," High Priest Nodyl grumbled from the crowd.

"Thank you so much for saving me," Ovelia said to all of them. "I'm forever in your debt."

"It was our pleasure, Ovelia," Rafa said. "So, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know..." Ovelia sighed. "As far as Delita's concerned, I'm a fugitive just like you all, and I'm not a queen anymore..."

"I can't rest as long as I know Ajora's still out there..." Ramza said. "I'm going off for a while to see if I can learn anything else. Anyone who's willing to come with me can."

There was silence for a moment. Then, Rafa stepped forward. "I'll follow you wherever you go, Ramza," she said.

"Me too," Alma added.

Everyone else agreed with Alma and Rafa. Ramza was truly touched.

"Thanks, guys..." Ramza said.

"We'll come too," Olan said as Balmafula and he appeared on stage. "I'd like a little adventure."

"How about you, Cloud?" Ramza asked the spiky-haired time traveler.

"Sorry, Ramza," Cloud said. "It's time for me to go home." Cloud pulled the Rooster Stone out of his pocket.

"All right," Ramza said. "Take care, Cloud."

"You, too, Ramza," Cloud said. "Ummm... I'm not too good at this, but..."

Cloud extended his hand. Ramza took it and they shook warmly. Cloud held the Rooster Stone out in front of him, and a portal opened. The ruined dome of Midgar could be seen through the opening.

"Keep the stone in case you want to come back!" Mustadio called. "And bring your girlfriend to meet us sometime!"

Cloud laughed heartily- something he didn't do often- and vanished into the portal. As it began to close up, Ramza saw a dark-haired girl run up to Cloud and hug him tightly. "I missed you too, Tifa..." Cloud said as the portal closed.

"(Sniff) that was so beautiful..." Beowulf sniffled as he wiped his nose on his suit.

"As much as we'd like to stick around, maybe we'd better get going," Ramza said.

"Yeah!!!" everyone cheered, pumping their fists.

"Umm, Ramza..." Ovelia spoke up.

"What is it, Ovelia?" Ramza asked.

"Ummm..." Ovelia started to say. "...Can I come too?"

Ramza smiled warmly at the former queen. "Of course, Ovelia," he said. "My friends are always welcome."

"Thank you..." Ovelia said.

"Maybe this next trip'll let us have some quiet time together..." Rafa whispered in Ramza's ear. He blushed slightly and patted her shoulder.

"The airship's ready," Davis said. "Come on! I'll fly you all to Steronn."

"So we finally go to Steronn," Agrias chuckled. "After all this time."

"Funny, isn't it?" Mustadio asked. "Hey, maybe we'll find an ancient civilization there!"

"Oh, come on," Agrias snorted. "Only you would be turned on by that kind of crap. Now shut up and kiss me!"

Mustadio was quite surprised yet happy when Agrias grabbed him and pressed her mouth to his. Ovelia giggled at the sight.

As the group walked towards the airship field, they were stopped by three people; Cinna's parents and Cress.

"Ramza, thanks for taking care of our boy..." Flo said.

"But..." Ramza started.

"Ahh, no excuses," Everett said. "He did what his heart told him. I couldn't be more proud of him or you."

"...Thanks," Ramza said.

"And thank you too, Meliadoul," Flo said.

"I... You're welcome..." Meliadoul said as she shook Flo's hand.

"I got his song going on the radio," Cress said. "Want a copy? Here's a record of it."

Cress handed Ramza a large, black disc. "Thank you, Cress," Ramza said as he accepted the gift. "And keep warding those demons away from your shop."

"Ah ha ha," the old man laughed. "Sure thing."

"Your Majesty," Captain Flite said as he saluted Ovelia and Agrias. "Please have a safe journey. I wish you the best."

"You too, Roderick," Ovelia said. "Make sure Delita doesn't do anything stupid, OK?"

"Yes, your Majesty," Flite said. "Agrias, thanks for helping me see my faults..."

"You're welcome, Flite," Agrias said, shaking the Captain's hand. "Let's join ranks again sometime!"

Ramza, Rafa, Malak, Alma, Agrias, Mustadio, Ovelia, Worker No.8, Rad, Alicia, Lavian, Meliadoul, Beowulf, Reis, Olan, Balmafula and Orlandu all piled into Davis's airship and it lifted off. They waved goodbye to the city of Berkana and Zeratul as they sailed off over the ocean.

"What a wonderful country," Rafa said as she put her arms around Ramza's waist. "We'll have to go back and visit it again some time."

"Yeah..." Ramza agreed. Ramza and Rafa looked at each other. They drew closer, and...

"Oh, come ON!" Agrias howled. "Just DO IT already!"

"OK," Ramza and Rafa said, and embraced with a passionate kiss that lasted a long time. Everyone else looked on approvingly. The airship sailed off into the sunset towards a new day and a new adventure.

* * *

"...Wow..." Watson said as Alazlam finished reading. "This fills in a lot of gaps."

"Most certainly," Alazlam said as he closed the book. "This will aid my research back at Igros University immensely."

"Yes, but what happened to others, like Captain Flite?" Watson asked.

"Let me see..." Alazlam said as he looked in the book again. "Flite and Delita returned to Ivalice. Delita was never the same after this whole incident, so Flite did most of the governing for him. Cardinal Cronstadt reported Ramza's insolence to the new High Priest at Murond, but the High Priest just blew him off and told him 'not to get his knickers in a twist.'"

"Glad I dragged you all the way out here to read this?" Atremis laughed.

"Thank you very much, old friend," Alazlam said. Just then, he felt a tug at his shoulder. He looked down to see a small boy of about 10. The boy had tan skin and blonde hair.

"Excuse me, sir," the boy said. "But may I look at that book you were reading?"

"Sure," Alazlam said as he handed the volume to the boy, who staggered under the weight. "By the way, son, what's your name?"

"My name's Cinna Ruglia," the boy answered. "The name's been in the family for generations."

The boy staggered off to another table and opened the book at page one.

"Cinna Ruglia?..." Watson asked. "Alazlam, you don't suppose..."

Alazlam chuckled a bit. "Life's full of surprises," he said. "Well, Atremis, I'd better head back to the University."

"All right," Atremis said. "You two take care now!"

Alazlam gathered up his notes, and Watson and he left the library to get on the bullet train that would take them back to the ship that would take them back to Ivalice.

**THE END**


	38. The Ballad of Ramza Beoulve

**THE BALLAD OF RAMZA BEOULVE**

**By Cinna Garnomm  
(With some help from ker-plop and Ghaleon Bonne)  
**(To the tune of ABC's "Sonic the Hedgehog" cartoon show theme song)

**By Ghaleon  
**Nice sword, sweet guy.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Too strong for the Lucavi.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!

(Chorus)  
_Ramza! _  
_He battles for truth!  
Ramza!  
He's got no attitude!  
Ramza!  
He's the strongest guy alive!_

Don't doubt what he can do.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Or he'll, he'll beat you too.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Repeat chorus)  
(Repeat 'strongest guy alive' thrice.)

**By ker-plop  
**Shunned in Ivalice.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Wanted as a Heretic.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Chorus)

Tired of fightin' fools.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Sailed off for Zeratul.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Repeat chorus)  
(Repeat 'strongest guy alive' thrice.)

Watch out, bad guys.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
He'll crush all the Mechannites.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Chorus)

He's got his friends to aid 'im.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Bad guys also do hate 'em.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Repeat Chorus)  
(Repeat 'strongest guy alive' thrice)

Rafa, Malak.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Agrias, and Mustadio.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Chorus)

Alma, and Meliadoul.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Orlandu, and Cloud too.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Repeat Chorus)  
(Repeat 'strongest guy alive' thrice)

Beware, Hyral.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
He'll stop all of your lies, pal.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Chorus)

He will soon find all the Stones.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Then he'll save Queen Ovelia.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Repeat Chorus)  
(Repeat 'strongest guy alive' thrice)

Have fear, Draco.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
He's come to claim your Stone.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
(Chorus)

Then he'll have all the Stones.  
It's Ramza Beoulve!  
Then he'll defeat Ajora.  
He's Ramza Beoulve!  
_Ramza! _  
_He battles for truth  
Ramza!  
He's got no attitude!  
Ramza!  
He's the strongest guy alive!  
He's the strongest guy alive!  
HE'S THE STRONGEST GUY ALIIIIIIIVE!!!_


	39. Tactics.5 Brave Story

**FINAL FANTASY TACTICS.5  
CHINESE ZODIAC BRAVE STORY  
Cast of Characters**

**Ramza Beoulve (Age: 22)**  
One of two remaining children of Balbanes Beoulve, a renowned leader in the 50 Year War. After being branded a heretic by the Glabados Church and defeating Ajora, Ramza has decided to search for adventure elsewhere, and this ambition lead him to Zeratul. He fights for truth and justice for others. Rafa's sweetheart.

**King Delita Hyral (Age: 22)  
**Friend of you. Once a stable boy for the Beoulve family, Delita is now king of Ivalice through marriage to Queen Ovelia. Mysteriously, Ovelia died a short time after he gained the throne. He continues to manipulate and use others for his own means.

**Alma Beoulve (Age: 21)  
**Your younger sister. Alma appears to be the reincarnation of St. Ajora, the evil leader of the Lucavi and the Mechannites. She was able to expel Ajora from her body and now travels everywhere with you.

**Queen Ovelia Atkashka (Deceased)  
**Raised by Prince Larg and brought up in a monastery, Ovelia led a very sheltered life until she was thrown into the Lion War along with you and Delita. She developed romantic feelings for Delita and was married to him. Mysteriously died a few months after. Details surrounding her death are shady to say the least.

**Captain Agrias Oaks (Age: 26)  
**Queen Ovelia's loyal bodyguard. After being separated from the queen, Agrias joined you in the quest to defeat the Lucavi. Was promoted to the rank of Captain by Professor Daravon of the Gariland Military Academy after Ajora was defeated. Shares a love/hate relationship with Mustadio.

**Mustadio Buanza (Age: 23)  
**A skilled engineer who can get into any kind of machine. He's been following you ever since you saved his father's life. The first engineer to use a gun in battle. Shares a love/hate relationship with Agrias.

**Meliadoul Tingel (Age: 24)  
**An ex-Temple Knight of the Church of Glabados. Meliadoul quit the knights after finding that they were controlled by Lucavi. She has lost both her father and brother to the Lucavi and is travelling with you to wipe out the rest of Ajora's followers. Is seemingly annoyed by Cinna's constant attempts to befriend her.

**Rafa Golthana (Age: 19)  
**An exotic wizard from the area around Riovanes Castle. After you saved her brother and her from Prince Barinten and Marquis Elmdor, she decided to come with you. Sister to Malak and your sweetheart.

**Malak Golthana (Age: 22)  
**An exotic wizard from the area around Riovanes Castle. Malak decided to join your party after Rafa and you used the Zodiac Stones to bring him back to life. Brother to Rafa.

**Rad Gate (Age: 18)  
**Ex-Apprentice of Dark Knight Gafgarion. After Gafgarion betrayed you and Ovelia, Rad decided to stay and learn from you instead.

**Alicia Strago (Age: 21)  
**A Knight serving under Captain Agrias. Best friend of Lavian.

**Lavian Nall (Age: 21)  
**A Knight serving under Captain Agrias. Best friend of Alicia.

**Cidolfus Orlandu (Age: 62)  
**Also known as "Thunder God Cid" because of his amazing battle skills. Was to be assassinated by Prince Goltana, but you helped him escape. Uncle to Ovelia and stepfather to Olan.

**Cloud Strife (Age: 21)  
**A mysterious time traveler that Mustadio and you found. Battles to find a way back to his own time, but is loyal to you and your cause.

**Reis Mular (Age: 29)  
**Sweetheart of knight Beowulf. Was cursed to be a dragon until Beowulf and you found the 'Cancer' stone and broke the curse.

**Beowulf Kadmas (Age: 36)  
**Ex-Temple Knight. Used to work for the church until a bishop grew jealous of his relationship with Reis and turned her into a dragon. Now he fights alongside you as thanks for saving his lover.

**Worker No.8 (Age: --)  
**A machine from Ajora's time that Mustadio and you reactivated. Was a mindless drone until Mustadio installed basic intelligence into him. Regards you as his 'Master' and follows you everywhere.

**Cinna Garnomm (Age: 25)  
**A famous bard in Zeratul. Cinna has written many famous songs, such as 'Dragon of Agnor,' 'Truth Be Known' and 'Be My Baby, Baby.' Is working on 'The Ballad of Ramza Beoulve.' Is travelling with you as a guide. Tries to be friendly to Meliadoul.

**Flo Garnomm (Age: 50)  
**Mother to Cinna. Owned a restaurant until her arthritis got so bad she had to close it down. Now retired and lives in Berkana with her husband Everett.

**Everett Garnomm (Age: 54)  
**Father to Cinna. Was a lumberjack in forests outside of Berkana until he broke his back in an accident and couldn't work any more. Now retired and lives in Berkana with his wife Flo.

**Olan Durai  
**An astrologist who worked under Orlandu until the Lion War broke out. Was thrown in the dungeon by Delita as "a man knowing the truth," but was able to escape. Wrote the Durai Report, which the church confiscated. Claimed to have been burnt at the stake by the church, but actually found his way to Zeratul along with Balmafula. Now following Ramza and his stepfather Orlandu as they search for the Chinese Zodiac Stones. Cousin to the late Queen.

**Balmafula Lanando  
**A magician from the Glabados Church, though her faith is quite low. She was falling for Delita until he nearly killed her and tossed her in the dungeon along with Olan. Now she travels with Olan as they follow Ramza's path through Zeratul.

**Celia (Age: ??)  
**A devastatingly beautiful assassin that used to work for Marquis Elmdor. Likes to decieve people.

**Lede (Age: ??)  
**A devastatingly beautiful assassin that used to work for Marquis Elmdor. Likes to decieve people.

**Captain Roderick Flite (Age: 26)  
**Delita's right-hand man and a classmate of Agrias. Graduated from Gariland Academy and led the Nanten Knights during the Lion War. After Delita took over, he was promoted to the leader of the armies. He was fiercely loyal to the Nanten cause, but after Ovelia's death he finds himself questioning Delita's authority.

**Admiral Jonathan Miraz (Age: 16)  
**Admiral of Ivalice's Navy. Abandoned as a child and raised by Delita and Ovelia and trained in the navy ranks for ten years, Miraz is the youngest officer in Delita's forces. His loyalty to Ovelia and Ivalice is steadfast, but even he has suspiciouns about the queen's death.

**President Reginald Maclus (Age: 53)  
**President of Zeratul. Was a congressman for eight years before elected president. He wishes to keep the country safe while getting enough approval to win re-election to the presidency.

**Teta Hyral (Deceased)  
**Delita's sister. Killed by Algus at Fort Zeakden over 5 years ago and possibly is the reason Delita became the tyrant he is during the Zeratul affair.

**Cardinal Antony Zerrus (Age: 57)  
**A cardinal of the Glabados Church in Zeratul. Strict and rigid in his beliefs, Zerrus makes it a point to eliminate heretics like yourself. Stationed in Porta Vista.

**High Priest Roald Nydol (Age: 46)  
**A high priest of the Glabados Church in Zeratul. One of the youngest religious leaders in the Glabados church, but by no means less formidable. Trains an elite squad of desperados to protect his church. Stationed in Nazdrubia.

**Cardinal Marcus Cronstadt (Age: 53)  
**A cardinal of the Glabados Church in Zeratul. Cronstadt does not question the orders of his superiors, and when he is ordered to kill you, he attends to the matter ferociously. Stationed in Icicle Inn.

**Doctor Basil Furkkes (Age: 89)  
**A biologist working for Delita. Conducted experiments at Igros University until he was fired for using live test subjects. Manufactures living war machines for Delita and houses the Lucavi Torokann.

**Ajora (Deceased)  
**An ancient being and the founder of the Glabados Church. Controls the Lucavi and the Mechannites in attempts to conquer the world. Has been foiled by you once, and is anxious to get revenge. Enters the body of the dead Queen Ovelia in an attempt to escape The Realm of the Dead, where he is held prisoner.

**Miluda Folles (Deceased)  
**Younger sister of Wiegraf, a Temple Knight. Killed by you before the Lion Wars began.

**Izlude Tingel (Deceased)  
**Meliadoul's brother. Was a Temple Knight until he was slain by Hashmalum at Riovanes Castle. Gave Alma the Pices Stone.

**Zalbag Beoulve (Deceased)  
**Your older brother. Was a respected Hokuten knight in the Lion Wars until he was killed by Adramelk. Came back to life as an undead puppet of Hashmalum but was put to rest by you.

**Balbanes Beoulve (Deceased)  
**Your father. Was poisoned by Dycedarg before the 50-Year War ended. Some people claim you inherited his soul and heroic spirit.

**Cardinal Alphans Draclau (Deceased)  
**Ex-Cardinal of the Glabados Church. Housed the Lucavi Queklain until you destroyed him.

**Dycedarg Beoulve (Deceased)  
**Your eldest brother. Housed the Lucavi Adramelk until you destroyed him.

**Marquis Elmdor (Deceased)  
**Leader of the Limberry forces. Died honorably and was revived as Lucavi Zalera, but you destroyed him.

**Vormav Tingel (Deceased)  
**Leader of the Glabados Church Temple Knights. Housed the Lucavi Hashmalum until you defeated him. Father to Meliadoul and Izlude.

**Wiegraf Folles (Deceased)  
**Ex-Death Corps leader who became a Temple Knight before housing the Lucavi Velius. Destroyed by you.

**Algus Sadalfam (Deceased)  
**A rookie Limberry Aegis Knight. Algus was trying to bring his family honor and greatness by becoming a knight, but failed. Killed Delita's sister Teta, and then was killed by you at Fort Zeakden. Furkkes revives him to destroy you but you defeat him again.

**CHINESE ZODIAC STONE GLOSSARY**

**PIG-** Causes massive earthquakes when the bearer stomps his/her foot.

**SNAKE-** Forms a protective, toxic barrier around the bearer. If an enemy touches the barrier, he/she becomes poisoned.

**MONKEY-** Allows the bearer to become invisible for brief periods of time.

**DOG- **Projects multiple images of the bearer to confuse enemies.

**SHEEP-** The bearer can emit hypnotic waves to manipulate enemies.

**TIGER-** Transforms the bearer into a werewolf.

**HORSE-** Grants the bearer the power of flight with magical wings.

**OX-** Generates shockwaves when the bearer swings his/her fists.

**RAT-** Creates a huge ball of slime to ensnare the bearer's enemies.

**ROOSTER-** Allows the bearer to travel through time.

**RABBIT-** Grants the bearer powerful golden armor.

**DRAGON-** The bearer can launch huge volleys of fireballs from his/her hands.


End file.
